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Nevivi Nevi

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About Nevivi Nevi

  • Birthday 02/15/1984

RP Related

  • Main Character
    Nevivi / Lenneth
  • Linkshell
    Blue Horizon
  • Server
    Balmung

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  1. Hey everyone. I hang out on a fairly large FFXIV RP community Discord where I've ended up as part of the unofficial welcome wagon for new members, and after a while I started to notice a lot of repeat questions from new and returning RPers, and sometimes even old RPers confronting tough situations. So I started assembling them into a FAQ to help get people established, focused specifically on FFXIV RP on the Crystal Data Center (because I can't really speak for other DCs, not being on them myself; which doesn't mean it won't mostly apply, but it's probably not entirely the same). So far feedback has been overwhelmingly and humblingly positive, so I figured I'd share here too, so here it is, with apologies for my tendency towards ridiculous and ridiculously-long titles... So You Wanna Start Roleplaying In FFXIV (Specifically, On Crystal Data Center) But It Sounds Really Scary And You're New And How Does This Even Work Anyway?: A FAQ It covers pretty much everything I could think of, from things like system limitations and the UI to standard writing and lore conventions, even to a bunch of things that I wish I'd known coming into the community myself: social norms, common assumptions, setting and navigating boundaries, how to handle different opinions on lore-strictness, resolving conflict, all the 'soft skills' in RP that really make it work but don't often get acknowledged. As you can guess by looking at it, it was a pretty huge effort, but don't let the guide's length intimidate you. It's meant to be skimmable and taken in at your own pace. I also took the most neutral possible stance on issues, because I firmly believe that the only "bad RP" is RP that the participants aren't enjoying, so you won't find any attempts to enforce anything here other than treating others with respect. It's nominally finished, but I'm still occasionally adding sections as the need arises, so if you spot any errors or omissions, let me know! I'm always glad for feedback.
  2. Lorewise, DRK is about loving someone(s) else more than yourself and being willing to do just about anything to protect them. The love fuels the anger at injustices perpetrated upon the object of the love, and the anger fuels the dark knight's powers, but without the love to ground them, a dark knight would rapidly fall to their dark side and be consumed. But on the flip side, it would be hard to have that much rage without having love to empower it, also; directionless, groundless anger isn't really that powerful, just self-destructive. Selfless love of others is the lens that focuses it from impotent anger into a real instrument of change. Anger can manifest in a lot of ways, so it doesn't strictly have to be edgy in its presentation. As long as it's a motivated anger that results in action and propels the dark knight to right wrongs and protect the innocent and injured, it would still work the same for the purposes of the class and lore. There's a lot to be said about 'positive' anger in the dark knight quests; it's a very uncomfortable emotion and it can very easily and quickly become negative anger (represented by the constant risk of surrendering to one's dark side), but ultimately it's presented as a useful and even good emotion, as long as it's put to work improving the situations that caused it instead of letting it fester. Anger without a positive goal would in fact lead the wielder to fall into the darkness, you're totally right. So you could kind of have a dark knight who is happy and not-edgy, but somewhere in their emotional makeup, they'd still need love for someone(s) who are at risk of, or actually being harmed by injustice, and the resulting anger at that harm to empower them. Having that love could well make them really, truly happy though. As an addendum, to be clear it doesn't have to be romantic love...the general DRK lore focuses mostly on an agape sort of universal love for your fellow people.
  3. Character name: Nevivi Nevi Introduction: A Twelveswood-born conjurer and chirurgeon now living in the Mist, thirty-nine-year-old Nevivi Nevi believes in healthcare for all and runs a charitable clinic for the poor and those on the fringes of society, as well as making a mean lunch of her Shroud-famous spicy egg salad finger sandwiches.
  4. Just reading this, it's basically, "I'm holding this handful of hot coals and they really burn but I think I'm gonna keep holding them until they tell me they want to be put down." Don't do that to yourself. Just drop 'em. Yeah, you've been IRL friends, but she's not acting like a friend now. She just isn't. I can tell you know what you need to do, but you don't want to do it. Rip it off like a bandaid if you have to. Tell her she been and is being hurtful and you aren't going to put up with it, and make yourself some space, cis block/blacklist if you have to. Maybe she'll knock it off and you can go back to being friends without the RP involved later, maybe she won't, but either way she sounds like the type that wants attention more than she wants to be a responsible RP partner. Sending you stuff knowing it's distressing you is just plain cruel. Also, you're not going to be able to act like a friend to her in a healthy way while you're jealous either. This situation is bad for both of you. If she can't put the brakes on it, it's gonna have to be you. It's also possible she just doesn't emotionally invest in roleplay much and can't understand what the problem is. Some people just don't. There's as many ways to relate to it as there are writers. Hopefully you can find someone who's more on the same page as you elsewhere, or at least someone who can respect the differences in feelings people have. (Which she should do, but clearly isn't.)
