Hydaelyn Role-Players
Complaint/Rant/Thing: What's with all the aggression lately? - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Complaint/Rant/Thing: What's with all the aggression lately? (/showthread.php?tid=11216)

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RE: Complaint/Rant/Thing: What's with all the aggression lately? - Sophia_Grave - 04-23-2015

I'm way late to the party, but I've only just now given the thread a good read.

1. It seems like a crackdown (too dramatic?) is coming. Good. At the very least, there should be a rule review or update or something, so we all know exactly what is expected.

2. Rep. I don't love the system. It made me really disappointed to see that inflammatory or snarky posts get tons of rep. I mean, I love that people admit to it, though; it was always something I wondered about. As far as changing/removing it goes? Eeeeh. I think posts with mod action should be ineligible for rep. Can that happen? 

3. I'm also disappointed that individuals seem to draw validation from other people interacting or commenting on the individual's post. The welcome desk is one thing, but faulting others for not interacting with you solely because you're in the same space isn't fair. There's a point where I feel it won't be genuine anymore, if that's what people need to feel like they're in the 'in' crowd. And for all you lurkers out there, you're the ones that should be supporting posts that you like. Setting yourself to invisible and just watching from afar helps no one. Rep is there if you agree but don't want to get involved. It feels good to give and get rep.

That's all I have to say that hasn't been said already.


RE: Complaint/Rant/Thing: What's with all the aggression lately? - Warren Castille - 04-23-2015

Generally speaking, if there's an (Open) RP thread that I can't fit a character into, I'll read it but not reply. There was a thread a week or three ago where someone floated an idea for an RP arc and asked for comments on it, and they were leaning heavily towards the negative. The thread creator requested that if people didn't like it, they shouldn't post in the thread. I wondered in that thread what would be preferable - A thread that gets a lot of critical (and sometimes harsh) criticism or an empty thread with no replies?

The answer's highly subjective.


RE: Complaint/Rant/Thing: What's with all the aggression lately? - SicketySix - 04-23-2015

There is a saying that goes "If you want to be successful, welcome criticism"
I believe that is true in every case!


RE: Complaint/Rant/Thing: What's with all the aggression lately? - Cato - 04-23-2015

The key is that all criticism should be constructive. I agree that every thread should be open to differing opinions simply to avoid creating echo chambers which can be pretty damaging. On the other hand, the way in which some criticism is taken and given can be equally problematic.


RE: Complaint/Rant/Thing: What's with all the aggression lately? - Qhora Bajihri - 04-23-2015

I only read about half the thread. I'll go back and read it as I get bored enough and there's not enough new content elsewhere, but I doubt I'll see too much info that doesn't get rehashed. I'm just going to add my personal experience into this giant pot because I can, and I like to.

I took a hiatus due to RL, from the game, from the forums, from everything, including scratching out my old character and making a "new" one. I thought I'd still be on hiatus, but it turns out babies are actually really boring when they sleep all the time. I don't really have any friends anymore. The FC and LSes that I'm in are all quite quiet. The few people I do talk to are generally friends I made... here, actually, and only within the past couple months, so... yeah.

I came back to HRPC for one thing and one thing only: The Character Development forum.
I wanted ideas to build the new thing I was playing. If Character Development was still the only part of the forums I ever visited, it would still make this place worthwhile in my book. It's exactly what it claims to be and it does it well.

As far as the rest of the forum is concerned, I'm not actually seeing the aggression much. I'm guessing this must be due to elite moderation skills. I see some relentless negativity, but it only comes from a few directions, so I've figured out how to dodge it. I see some serious passion that I don't share, but I applaud it, even though I don't share it. I don't find it a negative thing to be passionate usually.

Overall, as someone who doesn't expect much from strangers and probably qualifies as a lurker, as I can't RP much in-game these days, I find this place -- even this thread in the first half at least -- overflows with positivity and encouragement. It might be marked by shadows here and there, but my general response? What's with all what aggression?

Edit: I've read the whole thing now, and yep, not much to add.


RE: Complaint/Rant/Thing: What's with all the aggression lately? - Faye - 04-23-2015

Well, some real talk after I've slept on the matter and thought it over a bit more.... to try to get back to the spirit of the initial post, some things we can all do to make the RPC a more friendly place...

1. Don't assume every post is targeting you. This goes back to my first post in this thread, but hey, I'll elaborate more this time. As many folks have said, due to the no naming and shaming rule (which certainly should be in place, don't get me wrong), some posts must be left vague. Other posts are not talking about people at all, but a trend itself. If someone says "I don't like Miqo'te" and you play a Miqo'te and really love your character, it can sting. You may wonder, "Why? Are you saying you don't like me, either? Are you saying I'm a bad role-player? Are you saying I shouldn't role-play a Miqo'te? Are you implying I'm wrong and stupid for liking Miqo'te?"

We're all human, we all have insecurities, we all secretly worry about what others think of us. These questions are a natural, knee-jerk reaction to have when someone insults or dismisses something we like, or something we are, or something we do. But even though it's normal to wonder if the person who says "I don't like Miqo'te" is implying these things, please remember they aren't actually saying any of these things. It's all in our heads. Sure, for all we know, they may actually think these things, but we don't know that they do, and they haven't said that they do, so please don't get upset and respond as if they've actually said any of these things you've wondered if they mean.

Do not read into words more than what is there. The person probably isn't talking about you. The person may not even know about you, or who you are, or that you like Miqo'te, or that saying they dislike the thing you like might upset you.

2. Don't look for excuses to fight your enemies. Not everyone here is going to like each other, and that's okay, it's inevitable. I've noticed that a lot of arguments here about lore and whatnot sometimes... don't seem to actually be about the lore at the heart of things. When you dislike someone, it's very tempting to want to find fault with everything they say. It's tempting to look at every post, and try to pick out the one thing that may have been negative, or poorly worded, or to completely misconstrue the point the person was trying to make it, be it intentional to try to make them look bad and pick a fight, or accidental due to the latent desire to just hate everything about that person who wronged you in the past and all that they do. I get it. I feel like it's happened to me a lot, and I admit I've had the temptation myself with people who have hurt me and I've probably given into that temptation more than once.

Please take a step back and ask yourself, "Would I interpet this post the same way if it was written by a total stranger, or a friend? Would I be responding this same way if it was a someone I liked, or someone I've never met?" Resist the temptation, and you may realize that sometimes people you have personal beef with are typically pretty okay, and may even have things to say that you might agree with if you aren't going out of your way to try to find fault in their every post.