Despite all of the candles having been snuffed bells earlier, Warren laid awake in his bed in the Duskbreak. The house had been quiet for days and days now; Where before there was the soft sound of slumbering breath or the joyful mirth of drinking long into the night, there was only cold sheets and empty chairs. Sei had been kept away again due to her own business and while Warren did find comfort in his time spent with Howl, there was still an empty hollow spot inside of him when he was apart from them.
He was aware of the precipice he was situated on; Movement forward meant forever there would be going back. A small part him was terrified by this. There was safety in the status quo, there was a comfort in keeping the same. He knew that would never fulfull him, though, and that empty hole in his heart would grow and grow until it consumed him and despair devoured them all.
Warren knew he was of jealous heart. He recalled seeing Howl with Rinh'a months ago and it bothering him, though he would never have admitted to it at the time. Warren needed Howl's affections, and while they had initially been heaped upon the highlander in an attempt to help him repair the damage to his spirits, Warren had come to rely on them. There was an innocent warmth to Howl's feelings and Warren was not only unable to turn them away, but missed them when they were gone. It was easy for him to not notice, and now that he felt truly alone it was baldly before him. He needed Howl back, and for good.
The terrified part of him continued to wonder and try to find fault. Warren was too jealous, too protective. How could he even consider sharing that with two people? What madness possessed by that made him think he wouldn't be conflicted or torn? The quieter part, the bits of him which were resolute and unyielding, knew better. Sei had championed him, twice over, and he had sworn fealty to them both. He recalled sealing that most sacred of covenants and how his chest had swelled with duty and pride, and while there were uncertainties floating about that nagged and pulled at his armor, he knew better.
He wasn't giving up, and he was done fearing unknowns. He knew what was important to him, what he needed, and what the future would entail. The first step was saving Howl from that prison, and he believed her finally had the means to do so. There was risk, of course, and failure might mean the death of them all, but the same part of him knew there would be no failure. Unacceptable. Not an option.
Warren laid awake for some time longer, the moon drawing lines on his body through the windows.
He was aware of the precipice he was situated on; Movement forward meant forever there would be going back. A small part him was terrified by this. There was safety in the status quo, there was a comfort in keeping the same. He knew that would never fulfull him, though, and that empty hole in his heart would grow and grow until it consumed him and despair devoured them all.
Warren knew he was of jealous heart. He recalled seeing Howl with Rinh'a months ago and it bothering him, though he would never have admitted to it at the time. Warren needed Howl's affections, and while they had initially been heaped upon the highlander in an attempt to help him repair the damage to his spirits, Warren had come to rely on them. There was an innocent warmth to Howl's feelings and Warren was not only unable to turn them away, but missed them when they were gone. It was easy for him to not notice, and now that he felt truly alone it was baldly before him. He needed Howl back, and for good.
The terrified part of him continued to wonder and try to find fault. Warren was too jealous, too protective. How could he even consider sharing that with two people? What madness possessed by that made him think he wouldn't be conflicted or torn? The quieter part, the bits of him which were resolute and unyielding, knew better. Sei had championed him, twice over, and he had sworn fealty to them both. He recalled sealing that most sacred of covenants and how his chest had swelled with duty and pride, and while there were uncertainties floating about that nagged and pulled at his armor, he knew better.
He wasn't giving up, and he was done fearing unknowns. He knew what was important to him, what he needed, and what the future would entail. The first step was saving Howl from that prison, and he believed her finally had the means to do so. There was risk, of course, and failure might mean the death of them all, but the same part of him knew there would be no failure. Unacceptable. Not an option.
Warren laid awake for some time longer, the moon drawing lines on his body through the windows.