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[Discussion] Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Printable Version

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Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Mermaid - 10-04-2017 09:20 AM

I feel like this must have been discussed here before but I wasn't able to find an existing thread. Sorry if I've unwittingly created a thread on a commonly discussed topic!

What are some red flags for you when it comes to role play you're involved in or people you're role playing with? Things that make you think things like "maybe I shouldn't RP with this person" or "maybe this scene isn't for me". How do you deal with it?

I feel like I should be offering my own opinions and experiences to start this thread off but, as with most topics like this, some experiences are as recent as the past month or two and I worry about people involved finding these forums.


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Gegenji - 10-04-2017 09:38 AM

It's definitely a... touchy topic. Since you could be very easily describing things you've had people do and - if they're savvy enough to recognize it - there could be a lot of hurt feelings.

To try and throw a general, vague one out there... I'd say be wary of characters/players who get clingy a little too fast (though I suppose being clingy at all is probably a bad thing)? This is mostly for relationship RP, and from what I've seen and heard more than any personal experience.

Like, the characters who are absolutely smitten with your character from the get-go or after a single date, moving right into that WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER scenario. Obviously, if you planned out them potentially doing the whole "love at first sight" thing, then it's not so bad. But when a single, random date has them attached to the hip with you... it can be problematic.

It also can get a lot worse if they start seeing the RP partner thing as exclusionary (though this can be its own issue, I bet). As in, every RP you do has to include them somehow or they start getting upset and fussy if you're RPing with others without them. That sort of clinginess and possessiveness, if caught early, is probably a pretty solid red flag that this person may not be someone to RP with...


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Mermaid - 10-04-2017 09:57 AM

(10-04-2017 09:38 AM)Gegenji Wrote:  It's definitely a... touchy topic. Since you could be very easily describing things you've had people do and - if they're savvy enough to recognize it - there could be a lot of hurt feelings.

Yes, I'm very worried about that myself. Dazed

I guess there is one experience I can share without even needing to generalize it. It happened so long ago I'm no longer in touch with the person.

A friend started playing a tabletop RPG adventure path I had played a bit of. They would tell me their experiences and show me art they drew of their character. As soon I started talking about my experiences with the adventure path, however, they would suddenly seem to lose interest in the conversation. Are we not having a discussion? Was I just supposed to say your art was nice? It made me feel like they might be the kind of person to make the game all about them.


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Gegenji - 10-04-2017 10:07 AM

Ah, that's another pretty solid general one. Folks who seem to just like to focus on their character. Where the RP is very obviously just the "Me (and Maybe Friends) Show."

There's a bunch of different flavors of it too:
  • People who like to be super-dramatic about their character to actively draw attention to themselves from whatever else is going on,
  • People who try to portray their character as basically the best at everything, so they can "solve" every situation, and
  • People who actively belittle and posture their character as just being better than everyone else and all the others are not worth their time/effort.

The latter one is a bit of a greyer subject, though, oddly enough. Since that could be very much just a facet of a character's personality. But if it looks like that it's also the player rather than just a bit of the character... or that's all the character is... then that might be something to be wary of.


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Syranelle Ironleaf - 10-04-2017 10:38 AM

Beware of anyone who has no respect for your time.  

If you arrange to do something with them, be it RP or PVE, and they constantly flake out -- then that should be a red flag that they aren't interested in whatever you're offering.

(Disclaimer: Some folks (like me) have extenuating Life Circumstances, but people with those kinds of stipulations should always be up-front about them before getting too involved with other people.)

This also, however, extends to people who connive you into staying longer than you plan to.  I get that RP is fun and sometimes you don't want a scene to end, but if you say, "I need to be in bed by 11pm because I have work tomorrow," a good RP partner should always respect that.  Real Life should always come first and foremost.  If you volunteer yourself to stay longer without badgering from your potential partner, then that's on you, but you shouldn't be coerced into it.

Beware of anyone who has no respect for your boundaries.

No matter the boundary, be it your preferences in RP, subjects you don't want to discuss IC or OOC, or even time away from the PC/game -- a good RP partner should respect your boundaries.  If they get upset over any barriers you've set, that should pretty much tell you everything you need to know about them.


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Nebbs - 10-04-2017 11:49 AM

My list... Basically not RPing
  • Going afk all the time
  • Using RP as filler
  • Being ooc 
  • Talking ooc too much
  • Wanting me to do all the work
  • Having no dimensions to your char
Then there are RL OOC reasons
  • Bigots
  • Judgemental
  • Intolorent
That should do as a start Smile


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - ExAtomos - 10-04-2017 12:03 PM

A lot of these are just bad RP. One I'll add is including what your character feels/does/says in their emotes. This is closely related to not giving you a choice on what you do/say or how you can react, which I think someone already mentioned.

A straight up red flag (one I've had to deal with myself) is someone telling you you look good only when it suits their preferences and giving you shit until you change back if you change to something they don't like.

Another is being rude, critical, or abusive in RP and trying to cover it with "Oh, it's just my character's personality".


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Warren Castille - 10-04-2017 02:25 PM

I'm wary of anyone who tags themselves as a ParaRPer. It's nothing against the type, but my experience have taught me that I can safely AFK for 12+ minutes between posts and then return to a thesaurus' worth of alternate words used to describe things readily visible on their character.

As a minor tangent: Usage of "orbs" "hues" and "spheres" when referring to your eyes. Just stop.


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - SapphireSkylines - 10-04-2017 02:35 PM

(10-04-2017 02:25 PM)Warren Castille Wrote:  I'm wary of anyone who tags themselves as a ParaRPer. It's nothing against the type, but my experience have taught me that I can safely AFK for 12+ minutes between posts and then return to a thesaurus' worth of alternate words used to describe things readily visible on their character.

