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+--- Thread: Community Full of Cliques (/showthread.php?tid=17938)
Community Full of Cliques - RavieRaptor - 12-18-2016
So I've been trying to find people to RP with for the last year or so, and most of these times I've been ignored or not acknowledged at all.
I wanted to basically point out the Gold and Glory Gala last night, I came on three different characters and tried to approach people, but only got ignored. Everyone and their cliques were in the corners keeping amongst themselves.
I was there for an hour, not one acknowledgement. This is messed up. How are we supposed to make friends if we get ignored the whole time? Or maybe it's just me and how I must be a terrible person.
Everyone says "Approach people, that's how you'll get RP" Well apparently not.
I've been rping and playing the game for over 3 years now. People need to grow up.
./endrant.
RE: Community Full of Cliques - Bishido - 12-18-2016
I think we’ve all had similar experiences and it’s admittedly disheartening and discouraging, and while it’s easier said than done, try to keep your chin up. Over the last couple of weeks (or months maybe, time usually escapes my notice) I’ve contacted a few people here on RPC only to be blatantly ignored or brushed off. While everyone’s entitled to writing and socializing as they see fit, I do agree that going to a public event to shoal up in a corner with your immediate circle is... kinda silly. Especially if the RP they’re conducting is publically, which naturally invites others to join in.
Either way I’m sorry that you had a rough night at the Gala, but don’t let it keep you from trying again. Not everyone will turn you aside and to be honest anyone who does wasn’t someone you wanted to associate with anyway. Now, in their defense, it’s always possible they missed your post—but that’s playing the devil’s advocate and something I’m not really fond of doing, anyway. Three different people/groups missing your post and attempt to jump into their RP just says otherwise.
Things will look up if you keep at it! And while this won’t remedy the situation, you and I could always try to discuss some potential RP together and see if we could work things out between schedules, characters, etc. Either way I do wish you the best of luck!
RE: Community Full of Cliques - Caspar - 12-18-2016
I know it's frustrating but without knowing anything about your approach or the people you spoke to, or even how long you waited for a response, I can't give much useful advice.
It sucks to be overlooked. I try not to do it but in a crowded place it's all too easy to forget someone. Because of that I sometimes avoid crowded events if I feel others are already very busy.
Oh but there are cliques though.
RE: Community Full of Cliques - Virella - 12-18-2016
Reposting this. Again.
People don’t owe you jack shit. If you can’t find roleplay, it is your own damn mistake. If you don’t have the social skills to pull of such characters, just don’t roleplay said character. Find a more suitable character concept fitting with your real life skill set. If you can’t pull off the “Insert random character trope in hereâ€, guess what? Don’t roleplay it. You will be all the happier for it.
But ultimately? Get your whiny entitled ass out there and make your character interesting to interact with.
Now for you in specific.
Next to that. At a large event? Interactions? For crying out loud, I was roleplaying in a Linkshell due to the spam. Lots of people were doing the same. The spam was ungodly to keep up with, and its about the only thing you can do keep things readable. Things get lost in the chat at such large events.
Make an add on the RPC, make a post on Tumblr, go poke people in game who look interesting for roleplay. Hells, use those events to whisper people like "Can we RP at some later date, your character looks nice!" and add them to your friendlist.
Don't blame others for your lack of roleplay. Get your big girl pants on and have a good hard look at yourself.
Next to that? Cliques are never an issue. Cliques are a natural thing. They grow smaller and bigger over time, disband and get remade. Because ultimately those 'cliques' are likely just to be OOC friends you can be a part of as well if you actually did some effort. Your lack of roleplay or friendships in this game is solely to blame on yourself.
RE: Community Full of Cliques - Thunderbolt300 - 12-18-2016
My suggestion here is pretty straightforward. This community is positively massive- you have a lot of options to reaching out and networking. Even different events have different mini-communities built up around them, so a poor experience at one event may fly in the face of a great experience at a totally different one. If the well is dry in one area, move to another and try there instead!Â
Making character connections is honestly a full-time job as much as RP'ing is- you just have to keep trying, not lose hope about it, be patient, and over time you'll make the connections you want. Don't give up!
RE: Community Full of Cliques - Enla - 12-18-2016
I will say that they might just not have seen it. My FC and I all went into an LS we had set up after twenty minutes of trying to combat the chat scroll - and I for one turned say off entirely because it was giving me a headache. I doubt I'm the only person who did this either. I'm sorry you felt ignored but given the circumstances of the Gala last night you might not actually have been. Even when I don't turn off say at these events the chat scroll is so bad that I have to use coping mechanisms to even pay attention to the people around me., So I focus on three names and have to ask everyone else to poke me when they post. It's not ideal but I know people who are legitimately only looking for one or TWO names and can't handle anyone rocking up on top of that.
