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Dear Cici - Letters to a Knight - Printable Version

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RE: Dear Cici - Letters to a Knight - Jancis - 03-14-2016

[[Letter sent with merchants heading to Foundation, then sent back by courier Return to Sender]]

Dear Cici,

Thaliak only knows why I have not tried to write you more often. Suppose not seeing you and having my letter bounce back I lost myself in the patrol around this Isle and no other outside work.

The winter outside of singing has been a haze. I do not know where you are. I do not know what you are doing. I do not know who you are with. Part of me is not even sure you are alive. The fact that there are few rumors abound make me all the more worried.

Still I must carry on, as one should not hide under a rotting log for warmth.

I have not been further north. There have been some shows with Master Telluride and Lady Ciel. Each moon they have gathered people to sing and still ask me to do something honorary. It is beyond me! I enjoy it so much, not that I can compare to those true bards and their own lyrics. I am not sure what to make out of how they continue to thank me because I only come upon the day and they trust me. Did you know how much he can drink? I know not where he is from, but he could probably drink a Sea Wolf under the table without stuttering once. Lady Ciel I have never seen drink myself. Her husband stays near, though, he is easy to spot in a crowd for his demeanor. The past show he was hovering about the staircase, only to come down when she was singing. I cannot blame him, I think everyone came down the stairs. Were she a monster in a story, she would be a siren and all the sailors would find their fates upon her song. I jest! She does not actually temper people.

Sir Gegenji also goes to the shows. He helped with the last one. You should have seen him! He had green paint on his face and he doned a hooded cowl then wattled around the stage like a tonberry! He was chasing Lady Aya about as she sang and told the cutest love story. It is nice to see her sing and perform once more; I did not get the chance to show you the amazing gift she gave me. Would I could describe it with words.
I think Sir Gegenji really cares about Lady Aya. We were enjoying fortunes the other moon and he got really flustered when I brought her up. Our fortune was full of love based on the cards and he wished for Sir Armsbreaker to go with me (though I am unsure he would tolerate it well). It is hard to realize how much I have come to rely on this smith; I know he is not much of a Free Paladin overall, but he has a lot of heart. His hopes and morals are very high. So far no one else has been hurt by the mercy that fills his heart; Thaliak willing that shall not change.

I offered to help him spar. He has been training with Berry which I found surprising. Berry might give him a very profound lesson on life; the spars that use to happen in the Agents I still remember their brutality. Yielding is not an option and I know Chachanji will offer it.

Lady Leanne is another to hold up our agreement to spar. I saw her briefly at the Grindstone, but failed to approach her with all the work and keeping on my toes at Lord Judge's booming voice. That is his name, I think. She seems happy, I only see her on happy occassions so whatever troubles she has I miss. She sang a song that was discontent and angry at love. Mad at love, and the emotion hit me hard. Something we share knowing such pains.
Menphina willing, the one pain you bear will be all you endure.

Sir Armsbreaker I do not burden with past scars given by other men. Even so, he would just kiss them and shrug probably. He has many past pains that I am coming to know of. The people of Little Ala Mhigo despise him and have little good to say; only a few elderly (and clearly wisest) there speak of him with any positivity.
No kisses will make them better. My curiosity is too much and I want to know about his youth and homeland. About his brother. Asking others, it is better to not press the matter right now. Something bigger is afoot; something harmful. I need to focus my attention on that alone and stop giving into these distractions. They are not giving me leads; and others have been killed as a result.

Iskierka said to destroy them all; her advice is always so clear and wise. Like Thaliak it is deep and simple. I simply have to find them first.

Lady Carina and Master Ilwe'ran push me to pursue a family, as they did. Their family is quite lovely and better than a story; reminds me why I push so hard to continue and give everyone the opportunity to, at least, consider the same. They have asked me to help with a family celebration for them and their kin. I must need go to them again, our time together is brief because of the distance.

It would be nice if you were able to come. You are my family, Cici. I hope this finds you. Or someone who knows where you are.

Please come back,

Jancis


RE: Dear Cici - Letters to a Knight - Jancis - 03-21-2016

[[Letter sent with merchants heading to Foundation, then sent back by courier Return to Sender]]

Dear Cici,

Sir Gegenji said he would ask about you with his association. Much as I do want him to hear something, I would be foolish to give that too much hope. I put it into that you are working hard. You are doing what must be done. You will return soon.

I saw Lord J'azhar and Lord Aiouxdaux. Truthfully I find them quite the pair to adore; each always reacts so profoundly to one another while also easing both of their emotions. They are playful. Even the other eve they were growing crystals. J'azhar spoke about some alchemy things that made a reaction for a green crystal style. It is a sad reason, though, as their kit to build them was smashed.

