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Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Printable Version

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Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Sig - 11-18-2015

I wanted to make this thread after reviewing numerous posts made in multiple threads where roleplayers have drawn negative assumptions and judgments about other roleplayers.  We are all guilty of doing this from time to time.  

It is common for role-players to draw assumptions and judge each other for a variety of reasons.  Common examples include assessing role-players based on their: (1) post length, grammatical structure, or word-choice; (2) decisions regarding character aesthetics; (3) common themes in RP, including comedy, drama, and horror; (4) disposition towards violent or erotic content in RP; and (5) beliefs regarding the stringency of lore-compliance.  These are only a few examples.  

I am of the belief that role-players should strive to keep open minds and find as much value in as many forms of role-play as possible.  It is amazing how some of the best role-players I know exhibit completely different RP styles, content preferences, and beliefs on lore-compliance.  The sign of a good role-player is not adherence to any particular value, but instead the ability to create dynamic, interesting content in real-time.  Most people who role-play possess this skill and utilize it to create their own unique form of RP, which brings them personal enjoyment.  There is value to be found any genuine style of role-play, as it is the product of creativity and imagination.

We should always keep in mind that other role-players are spending scarce, valuable time from their busy lives to engage in what amounts to a collaborative creative writing exercise.  We should always appreciate the efforts and interests others show in role-playing for this reason.  With this in mind, it is not our place to judge or assume things about other role-players based on their valid preferences or styles.  The only exception to this is when a person roleplays intentionally to harass or annoy other roleplayers (which is very rare).  We should look to learn from and adapt to different RP preferences and styles in the vast majority of settings.  

The next time you find yourself drawing a negative assumption or judgment about a roleplayer or their preferences consider keeping an open mind.  The role-player posting snippy one-to-two line dialogue might spout off some of the wittiest lines you've heard in weeks.  A character purporting to be a voidsent might serve as a horrifying, wonderful antagonist.  A scantily-clad Miqo'te flirting in the Quicksand might have an incredibly well-written backstory.  The possibilities are endless, so keep the door open.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Saravahn - 11-18-2015

I disagree. I believe it is my place to judge or assume things based on people's choices for their RP. I, too, am using what you described as "scarce, valuable time from [my] busy life"... as such, it should be my choice who/what I RP with at any given moment.


To make that choice, I have to assume and judge based on the choices the people have made.


Now, if you're trying to say "We should be nice and not tell people off for the choices they make"... I can agree with that a little more.


But your post, to me, comes off as "you should accept everything people do and RP with them no matter what."


Sorry. I have standards that need to be met for me to thoroughly enjoy RP.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Verad - 11-18-2015

There is no middle ground in this, and the stakes are incredibly high.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Teadrinker - 11-18-2015

I congenially and respectfully disagree.

A character can just be a horrible character and the player can then get on another one and play much better - this I will agree with.

But things like grammar, sentence structure, the content of RP, flagrant and unnecessary sexuality with no actual basis in the character's development...

You can't fix that. The player just needs to grow out of it or stay within circles that like it or don't mind it. I don't think it's bad having standards and playing by them. That being said, more often than not I do give people chances. I'd say I'm batting at about a 90% disappointment rate.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - S'imba - 11-18-2015

The big one I've seen is taking absolutely everything a character says as truth and simply writing the rper off as a lore breaker. Which may be a complete lie on an ic level. There have been lots of characters S'imba knows that have tended to use terms to describe him that aren't remotely true about him. Some of it he'd deny other stuff he'd be too ignorant to know it's not true. 

A character claiming to be a black or white mage, S'imba is probably going to believe them. For one he doesn't have the knowledge of the lore on an ic level other than he knows of their existence. So with a few flashy spells it's not exactly hard for a conjurer to pass themselves off as a white mage to him. Makes for a lot more interesting character interaction to not just assume that the character is lore breaking. 

