Hydaelyn Role-Players

So I've been on for a couple of years now and have accumulated a total of...one...RP friend. I'm in a free company atm. I don't have a problem with people that's stopping me from RPing, but I think it's my lack of social inexperience. I always think that there needs to be some underlying reason as to why my character is interacting with another character (I think this is mainly because I myself don't usually speak unless I'm 1) Spoken to or 2)Have a reason to speak to that individual). So, casual conversations and "Walk up Welcome" always bugged me out because I just think "What logical reason would I have to walk up to this random person and speak, without knowing anything about them?" and then I am put off from doing anything. 

When it comes to my free company, I find myself always coming in whilst they are in the middle of a story arc, all the characters are up to date and pretty much everyone knows whats going on. The same question "What reason does my character have to walk into a random situation he knows nothing about helping people he doesn't really know?" I've been with them some time but I have RP'd maybe once for about 15 minutes in that time span. 

How are people able to get their characters going with new individuals? I find it a difficult task to do without having to go over a complete pragmatic reason as to why our characters would speak to each other and what would keep them speaking to each other. Any advice? From anyone? Anywhere? 

If you were once the introverted/socially awkward/shy type of rp, have you been able to forgo and bypass that personality trait? And how? Anything is most appreciated.

(Note: I have tried to play the overlly social character but I don't think I make a very convincing social butterfly in terms of RP immersion so I steer clear of them.)

Contrivances.

Make some shit up.

Aghurlal is paranoid and doesn't like to draw attention to himself (he is bad at not doing this, but the point is that's a motivation of his). Left to his own devices, he doesn't approach strangers or talk to them.

So: I come up with some bullcrap reason for him to basically have no sensible choice but to do so. He's confused, or lost, or messed something up and needs an explanation/directions/help. He was in the area for work, and because of XYZ contrived internal reasons that basically don't matter to anyone but me, he decided he needed to go over and figure out or ask what they were doing. (Spoilers: this is how he ends up at 90% of open RP events.) His friend or colleague dragged him along and since he's here, what harm could a little small-talk do. Maybe he'll even learn something useful that'll help him with his work further down the line.

It's not like he has a smart-phone to keep him occupied - if he's at an occasion and he's not doing anything or talking to anyone, he's staring into space and it's boring. He may be paranoid and private, but that doesn't make him immune to boredom either. (Spoilers: this is how he ends up in 90% of his linkshell-based RP.)

You are basically stopping yourself from roleplaying, because continuity matters to you - and continuity is important, and can be a source of enjoyment! But here's the question you have to ask: is this fun? When you say "well, my character can't, because of 7, 8, and 9", is that fun? You don't have to turn factors 7, 8, and 9 into -7, -8, and -9 (i.e. total character flip into something you don't click with) in order to make a difference to your RP outcomes. You just have to stop stopping at "well he wouldn't naturally" and start looking at "okay, well what circumstances would he do it under? What crazy, weird thing could happen that would make him join in?"

And then make the crazy, weird thing happen.

Because rule of fun.

This recent thread in the Character Workshop has some good ideas, and I posted a link to this compilation of Crazy Weird Things that can happen to make naturally shy or withdrawn characters reach out to others.

My bottom line is, though: you need to rethink your priorities and stop placing character continuity above character participation. For some people that priority order works, but if it was working for you, you wouldn't be here. Don't be afraid to make up the most contrived, stupid plot device ever if that's what it takes to get your dude in line with the rest of your FC or whatever - nobody's going to be quizzing you on that. They're going to be talking about the awesome, fun RP they had with you and your awesome, fun character.

I get what you mean about not wanting to talk to people because your character has no motivation to do so. I used to do this a lot as well. After all, it's more polite to just not bother random strangers around you with small talk, and I, at the very least, usually imprint that social rule on whatever universes I'm rping in, as well. But rp walk-ups are kind of like jumping into a random beach volleyball game on vacation. Yeah, they're all strangers. Yeah, it might be a little awkward at first. But you're all there to have fun, and there's a 90% chance they'll let you play. So my OOC advice is to just not sweat it too much. It's probably not the most heartening advice, but it's a lot easier to follow once you realize that if someone didn't want to ever meet new people, they'd go rp in their private apartment instead of the Quicksand

As for your character's introvertedness, I've got two suggestions for getting around that. I think your best shot is to make a thread in the Making Connections subforum. Doing that lets you connect with other players OOCly first, then figure out the IC details, which sounds like exactly what you're looking for. Look at a few examples in there to see what I'm talking about. Throw up a thread describing your character and see what you can reel in. Look around that forum at other threads and see if you find any other interesting characters that speak to you. Chances are you'll start running into people that have things in common with your character or present an interesting dynamic. And once you figure out OOCly who you're interested in rping with, you can go about coordinating meeting them and can get as in-depth as you want as to the why and how you're having that initial conversation. And from there, it works like normal socializing. You meet friends of friends and so on.

