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+--- Thread: Role Playing feelings and Real Life feelings. (/showthread.php?tid=6925)
RE: Role Playing feelings and Real Life feelings. - Faye - 04-17-2014
Hello! I doubt I have anything new to add to the conversation, but... oh well, I wanted to throw in my two cents. First of all, it's relatively normal to feel what your character does! For most of us it's typical to watch a tragedy and feel sad, to watch a romance and feel warm and fuzzy, to watch a comedy and feel goofy, etc. And with it being RP, we become even more involved! Our characters are our babies, our creations. We get attached to them--because that is our very job as role-players, to create another person who feels three-dimensional and believable, and to write out that person's thoughts, actions, and feelings.
However, blurring IC and OOC causes a cornucopia of problems that I'm not even going to try to describe because I could write a novel about it. If your feelings go far beyond simple empathy and sympathy for your character, or if you begin to lose context about what is IC/RP, what is OOC, and what is RL, things get messy for everyone involved. So, I have some simple rules/tips by which I usually abide, and I encourage the same for others!
1. Is your RP significantly affecting your mood IRL? - It's okay to feel sympathy, empathy, or catharsis from an RP in the same way we might after watching a movie or show. However, if it is affecting your mood long term or in a way that impacts your life, that's an issue. Take a step back, and remember that it is just RP, it's online, it's fiction, it's fantasy. You are yourself. Not your avatar, not your character. You are the human being behind the monitor. Your real life is away from Eorzea, away from FFXIV, away from your computer. You may even need to take an actual break/hiatus from RP or the game entirely to get your priorities in order.
2. If you are taking your RP personally, it's probably a sign there is something wrong with your personal life. - Really, I'm no therapist here! I also don't mean this as an insult; everyone has RL issues and we all try to cope with them in different ways. However, if something in your life is blurring your judgment to the point that fantasy and reality aren't clearly defined and separate, if you feel the need to escape to a fantasy world constantly and avoid reality because the fantasy is better, or if you feel the need to live vicariously through a fictional character interacting with other fictional characters, you have real life issues you need to sort out. Do some introspection and find out what those problems are, and get your priorities in life straightened out, even if it means taking a break from the game. Not only are you hurting your RP, but you're hurting yourself and your life.
3. Make sure your RP is still fun. - RP is a hobby, it's solely for fun and it's meant to make us feel better and relax. If it's doing the opposite, that's wrong and it needs to be fixed. I've been in role-plays where things outside of my control have happened, and my character has faced tragedy after tragedy after tragedy. It gets to the point that my storyline is in a place I hadn't intended and don't enjoy, and my character is a big, quiet pile of misery and trauma and role-playing her makes me absolutely bored and miserable. These things are not always in our control, sometimes the plotwists other players have planned and the actions of other characters hurt our own characters and screw them over. Our characters will, and should, face adversity, trauma, despair, betrayal, and all sorts of drama. However, if your RP is NOTHING but consistent tragedy and drama, it stops being fun, especially if all the dark twists and turns were not intended. If this is happening, change your RP and make it fun again. Some people are vehemently against "metagaming" and anything that detracts from the natural flow and "immersion" of the RP. However, this is meant to be fun, and I don't see a single thing wrong with using some OOC poking and prodding to get the most enjoyment out of your RP. Talk to your RP partners. Ask them to start taking the RP in a different direction, even ask them to retcon some things if necessary. If they value the "immersion" of the RP more than they value your real life feelings and enjoyment of the RP, then they are someone with whom you don't need to be role-playing.
4. Don't play a self-insert character - Basically, if you say "my character is based on me," "my character is just like me," or "my character is exactly who I want to be and wish I was IRL," you might want to change things! Avoiding confusing OOC and IC becomes impossible when you consider your character a significant aspect and reflection of yourself. When something happens, you take it personally and it affects your emotions, because your character is you. When anyone criticizes your character, OOC or IC, you get offended and take it as a personal attack because it's essentially the same as someone criticizing your real life self. That's bad, don't do that. You're welcome to play whatever sort of character you please, and I won't stop you, but I genuinely believe know that no good will come from playing a self-insert character. There is a reason Mary Sue's are frowned upon and mocked.
RE: Role Playing feelings and Real Life feelings. - Zhavi - 04-17-2014
(04-17-2014, 03:02 AM)Kimikimi Wrote: I have a question. Why is this topic so popular?
None of my friends are into writing, and I kinda. . .don't really talk about rp with people I know irl. So, to me, topics like these are wonderful places to splurge my opinion and see how it shapes up alongside others' opinions who are into writing/rp like I am. And, of course, whenever there are differing opinions people tend to talk more, especially when the topic involves something they're passionate about. Just how that social element works.