RE: Community Full of Cliques - Gray - 12-18-2016
One of the reasons I stopped going to events. I have not actually gone to an event and tried to initiate rp in years because this, among other things, is the norm. Now, I work from the shadows, gathering information on who to bother even trying to contact, and I make a move once I'm reasonabily satisfied it's worth pursuing, be it a FC, linkshell, or just a connection. It's the only way I've been able to survive as an rper this long. It sucks, but it's what I've felt I had to do to continue.
The problem gets compounded because the small amount of competent roleplayers (that's roleplayers, not storytellers. There's a difference) around tend to be jaded by the sort of thing you encountered, and it becomes even harder for those who do venture out to find anything.
RE: Community Full of Cliques - Leggerless - 12-18-2016
Instead of trying to reach every single person with a shotgun, consider the single target approach of PMing one person at a time with the sniper rifle.
Also. You attempted RP at an event where most people will relegate say to another chat window and/or turn it off entirely due to the potential spam. That's why you have to use other chat mediums (Hello PMs) because then they can get your message.
(This message brought to you by someone who did Grindstone playing/management more than a few times)
RE: Community Full of Cliques - Kilieit - 12-18-2016
People not responding to you at a big event is, in my experience, always because they didn't see your emote.
Either because it scrolled off their screen too quickly, because they have /say muted as those above described, or because they're mentally tracking the chatlog for the names of the people they're talking to and anything from anyone else is being discarded by their subconscious as not relevant.
This game doesn't have speech bubbles. It's impossible to tell if someone saying "excuse me, do you know where the buffet is" is stood next to you or stood 50 feet away - not without like 10 seconds of panning the camera around looking for their nameplate (and maybe not even seeing it if you have a cap set on character model loading!). If the chatscroll is bad, that means 10 seconds of sacrificing watching the chatlog for names... and almost certainly missing an emote from someone you were already having a conversation with, meaning that conversation will grind to a halt. I think most people will assume you're talking to someone else just for the sake of their own sanity.
People not responding to you at a huge event =! cliques are ruining the community. It's like if you're at a loud, crowded party, you say "hello" to people, and they don't respond - you're assuming it's because they deliberately ignored you, whereas the chances are 99% that they just didn't hear you and weren't aware you were trying to catch their attention to start with.
Try a whisper (like a tap on the shoulder, since for most people it makes an actual noise). If they still don't respond, assume they're busy, not that they've made a conscious choice to ignore you.
If you start assuming the worst of your fellow RPers, you're digging yourself a pit that's incredibly difficult to climb out of again - and that few people will want to join you in.
RE: Community Full of Cliques - ExAtomos - 12-18-2016
There were like sixty people all typing in /say at once at the Gala; like everyone else has said, your walk up message is going to be missed unless you send a tell. Hell, unless you were emoting in my face, I'd miss any /say directed at me. Try a smaller tavern event like Coeurl's Whisker instead. Strike up a conversation with others who sit with you. Also check people's search info for something like "walk ups welcome", not everyone has the courage to talk to randoms at events.
RE: Community Full of Cliques - RavieRaptor - 12-18-2016
(12-18-2016, 03:37 PM)Virella Wrote: Reposting this. Again.See, unlike you, I actually have to approach people to let them know I exist. I've made all different types of characters over 20+, just trying to get people to notice me and accept me into their rp groups. I probably have spent over 100 dollars on fantasias and name changes alone. It's always different reasons: If you play a miqo'te you're a slut, if you play an Au Ra you're weeb trash. If you play an lalafell, you're not taken seriously. If you play a midlander, you're boring and unoriginal. These are the many conflicts I have that I've heard from others when I make my characters. I can't find that niche.
People don’t owe you jack shit. If you can’t find roleplay, it is your own damn mistake. If you don’t have the social skills to pull of such characters, just don’t roleplay said character. Find a more suitable character concept fitting with your real life skill set. If you can’t pull off the “Insert random character trope in hereâ€, guess what? Don’t roleplay it. You will be all the happier for it.
But ultimately? Get your whiny entitled ass out there and make your character interesting to interact with.
Now for you in specific.
Next to that. At a large event? Interactions? For crying out loud, Â I was roleplaying in a Linkshell due to the spam. Lots of people were doing the same. The spam was ungodly to keep up with, and its about the only thing you can do keep things readable. Things get lost in the chat at such large events.
Make an add on the RPC, make a post on Tumblr, go poke people in game who look interesting for roleplay. Hells, use those events to whisper people like "Can we RP at some later date, your character looks nice!" and add them to your friendlist.