For walk-ups, if you choose to engage in them, I'd recommend the most simple motivation you can possibly give your character: they don't have anything else to do and need to pass the time. If the alternative is to stare at the wall and watch paint dry, it's entirely reasonable to end up conversing with your neighbors, particularly if you're sitting next to each other at a bar or some other social gathering. Granted, your character may be the type to just happen to have a book in their pocket to read instead, and if that's how you want to play it, more power to you, but it's a no muss, no fuss solution that can break you into a lot of situations if you're willing to go with it. And it's always possible to overhear some tidbit that piques your character's interest (though by no means guaranteed), and then you have an in.

With your FC mates, I'd say you have a similarly easy in: you're basically co-workers. Sure, your character might not care about their problems or whatever grand, world-saving quest they're in the middle of right away, but there's plenty of opportunity for small talk. I'll admit I don't know how your FC is run, but I imagine there's still rp on the nights between the big plot events, and that's a good opportunity to get your foot in the door. But, if this single, big plotline is absolutely the only thing going on and your character isn't invested, then it might unfortunately be time to move on to a new FC. If you've spent years of your time and still don't feel comfortable or like you fit in, it's probably not going to get better. We've got a subforum for Free Companies, too. I can almost guarantee you can find something there to pique both your and your character's interest, and if your character's interested, well, then, they have a reason to get involved and start socializing, don't they?

Most FCs also have a theme or mission statement that usually binds them all together. Whether it's a free company that's gathering a particular race of people together or an adventuring guild on a mission, you're all there either because you have the same goal or you're seeking a home with likeminded individuals, and that's plenty of motivation to at least be curious about the people your character is working/living alongside every day.

I know that ended up a lot, but I hope something in there helps! Shoot me a PM if you have any questions.

Dear Shy Flower,

I read your letter and I must say you seem to paint yourself into a corner. If you have tried and failed at getting interactions to stick then perhaps it is time for a new approach.

I would find yourself a more engaging friend that you can tag along with and pick up the cast offs. Generally such folks will not stick to one interactions and move along. That is your chance to pick these us as they fall away. 

You should dress quite plain, and let your new friend be the flamboyant one. Those they interact with will soon look past your friends glamor exterior and see you as the more calm and dependable sort. Their egos will want your friend but their mind will soon realize you have some attraction too.

You can find these dynamic friends almost anywhere, you just need to have some initial interaction and then attach yourself like a limpet weather they want you or not. In fact they don't even have to know, you can just insert yourself in a bar or other gathering.  Even if it backfires and they ridicule you, such a spotlight will only enhance your standing with some in the crowed.

I hope this has given you some ideas, and I wish you well.


Yours in insanity,

Mad Nebbs the (Un)Wyse Witch of the Woods

So, I see a few different places here where I think can offer advice.

Free Company story arcs: I'm going to assume for the moment that you enjoy, or think you would enjoy, plot-oriented RP, and that your character has a reason to be in the Free Company ICly. If the former isn't true, and it isn't true for a fair number of RPers, then that's fine; there's no reason to get engaged. If the latter isn't true, then it may be time to find a new Free Company, because this one isn't working for you IC (and possibly OOC).

So, working from the assumption that both of those are, indeed, true, your character has a built-in motivation to engage with the plot. Your Free Company associates are your friends, your family, your employers, or someone else (and if they're not -- if you don't really know them IC or OOC -- see above about how to handle that), so you have a reason to want to engage. In terms of engagement, why not have your character just ask someone they think looks knowledgeable or interesting about what's going on? "Expository banter" is an easy, low-impact form of RP where someone brings you up to speed on a plot. Indeed, I'd say about a quarter of my plot-oriented RP falls into that category. If your character doesn't know or can't guess who might be a good choice, talk to an officer of the FC OOCly and ask them. Chances are, they'll be able to set up RP to loop you in. If they don't want to, or push back on this... see above about how to handle that.

Walk-ups: Walking up can be hard to do. I, too, typically need an IC pretext, because why would my character just start talking to someone? That said, IC pretexts are easy to work out OOC. RPers who are walk-up friendly are, by definition, putting themselves out there for RP, and a key part of RP is OOC communication. Don't be afraid to send them a tell to the effect of, "Hey, I'd like to RP with you, but I don't know how we'd get them interacting. Any ideas?" You can make this tell more effective if you volunteer some characteristics about your character -- what they like, what would draw them over, what might start a conversation. To use a personal example, L'yhta has an intense interest in various forms of magic. So, if I want to do a walk-up with someone, I'd volunteer that and ask them if they had anything that stood out in that way.

About shyness: L'yhta is a very outgoing individual when she feels in control of a situation, when it's with people she knows, or when it's within her areas of expertise. She's somewhat reserved otherwise. To Nebbs's point, a Manic Pixie Dream Friend can help a lot with working around that shyness. Using another personal example, L'yhta generally avoids large crowds of people she doesn't know in purely social situations (she'll get right up in a crowd of adventurers, but a party at a tavern? A pajama party? A concert? Oh, my, no, never). How I get around this is have some other character that she knows drag her there, either as a friend or as arm candy. That way, she feels more comfortable because she has someone she knows and can interact with -- and hey, if that person ditches her, there's some conflict RP that arises out of that.

