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Not being overly familiar with the lore, I figured that it's high time I hammer some sort of sense into Caleria's backstory- and get it to a state where I'm not only happy with it, but it doesn't really step on too many toes lore-wise.

Let me put up what I have so far, and maybe somebody could give me a nudge in the right direction as to things I could include.

Birth through Calamity (about 16, maybe 18 years of age):

She doesn't recall one whit of these.  Currently, her memory begins when she woke up in the Carline Canopy in Gridania after Dalamud's fall, clutching an old iron spear and torn-up armor- unable to recall anything much beyond that she didn't want to let go of the spear.  The name engraved upon the spear was the name they decided to call her- Caleria Amih.  It's unknown if this is her real name, but... she eventually decided to just go with it after people kept calling her by it.  She doesn't even know when her name day is, but settled on her current one just to have one. 

Trying to think back to the time before Dalamud's fall gives her a migraine- if there's anything there, it's not wanting to come out.

Training (Age 18 - 20)

Seeking some semblance of normalcy in her life, Caleria sought instruction in the use of the lance she'd awakened with- figuring maybe if she worked with it, it might provoke memories to come forth.  No memories came forth, but something else did- she enjoyed working and fighting with the spear, so much that she decided to pursue it while looking for something, anything that might trigger a memory- and allowed her to spend time wandering the Blackwood, fighting the beast tribes and helping to keep the city safe while trying to jog her memory.

Eventually, she decided that since she'd not gotten any jolt of memory from lancing, she'd dip into other jobs- figuring that there had to be something, anything out there that might remind her of who she was.  She tried everything in Gridania- being unsuccessful in unlocking anything further, she started to believe that the city held no further answers for her- and decided to make plans to travel to other lands, to see if new sights and sounds would do anything.

Traveling (Age 20 - 23, current day)

Caleria has launched forays into Limsa Lominsa, and tried her hands at many things- finally finding one nugget of memory- the smell of freshly braised pipira.  The aroma is familiar, just... there's something inside that tells her this is familiar, this is something you like... but again, the memories just have not wanted to come out.  At least it was a start- but as much as Caleria wanted to stay and chase it, her money was still running out, and by then it was time to return to Gridania.

After another year of research and gil-scrimping so that she could save, she again went back to Limsa- and left only a few days after she got there upon hearing that the braised pipira that really focused her attention was the way that the chef had learned in Ishgard.  So Caleria went north, and ended up staying there for longer than she'd anticipated.

While there, she frequently ventured out to test her strength on the local wildlife, doing much the same as she'd done in Gridania- doing her part to keep the roads clear and travelers safe, even while she'd do research.  Though the lead seemed to peter out, over time, she did make an impression with her lance skills- though it took two trips from Gridania and many months of work.  Recently, she was taken in for dragoon training- perhaps one of many outlanders, but she has worked hard at both training and being accepted by the others as one of them.

Recently, though, her travels have led her possibly back to Limsa- if it's not the place the dish was born, perhaps it was the place she smelled it at... it's not much to go on, she knows, but any lead is better than nothing.  Maybe, along the way, she'll find something else that bring a memory back...
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That's about as much as I have planned out- admittedly, it is kind of short compared with some of the novels I've seen, but I think less is more- it allows me some wiggle room if I need it, too.  I will admit that it's not echo or Warrior-of-Light related, too- I didn't want to bring in any of the main plot and make it too Mary Sue-ish.  The overall backstory is meant to set up a young lancer searching out anything that might be able to sound out who she really is- as well as allow me to make adjustments on the way to her story's conclusions if needed. 

I wanted a story that would give me the freedom of being able to not only work with others and their stories, but also to change something in RP if it just wasn't clicking with everything else.  I admit the pipira isn't the strongest link, but I had to get Caleria to Ishgard somehow to explain her dragoon training, and it seemed to be the best way- something triggering a memory that would get her to Ishgard.

Anyways, I'm open for criticism- what sounds good, what sounds weak, what do I need to change for a better story?  I'm all ears!
From a writing perspective: the sooner you get the details about her past life and amnesia worked out, the better. You don't need to finalize every small detail, but having a few important facts set in stone--her age, where she was, etc.--makes coming up with everything else on the fly much easier. Set a few concrete facts about your character to use as a jumping-off point.

Beyond that, it looks good for the most part, save for a few details.

(09-30-2016, 01:00 PM)Caleria Amih Wrote: [ -> ]...allowed her to spend time wandering the Blackwood...

For future reference, the forests of Gridania are referred to as the Black Shroud (EDIT: Or the Twelveswood. Thanks Jana!)

(09-30-2016, 01:00 PM)Caleria Amih Wrote: [ -> ]Recently, she was taken in for dragoon training- perhaps one of many outlanders, but she has worked hard at both training and being accepted by the others as one of them.

