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+--- Thread: A Captain's shoulder the grief (Open) (/showthread.php?tid=11343)
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RE: A Captain's shoulder the grief (Open) - Star Lin - 05-10-2015
"Doc, if it's possible for you to fix my leg, you'll be my new best friend," Sam said. "But not right now." His eyes narrow a little bit, filing away what John had said about his leg. "Going have to check some reports later...maybe meet with your Captain when I come in." His eyes caught with Oak, letting him know that there might be more then just a meeting between two units captains. He picks up his beer, eyes glancing side ways at John. He watch John stare at his hands and was tempted to call someone over for another beer. "You know, John, I'm not always going to be here to pull your fluffy tail out of the fire." He took a sip of his beer. "You can't hide this from them forever, John."
John choose to ignore Sam's statement. "Wouldn't it be better to hurt then...then to hurt them instead." He didn't want to risk taking what was private and precious...memories of friends and family. And they would never realize that he saw, had taken them from.
Yet, as he sat there, he tried to see pass the hurt, both for himself and the fact that end the end, he couldn't help Howl either. Sam was the only one that was left that knew, to maybe let someone else in. 'We have to take the good with the bad,' his sister words. 'I don't know why you always seem to not see the forest because of the trees.' A soft chuckle came from him and he could almost picture Sam's face, the raise eyebrow that was staring at him. "I was thinking of something sister once told me," was John's quiet voice.
He reach up, pulling the hood back from his head, and shook his hair back into place. 'Where do I start?' he thinks. "I..." he being, opening up his eyes and look both at Doc Oak and Warren, "want to know. How much do either of you know about aetheric sensing?"
RE: A Captain's shoulder the grief (Open) - Warren Castille - 05-11-2015
The highlander kept quiet while Sam and the good doctor tried to speak and reason with the troubled miqo'te. It wasn't until John asked the question to the pair of Grindstone regulars that he spoke up, though his initial objections fell to the wayside in favor of not derailing the train of thought. If John was opening up, the time wasn't right to change the subject.
"I've only done a little reading on the topic," Warren lied. "I'm familiar with the concept of sympathetic aetheric patterns but that's about it."
Warren wanted to discuss the subject of the notes he'd left behind, and how what John was expecting to happen wouldn't be what he found. Patience, though. A time and a place.
"Whatever you've got to say, though... You're in good company to say it."
RE: A Captain's shoulder the grief (Open) - No Longer Exists - 05-11-2015
Oak's smile turned on Sam and he briefly expounded upon the more private discussion by simply saying: "Please make an appointment at your earliest convenience with my office in Sable Hall." Then he took a drink from the mug of ale while John retook the floor.
The question of aether sensing prompted the Doctor to lift an eyebrow curiously, even when Warren added his own information to the conversation. "I am afraid you will have to explain it to me, John." He said as he set the mug down and leaned forward to rest one elbow on the tabletop between them. Perhaps the Roe was playing dumb or maybe he was genuine, it was a simple social trick he'd picked up. In order to not make assumptions, ask simple questions from your patients and let them explain.
RE: A Captain's shoulder the grief (Open) - Star Lin - 05-12-2015
'Ok,' he thought. Warren has an idea about pattern in aether which actually means he wouldn't have to go to in depth with that. "I don't see aether, not in the way that everyone else does. For me, aether is vibration and I feel those vibrations with my fingers." He held out his hand, wiggling his fingers a little bit. "Everything has aether that touches it, leaves pattern on it, memories would be the strongest pattern that I can sense, when I'm not wearing gloves." He pulls his hand back, staring at them. "If I don't wear these, I would be awash in those memories and the stronger the emotion attached to the memory the better my brain reads the patterns, and then I'm able to 'see' them."
He didn't look up, not wanting to see the horror that his next statement would bring. "It's not just object either. I can 'see' the memory of people as well." He inhale deeply trying to steady himself. "I didn't know what I was doing was wrong not until sister told me. She put the gloves on me, telling me that I had to keep them on." His ten year old fever mind see what she wasn't telling him. That he had been bad for what he had done. "I...haven't taken them off, since that night...eleven years ago."