  5. All good. Grumpy days happen to everyone (I can't say much, I started this entire topic on a grumpy day despite it also being my birthday). I accept and appreciate your apology. I'll have a look, gotta be a better way to navigate quoting long posts than I'm doing. I'll think over buttons and let you know if anything comes to mind that would be helpful to have on mobile. ETA: heck yeah this is a good quote functionality. You rock.
  6. Keep in mind also that people can only see your character, and however you want to present them. Whatever you're shy about in real life, you don't have to show to anyone during RP, and they can't even guess it about you unless you make it known. Getting into your character's point of view is almost like a sort of mental armor that way. I'm very introverted in person but I play at least two characters who are extroverts, and honestly it's all down to just giving it a try. Fake it 'til you make it, basically. A lot of what I do is like Faye said, put myself in my characters' shoes and think about what they would do, not what I would do, and trust that I can at least fake their confidence. After doing it enough times and seeing that it really does work, it gets much easier to trust my own writing. If you take some time and think about how your character would react to different situations, and work out some backstory so that you have a feel for who they are and where they're coming from, that'll definitely give you more confidence at writing as them, too. It doesn't have to be anything super elaborate, but it can help a lot. There are a ton of RP character development guides you can Google to give you a starting point. Even if you're just watching other people RP without doing it yourself, you can analyze it and decide how your character would react at different times in the RP if they were present and involved. The better a grasp you have of how they act, and maybe why they act that way, the easier it gets to get into their headspace. But characters can grow in unexpected ways once you get out and start playing them and that's fun too, so don't worry if you haven't written more than a few sentences in your head. A little can go a really long way, and the best way to get good at RPing any kind of character whether similar or drastically different from you is to get out and give it a shot.
  7. All good, mobile client's kind of a great big bag of not particularly useful. About half my posts here have been via mobile and cutting the quotes up from some seriously long posts has not been fun. It's totally situational. That's basically what I've been saying, or at least what I've meant to be saying (what I've actually been saying has had super varying mileage as I've had to translate from irritation at the situation to coherent words). Also the venue list was awesome and I think that'd totally be worthwhile, or maybe work out some kind of a replacement system with the clubs here? I could see that working if there were a common way to tag them, but I'm kind of a noob at this site and this also isn't super pertinent to the topic...but more venues known to more people is always a good thing in general.
  8. Then we're just not agreeing I guess. I maintain you could do a closed scene in the Wench. You might have to functionally ignore a fair number of people to do it, and party chat or tells would obviously be better than public, but it's still possible. Fun? A good idea in /s? Eh, probably not, I wouldn't do it personally, but if someone really wanted to do it they're still not obligated to entertain joiners because nobody's actually obligated to entertain joiners any further than they want to. Location still doesn't mandate that it has to be open RP. Actually, I could think of at least one hypothetical scene that might contextually make sense: employees at the Wench goofing off after-hours. I think Discord or something would be a better venue personally for any of it but what I think doesn't dictate what someone else gets to do with their own closed RP. Or if you actually were alone in the Wench with just your chosen RP buds, started a scene that for whatever reason hinged on the bar being empty, and other characters showed up in the middle, whether or not you acknowledge them ICly is up to you. I don't think it's at all unreasonable to decide that you like the flow of your scene how it was already and just keep going as you were.
  9. I think my beef at this point is "outdoors is public" when, to quote myself from earlier, open/closed is a function of the participants' wishes, not the location. You can have a closed RP in the middle of Ul'dah or an open RP inside a house. (Dunno why you'd do that in Ul'dah, but I mean, you could.) I think also we're coming at this from two different views, where I'm thinking of events as a subset of out-in-the-world RP and you seem to be thinking of them as the primary form of it. Or something similar, that doesn't feel exactly right but I hope it gets the gist across. So we're kind of talking across each other, since we're not actually addressing the same thing. (Yet another thing to word better in the second draft.)
  10. I still maintain there's nothing wrong with asking if you can join a scene or with people who would expect that. Considering the extent to which people ask permission to enter someone else's personal space IRL over completely inconsequential things ("Is anyone sitting here?" comes to mind as I was just asked that an hour ago at a coffee shop, over an empty seat in a public space I was in no way even interacting with) it's not a stretch to extend it digitally. We expect little kids to master this with their toys, I think grown-ups can handle it. Still not sure why 'pre-permissive' = anathema here when in almost any other venue that's just called good manners. I chose to talk about healers because...well, because I chose to talk about healers. It's a particular scenario I saw enough to turn me off from almost ever playing a character that used to be my main. Next draft I'm just going to talk about everyone.
