Hydaelyn Role-Players

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(08-21-2015, 02:42 PM)GloryRhodes Wrote: [ -> ]

Dubious Distributions Presents

A New Sensation

Not Every Warrior Fights

On the Battlefield

Energy when you need it

Energy for what you need it for

BRONCO TEMPTATION

Passion in a bottle

6 GIL

ON SALE AT DATE AUCTIONS

Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.

Val stood before the advertisement, his mismatched eyes trailing over the all-too familiar form of the woman on display. While he wasn't quite sure what the strange combination of letters meant, he was more than aware of the picture: she was hot, and she was all his. Judging by the pleased grin on his lips, it seemed as if the Seeker had never been more proud of a conquest.

"Nnngh.. Godsdamn, Princess. Lookin' good," he commented, perhaps a bit louder than he'd initially expected to.

"Yer damn right. I'd let her ride my bronco anytime!" a nearby man replied, eyeing the woman over.

"Eh? Idunno what 'er looks have t'do wi' ridin' broncos," Val replied. Before the man had a chance to respond, another quipped in.

"Yeah, I'd give it to 'er hard!"

A few others commented in the same lewd manner, apparently friends. It only took Val a few moments to piece the puzzle together and realize what they meant and what the poster must have said. 

Those that know Val also know that his temper can be relatively short, especially when it came to his betrothed. Immediately enraged, the Seeker flung himself at the closest offender with both a right hook and a string of rather colorful insults to precede it.

Shortly after, he was detained for charges of assault.

(08-20-2015, 12:42 PM)GloryRhodes Wrote: [ -> ]

NEW FROM DUBIOUS DISTRIBUTIONS

BRONCO ICE

DRINK BRONCO!

KILL A DRAGON!

ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE

10 GIL A BOTTLE

A PORTION OF THE PROCEEDS GO TO SUPPORT OUR BRAVE FRIENDS IN ISHGARD IN THE DRAGONSONG WAR

Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.

Mirthful and boisterous conversation resounded throughout the stone walls of an icy barracks in the Coerthas highlands. As the assembly of intermingled hyur and elezen soldiers traded a slip of print from one set of hands to the next, the hearty cheers seemed to amplify.

Ameline sat up from her cot, rubbing at her back as the noise woke her from a restless sleep. As she wiped at her eyes, a young hyur soldier beckoned her over: "Valtin, come! Have you seen this?"

He extended the advert to Ameline to examine. Without taking it, Ameline looked on the photograph and allowed a most subtle and cagey grin to pull at her mouth as she nodded, "Ah. . Lady V'aleera!"

The soldier looked quizzically upon Ameline and retracted the advert.
"Wait. . /conscript/ Valtin knows V'aleera Lhuil?!"

Ameline shrugged lightly looking away as the grin spread into a chortling smile. "Of course, compatriot. Everyone knows of V'aleera Lhuil." With that, she simply continued to stifle her laughter and sat back in her cot.

Hotaru wiped the sweat from her brow and approached the gathering, her amber gaze falling over the advertisements on the notice board. Her breath falling short as she translated the texts before her.

Admittedly she had only seen a few of these persons around the city - but miss Clio was one she recognized almost instantly. The doman girl looked to the others who all equally seemed amused by the advertisement.

"So.." she asked the nearest person. "These are all adventurers.. selling drinks? They endorse them all?"
The merchant nodded, moving away after being spoken to. It seems, she would need to find out where and how she could suggest a new flavour..

(08-21-2015, 02:42 PM)GloryRhodes Wrote: [ -> ]

Dubious Distributions Presents

A New Sensation

Not Every Warrior Fights

On the Battlefield

Energy when you need it

Energy for what you need it for

BRONCO TEMPTATION

Passion in a bottle

6 GIL

ON SALE AT DATE AUCTIONS

Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.

Lan blinks a couple of times as if trying to figure out if what he is seeing is real.

"Well, Val is sure going to be pissed when he sees this. I think that's the first time I've seen Lady Covington dress that way, maybe they got her drunk..."

Shaking his head a bit Lan turns to head off down the street, his ear twitching a bit as he hears a string of curses and sounds of an altercation nearby, it seemed Val had seen the poster.

Makyn had been travelling around that day, and on his way back to Aleport when he saw the newspaper laying out on a bench, deciding to stop to see what was in it.

His jaw dropped slightly at the sudden pictures.

"Well, this certainly looks like it'll be good." He chuckled to himself, before tucking it under his arm, and heading on his way. "Faith's going to want to see this..."

Ki was bleeding and bruised.  His lip was busted, nose bleeding, and he had a gash over his gut. But the two suckers he had just beaten were looking worse as he towered over them. Blood was running into his eyes and he grabbed a piece of paper on the alley floor. He brushed the blood out of his eyes and then examined the paper. It was a add for Bronco Grease. Ki raised his eyebrow and snorted as he tossed the paper over his shoulder.