Just my thoughts on it.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Ashe - 11-18-2015

Yeah, I have to agree with Etienne.
There are certain things regarding RP that I personally look for and I think everyone has a bias towards certain things whether they admit it or not.
For me, if I see that your main objective in your RP is a sexual relationship between characters, I will judge someone on that and distance myself from that RP because that is not what I am looking for. 

I can agree that directly telling someone off for their choices isn't right. But explaining to someone why their idea may not be accepted or why it may be more challenging than it's worth really isn't the same as telling someone off. If you're going to come from out of nowhere with some crazy idea that may not make sense to 98% of RPers, most people won't accept it. That's just a fact.

Everyone has their own standards. I won't ERP. I won't RP in the QS. I have trouble RPing with someone who doesn't type as much as I do because if I start typing paragraphs and they respond with one line, then it gets me nowhere. I won't RP with someone who RPs a different lore set (i.e. if someone is RPing a different FF game in FFXIV or Naruto or some other thing). I won't RP with someone who sexualizes LGBT people for the sake of sexualizing them (looking at all of the guys who RP lesbians as women who will chase anything with lady parts).  The list goes on...I have standards. And I bet you have standards too even if you don't want to admit them.

I bet there are people who have trouble with how I type because I write like how I have to write for graphic novel scripts. I miss commas because our style has us remove commas for professional publications (context: I am a graphic novel editor). I RP an asshole Elezen who is difficult to be around. He's not nice to entire groups of people for the sake of not being nice to them, etc. I bet there are plenty of people who aren't open to OOCly committing their time to that kind of RP, and I understand that. 

If you're going to RP, people need to understand that not everyone is going to accept everything everyone puts out there. If someone can't accept that, then they're kind of out of luck. LUCKILY there's a group for just about everything...so if people can't find a group that does what they do then perhaps there is something wrong with what they're doing. 

That's my two cents...

Quick Edit: I've had characters who are outright horrible who I have just had to remove but can RP my other characters much better. THAT is something that exists. But most of the time that's not the case from what I found.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Oli! - 11-18-2015

Not making a statement on the content of the post itself, but isn't it a bit of a judgement to say that the judgements people are making are necessarily malicious?

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Edgar - 11-18-2015

I wholeheartedly agree.

I know that there's always a chance that what we perceive as shit is just that, shit, but for the most part, I give people as much time as possible before I draw any sort of conclusion.

There is nothing wrong with keeping an open mind. There is no reason, or rather, no good reason why you cannot, and you have next-to-nothing to lose in the process of doing so.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Teadrinker - 11-18-2015

(11-18-2015, 05:54 PM)Edgar Wrote: There is nothing wrong with keeping an open mind. There is no reason, or rather, no good reason why you cannot, and you have next-to-nothing to lose in the process of doing so.

My enjoyment of RP and the game has nosedived when I've lowered my standards.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Temmi - 11-18-2015

I have to respectfully disagree with the OP.

As a few others have touched on, I have standards that have to be met in order for me to fully enjoy roleplaying with another.

If someone has very poor sentence structure to the point that their sentences are ambiguous, then that is absolutely an issue for me. If their grammar is poor to the extent that I'm re-re-reading their posts to comprehend, that's also an issue. If they're misspelling frequently, it's a distraction, and once again, that's an issue. For me to enjoy my RP, I have to understand what the other person is trying to convey, and it has to be clean and legible.

If someone is roleplaying something that clashes with my personal views of the world, then the simple act of accepting their character could completely shift my roleplay. I'm not willing to do that.

If I'm typing several full sentences, and receiving a few words in return, I feel disappointed because (typically, there are exceptions!) the onus is being placed on me to continue the scene. I absolutely despise situations where the other is merely responding to what I'm doing, and I'm providing all the content. I want my roleplay to be a collaboration event.

These are my choices, and I don't expect everyone to make the same ones.

What I will agree with is that we should all attempt to respect what others choose.

