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+--- Thread: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater (/showthread.php?tid=14677)
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - Zoya - 12-21-2015
_Lots_ of stuff, but much of it isn't as much about my characters than RPing in general, so I'm putting those in spoilers.
As for my characters, my biggest worry when playing Zoya is that people do not "understand" me. The combination of thieves cant and accent can be overbearing, so I reduced the prior by a fair bit by now. And after every RP I am "constantly" worried whether I did convey her personality properly. From what little I've heard (I "do" ask for feedback sometimes), that often doesn't seem to be the case, which is NOT comforting at all. The worst however is that this can bring me into consistency issues, should I meet the same person again later and actually "do" convey the personality properly that time around.
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - Aya - 12-21-2015
(12-21-2015, 03:09 PM)Zoya Wrote: As for my characters, my biggest worry when playing Zoya is that people do not "understand" me. The combination of thieves cant and accent can be overbearing, so I reduced the prior by a fair bit by now.Thieves cant? Where can I meet you!!! :-D
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - Coatleque - 12-21-2015
I am very selfish and talk about my character and what she's doing constantly. At the end of the day I worry she's just another cookie-cutter 90's era paladin with very predictable reactions. And perhaps a tad under-powered.
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - Syf - 12-21-2015
(12-21-2015, 01:19 PM)Warren Castille Wrote: Are you trying to play a smooth operator but are unsure if you just come off as an thirsty ERP hunter? Are you playing a bad guy and worry about people mixing OOC and IC and getting a bad impression of the person behind the monitor?
I'm not uncertain about people taking my character and blurring the IC and OOC lines. You don't even have to be roleplaying an evil character for negative traits to be assigned to you OOC. It happens all too often and sometimes I'm surprised at the things that get projected onto my character from roleplay.
The biggest uncertainty that always lingers is the question, "Are these other people having fun?" It's a common thing now to send very unclear communication when it comes to RP enjoyment. The general method of communicating dislike now is either canceling, saying you're busy, or just saying nothing in hopes that the other person will go away. I find it to be so strange to leave a person hanging like that, I guess I prefer honesty over wondering if canceled RP appointments are just coincidence or a message.
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - McBeefâ„¢ - 12-21-2015
My biggest issue is I am bipolar, and due to bouts of anxiety/depression/boredom I often send my character off in different directions.
Evangeline especially is very inconsistent, with her goals and aims changing from one day to the next. I try to write that into the character but I'm not sure how well I do.
As for my alts, I wish it was easier to make them and keep them secret. I like interacting with people who don't know who you are as a player. It makes me far less anxious because if I screw up they don't know who I am. I actually had the most fun RPing when I was just a character name that I could walk away from, its' more stressful now that it's all tied to me as a person.
I guess I should try to make more secret alts.
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - Warren Castille - 12-21-2015
I am quite enjoying the insight so far. Thanks, folks!
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - Leggerless - 12-21-2015
Deciding when to invest time into something versus not investing time into something.
The eternal struggle of figuring out "Is it worth my time?"
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - McBeefâ„¢ - 12-21-2015
(12-21-2015, 03:03 PM)Aya Wrote:(12-21-2015, 02:55 PM)Teadrinker Wrote: People literally feel different about me as a person when I'm on her. Consistently. Guildies, strangers, anybody. I get consistently treated more positively as a person on my other characters.ÂThis is something that I worry about all the time in dealings with other people. Am I being unfair? Is it just the character who is such a jerk? The IC world needs jerks for it to feel immersive, it also needs outright bad guys: but is that bad guy doing it to explore a different angle and enrich the community itself or is he another sociopath? Is it worth the risk of getting to know him better to find out?
We should be thankful for those that do, but it can be so hard to tell. It is helpful sometimes to get that OOC whisper: "I know I am being a jerk but that's just my character". But sometimes you are left never knowing, and in those cases why would you seek that character out for future RP? One of the unfairnesses of life I suppose.
I would assume it is always just the character, unless the person is known for bleeding.
It's a slippery slope otherwise if you project things like lust/anger/evil onto the player behind the character. Makes it hard to RP anything bad outside of scripted situations.
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - Lydia Lightfoot - 12-21-2015
I'd say my biggest insecurity has to do with honesty. I'm a critical thinker, I'm analytical by nature, and I have a hard time reacting to people with only empathy and not evaluation.
