Hydaelyn Role-Players
Community Full of Cliques - Printable Version

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RE: Community Full of Cliques - Roen - 12-18-2016

I am only going to specifically address trying to make RP contacts at an event or in a crowded room.

The scrolling chat can be absolutely nuts in these events. While I adore the possibility of spontaneous encounters, which is the reason I have gone to them in the past, I often find myself a little stressed while I am there trying to keep up with the chat, type in my own responses in a timely fashion, and then scroll back to see if there is anything I missed while I was typing. And this is just keeping up with those I know and are actively RPing with in that very moment! I do try and make the effort to scan the rest of the wall o' text to see if anyone I am not RPing with has approached/said/mentioned anything toward my character but I know that I miss a lot.

What I usually do at such events, especially if I am there with a character that no one knows, is that if I am approaching someone, especially without a tell beforehand, I try to find someone who is off on their own but is obviously not afk. They have emoted or moved or whatnot and are not currently preoccupied with multiple people. As I would normally do in real life, I don't usually interrupt strangers who are having their own conversation, and expect to be included immediately or at all. Approaching those who seem to be open and looking for such a thing usually gets a response though, I've found. And if you are approaching a group of people, send those players a tell to see if it is okay! This way you ensure that they see your emotes/approach or you know that you are not interrupting something you shouldn't. (Yes, RPing in public in /say should be a sign that others can see and react to it, but you really never know where an encounter leads after it gets started in a public area)

Also, I try to carry out my conversations a little off to the side where my emotes and dialogue aren't going to be immediately drowned out by everyone else. Then if someone approaches, I can see their posts more easily.

And as others have said, don't lose heart and just play what you want. Don't keep changing characters to see what sticks or who might be more popular. RP should be fun because you are playing who you want to play.

RE: Community Full of Cliques - Reylin - 12-18-2016

First off... I had to look up what a weeb was.  I learned something.

Second of all, it can be hard to get into groups.  I'm new to game and RP in FF14 and outside of my old EQ2 friends, I still haven't really met anyone outside of the Grindstone (All of which are cool folks to fight with) and nothing lasting.  It sucks to feel ignored and just know that, it isn't just a feeling.  But those that just flat out ignore people are in in the minority.  A lot of people are just either shy, or their character isn't that out going, or the player just flat out misses it.

Cliques are a definitely a thing, always will be everywhere.  It's just a matter of finding the one that "clicks" (HA!) with you as well.  With a community as big as this one, that can take some time to weed through it all.  Just hang in there, it'll happen sooner or later.  Also, feel free to poke me ingame, promise to respond and say hello maybe even RP! Tongue  Reylin Sephr.

RE: Community Full of Cliques - Thunderbolt300 - 12-18-2016

(12-18-2016, 04:13 PM)RavieRaptor Wrote:
(12-18-2016, 03:37 PM)Virella Wrote: Reposting this. Again.

People don’t owe you jack shit. If you can’t find roleplay, it is your own damn mistake. If you don’t have the social skills to pull of such characters, just don’t roleplay said character. Find a more suitable character concept fitting with your real life skill set. If you can’t pull off the “Insert random character trope in here”, guess what? Don’t roleplay it. You will be all the happier for it.

But ultimately? Get your whiny entitled ass out there and make your character interesting to interact with.

Now for you in specific.

Next to that. At a large event? Interactions? For crying out loud,  I was roleplaying in a Linkshell due to the spam. Lots of people were doing the same. The spam was ungodly to keep up with, and its about the only thing you can do keep things readable. Things get lost in the chat at such large events.

Make an add on the RPC, make a post on Tumblr, go poke people in game who look interesting for roleplay. Hells, use those events to whisper people like "Can we RP at some later date, your character looks nice!" and add them to your friendlist.

Don't blame others for your lack of roleplay. Get your big girl pants on and have a good hard look at yourself.