As a minor tangent: Usage of "orbs" "hues" and "spheres" when referring to your eyes. Just stop.

I don't have anything against paragraph roleplayers, but in my experience the people who are, are usually the ones who are very picky about how their roleplay is. What kind of skill level your RP partner is at, how the RP plays out, the style of the RP partner's writing and I usually want to steer clear of that, especially since I see roleplay as just a fun thing to do and would prefer RP partners to be more casual and laid back.


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Lydia Lightfoot - 10-04-2017 02:41 PM

(10-04-2017 02:25 PM)Warren Castille Wrote:  As a minor tangent: Usage of "orbs" "hues" and "spheres" when referring to your eyes. Just stop.

This one is a huge point, in my opinion. While it's good to flex vocabulary a little, there's not a lot to be gained by "evasive language". My experience with players who go especially purple with their prose is that they're not as interested in storytelling (or story-participating) as they are in trying to feel superior to others (or inversely, cause others to feel inferior) as a power complex by way of attempting to demonstrate how superior they are at writing. Might not be true of everyone, I just speak from my own experience with people like that.


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Drunk Cat - 10-04-2017 02:42 PM

(10-04-2017 02:25 PM)Warren Castille Wrote:  -snip-

As a minor tangent: Usage of "orbs" "hues" and "spheres" when referring to your eyes. Just stop.
What about "optics"? xp

One that's a flag for me is someone who wants to rp fight without using random the first time you fight them, or met them even.   I'm not saying rp fighting without rolls is bad.  I do it all the time, but with people I have rped with before.   I had alot of bad rp fights way back when I started with people who didn't like to roll, nor understood what a good fight should be.  Many a brawl was spent having all of my attacks somehow miss. this would go on until I had my character lose so I could go do something fun.


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Warren Castille - 10-04-2017 02:42 PM

(10-04-2017 02:41 PM)Lydia Lightfoot Wrote:  
(10-04-2017 02:25 PM)Warren Castille Wrote:  As a minor tangent: Usage of "orbs" "hues" and "spheres" when referring to your eyes. Just stop.

This one is a huge point, in my opinion. While it's good to flex vocabulary a little, there's not a lot to be gained by "evasive language". My experience with players who go especially purple with their prose is that they're not as interested in storytelling (or story-participating) as they are in trying to feel superior to others (or inversely, cause others to feel inferior) as a power complex by way of attempting to demonstrate how superior they are at writing. Might not be true of everyone, I just speak from my own experience with people like that.

Word. These are the people who fancy themselves as authors yet never write anything.

Not all ParaRPers, naturally. It's just the actively shitty ones that spoil the tag for everyone else.


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Drunk Cat - 10-04-2017 02:47 PM

(10-04-2017 02:42 PM)Warren Castille Wrote:  
(10-04-2017 02:41 PM)Lydia Lightfoot Wrote:  
(10-04-2017 02:25 PM)Warren Castille Wrote:  As a minor tangent: Usage of "orbs" "hues" and "spheres" when referring to your eyes. Just stop.

This one is a huge point, in my opinion. While it's good to flex vocabulary a little, there's not a lot to be gained by "evasive language". My experience with players who go especially purple with their prose is that they're not as interested in storytelling (or story-participating) as they are in trying to feel superior to others (or inversely, cause others to feel inferior) as a power complex by way of attempting to demonstrate how superior they are at writing. Might not be true of everyone, I just speak from my own experience with people like that.

Word. These are the people who fancy themselves as authors yet never write anything.

Not all ParaRPers, naturally. It's just the actively shitty ones that spoil the tag for everyone else.

Yeah, those dirty para-rpers like Roen! Who needs them and their well written plots and well constructed sentences and clever use of adjectives and...

NOTICE ME SENPAI!!!!!

Seriously though I know what you're talking about Warren XD Nothing grinds a scene like 30 minutes between posts)


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Warren Castille - 10-04-2017 02:50 PM

(10-04-2017 02:47 PM)Drunk Cat Wrote:  Yeah, those dirty para-rpers like Roen! Who needs them and their well written plots and well constructed sentences and clever use of adjectives and...

These are all the reasons I like paragraph roleplay. A lot of too-important folks use it to try and prop themselves up as elite, and that sucks.

We're all writing fan fiction, people. None of us are better than anyone else!


RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - ExAtomos - 10-04-2017 02:55 PM

(10-04-2017 02:41 PM)Lydia Lightfoot Wrote:  
(10-04-2017 02:25 PM)Warren Castille Wrote:  As a minor tangent: Usage of "orbs" "hues" and "spheres" when referring to your eyes. Just stop.

This one is a huge point, in my opinion. While it's good to flex vocabulary a little, there's not a lot to be gained by "evasive language". My experience with players who go especially purple with their prose is that they're not as interested in storytelling (or story-participating) as they are in trying to feel superior to others (or inversely, cause others to feel inferior) as a power complex by way of attempting to demonstrate how superior they are at writing. Might not be true of everyone, I just speak from my own experience with people like that.

Sometimes I wonder if it's cause folks are deathly afraid of repeating words, sounding too basic/illiterate, or struggle conveying what their character looks/moves like if it something that isn't obvious with the limited character designer. I think it's more a sign of being a poor writer than just going with simplicity. (lol! why'd i get the angry face smiley? xDDD )

But I do wonder why folks who paraRP often have a strict requirement that their rp partner also does it... Anyone can enlighten me?