So I've been running my own little RP FC for over a year now. We are actually made up of several folks from a previous RP FC and have been playing together since the 2.0 launch. So many of us know each other rather well, which includes having dealt with a lot of OOC drama and such, but we're still together as a group.Â
The problem is... over time this has caused me to sort of stop RPing... I used to RP because it was fun! Now... due to a lot of personal feelings, worries and just overall guilt and pressure... I've just not had much of a drive to RP...Â
I feel bad about this and with Heavensward I switched to Au Ra in hopes of starting over with a new story and such and revitalize my RP passion, but I've been hesitant to get started. I think a lot of the past with everyone I play with, the pressure to lead the FC, to try and drum up interest and events, to make everyone feel involved, and to make sure I'm RPing enough and with enough people... etc has essentially buried the fun side of RP.
It's made more complex by the fact that our small group has a span of people that don't RP much at all (like myself, lately) to those that do it very heavily. Even possibly worse, a couple of us (including myself) are in a raiding static, which takes up a lot of time. But beyond that, I don't know if I should be pushing people to RP more... starting events... or what?!Â
I didn't get a handbook when I started this thing.Â
 What should I be doing as an RP FC leader? The fact that I made it this far is amazing in itself!
This has been a pretty complex topic for me and I don't want to go into too much detail. I'm proud of our little FC and that we all stuck together for so long. It's a strange monster, though. With the mix of RP interest in the group it often feels like people won't do anything unless -I- get things going. There is just this lack of group motivation, synergy, or just plain interest. It just feels so much that everyone is looking to me and I have a hard enough time finding my own motivation because of it. It's very cyclical.Â
As RP groups go, I'm sure I'm not the first person to be in this situation, so I was wondering how do others deal with it? Is it just too late and a sign I should move on or do I just need to approach it from another angle? Maybe I just need some help to take a little bit of the burden off my shoulders so I can breathe more. Â What is your advice/feedback?
The pressure is pretty much a constant unless you lead something that's just a very small, close-knit FC of friends. It's just something that comes with the territory that you have to deal with. As for role-play, forcing anyone to role-play won't help, but encouragement will. Make events for them, start plot lines, give them role-play hooks. As the leader, you have to at the very least give them something to start with. People often join in an RP FC with the idea in mind that you will give them things to RP, so that will be their expectation. Also, let them know they're all encouraged to make their own events for the FC and start their own plots that the FC can join in on. They'll have fun making events, and it will ease some of the burden off you.
It also helps to really nail down the focus of the FC and communicate it to your FC members. Are you strictly an RP FC, or partially an RP FC? Are you light RP, or heavy? Are you heroes or villains? But ultimately, it all comes back to the fact that leading an FC isn't easy. There's a reason not everyone wants to make their own FC. It's work. Leading people involves constant adapting, listening to their feedback, experimenting with new ideas and watching for the results, etc.
Speaking from experience in leading an RP guild in another game: delegation.
Running a large guild of Rpers you should be able to see pretty quickly which players have the drive and creativity to be leaders in their own right. Talk to them and encourage them to begin contributing to creating events and engaging the members of the FC.
Delegation is a big one. Find those who are your "leader" types, those that are more than willing to help keep things moving and share the load and promote them to officer positions (if they want). When you have people to help share the load, it really is easier on you.
Also, please remember this is your game time too! If all you do is stuff for your FC, it will become a job rather than the fun experience with friends it should be. If you need to take a little break for a night, let your officers know. I promise they'll understand and cover for you so you can do what you want and return to your position rejuvenated.
I am not, nor have I ever really pursued an RP FC leadership personally, but I have been the leader of RP in other places, and I have some things to help out if you are willing to try and let some of that stress go, and really focus on your relationships in the game!
~Make Time!
Okay, so you have a static, and you have an RP group you've managed to keep together, here are some different time making components for you to consider. Make time for new content, if you are the lead of RP and indeed help push along the story and encourage the others, make sure that the whole group knows that new content in the game will sometimes take a precedence over RP. I have experienced many RP groups in XIV, and this was almost always an official or otherwise widely understood rule, that within the first few weeks of major content, there will be some pause in RP because not just you, but other members wish to enjoy other parts of the game as well.
