Hydaelyn Role-Players

Full Version: Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater
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Everyone's got them, so let's hear them out. What's the one thing (or many things) you're completely worried or puzzled over regarding your character? Are you one of the unfortunate souls just unable to find a swell RP partner to write with? Are you trying to play a smooth operator but are unsure if you just come off as an thirsty ERP hunter? Are you playing a bad guy and worry about people mixing OOC and IC and getting a bad impression of the person behind the monitor?

I'm curious as to the anxieties and concerns of the RP community gathered here, because the Long Night cometh and we can only sustain the true form of Despair with sufficient resources.

I've personally got zero idea of how Warren comes across to folks outside of his/my current social circles. Sometimes the derision from people I've never met gives me pause and I wonder if I'm actually a huge jerk for realz.
Warren's probably heard this in passing at one point or another in one linkshell or another but something I worry about with Shoshopu is coming off as overpowered.

I mean, people already scoff at the idea of fighting primals. And that's a prerequisite for what she does. What would they say if they knew she's done it four times?

To counteract this, for public RP, with people I'm not familiar with, she only ever uses her Leviathan-egi, but when I'm RPing with friends and people from my FC, she can use two other -egis besides. My FC had weeks-long story arcs with weekly RP events leading up to each of those fights, and the fights themselves are typically done in Skype with a rolling system, but other people don't know that, nor do they have to care. So...

I'm in Warren's boat in that I don't really know how she comes off to most people. The people I RP with tell me she's enjoyable, at least, but I don't really "get out" as much as I should.
(12-21-2015, 01:19 PM)Warren Castille Wrote: [ -> ]Everyone's got them, so let's hear them out. What's the one thing (or many things) you're completely worried or puzzled over regarding your character? Are you one of the unfortunate souls just unable to find a swell RP partner to write with? Are you trying to play a smooth operator but are unsure if you just come off as an thirsty ERP hunter? Are you playing a bad guy and worry about people mixing OOC and IC and getting a bad impression of the person behind the monitor?

I'm curious as to the anxieties and concerns of the RP community gathered here, because the Long Night cometh and we can only sustain the true form of Despair with sufficient resources.

I've personally got zero idea of how Warren comes across to folks outside of his/my current social circles. Sometimes the derision of people I've never met gives me pause and I wonder if I'm actually a huge jerk for realz.
This is one of mine, especially when combined with the fear I have that I RP Flynt inconsistently sometimes (from a mood perspective). He's meant to be this somewhat aloof/social inept character who just always end up pushing people away more than bringing them in. The hard part is that this makes building new RP relationships hard, so in places like the QS or bigger RP events I tend to soften him a bit. I tend to worry that by doing this however certain people get the "Aloof kind of a douche Flynt" and others get the "Hey he seemed pretty polite and easy to talk to" Flynt. I try now to just find a nice middle ground and attribute his growth as a character as the reason he's less socially inept, but it's still something I am insecure about RP wise.
Oh yesssssssss.

Virella is very xenophobic what ends up ending calling all non-Ishgardians terrible racist things. Like really, really, really racist. I had angry tumblr posts about Virella's behaviour.  It is one of the reasons I sort of keep Virella out of public these days, next to a few irrelevant issues, and ensure people aren't batshit insane OOC before I start roleplaying with them.


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Besides that? Hells, Avelyn happens to be sexually aggressive. To the point someone was flapping out crap behind my back to other people. I had someone 'expressing' his concerns about Avelyn and the apparent rampart ERP I have on her. Like 1. Bitch please ask me these question in my face, not behind my back. 2. The odd case I do ERP, what has been very rare because I'm 95% of the time too lazy to even go there, it is my own fucking business. 3. It is own fucking business, as long I don't do it in the open.

But that did hamper my ability to roleplay Avelyn for a few weeks and I fucked off playing another game to calm my tits irl again. I was really, really angry at that, given I considered the person a friend as well. Later out I found out his reasoning why, and it had more to do with insecurities on his part then anything else. But meh, really didn't sit well with me.