If someone chooses to roleplay something that I personally don't believe should be roleplayed, then that's their choice! I'm not going to speak down to them as though they've made a wrong choice, but I do have a right to decline to roleplay with them. But I also don't expect them to try and force me to accept their views.

I think there needs to be respect on both sides.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Faye - 11-18-2015

I can sorta understand both sides here. For starters, I wanna say there's a difference between judging someone, as opposed to judging someone then being an asshole about it. Judging someone is normal, we all do it, there's no harm there. Being an asshole unprovoked, though, is something that's really never called for.

Sure, someone with terrible grammer and spelling may actually write a compelling story and have a well thought out character. Sure, maybe that dude breaking every lore rule possible may actually be really fun to RP with. But for some people these things are deal breakers, and even for those who aren't as rigid, time is limited. Why waste it RPing with a person you're unsure about on the off-chance you might end up enjoying it?

I'm someone who'll give anyone a chance, but I can't blame others for not doing the same. For some it's worth the risk of lost time and unpleasant experiences, for others it's not. Neither way is wrong.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Ashe - 11-18-2015

(11-18-2015, 06:08 PM)Faye Wrote: I'm someone who'll give anyone a chance, but I can't blame others for not doing the same. For some it's worth the risk of lost time and unpleasant experiences, for others it's not. Neither way is wrong.

I'm like this too.
I'll RP with anyone who asks, but if I don't like what happens the first few times, I am kind of convinced it won't change.
It's like watching a TV show. You watch a few episodes, decide if you like it or not and if you don't, you don't engage with it. 

If I'm not drawn in the first handful of tries...it's not going to work.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Sig - 11-18-2015

(11-18-2015, 05:51 PM)Ashe Wrote: The list goes on...I have standards. And I bet you have standards too even if you don't want to admit them.

We all gravitate towards roleplay that is consistent with our own style and preferences.  There is nothing wrong about this.  It is unfortunate, however, when a preference or style turns into a "standard," which closes the door to many potentially valuable forms of roleplay and scenes.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - -no longer matters- - 11-18-2015

I will give anyone a chance. As someone who makes stupid typos on a regular basis. (Such as space bar not being pressed even though a swear I did on an occasional words, or "like" becoming "liek", and "the" becoming "teh" etc.) I try to give everyone a chance. 

I make mistakes I'm not perfect and who the hell knows why the mistakes I make even happen. So I'm not judgmental on people who make spelling/typing mistakes. Now if they are RPing "O u r not going 2 stop me." I may have to draw a line in the sand there, because that's just laziness.

As for character concepts I'll literally give almost anything a chance. I mean hell some people think my characters suck. It is what it is, I'm not perfect so it's hard to slam people without giving them a chance.

RE: Why You Should Keep an Open Mind and Not Judge Other Roleplayers in Most Cases - Virella - 11-18-2015

(11-18-2015, 06:25 PM)Sig Wrote:
(11-18-2015, 05:51 PM)Ashe Wrote: The list goes on...I have standards. And I bet you have standards too even if you don't want to admit them.

We all gravitate towards roleplay that is consistent with our own style and preferences.  There is nothing wrong about this.  It is unfortunate, however, when a preference or style turns into a "standard," which closes the door to many potentially valuable forms of roleplay and scenes.
I fear that not every roleplay and scene is worth time and attention though. I totally get what you are aiming at, and I think Faye put it nicely, but there's nothing wrong with having standards. I would roleplay personally with anyone who walked up to me IC, and if they ask me OOC to RP? I would do it as well, just certain people I would never seek out for roleplay. May it be their chars not being interesting, their writing is meh, I don't like what they did with the lore, perhaps the situation and place of said characters meeting isn't ideal ect. There's plenty of reasons of not wanting to roleplay with someone without being a dick about it.

We all play this game for our enjoyment, and eh, who are people to say what you should do, or not do, with that free time? Be as picky as you want, its your 13 euros per month you're paying.