Outside of game content, there is still more you need to think about. It is always a safer bet to have more than one RP or gaming friend group! I have this system in place for myself and I am not even a leader. I have a Hunt LS where I talk about hunting and share that community, I have a Lala LS where I share the vulgar gritty side of myself in a safe and super judgmental environment, and then because I need too much RP in my life, I have 3 (hopefully soon 4) RP connections. This variation of dialogue and sometimes overlapping, but mostly separate group of friends, helps me really divide my stress levels, when one group makes me particularly steamed, I switch over to another to have some fun and let that go, but I always have something to do in one place or another available to me in case I want to RP or do game content, another way other than simple dialogue to let out that steam.
~Make Connections!
This is described above for you, but also encourage your RP FC members to do this as well. Talk to other RP groups about possible plot lines that can drive themselves outside of your core group, meet up with other RP groups for their events, or even just make all this information available to your group so that they can choose what they want to do. This helps build a sense of community amongst other groups and amongst the RPers in general on your server (which I am sad to see in many cases is lacking, and really needs to addressed by everyone), and improves things across the board, and hopefully ease some of the guilt from needing time away on occasion. Something that helps speed this along is mentioned by other posters, but having someone at the helm of RP in the group besides just you, can't be stressed enough how this helps, and some really great things can come out of having someone there at your back pushing others to RP.
~Leave Drama Behind!
Okay, drama, I can't even with this subject most of the time. I don't like drama outside of RP, it happens, I have a rare abrasive moment here and there when I have to deal with prejudice in the community or really weak uncreative RP and RPers who have more interest in doing what they want rather than what is reasonable or acceptable in RP (which is predominantly a team activity btw!). I don't do this always on purpose, but something that has helped me stick with things for a long period of time, is distancing myself from people outside of the game setting. I don't do other chats, I will do voice occasionally, but honestly (and this doesn't have to be the case with everyone) chatting in the game and RPing together is what I need to enjoy, and not somehow thinking that our connection (though I find the connection by creativity between artists -visual, written, or otherwise- to be some of the deepest connections I have made in my life) means we need to meet outside the game, which allows for a mixing of personal and private things that will interfere with the artistic process and general fun to be had in RP like what we have in FFFXIV.
This sounds a little negative I know, and as I said, I don't really do it intentionally, I just really value my RP experience and community, and I instinctually don't like to jeopardize that with anything outside the game.
From what I am reading, you have both heavy and light RPers, this is a blessing where it seems to be a curse for you. Allow the heavy RPers to put up some events for everyone, a little brainstorming and planning, and you can have a great event that you as a leader don't have to run, but rather just attend and enjoy. Make an overarching plot that both encourages planning, but also flows with the game and allows people to make choices and have an outcome that helps everyone grow (again something to propose to the heavier RP members, and let the lighter side join in when they can/want to). You're in a static, and not just you, but maybe another member or two in the FC are also, how about this, make sure to put aside some funds to donate to RP events, hire a bard, hire some servers, dancers, and other people that can come make the event more fun, there are plenty of these sorts around, some don't even ask for actual gil, and just enjoy entertaining and sharing their hard work developing their character.
Okay, so I hope some part of this wall of text helps/is even read, and that this situation gets some work from you to make better, because at the end of the day, you need to find the parts of every creative and hard won process that you enjoy, whether it be RP, gaming, or both, and having fun and making that fun last isn't always easy (in fact it rarely is). I wish you and your group all the best!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply. All great advice! I'll do my best to take it to heart. Hopefully I can get things to a better place.
I think it's something a lot of FC leaders probably deal with, so hopefully it will be helpful to others as well.
I know it's already been mentioned a few times, but as someone who recently retired from leading a major RP FC after almost a year, it helps more then you can know.
Don't be afraid to ask members for help and advice either! You'd be surprised how well they might understand the situation and try and help you along.