  11. Yeah, that exactly my point. It's bad RP. There's people who don't realize they're being potentially antagonistic and I honestly think a lot of them would stop if it was pointed out to them, because most people aren't just jerks and everyone is new sometime. This particular forum is pretty weighed towards grognards but the overall experience I've had RPing has been that the old guard is a minority. Yes, even on Balmung. The community simultaneously doesn't condone scene crashing, maintains there's almost no such thing as scene crashing because all scenes visible in public are open, says people should be called out for bad behavior, portrays all call-outs as witch-hunting, gets upset about the RP Police, and will straight up tell you that you're doing it wrong if it's not this one particular way...because the community is huge and is made of multiple smaller communities cobbled together. There's no consensus because there's too many of us in disparate places with different expectations. Show me someone who's a regular poster here and I'll find you an RPer who doesn't even know this site exists. Acting like "the community" will do anything as a group without people actually doing the thing isn't how it works because there's not one single community. It takes individuals actually talking about issues to get them addressed. So...hi, I've seen a problem and I'm talking. Elsewhere I'm at 160ish notes and still no dissent, so even among the sub-communities that make up the larger one, this is a big enough issue that at minimum 80 people have unconditionally agreed, if not added their own stories of how they've been affected. I think it's definitely worth discussing. And I don't think "talk to people and don't act entitled to RP" is unrealistic as an expectation.
  12. I did say I'm going to rewrite it entirely because some parts were coming off as unclear. This is evidently part of that problem. I'm saying nothing about taking and keeping the focus of a scene, I'm saying that joiners shouldn't derail it to be about themselves. If you're actually the focus of the scene whether organically or by plan that's different. There's no hypocrisy here. It's a problem people have encountered so I included it. Don't read too hard into it looking for something to pick on here. Some players really do go around insisting they can fix another player's character with a disability or scar and it's poor form, which we agree on. This, except that you can hold a private scene anywhere. Closed vs open is a function of what the participants want, not the location. This is a lot of really out-there assumption but I'll bite. With an example, even. So for a while I helped run a small underground fight club style event with an intentionally low-power, gritty vibe. Our medic on staff wasn't aetherically trained, and this was pretty much by design as it kept the stakes for injury higher and maintained our vibe. But they were constantly getting run the hell over by other healers who were downright rude both ICly and OOCly that they weren't 'doing it right.' (Never mind the medic's player is a nurse.) They were specifically on staff for a reason, and it wasn't even that they couldn't work well with others, because I've seen them do it just fine when there's OOC communication; others just couldn't work well with anyone because they saw an opening and felt it was something that had to be fought over. Most events don't give a singular crap who heals what. Some do and that's their call. The majority of cases I'd guess there isn't any kind of hierarchy and so the point is entirely moot. Clearly this needs rewording too, but that's not grounds for being inflammatory about it like you are here. By end interaction I meant bow out, and that was a poor phrasing choice on my part. We agree on this point other than that. As an actual experienced example of what a healer RPer might handwave rather than deal with, I've been more or less ambushed with characters having pregnancy scares and that's a huge squick to me. Don't like it, won't RP about it, don't care how common it is IRL. I've ended up telling people I don't mind if they say they consulted my character about it, or even had her be a midwife because she has no such hangups, but that I won't actually participate in RPing any pregnancy or birth related scenes out. There's countless parts of doctoring that aren't trauma response (and even some of those could cross lines, if you think about how common it is for characters to be missing an eye...I don't think you can get on someone's case too hard for not really wanting to think about that in much detail). I'm not sure how you read this from the last three. 8. You don't have to put up with people being disruptive. 9. Don't be disruptive yourself, either. 10. Be respectful to others and maybe reach out to foster more of the RP you want to see if you're having trouble finding it. There you go. I can legitimately see where you're coming from on most of these but this last bit just feels like reaching to be mad or something. How the actual hell did you get that I want to be the only healer from any of this? That sounds horrid. I would never want that in any situation. (If you're going to keep on about my tone you might want to pull your own back a bit, bud. I'm giving you the full benefit of assuming good will here despite it.)
  13. RP attempts in bad faith to try and get something OOCly out of someone (an angry reaction, their IRL partner's attention, catfishing for items, etc.) just...don't deserve the time of day. They really don't. Personally that's something I would not even spend the energy on trying to resolve ICly first. If someone's already trying to force IC/OOC bleed, I'd just jump straight to, "no, and also leave me alone," and I would hope nobody would fault anyone else for the same. People only have so much time and energy in a day. Choosing to not spend it on something ultimately unproductive if not destructive should be supported, IMHO.