To start with, there are technically two groups of "dragoons". The generic term "dragoon" refers to Ishgardian knights or nobles who are proven to have personally slain at least one dragon. These people are not members of the Order of the Knights Dragoon and do not wear Drachen mail or wield Gae Bolgs.

The more specific term refers to members of the Order of the Knights Dragoon, who are representative of in-game Dragoons that wear purple mail, wield Gae Bolgs, and inexplicably jump fifty feet into the air. So it'd be worth differentiating which group your character belongs to.

As far as lore-abiding goes, this is sort of thin-ice and requires some heavy justification. To start with, members of the Order of the Knights Dragoon are drawn from the ranks of the Temple Knights, who themselves are drawn from Ishgardian citizens.

Non-Elezen and non-Hyur dragoons are exceedingly rare. Non-Ishgardian dragoons are unheard of, with the dragoon being a tradition that is exclusive to Ishgard. Going down this route, you will likely be questioned about it ICly and OOCly from the lore-abiding crowd, which is why the profession requires a well thought-out justification.

One of the most common questions given to people who roleplay Jobs as opposed to classes is: what does being the Job do for your character, writing and narrative-wise? For example, why does your character have to be a White Mage instead of a powerful conjurer? Why does your character have to be a Summoner rather than a potent arcanist? Why does your character have to be a Dark Knight rather than someone who's really good at swinging big swords?

And in your case, why does your character need to be an Ishgardian dragoon rather than a simple lancer (who may or may not have slain a dragon without any of the fancy Jump abilities)? Is she particularly inspired? Is she actually Ishgardian? Does she have a reason to make becoming an Ishgardian dragoon a goal?

Besides that, the back story looks totally workable and fine.
(09-30-2016, 02:57 PM)Nero Wrote: [ -> ]
(09-30-2016, 01:00 PM)Caleria Amih Wrote: [ -> ]...allowed her to spend time wandering the Blackwood...

For future reference, the forests of Gridania are referred to as the Black Shroud.

Seems to have blended Black Shroud and Twelveswood, both of which are names used for that area in game.

Other than that, nothing else to add!
See, this is why I needed help with this, because I would have missed that kind of thing.  First off, thanks for helping me with it!

To address the points-

I guess close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades... at least I was close, yeah?  I'll change that right away.

Same with the dragoon bit- I'll save the dragoon stuff for the PvE stuff- you're absolutely right that she could stay a lancer and still be just as good. I'll rework that bit.
I guess you could call this v1.01 of her backstory- I'll italicize where the changes were made, and we can see how that reads while I work on her true past.

Birth through Calamity (about 16, maybe 18 years of age):

She doesn't recall one whit of these.  Currently, her memory begins when she woke up in the Carline Canopy in Gridania after Dalamud's fall, clutching an old iron spear and torn-up armor- unable to recall anything much beyond that she didn't want to let go of the spear.  The name engraved upon the spear was the name they decided to call her- Caleria Amih.  It's unknown if this is her real name, but... she eventually decided to just go with it after people kept calling her by it.  She doesn't even know when her name day is, but settled on her current one just to have one. 

Trying to think back to the time before Dalamud's fall gives her a migraine- if there's anything there, it's not wanting to come out.

Training (Age 18 - 20)

Seeking some semblance of normalcy in her life, Caleria sought instruction in the use of the lance she'd awakened with- figuring maybe if she worked with it, it might provoke memories to come forth.  No memories came forth, but something else did- she enjoyed working and fighting with the spear, so much that she decided to pursue it while looking for something, anything that might trigger a memory- and allowed her to spend time wandering the Black Shroud, fighting the beast tribes and helping to keep the city safe while trying to jog her memory.

Eventually, she decided that since she'd not gotten any jolt of memory from lancing, she'd dip into other jobs- figuring that there had to be something, anything out there that might remind her of who she was.  She tried everything in Gridania- being unsuccessful in unlocking anything further, she started to believe that the city held no further answers for her- and decided to make plans to travel to other lands, to see if new sights and sounds would do anything.

Traveling (Age 20 - 23, current day)

Caleria has launched forays into Limsa Lominsa, and tried her hands at many things- finally finding one nugget of memory- the smell of freshly braised pipira.  The aroma is familiar, just... there's something inside that tells her this is familiar, this is something you like... but again, the memories just have not wanted to come out.  At least it was a start- but as much as Caleria wanted to stay and chase it, her money was still running out, and by then it was time to return to Gridania.

After another year of research and gil-scrimping so that she could save, she again went back to Limsa- and left only a few days after she got there upon hearing that the braised pipira that really focused her attention was the way that the chef had learned in Ishgard.  So Caleria went north, and ended up staying there for longer than she'd anticipated.

While there, she frequently ventured out to test her strength on the local wildlife, doing much the same as she'd done in Gridania- doing her part to keep the roads clear and travelers safe, even while she'd do research.  Though the lead seemed to peter out, over time, she did make an impression with her lance skills- though it took two trips from Gridania and many months of work to be able to afford two stays there of any length.  Though it seems the trip was wasted as far as her memory, the battles only served to hone her edge further.