I hope this helps! Just from reading your post, I still have to wonder if you've found the right Free Company for you. If they're great, nice people OOC, then I'm sure they'd be amenable to engaging with you OOC to help loop you into the RP more so that your character has stronger connections and better reasons to engage. If they don't want to do that, or if the IC concept of the group (or the characters in the group!) don't mesh with yours, though, it might be time to move on.

As a postscript, I often have times I'm available for random RP, and I can almost always come up with a pretext for two characters to interact. Depending on the situation, L'yhta can even be your Manic Pixie Dream Friend. Feel free to reach out if you want to set something up.

Wow, thanks for all of the Replies. Kilieit has most of the right of it. I do spend TOO much time with the idea of continuity to have even guessed to apply any of those tactics. I think too hard about these things. 

I don't think it would be too much of a problem getting in with my free company if I ease up on the thinking. I was just worried about joining them and it not being 100 percent logical, but I will forgo this thinking and see how it all works out. I will try with people I am Familiar with before trying with random stranger. Thanks again for all of your advice, and the links too, that was really helpful!! 

Freelance Wizard I will take you up on that invitation next time I'm free to do so. Might try some of these tactics on you haha. See how well I do with casual conversation.

I'm gonna jump in the pool. Continuity and logic (mostly logic) are soooooo important to me; without them, I don't have as much fun when I rp. Every day I brainstorm why X character would be in Y place doing Z thing. Not like I schedule this shit, more like I just peek into their world to see what they're up to. I am always considering "why would my character speak to this person?" (Sometimes I just have to kind of ooc it when it comes to events. I'll rp as the character at the event, but their story arc may not actually make it probable that they'd be there. That's okay though.) I strongly encourage you to really brainstorm up some different ideas that would be plausible as to why you'd reach out to someone. Where I'd ask that you perhaps rethink your character concept is if they are so insular and anti-social that you just can't think of ANY reason they would socialize or even speak to others. While people like this do exist irl, it's pretty much impossible to rp as them in game. :/

As for 'walk up' RP, there is also the option to just emote something instead of striking up a direct conversation with someone nearby. For example, you can emote that you open a book and start reading it while at a busy bar. Maybe the person next to you asks what you're reading. It's something to start with.

I know how you feel especially in regards to walkups and continuity. As you said, sometimes a character just doesn't have a reason to speak to another one. I think everyone gave really great and sound advice, but one thing that sometimes helps me is to look for a reason why my character may speak to someone. Perhaps they have a really intriguing outfit, my character might comment on that and then I just see where the conversation goes. You never know! If the character itself is shy, you might even be able to message the person you have interest in RPing with and working out something OOC with their character. As far as I've seen most people are very happy to get a tell or a message and would be happy to work something out!

Hey SolaceWinds

From one introvert to another, I hope this helps:

When I first started playing I really wanted to make good friends and find a nice group to rp with. So I stacked my deck against my own tendencies and made a character who is, of all things, a performer. She's a bard in the most IC version of things, and has several macro'd out songs and stories, jokes and dances, etc. She's also impulsive, and gets herself into all kinds of trouble. Basically, I made a character who is very much not me, but rather, was designed to meet people.

Having done roleplayish things for about 20 years (MUDs, D&D, Vampire, LotRO) I will say she's been the hardest character for me to play that I have ever created, but also she's probably the dearest to my heart as she's brought me so many great friends.

I'm not saying I've changed as a person, but after playing her for almost 3 years now, I HAVE met a bunch of great people... and I've gotten really good at composing limericks on the fly.

ICly, making stuff up never fails. But it helps if your character has a healthy social need. They don't need to be a social butterfly, but having relationships is important for most people, even introverts.

OOCly, just ask via /tell. RPers love talking about their characters. A lot of the time when I RP, I have a sort of pre-RP huddle where we throw basic ideas back and forth OOCly before we even start. Anything to get away from the cold approach, which wastes time with pleasantries and the basic chatter topics. The organic RP comes later once I'm better able to play off the other player and their character.

I am a very very quiet person/shy. For a long time I had a partner that was more out going so we balanced out. However that came to an end - want to say a good 5 months or so ago. My "main" was already quiet and what not. So really the only time she tended to meet people was when new folks would get hired, employees, social functions. She really isn't the kind of loiter in the Quick, meeting person. I haven't given up on Ritsu for RP but I have moved my RP focus to my more social friendly character, Chidori.

Anyways, I somewhat blended an OOC like with an IC one. I like to grow flowers and make hair pins. For Starlight I decided to have a give away (Santa came to help) and we gave out tons of flower hair pins which was super fun. XD Chi was already a lover of nature so doing this IC'ly isn't far fetched. And now I am networking for the girls (her and her sisters) to give them away at events to help out or make someones event more fun.

I feel like work or goodwill is easy enough tie in. For example, if your character is a healer? Maybe a free clinic. Or if they are a weaver, try to drum up some clientele.