Hydaelyn Role-Players

I'm not really sure how I should start this.

There's a lot I wish I could tell you.  Things I wish I could explain.  As is stands, I'm not even sure if you'll ever even know of this letter's existence.  I don't have any other real choice and at the very least, this helps pass the time.

At first, I felt abandoned.  I know the score as a scout regiment - I'm first in and I'm a deniable asset.  There was a time when I was ready to jump twice as high as they asked me to for the Maelstrom, but after all this conflict and all these decisions made up high... I don't know how to respond anymore.

I was dead.  Or at least by their account, I was.  There was no double checking.  No medic pulling us from the field.  We weren't a part of the main force so it was do or die - I just didn't expect it to be taken this literally.

I don't know how long I was in there.  The only thing I could focus on was the extreme pain.  They made sure of that.  The Empire likes to make sure they push the point home that they are very much in charge.  That your very mortality hangs in their balance.  They had all the answers and all I had to do was listen, give them what they wanted.  After so long without saying a word, I think for a time I forgot what my own voice sounded like.

He never explained why he did what he did.  But he freed me and I wasn't about to question something like that in the state I was in.  He spent hours, days watching over me and helping me recover as best as I could.  "The body will heal on its own", he said, "we need to focus on repairing your mind".  I wasn't so naive as to believe I would forget everything they did to me - to us.  But I had a new reason to focus and that was a mercy.

It was rigorous - tough.  Constant training and learning.  Explanations that only somewhat made sense, but being with him was a comfort.  There were still no explanations as to why, but I was still thankful for everything he was doing for me.

I don't have him to point me down the path anymore - he was taken from me just as you were, only I at least have certainty and closure as to his fate.  The fact that I don't have that in your case is what gives me hope.  I was beaten, broken, forgotten - rebuilt, re-purposed, and reinvigorated.

None of this will probably make sense to you, and I don't even know if you still care.  At the very least, I wanted to at least try to let you know that I haven't forgotten.  That I tried.  Last I heard, the Maelstrom, Adders, and Flames are pushing in force toward Ala Mhigo - maybe I'll get lucky and find you among them.

Luck has been in short supply.