Yeah I play character who people are very judgemental of. Whether it is because they are xenophobic scumbags, or due to being sexual aggresive as a woman (you know, double standards, men can fuck around without being judged, females its suddenly hur dur, irl and in rp. I don't mind the rp bit tho), and sometimes it really, really fucking freaks me out when people start to become bitchy about it on an ooc level. I kinda became a bit more careful about Vi's racism and Ave's sexuality. Because fuck, they are both written to be a lot worse then that I rp them (with friends however, they do get rped as intended, but I kinda test the waters with new people first these days).
This is a great thought-provoking thread.  I'll highlight a few concerns below: 

1. Sigurd is obscenely extroverted, superficial, and long-winded.  As a result, he has met a large number of other characters who are played by /amazing/ RP'ers.  My largest insecurity is the fact that I do not have time to RP with everyone I want to RP with due to RL obligations, and I often feel terrible because I cannot RP all the scenes I have in mind, or I feel guilty for slowing down plots.  On a related note, I often feel guilty for seeming "cliquish" because most of the time I have for RP is spent pursuing on-going character relationships or plots. 

2. Sigurd does really stupid shit sometimes.  His conduct is often offensive, perverted, and highly erratic.  Personally, I'm very reserved, calm, and extremely sensitive to other people's feelings.  I sometimes get worried that people might have a bad impression of me due to Sigurd's zany antics. 

3. Sigurd is very multi-faceted.  Some people have only seen his cheery, public face. Others have seen darker aspects of his personality; even fewer have seen how kind, affectionate, and loyal he can be.  I sometimes worry that RP'ers who see one side of him will think I am not RPing him consistently or reasonably if they encounter another aspect of his personality.          
I actually...don't have any. I like yapping about my character (Berrod) to so many people that I have a general idea of how he's received, and well -- I do what I want and I do it for fun, so I don't have many insecurities with him. I project his sexuality a lot, but I'm an adult, and that's fun for me. If someone expresses discomfort with it I'll take my ball and go elsewhere, but I'm not going to stop playing or portraying him the way I do. He's enjoyable, he's harmless, so if anyone doesn't like him that's sort of their issue. Communicating with a wide range people helps a lot, though I know that it's not easy for everyone.

-- Also, I try not to overthink. Overthinking is the devil.
Ok I will bite *gnash gnash*

At the moment I would say if I had any niggles it is not having any RP partner(s). It is a dry spell of random RP, which while nice, does not deliver the continuation, depth and sense of adventure you get with partners. I have a FC and LS and people I can RP with that keeps me engaged, but there is that something missing.

I can only take so much "chatting" RP, and I crave/write/run RP where stuff happens and you make a difference. having a partner makes this a two way experience, rather than just being a DM role.

It's not that bad really, just a niggle until the next marvellous RP partner knocks me over. I never go out looking for them, it just is that spontaneous "click" that happens now and then.

Smile
As the days get closer to my first event on the server for public people, I worry about how individuals react to what unfolds, if they will belittle it and how the fights work. There is also the air about how it has a lot of NPC characters and if images Will suffice. I've never done an mmo rp event and I'm uncertain if it will catch any attention. 

The first part I put up may happen during grindstone...so I am not expecting too many. It is a scouting sort of party first.
*Snooze bubble pops*

Personally, the reason why I've all but given up on 14 and its RP is that I have never felt connected in any way when I RP. I love Doc as a character and I know he's aloof to the point of standoffish and rude, but that's just a layer that a scant few have actually peeled back. Those who have, I absolutely adore, and while I know that no one is required to involve themselves with me and Doc any more than in passing, it's a sad shame that this happens more often than not in a community spanning so many FCs and so many individual players. Watching people post events, have no one (or very few) show up, then give up on it entirely actually damages my creative soul. Some events stick and (no offense to the GS here) they're chaotic, overstuffed to the point where few can actually RP much more than mindless cliche'-isms, showing off, or attempting to post something worthwhile but getting lost in the scroll of hurr durr OOC nonsense from those so bored that they've taken to the 4th Wall to be entertained. I think the most damaging moment for me was being asked to prioritize, against my character's knowledge and sensibilities, who he heals for the sake of the GS mechanics. It's nitpicking, but we're RPers. We're supposed to RP. We're supposed to encourage RPing, not confine it for the sake of moving shit along in an RP event. That, in essence, is my uncertainty when it comes to RPing on 14 anymore.

We're all very busy people, sure. That goes without saying, I used to spend 5+ hours every night on 14 doing some game content or grinds and then looking for RP only to be vastly disappointed and log off with a sour sentiment. Last time I left to take a break was amidst rampant nonsense drama, this time it's because the RP community feels less like a community and more like a jumble of withered vines unable to connect to anything that'll rejuvenate them. FCs are isolationists, people are too concerned about offending someone to be open and have fun. So I think my uncertainties stem from how badly people suck, more than my own RP which I'm not even bothering to do on 14 at this point.

Yeah, I know. I know. Hush.

*Snooze bubble*
Great concept for a topic.