It did not look like it fell from a breeze or accident, less something fell on top of it. Nor was there any blood. You would have been able to discern what happened; you are wise like that. What concerned me the most was J'azhar decided he had done it and simply forgot. It is unusual thing to forget; more importantly it is more unusual to forget about forgetting! It is hard to help someone that just brushs it off, especially from Aiouxdaux who is a skilled healer and reliable.

Mayhaps I can find some green stones to make up for the loss; they were suppose to be a gift for someone.

Speaking of gifts, I did give one to Barengar. In a way, more of a favor he did for me that I thought would be good for him. I found a nest, very early and before season, with little eggs within. Blue. Thaliak only knows how this little one survived, but I decided to try. We watched the little one hatch and pull its pink body from the shards.
To my surprise, he did not bothered to take care of the bird, he watched intently as I started, then after just took the hatchling along.

He never looked tired or put out by his charge. The last I saw the bird was fully feathered, eager to fly. A independent heart, though I hope such a heart does not burst with trying to do everything alone. Or keep up with a man. He has named her Ishilde, for her strength through the cold. It is suitable. Makes me really happy when I think of it.

It might be possible to help, I can rig up a treat or a sail that will mimic what to do. it is a little early to pick up from other birds. 

I got called to help this week out in Gridania, the Beds. Sir Gegenji and his friend Lady Tiroro got burnt by some mage. I know not who; at the time it was not important. The worst of it was they were at the Harbingers and refused to treat them. Rhalgar's Rage, I could not believe it. I ran there. 

Lady Tiroro is nice at heart, but her mannerism and protocol is very ordering. She does not hear or relent to anyone, even with her back badly burnt. So stubborn was she about the minor burn on Sir Gegenji's shoulder that I could not even turn her to get a better look at the damage to her back. This incident is not the first time we have disagreed; I doubt it will be the last. For as much as she wishes to deny her station among the houses of the Jewel, her countenance remains and she lacks for nothing. Raised to be a leader, most likely, though her choices on when to follow are lacking. Why did she not demand treatment?

Two of the support branch came out during this time-consuming talk, ready to fill out paperwork while the wounds only sat unattended. I lashed out with my words. Thaliak drown all papers for being put beforehand; they are there to assist not hinder. Wisdom was shunned that day for staring blankly at paper and worry over getting in trouble. Be lectured. Be reprimanded. They were kind and heard my words, but I was given apologizes and pleasantries instead of action being taken. I finally gave Sir Gegenji an ice pack for the lady's back and ushered them all back to the infirmary.

Perhaps fireballs are a daily occurance now. I can ask Val, we are to visit and talk in the next couple suns. I have not seen in him so long. But those fireballs might be something because his hair is different. Maybe some of it got burned away, one side is much shorter than the other.

If you return. I am in Gridania for the time. Daresay fatigue has caught up with me. The Grindstone the other eve was long and grueling. So many fighters come now. It is quite the sight to see, truly. I think after all this time you would enjoy it once again. It is home, no? But after that was Lady Ciel and Master Telluride hosting another show. There were songs of fortune; many different sides to it. I sang about serendipity, the work and efforts we put in are for a hopeful future, not just preparation for fear.

You should hope for the future, too. Our future. It has bright promise and I will not let that chance go. Not while my hands can still hold.

Please come home soon,

Jancis


RE: Dear Cici - Letters to a Knight - Jancis - 04-07-2016

[[Another letter sent to the key camps in Coerthas, but with a note that she might not be found. The letter returns to the Mist after a fortnight.]]

Dear Cici,

I want to apologize because my feelings waffle between confidence of seeing you again and not. It is like a blade to be delicate with. If I am too ginger, it slips. If I am too stern, it cuts. I know you will return. I simply must have patience and not get too hopeful as to when.

Sir Gegenji said he would ask about you with the Sworn. I have not the heart to ask. He had his own issues the past fortnight.

Have you ever wanted to look different? I do not mean the disguises you take on from time to time to help people. I mean not yourself. To become a new person entirely.

I doubt Chachanji wanted to change everything, but that is what his actions made me think of. Some easy answer to a small bother. He told me he felt short, treated like a child, unable to do the things he wished. I have not asked him who he was comparing that to, or who called him too young. He did purchase some kind of miracle concoction and it clearly did not give him what he wished for.

Or maybe it has. The hardship it has caused surely has helped him grow in new ways and during the ordeal it gave him a lot of time to think and sort out his thoughts. As long as he ceases to get upset at every little problem; it only made things worse. I have so many bruises from his fussing and scares. That is on top of my broken nose and sliced up arm. And the piles of reagents and other chemicals; Thaliak only knows what I poured out into the sand.