  14. So we're about the same age. Didn't like this particular behavior then, still don't like it now. And we have the same hobbies, go figure. Okay? Good for them? The vast majority of RPers aren't in that situation and I'm not sure why it's worth bringing this up. I am not standing here telling IRL doctors they aren't doctors, I'm trying to remind people who are nervous about not having ALL the information that they don't even need all of it. How magnanimous of you. Don't go after my tone and then do the same thing, dude, I acknowledged mine was crap and backed off of it. This isn't called for. I'd counter that I am actually overall having a blast, and the reason I have said anything is that I feel there's room for improvement. That doesn't mean 'omg I am so fragile!! I can never leave my house!!'...that I am fortunate to even have, considering that I'm on Balmung, and this kind of rebuttal leaves out anyone who doesn't have ready access to housing aside from being really disingenuous. I already don't generally roll with large groups outside of social events because the chat scroll is a pain to keep up with (doesn't stop me from running a few events anyway), but I'm not posting about solely my experiences, I'm posting because I have seen easily 10-15 or more of my friends get shafted by presumptive people. This isn't even about me in particular. I'd appreciate it if people would focus on something other than what they've assumed my RP habits are. No, I am really not accepting that. You are, and that's fine, but it's not universal. If we're all starting from the viewpoint that everyone has autonomy over their character, which I don't think anyone's disagreed with yet, then I actually don't have to just accept whatever happens from whoever is out there. We don't even have common consensus over what year it is, let alone what time of day (if I'm having dinner at the Bismarck, and you're having breakfast...we're both right, for our own canon, but it might make interacting weird). It's not reality, it's RP, and the details are malleable by design. Of course people IRL would react to IRL events, but this isn't IRL. That's entirely my point and you're kind of making it for me. If I were having a dramatic scene in public, I probably would use party chat, but then /em doesn't work in party chat and just because I flub a line into it isn't an invitation any more than any other kind of MT. If everyone can be expected to just ignore such a scene IRL then that actually works great for not crashing someone's RP. If I ICly chucked something at a Brass Blade RPer near me, then yes, I would expect them to join because I just interacted with them. If I ICly chucked something at a Brass Blade NPC and someone whipped out a uniform out of nowhere and tried to apprehend my character, I'd probably tell them to shove off, because I wasn't involving them. Or maybe I'd roll with it, but it's subjective, and I'm not obligated to either course of action. Sometimes you just want to RP in a given location for plot reasons, man. Or just a change of scenery. How boring would it be to only ever have scenes inside one room? I am literally saying that people are responsible for their RP and that includes what they don't want to RP. Making it such that they just have to accept whatever happens isn't responsibility. And again, if you decide that what's right and fun for you personally is to take on all comers, go out and have fun, this is not even a problem for me. My problem is when it's presented as The Only Right Way To RP when it's really not. Everyone isn't automatically entitled to everything they see. I am actually advocating that you absolutely should communicate about your styles and preferences because that's just basic consent, dude, and I'm not unhappy with anything except the assumption that you don't have to communicate. I am actually pretty happy in general with the RP I've both had and seen. You don't have to be miserable to say something's off. I am floored by how much of your post is actually you just...agreeing with me, only really aggressively. I am going to rework this idea to be broader, i.e. not just about healers but about consent and RP in general, because clearly the point I had meant to make is being completely overlooked for various reasons, and from talking to people elsewhere I am starting to think this is just a community-wide issue. Clearly the standard here on this forum is that RP is all open unless specified otherwise via physical barrier (party chat, locked door, etc.), but this forum isn't the entire world, and this particular standard is failing a lot of people. AND TO REITERATE, YOU CAN RP LIKE THAT. THAT'S FINE. I'M NOT THE BOSS OF YOU. I AM NEITHER TRYING TO BE, NOR DO I WANT TO BE, THE BOSS OF YOU. But other people are the boss of themselves and not all of them want what you want, and that is equally fine. What I am saying is that you need to communicate about what you want and figure out how it aligns, and a lot of people haven't given this any consideration and it's ending up in OOC conflict and people with no idea what boundaries are or how to apply them to themselves or others. (Universal 'you' for all this last part.)
  15. Keep in mind that people who are RPing on console don't get the luxury of typing it out elsewhere or even readily scrolling back to what they've already entered, and if their setup has them too far from the screen typos can go totally unnoticed. I know at least one person who can spell just fine but makes typos just for that reason, they're on PS4 and sometimes it's something as dumb as the bluetooth keyboard woke up slowly or dropped a letter. Ultimately if you can understand what they're saying, the RP is fun, and their writing's good enough, it's not a big deal. I am hyper-aware of typos but everyone does 'em, self included, and you just gotta learn to take a deep breath and let it slide.
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