Unfortunately, I find that people are dishonest far more often than they're honest, though it usually isn't malicious lying, but rather things like omission, or unnecessary sugar-coating, or things like that. Still, it causes me to feel like people as a whole seem inherently disinclined to just speak their mind, which hinders the capability of others to react and proceed in productive ways.
To cite an example:
Roleplayer X and Roleplayer Y have characters who are involved in some long-term RP. Maybe it's a relationship story, maybe their characters have just been good buddies, maybe they're old comrades in the same FC - the exact nature of the RP doesn't matter. Suffice it to say, there's a solid link in their stories at this point.
Roleplayer X has seemed a little distant. X hasn't been in-game as much, and hasn't been as active on their FC's website, either. When Y asks if X is okay, X just says things are just busy with their RL but everything's okay.
Roleplayer X then announces "officially" that they are going to take a brief break for a few days to focus on RL things and get them resolved, but that they'll be available via their out-of-game communication if anyone needs anything. No closure is offered for their RP, because they're claiming they'll be back in a few days.
For a couple of days, people get responses. Then nothing. A week goes by - more than the stated few days. Two weeks. It becomes greater than two weeks since literally anybody has heard a word from X.
What happened to X? Did the thing with their RL lead to arrest and imprisonment? Hospitalized injury? Death? Does X intend to return at all - should Y come up with some reason, lacking any input from X at all, for why Y is able to just move on from X (because if Y were realistic, given the bond between the characters, Y should be spending months of RP time trying to figure out what happened to X's character, including search parties that are fruitless efforts, and so on).
Does X ever return? How long should Y and the others wait before concluding that X isn't coming back?Â
Meanwhile, the truth here is simple to determine. The truth is that X has either met a fate where X is literally incapable of responding to communication (jail, hospitalized, and death are about the only ones I can think of), or, X just wasn't feeling engaged by the game or the group of people, and has decided to move on with doing other things.Â
Why is that the truth? Because if X actually cares about these people, there's no amount of being busy that would remove the capability of sending out a quick message every few days to touch base. That takes like five minutes. You literally can't be so busy that you can't find five minutes to let people that you consider friends know that you're okay and still coming back. Short of, as mentioned, being jailed, in a hospital, or dead. Even if X's internet was shut off, or X became unexpectedly homeless, libraries still exist (with those weird dead-tree-wafer things on shelves) and have internet access. X also probably has friends and relatives in real life, whom X could ask, "Hey guys, mind if I use your computer/phone for just a sec to let some friends of mine know that I'm alive and okay?"
Honesty. Honesty would save X from having all those positive memories of the player and their RP stories become tainted by the uncertainty of their ultimate fate, both IC and OOC, and the lingering shadow of probable lies. All X would've had to do was tell everyone, "Hey guys, I've had a lot of fun, but I'm starting to feel a little burned out on this, so I'm going to be focusing on some other hobbies/games/characters/whatever for awhile. I may or may not reply to out-of-game communication because if I start to feel like I'm being pressured to return before I'm ready, or if I start to feel like I'm being guilted, I may feel the urge to withdraw altogether. To cover the bases ICly, we'll say my character has decided to embark on a journey alone for awhile, so that you can all continue on with your stories while I'm gone, and that way if I end up not returning at all, at least I know you guys will be okay."
See, that's someone with integrity. That's someone who is an actual friend to the people they've claimed are their friends. I find, unfortunately, that it's very rare. Most often, people string together some implausible excuses as they gradually peter down their time, and then disappear to leave you feeling disappointed and sad that you once again took it to heart when someone said they were your friend and they seem to have not meant it, and at the same time, feeling guilty that you're upset about that, because for all you know they've been hit by a bus, so you're also worried, but then... simultaneously to those three, there's that grim feeling of defeat, because you know you'll probably never find out.
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - Teadrinker - 12-21-2015
(12-21-2015, 03:03 PM)Aya Wrote:(12-21-2015, 02:55 PM)Teadrinker Wrote: People literally feel different about me as a person when I'm on her. Consistently. Guildies, strangers, anybody. I get consistently treated more positively as a person on my other characters.ÂThis is something that I worry about all the time in dealings with other people. Am I being unfair? Is it just the character who is such a jerk? The IC world needs jerks for it to feel immersive, it also needs outright bad guys: but is that bad guy doing it to explore a different angle and enrich the community itself or is he another sociopath? Is it worth the risk of getting to know him better to find out?