Don't blame others for your lack of roleplay. Get your big girl pants on and have a good hard look at yourself.
Next to that? Cliques are never an issue. Cliques are a natural thing. They grow smaller and bigger over time, disband and get remade. Because ultimately those 'cliques' are likely just to be OOC friends you can be a part of as well if you actually did some effort. Your lack of roleplay or friendships in this game is solely to blame on yourself.
RE: Community Full of Cliques - Kilieit - 12-18-2016
Like... aight... lemme sit down and actually talk about this.
From what you describe, I think you're having a few problems with:
- assuming "it feels bad (to not get responded to), therefore it must be bad (I must be doing something wrong, or people must hate me/my character)".
- assuming complex reasoning ("there must be something wrong with my character", "they must have decided not to talk to anyone outside their clique") behind coincidental circumstances (not being responded to) without evidence to support that reasoning.
- assuming that because something has been a certain way in the past (people not reaching out to you for RP) that it will continue to be that way until something changes drastically, and therefore that as soon as something looks not-amazing (people not responding at a big event) that it means it's going to be this way forever
Unfortunately, the solution to these assumptions lies not in other people, but in your own mind.
To be completely blunt, it's unfair to expect people - strangers especially - to cater to these assumptions. They don't know you, they have no investment in you as a person, and they have no reason to go out of their way to combat the negative paradigm you've come up with.
Like - if you start trying to RP with someone, and as soon as you talk to them OOCly they start going on about how terrible the RP community is and how much trouble they've had and how it must be because everyone's cliquey but you're not like that, it puts immense pressure on you right off the bat! You know as soon as you're ill or tired, they're going to take that as a personal slight. It's exhausting, and it's more than most people can be reasonably expected to do.
You need to have confidence in yourself, and in other people.
You need to have confidence that the character you're playing is solid, and maybe they're not everyone's cup of tea, but you're proud of it and that's what matters. You need to have confidence that if someone else doesn't like the character, that's their choice, and not something that reflects on the quality of your stuff.
You need to have confidence that most people, most of the time, aren't malicious towards strangers; and that most people, most of the time, are fairly happy to meet new people. If they aren't, it's not due to something wrong with you or some huge community-wide malaise, but due to individual circumstances - they're sick IRL, they're distracted by their kids/pets/etc, they're tired after a long day at work, they're having the same anxieties as you.
RE: Community Full of Cliques - Valence - 12-18-2016
Don't go to public events to make RP contacts.
RE: Community Full of Cliques - Seye Qhesu - 12-18-2016
The Gala in truth is a horrible example due to the combat scroll. I had to ask for reposts from people quite often because I missed it. Smaller events or just basic out in the world RP would be best to try and make contacts. That said, I often slide out in to the world IC so if you ever run in to me I would be happy to rp with you. Hell, we can set up a meeting if need be. There are also smaller events that you can go to (D20 holds a tavern night every other Friday which we end up having the same people come and RP due to how simple and /non chat scrolly/ it can get. You are more then welcomed to come along. It is opened to all afterall!
Another thing; Play what the hell you want to play! Don't worry about sterotypes. Plenty of people play Miqo'te that aren't sluts, Au Ra that aren't Weebs, Roe and Highlander females that aren't Futas. Play what you feel comfortable with and what you have fun doing.
RE: Community Full of Cliques - Leggerless - 12-18-2016
...You know. This thread needs an explanation of the "Push and Pull" methodology for connections. But not a textbook example. Something special.
Heavy Disclaimer: This is after you settled on a character you want to RP with.
Now, let me be like the RP world's Saitama. Alright? Cool.
100 WALKUPS! 100 PMs! 100 CONNECTIONS! THEN WRITE 10 THOUSAND WORDS!
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!
And of course make sure you say hello each day. Just a quick "Good morning" is fine. But the most important thing is to never use the P/F and spam during the private and public RP seasons so that you can strengthen your resolve.
In the beginning you'll wish you were dead. You might start thinking "What's the harm in taking a day off?" But for you, in order to be a strong roleplayer, no matter how tough it was, even if you start sleeping at your desk, you never stop.
You keep making connections even when your arms are so heavy they refuse to type. Even when your arms start making weird clicking noises, you keep doing walkups.
A year and a half later, you start to notice a difference. You are jaded. And you have become popular!
In other words, you gotta RP like hell to the point where you started becoming jaded.
That's the only way to become popular.
The roleplayers that are fooling around at the Quicksand and wallflower junk will never make it this far. Roleplayers are strong because we have the ability to change ourselves.