His hands tremble, still remembering that aching flash of pain as Eric die, tearing at him. "I found out something else about my aether." He clutch his hand into a fist, like he was trying to hold onto something. "Eric was dying and I almost had him heal. Just needed a little more time so I grab his aether, trying to hold it here but I couldn't get a good grip because of the gloves and his aether was torn away...some of my aether as well." He could still remember feeling his aether bleeding out from the wound, his mind chanting over and over that Eric was dead.
"But his death gave me something to work with on Howl. I could use my aether to hold his steady while the surgery was done, except that the gloves wouldn't let me get a tight enough hold on him. If he died on the table, it would have wound me, maybe even kill me a little while later." He reach for his glove, as if he was about to remove it. "I thought that I could hold his aether better. There problems with that thought, the least being that I would be that if Howl die then I would die instantly as well."
"The least..." Sam said, and John turn to find his friend was white as a sheet. "What would have been worst then death?"
"Worst, I would have been too lost in Howl's memories to realize what was going on around me," he said. "That meant that I wouldn't have been any help to him at all."
RE: A Captain's shoulder the grief (Open) - Warren Castille - 05-14-2015
Warren listened quietly as John worked through the tension and reasoning behind his reticence. He wasn't familiar with the sort of effect the miqo'te was describing but aether was a complex facet of reality; He wasn't sure that anyone really used or understood it in the same way as anyone else.
The highlander's brow furrowed at the implication of what he could do as being somehow a sin. Warren didn't object, though, and he kept his gaze neutral when John mentioned a death as well. It was only when he brought up surgery on Howl that the paladin finally spoke up.
"John, you can't remove the eye. This isn't a statement on your skill or ability, it is me telling you flat-out you are not permitted to. I went over your notes, and while your research and investment are noted and appreciated, it is not what you're expecting it to be."
"I hate it as much as you do - more, truthfully - but for the time being it isn't going anywhere. I've been doing my own research on the subject, but there's very little on the topic I can dig into without access to Ishgard or Her libraries. You can see the obvious problem with an outsider attempting to dig into heresies."
RE: A Captain's shoulder the grief (Open) - Star Lin - 05-18-2015
Sam glance over as he sees Doc Oak speaking quietly into his linkpearl. He turn to their group, murmuring a quiet, "I have to go." He nodded to the Doctor before turn his attention back to his 'Little brother'. He began to get a look of confusion when Warren started speaking. 'Eye,' he thought. What in the heck were they talking about and why did he feel that John was about to get in way over his head.
"I know," John said, hands clutching into fist. "Howl told me...some of what he and Lady Sei went through on the mountain." He look up at Warren, "I hate their master for what 'he' did to them...to all of them." He just hope that Howl was right and that Warren did kill him.
Warren was still doing research? He also seen that Howl or Sei had not run away from what was done to them. Yet they all reach out to him when he knew he didn't deserve it. Still if he left now, then he would hurt them...and himself.
Sam watch the emotion play across the miqo'te's face before it settle on a look of determination. He turn rolled his eyes as John stood up, only to kneel next to Warren. "Gods, you have to go Royalist?"
John ignore Sam, wanting to give proper and formal apologizes to Warren. He bow his head and place a hand over his heart, as he knelt next to Warren. "I have been both a Fool and a Coward, letting my curse blind me to the hands that have been held out to me in friendship. I do not know if I can truly make up for the concern and worry that I have brought on you and your own." He didn't dare look up at Warren's face, still afraid of what he might fine. "Let me try to make amends. I...I will inform Howl on why I fled from him the other day. What ever else that you might need of me, I will do so."
John could feel his heart pounding in his ears, sure that if the answer was 'No," to this question, his heart would shatter. "If these terms are acceptable, then all I ask is that I may continue as one of your healers at the Grindstone?"