"Isn't that the drink the Garlean's outlawed cause it shrinks penis size?"

(08-23-2015, 03:40 AM)GloryRhodes Wrote: [ -> ]

INSPIRED BY THE TWIN ADDERS

BRONCO VENOM

FEEL THE SNAKEBITE ENTER YOUR VEINS!

FEEL THE POWER OF VENOM!

FEEL LIKE DEATH ITSELF!

ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE!

7 GIL A BOTTLE

Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.

"Two apple tarts, please." Elise said to the merchant before handing over the appropriate gil. Ul'dah was better than Limsa Lominsa in one regard; the Sapphire Exchange. Apple tarts in hand, she munched on one while walking down the lane and glancing at the other wares in the stalls. She stopped near the marketboard to pick up the Lantern's latest edition, browsing through the contents.

"...Bronco--oh not these again." She pauses to let out a sigh and mutters to herself. "The product isn't even being sold at the Grindstone in the first place!"

Elise looks over the pages once more, spotting the drawings near the top.

"...Hells, that's Leanne on there." With a free hand she rips out the page from the newspaper, taking care not to damage it. "She looks much better in person, though."

She rolls up the page and stashes it away inside of her coat, first heading towards the postmoogle and then the Quicksand for a decent night's rest.

The miqo'te can't help but laugh as the advertisement catches her eye.

"Really now Kayah... our dreams of grandeur ended thusly?" 

She reaches up to tear down the poster and stuff it into a pocket before sauntering off.

"I suppose there are worse fates, tis better to be a whore than dead, I suppose." She laughs again before disappearing into an alley. "Who would know better than I?"

"Do you think there's anything in it?"

"Boss, I can tell you there's a LOT in it, but don't ask me what specifically."

"I meant prospects, Fields." The Roegadyn sighs, swiveling his chair slightly--head tilted and ear scrunched against his shoulder as he tries to keep the linkpearl from falling out. Must not have set it right. Banquo squints at the saucy image through gold-tinged glasses, trying in vain to appraise the financial value of Miqo'te abdominals. "Do you think it's worth investing in, is what I mean."

"I wouldn't know, boss, wouldn't know myself. All I'm sayin' is that I'm seein' more of the flyers than I am the bottles. Here at the Crossing, leastways."

He takes a long gulp of Vitality, still keeping a suspicious eye on the advertisement. "...Drumming up any sales?"

"Not sure, boss." There's a crackle on the other end of the line. Banquo winced at Fields' distant barking. "Hey... Hey, Gunt! Gunt! GUNTRAM! WOULD YOU DRINK SOMETHIN' CALLED 'BRON-CO GREASE'?" A long pause. Banquo drains the last of the Vitality potion. "Hah! Twelve, alright, I didn't need the fickin' visual aid..." Banquo can hear the Miqo'te grinning as he returns to the call. "Lemme ask you this, boss. Would YOU drink it?"

He carefully folds the flyer, slipping it delicately into a folder. "I think I'll stick to homebrewed."

(08-24-2015, 11:06 PM)GloryRhodes Wrote: [ -> ]

BRONCO GREASE!

A FANTASY WORLD OF PURE IMAGINATION

A FORGOTTEN MEMORY OF A LOST LOVE

THE WARM EMBRACE OF YOUR OWN HANDS

BRONCO GREASE

ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE

5 GIL A BOTTLE

Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.

Running amidst the crowded alleys of Hawkers' Alley in Limsa Lominsa, Aigiarn hurries to the ferry. 

"I'm going to be late! Why did I...??" 

She suddenly notices the poster on the wall, with the very prominent "Moogle" on the cover. At first glance, it appears to be a 'Moogle,' but was far too muscular. In addition, the head appeared far too disproportional to the length of the body. 

"Wah!" 

Distracted by the poster and propelled by her momentum, Aigiarn disappeared over the railing and a loud splash was heard below. 

"That is not a Moogle"

(08-23-2015, 03:40 AM)GloryRhodes Wrote: [ -> ]

INSPIRED BY THE TWIN ADDERS

BRONCO VENOM

FEEL THE SNAKEBITE ENTER YOUR VEINS!

FEEL THE POWER OF VENOM!

FEEL LIKE DEATH ITSELF!

ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE!

7 GIL A BOTTLE

Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.

Leanne peers at the pin-up she was convinced to be the model with nothing less but a frown, plastered on the wall of the Carline Canopy. The visible marks of scraped paper under the art is her sure tell that wasn't the first poster of hers to be there. She gulps at the sheer thought of it all.

"Why couldn't I say no..." her ears droops...then perks up, startled as she hears the wolfish whistle directed towards her. She frowns childishly as it was Lady Miounne. "M-Ms Miounne! Don't do that...!"