So, for Benedict he has a few issues that make me nervous when roleplaying with others:

1.) Benedict is chaotic to a fault. He rarely plans and mostly reacts to things. This is not always appreciated. Especially when combined with a couple other of his faults.

2.) Benedict is an emotionally charged and driven character. I am really trying to play up the Dark Knight's power residing in their emotions, or what Fray likes to call their "dark well." This means he rarely has subdued reactions to things. He was an emotionally driven character before he became a dark knight, and is 100x worse now.

3.) Benedict goes to dark places. As a roleplayed dark knight, it is Fear, Pain, and Rage that fuel his abilities. So, when it does come to combat he is aggressive and brutal. Things that are not always stomached by other players.

The best example I can give comes from the first quest in the Dark Knight chain:
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I try not to make Aaron come off as "emo" but I seem to be failing at that because I constantly get people saying he's emo lol.

I don't understand why? Is it the blank monotone he does? That's just how he talks.

Is it because he wears all black? Black is a color just like any other. Would he still be emo if he wore all pink?

Is it because he doesn't smile? This is a lie. He smiles every time he laughs.

I DONT WANNA BE EMO GODS
(12-21-2015, 02:24 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]I try not to make Aaron come off as "emo" but I seem to be failing at that because I constantly get people saying he's emo lol.

I don't understand why? Is it the blank monotone he does? That's just how he talks.

Is it because he wears all black? Black is a color just like any other. Would he still be emo if he wore all pink?

Is it because he doesn't smile? This is a lie. He smiles every time he laughs.

I DONT WANNA BE EMO GODS

It may be how he speak and not his general appearance or tone.
If majority of the conversation is negative, most people would consider it "emo' in a way.

Xyla for instance has the same monotone and wears mostly black but despite this, she is still learning things and has some positive moments despite not smiling. Much like the slight warm feeling she got from a gift on saturday. It didn't show but her pause when she looked at it could say she did appreciate it.
Several things fills me with insecurity. Despite my silliness and bravado, people in my own friend circles have been witness to my bouts of insecurity. As for some of them...

1- Egocentric. I feel at times that I pass off as being too centered on me/Leanne instead of others while in RP.

2- Mary Sue'ing. I will not deny that Leanne has a rather broad knowledge and experience in a several range of subjects, while being relatively young to top.

3- Leanne is supposed to be empathetic, and have a fair grasp on the state of mind of other people. Of course, this will always be a hit or miss, but when she misses, it can sting me a bit.

4- If Leanne is likable as a character, overall. I mean, must be a common question, but I figured it is a worthy thing to note about.

There is of course more, but from the top of my head, those are my insecurities.
(12-21-2015, 01:19 PM)Warren Castille Wrote: [ -> ]Are you playing a bad guy and worry about people mixing OOC and IC and getting a bad impression of the person behind the monitor?

I have a character that started out as chaotic neutral and made the alignment shift into lawful evil and she's just...god she's a fucking challenge.

People literally feel different about me as a person when I'm on her. Consistently. Guildies, strangers, anybody. I get consistently treated more positively as a person on my other characters.

It honestly makes her a downer to be on not to mention that you have to be so careful on them and I find myself squelching certain actions I know she would take as to not rock the boat too hard depending on the situation.

That and it frustrates the hell out of me when people suddenly demand like a list of bad things she has done in her time as to somehow justify the title. No one ever asks my good characters for a list of the nice things they do to justify it.

That and evil characters have weaknesses, bad moments and sadness like anyone else. It's very often like everyone wants to pretend like all villains except chaotic evil doesn't exist and that pisses me off. Maybe people are just all brainwashed off these tropey Disney-esque villains.

"Oh, you must not be that bad if you feel lonely."


Wtf.
(12-21-2015, 02:55 PM)Teadrinker Wrote: [ -> ]People literally feel different about me as a person when I'm on her. Consistently. Guildies, strangers, anybody. I get consistently treated more positively as a person on my other characters. 
This is something that I worry about all the time in dealings with other people.  Am I being unfair?  Is it just the character who is such a jerk?  The IC world needs jerks for it to feel immersive, it also needs outright bad guys: but is that bad guy doing it to explore a different angle and enrich the community itself or is he another sociopath? Is it worth the risk of getting to know him better to find out?

We should be thankful for those that do, but it can be so hard to tell.  It is helpful sometimes to get that OOC whisper: "I know I am being a jerk but that's just my character".  But sometimes you are left never knowing, and in those cases why would you seek that character out for future RP?  One of the unfairnesses of life I suppose.
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