We should be thankful for those that do, but it can be so hard to tell. It is helpful sometimes to get that OOC whisper: "I know I am being a jerk but that's just my character". But sometimes you are left never knowing, and in those cases why would you seek that character out for future RP? One of the unfairnesses of life I suppose.
This was a lesson I begrudgingly learned over time. I thought it was a little silly but turned out to be necessary because....well.
The honest truth is no one likes their character to get treated negatively/like an annoyance/brushed off etc.
That just is what it is. Again here, you never see the happy/good characters having to go "Apologies, that's just how she acts!" but...
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - Faye - 12-21-2015
Is "I suck at everything" a valid answer? I worry lately that my writing is stale. I have to do so much "business" RP with leading meetings, hosting events, and sorting out FC members' IC problems, and it's hard to get inspired to be very detailed or dynamic for that sort of RP. Then, when I finally get to some personal, "fun" RP, I'm so tired and burnt out that I still can't muster the inspiration to write anything worthwhile.
I also worry about IC being taken OOC. I see it happen a lot. Faye's not the nicest of people, and she also ocassionally has to punish or reprimand people in the FC, or make decisions that not everyone agrees with. I've seen people flip out OOC over the pettiest, IC shit. Another thing I fret about is how much to reveal. Faye's not honest or forthcoming about a lot of things, but I also don't want to make it seem like I'm trying to deceive players OOC. How much should I write in her journal? Should I hint or even outright state when she's lying or hiding something? I worry about people metagaming, and perhaps with good reason, because I've seen it happen too many times.
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - Stormwind - 12-21-2015
I'm a social angst to the nth degree just as a matter of being, and then you slather on top of that an anti-social grump of a character like Stormwind and I'm left with no idea how to approach people. On top of that, I've completely lost everything resembling a plot because I've been so burned out from work the last six months, I've had no drive to do anything creative. Every time I feel like I want to get back into it, I find myself agonizing over how to start and if it's even worth the effort given my professional life at the moment.
At the end of the day, I'm so scared out of my head about my RP versus others RP and being rejected because of it, I end up doing nothing. I leaned on Dogberry so hard because of my own anxieties. What few people I have formed RP friendships with, I did through him and thinking about that depresses the hell out of me. I've got a great personal story for Storm all lined up for if/when I ever get back to it but I'm to damn scared to pull the trigger.
tl;dr- Social anxiety plus anti-social character divided by lack of time equals one massive emotional and creative mess.
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - MBajihri - 12-21-2015
I'm personally afraid of seeming like I type too little. I get insane writer's block sometimes but enjoy RP'ing, so a lot of my posts are 2-3 lines. I don't want to be seen as 'putting in too little effort'. Also, I'm really bad at paying attention to more than two people at a time. I'm working on it, but I always feel bad if I have to delay responding to someone or somesuch. Definitely wouldn't mind help on either of these.
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - Warren Castille - 12-21-2015
It was touched on earlier, but I am deathly afraid that friends of mine will be consumed by the ever-crunching machinery of hosting a large-scale event. I'm happy to slim down my own roleplay for the sake of trying to present a scene for others to get theirs in, but I can't make that decision for everybody and I'm constantly worried about people feeling like they're supposed to help instead of people choosing to help. It causes me no small amount of angst, as many, many people can confirm.
RE: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater - Teadrinker - 12-21-2015
(12-21-2015, 04:22 PM)Warren Castille Wrote: It was touched on earlier, but I am deathly afraid that friends of mine will be consumed by the ever-crunching machinery of hosting a large-scale event. I'm happy to slim down my own roleplay for the sake of trying to present a scene for others to get theirs in, but I can't make that decision for everybody and I'm constantly worried about people feeling like they're supposed to help instead of people choosing to help. It causes me no small amount of angst, as many, many people can confirm.
If no one's told you (doubtful) then allow me to echo that you've created something pretty damn awesome.
That being said, yeah I can really only imagine the stress it could cause. If I were you I think my greatest concern would be it devouring Warren as a character.