Recently, though, her travels have led her possibly back to Limsa- if it's not the place the dish was born, perhaps it was the place she smelled it at... it's not much to go on, she knows, but any lead is better than nothing.  Maybe, along the way, she'll find something else that bring a memory back...


Thanks for your help so far- I'll post up what I have of her true past in a few hours- or when I get it done!
As far as her true identity, well... I've come up with two ideas that both might be kind of do-able, but again, I'd love some feedback on both to see how viable they might be.  I kicked these around for a number of hours, and out of the bunch I came up with, they're the two that sound the most plausible.  I couldn't exactly use Gridania- after so many years there, somebody would have recognized her by now.  Limsa was a distant third, and Ishgard fourth- given that I don't think Ishgard had forces committed to the battle at the Calamity.  I could be dead wrong, though...

A)  The smell of the pipira triggered her memory because of scavenging through an Ul'dah alleyway behind a restaurant for food- a small place that had the pipira as its specialty- leading on a merry way through more memories and false starts and dead ends that eventually leads her back to the land of sand and gold to find she really was nothing but a street rat- before this whole mess, she'd been nothing more than a homeless girl, scrabbling for a bit of gil, enough to eat, and a warm place to sleep for the night.  When the Calamity came calling and every single force was needed, she threw her lot in with the Immortal Flames, and ended up doing her best to fight the Garleans- only to cut and run as everything went to blazes.  Shucking her given armor as she ran, she only paused long enough to grab a set of discarded Twin Adder armor and a spear that happened to be buried in a dead Garlean in case she had to fight her way out- and that was when everything went boom thanks to Louisoux and the intense amount of magic and power flying around.  Magic blasted her back, she landed hard enough to hit her head, and the overall experience contributed to a serious case of trauma-induced amnesia.  Her real name?  Unknown, but known to some of the other homeless as "Scratch".

I feel this one could lead to her developing as a character by realizing that even though she started out as nothing, look at what she'd been able to accomplish by her pushing herself in looking for her identity- she'd become a skilled lancer, as well as picked up a lot of other life experience in the hunt- raising herself out of the gutter and standing on her own feet.


B) It wasn't so much the fish as it was the garlic that was added to it.  It was strong, Garlean garlic- a smell that stirs memories that she might not want stirred up after all. Mostly because it would reveal that hiding beneath the surface is a story that began years ago on a continent a long, long way away- under the name of Marsaili aan Aconia.  Born to garlic farmers in a country long conquered by the Empire, she was put through the same thing as other conscripts- taken at a young age, worked through the military complex until she was just another soldier seeking a higher societial rank by putting in her years.  She was attached as a spearman (I forget what the term is for the spear units) to the ill-fated Seventh, and when things started going all topsy-turvy at the end of the Calamity- the clashing of the magical energy against the incoming primal energy of Bahamut did a lot of things- but the one thing it did was disrupt the magic that kept her loyal to the Empire- right before everything went to blazes and most of the Seventh was wiped out in the resulting blast.  Marsaili was blasted away, her armor torn from her body, and her unconscious body found among the remains of a supply wagon, slumped over an iron spear that was assumed to be hers.

What would happen if her memories as Caleria were to suddenly intersect with her memories as Marsaili? How loyal to the Empire is Marsaili still (kind of, but...), and just would it do to her to know what she'd done beforehand?  The struggle to connect everything would be enjoyable to write- just how much of her actions as Marsaili could be balanced out as Caleria, and while others may forgive her, the question becomes if she could ever forgive herself...

I could see this line going as finding out that maybe some memories are meant to stay buried, but then rising above her deeds of the past through her actions in the present- hopefully with the help of those close to her, if she finds any friends. 
There's always the potential of those born in darkness to blossom in the light.


You'll notice that neither ending has her really as important as she is now- she's not the long-lost daughter of anybody important, rich, or powerful.  She's not anything more or less than what she started as- the only real things she would gain out of it are a deeper appreciation for what she has and a newfound purpose to keep going on to bigger and better things.

As for the original Caleria?  A Hume spearwoman from a smaller town in Ul'dah- all her family knows is that she's missing and presumed dead after the Calamity, not knowing their daughter's spear ended up in the hands of an amnesiac Miqo'te.  Maybe someday she'll return the spear to them... it could make for a bit of roleplaying, I guess.

Anyways, as always, I'm open to suggestions and criticism on either of these- if you see something that might not work, please speak up and let me know!

Thanks for the help, no matter how badly you rip it apart! Smile
As far as lore goes, I believe both are plausible.

And if you're seeking opnions, then I think it would be interesting to go the Garlean route. Perhaps occasionally something triggers her past memory and her loyalties can transfer slightly between the two. Almost like a split personality type of thing.