Looking back, that was not the best choice I could have made. Though, at the time it was better than those corrupted alchemists getting them. Us of the Spoken must needs rise above these fears and be trustworthy.

I think I will called him Chachanji from now on; it seems more appropriate now. I have seen the man behind the knight and smith, and I saw fear faced.

I do not want you to face your fear alone, either. If you need me I will come. Just say it.

Waiting,

Jancis


RE: Dear Cici - Letters to a Knight - Jancis - 04-20-2016

[[Sent up to Camp Dragonhead but it is never received.]]

Dear Cici,

I got word there was a fish shipment going north to the Forgotten Knight. Hopefully you can partake in some of it.

My wounds have healed and the toxins have been purged. Lady Cliodhna and Master Telluride were as gracious in their own home as they are for songs and drinks. Have you ever had a Yellow Dragon? They are quite tasty; not sure why it is called that. If only all dragons were as sweet. Like in those books.

I have a new task. Inadvertently I am now assisting the Alchemist's Guild. One of their kin Lord Nathaniel followed up with me after the accident and confrontation. His elixir was not easy to stomach. The dreams were profound and caused so much emotion, I would awake even in an exhausted state.

And so profound. My thoughts wandered to people I know, even you, to such extremes. I want to apologize for it, but should I? Ideas went from anger to desire. Pictures stuck in my mind of what one person would be like if things were different with such vivid detail. Please know my feelings for you are unchanged and I have decided that it was the illusion during illness that caused it.

Thaliak would be sad if I rambled about nonsense visions of untruths and make people think of fake knowledge. I will not bring up the topic.

Lord Nathaniel did in a way. I wished to not waste his time and did not go into the description, nor did I think he meant the fevered dreams. What I dream of. His skill as a priest is well practiced; he looks at me as if I am a book. Do people commonly call others 'love' and 'dear'? Some of the waitresses at the tavern do, or bards. Daresay it is better than what most priests say; I am no child.

He shared some of his own thoughts, too. His displeasure with the Shroud and Conjurers was strong. I am not sure why, when I tried to determine it, I was mistaken. 
Curious why or how so many people dislike the Elementals. Then again I have not been hampered by their wishes. They are old, with old scars, and learning more about them it is clear to see their pain, the failures of the past, and the responsibility.
I wonder if they would be pleased by the displeasure. People that use their thought and experience and share it would be better than blindly following. Any culture could pertain to that.

I feel oddly fortunate to be untied by an ancestry. My rivals are not chosen for me. My biased is from my own observations and not from another generation's experiences. 

I will sleep under the stars tonight. Spring onions and dandelions are in bloom and plentiful to pick. I hope some of that makes it your way with that fish.

Waiting,

Jancis


RE: Dear Cici - Letters to a Knight - Jancis - 05-18-2016

[[Kept in Jancis' Satchel]]

Dear Cici,

I am glad this lamp is not waking you up, grateful to have this room with extra beds so you are right here within view.

Twelve, you are here. Writing is my only outlet to the desire I feel to hug and share. Simply talk. Not going to give this letter to you just yet, forgive me, until you remember who I am beyond the polite trusting smile. It gives me something to do while I wait to see if you talk in your sleep. If there is some potent memory that dreams might release.

Would Lady Deneith able to tell me more before arriving, I could have tried to prepare. Not sure what to do beyond not pelt you with emotions and demand what you should know; there has already been some of those blunders. She must struggle the same with how polite she acted; dare say it was more tentative as if the woman was not as close as I recall you telling me.

Hope she does not feel like she is losing another person in her life; she has endured so much I would not have her outlook bleak and broken. We will recover your memories, Cici, and even if you are not the same person as moons before that is all right. Rhalgr demands change and all my strength shall make it to the better.

I better ask if I can call you Cici. Lady Crofte, would only say that to others to not get confused looks. It was so much easier to say at the time than Coatleque. I like Florence much better regardless. Mayhaps that will be one of the changes; maybe the need to keep that so protected is gone.

That mark. Forgive me, as you slept I dipped closer and looked. It is not superficial, that cut went complete through skin and more. How did you not die? I was wrong earlier; I have to be. It is not one of your attempts to dissuade or be undercover. Someone had to of healed it; someone of remarkable skill and strength. Even that someone had to care for you after. 

I will have to ask what has happened since. How can that be forgotten? A caretaker would not be forgotten? 

This letter is more of a journal less these thoughts go unchecked in my mind. Say something. May dreams speak. Much as you only asked me to come this far, I am not leaving. So hard to find rest when there is so much to be done.

Please say something. The sooner we know what has happened; sooner we can move on to your real dreams.

[[The rest of the parchment is covered in random notes of Coatleque's sleeping poster, if she grows restless, and anything mumbled. Also included are some basic crude sketches of the woman's neck and notes.]]