There was work to be done.
The prior days were a whirlwind of activity and reflection. He'd been in frequent counsel with both Sei and Howl and they were both tending to his wounds in their own ways. Of course, that wasn't entirely acceptable; It had been Warren's own lack of honesty that had hurt them in the first place, and anything that was happening now was just him picking up the pieces. He could see clearly how dumb his decision to not be open was, but he could also still see the trails that led him to that mistake in the first place.
How do you tell somebody who's been there for you the entire time they've known you that you've chosen someone else?
Warren wasn't unaware of Howl's feelings. He'd clued Howl into them first; On some level Warren had been expecting it, another person to follow the trend of anyone he let in after he and Sei went their separate ways. It wasn't the same, though. Howl was selfless in his care and genuinely seemed to only want to help Warren through the dark, and in his weakness and vulnerability Warren accepted it, greedily letting the miqo'te take those burdens on himself to help the recovering process. Howl had asked for nothing, but hoped for everything, and Warren had turned him away time and time again. To be open about his decision and his feelings would have decimated the man, and Warren couldn't bring himself to reveal it.
So much pain could have been avoided had he been more caring or brave.
The decision to keep Howl in the dark by omission haunted him. He could see the tension from both Coatleque and Howl on one another, and they both thought the same things, likely; Here was someone else who doesn't understand the dynamic, and it was Warren's fault neither side knew. The realization of it now made him feel even worse about the situation and he knew that he was a scoundrel for it. That was without even considering Sei's return.
Warren had convinced himself that she was gone. Following the arc in Coerthas, she returned alive and changed to Eorzea and had never sent word or showed a sign of herself. She was Snow, now, so Howl had said, and she had thrown away everything that made her up from her past life. When Howl warned that she would return, and likely to kill him, Warren refused. He felt his connection had finally been severed; Like everything else that died on that mountain, her feelings for him had been thrown off of the cliff as well. He thought he finally had closure, and that the chapter was finally closed. He was wrong.
He remembered her suddenly being in the main room. She was smiling, blunt as ever, wanting to reconnect. He didn't believe it, and all at once the careful construction that he and Howl had been working on to repair his heart was swept away. He felt guilty for it but his world was forgotten; Before him was Sei, looking at kind and sweet as ever, though different. She wasn't the same woman, but she told him how Howl had gone to her at her darkest moment. He'd told her that no matter what Ryuuga said, no matter what despair she felt in her heart, that she had someone who would always love her no matter what. She told him how those words saved a part of her from the fire, and she wanted to reconnect with him.
He couldn't do anything but accept. His feelings for her, long ignored and hastily discarded, eclipsed anything he thought he knew or felt. Those wants and needs don't just vanish into the dark, and her sudden appearance dragged them back, the entirety of them crashing down on him like Dalamud. He had always belonged to her, and he was reminded of that, he could feel her emblazoned on his soul.
Of course, his deception destroyed that. It was in some ways best that he'd tried to do the right thing and send her back to Siben first; She had wanted to break things off but he could see in her face the worry when she thought she'd hurt him. She had uncertainty in her still, and Warren wanted her to be sure. A day later, he confessed his infidelity and she turned away from him. It was what he deserved.
Things happened quickly, then. He broke things off with Coatleque, suddenly knowing deep down that he wasn't for her, couldn't be. He apologized to Howl and worked to repair those bonds, hoping he could return even a fraction of the love Howl had shown him. As important to him, however, was rebuilding himself in Sei's eyes. She had chosen him before as her knight and even after her departure, he continued to carry the small white knit square she'd given him the night of the Ul'dah ball.
He was disgraced. He was a letdown, a mistake, a disappointment. But Warren would not give up. He couldn't.
The prior days were a whirlwind of activity and reflection. He'd been in frequent counsel with both Sei and Howl and they were both tending to his wounds in their own ways. Of course, that wasn't entirely acceptable; It had been Warren's own lack of honesty that had hurt them in the first place, and anything that was happening now was just him picking up the pieces. He could see clearly how dumb his decision to not be open was, but he could also still see the trails that led him to that mistake in the first place.
How do you tell somebody who's been there for you the entire time they've known you that you've chosen someone else?
Warren wasn't unaware of Howl's feelings. He'd clued Howl into them first; On some level Warren had been expecting it, another person to follow the trend of anyone he let in after he and Sei went their separate ways. It wasn't the same, though. Howl was selfless in his care and genuinely seemed to only want to help Warren through the dark, and in his weakness and vulnerability Warren accepted it, greedily letting the miqo'te take those burdens on himself to help the recovering process. Howl had asked for nothing, but hoped for everything, and Warren had turned him away time and time again. To be open about his decision and his feelings would have decimated the man, and Warren couldn't bring himself to reveal it.
So much pain could have been avoided had he been more caring or brave.
The decision to keep Howl in the dark by omission haunted him. He could see the tension from both Coatleque and Howl on one another, and they both thought the same things, likely; Here was someone else who doesn't understand the dynamic, and it was Warren's fault neither side knew. The realization of it now made him feel even worse about the situation and he knew that he was a scoundrel for it. That was without even considering Sei's return.
Warren had convinced himself that she was gone. Following the arc in Coerthas, she returned alive and changed to Eorzea and had never sent word or showed a sign of herself. She was Snow, now, so Howl had said, and she had thrown away everything that made her up from her past life. When Howl warned that she would return, and likely to kill him, Warren refused. He felt his connection had finally been severed; Like everything else that died on that mountain, her feelings for him had been thrown off of the cliff as well. He thought he finally had closure, and that the chapter was finally closed. He was wrong.
He remembered her suddenly being in the main room. She was smiling, blunt as ever, wanting to reconnect. He didn't believe it, and all at once the careful construction that he and Howl had been working on to repair his heart was swept away. He felt guilty for it but his world was forgotten; Before him was Sei, looking at kind and sweet as ever, though different. She wasn't the same woman, but she told him how Howl had gone to her at her darkest moment. He'd told her that no matter what Ryuuga said, no matter what despair she felt in her heart, that she had someone who would always love her no matter what. She told him how those words saved a part of her from the fire, and she wanted to reconnect with him.
He couldn't do anything but accept. His feelings for her, long ignored and hastily discarded, eclipsed anything he thought he knew or felt. Those wants and needs don't just vanish into the dark, and her sudden appearance dragged them back, the entirety of them crashing down on him like Dalamud. He had always belonged to her, and he was reminded of that, he could feel her emblazoned on his soul.
Of course, his deception destroyed that. It was in some ways best that he'd tried to do the right thing and send her back to Siben first; She had wanted to break things off but he could see in her face the worry when she thought she'd hurt him. She had uncertainty in her still, and Warren wanted her to be sure. A day later, he confessed his infidelity and she turned away from him. It was what he deserved.
Things happened quickly, then. He broke things off with Coatleque, suddenly knowing deep down that he wasn't for her, couldn't be. He apologized to Howl and worked to repair those bonds, hoping he could return even a fraction of the love Howl had shown him. As important to him, however, was rebuilding himself in Sei's eyes. She had chosen him before as her knight and even after her departure, he continued to carry the small white knit square she'd given him the night of the Ul'dah ball.
He was disgraced. He was a letdown, a mistake, a disappointment. But Warren would not give up. He couldn't.