Next to that? Cliques are never an issue. Cliques are a natural thing. They grow smaller and bigger over time, disband and get remade. Because ultimately those 'cliques' are likely just to be OOC friends you can be a part of as well if you actually did some effort. Your lack of roleplay or friendships in this game is solely to blame on yourself.
See, unlike you, I actually have to approach people to let them know I exist. I've made all different types of characters over 20+, just trying to get people to notice me and accept me into their rp groups. I probably have spent over 100 dollars on fantasias and name changes alone. It's always different reasons: If you play a miqo'te you're a slut, if you play an Au Ra you're weeb trash. If you play an lalafell, you're not taken seriously. If you play a midlander, you're boring and unoriginal. These are the many conflicts I have that I've heard from others when I make my characters. I can't find that niche.

Man I dunno. I think it just takes time and devotion to a singular character. Breaking out into a community is a rather lengthy process- for me, it has taken several months of devoted play and outreach, and I finally feel like I'm about there. Still, it's not something that I've ever stopped doing. I don't think you can stop doing outreach and networking- it's like chasing the horizon. I can't say I've run into the problems you have, but granted, most of my networking is here on the RPC and in the FC realms. I don't hit the Quicksand or community eventus, usually. 

If you have a Miqo'te, I can offer some connections there- that's pretty low hanging fruit.

RE: Community Full of Cliques - RavieRaptor - 12-18-2016

(12-18-2016, 04:33 PM)Kilieit Wrote: Like... aight... lemme sit down and actually talk about this.

From what you describe, I think you're having problems a few problems with:
  • assuming "it feels bad (to not get responded to), therefore it must be bad (I must be doing something wrong, or people must hate me/my character)".
  • assuming complex reasoning ("there must be something wrong with my character", "they must have decided not to talk to anyone outside their clique") behind coincidental circumstances (not being responded to) without evidence to support that reasoning.
  • assuming that because something has been a certain way in the past (people not reaching out to you for RP) that it will continue to be that way until something changes drastically, and therefore that as soon as something looks not-amazing (people not responding at a big event) that it means it's going to be this way forever

Unfortunately, the solution to these assumptions lies not in other people, but in your own mind.

To be completely blunt, it's unfair to expect people - strangers especially - to cater to these assumptions. They don't know you, they have no investment in you as a person, and they have no reason to go out of their way to combat the negative paradigm you've come up with.

Like - if you start trying to RP with someone, and as soon as you talk to them OOCly they start going on about how terrible the RP community is and how much trouble they've had and how it must be because everyone's cliquey but you're not like that, it puts immense pressure on you right off the bat! You know as soon as you're ill or tired, they're going to take that as a personal slight. It's exhausting, and it's more than most people can be reasonably expected to do.

You need to have confidence in yourself, and in other people.

You need to have confidence that the character you're playing is solid, and maybe they're not everyone's cup of tea, but you're proud of it and that's what matters. You need to have confidence that if someone else doesn't like the character, that's their choice, and not something that reflects on the quality of your stuff.

You need to have confidence that most people, most of the time, aren't malicious towards strangers; and that most people, most of the time, are fairly happy to meet new people. If they aren't, it's not due to something wrong with you or some huge community-wide malaise, but due to individual circumstances - they're sick IRL, they're distracted by their kids/pets/etc, they're tired after a long day at work, they're having the same anxieties as you.
Yeah, that seems to sum it up. I'm always scared people won't like me. I've had past issues where I hung out with one person and lost a whole group of friends and got kicked from my FC cause of it. I didn't realize till later how right the group was about said person. Ever since I haven't really found a character niche to make for RP, as mentioned in my previous comment.

RE: Community Full of Cliques - Verad - 12-18-2016

What do your average posts look like? Can you give an example?

RE: Community Full of Cliques - RavieRaptor - 12-18-2016

(12-18-2016, 05:27 PM)Verad Wrote: What do your average posts look like? Can you give an example?
I can, sure.

The door opened slowly with a creak, when a small head poked from it. A small miqo'te with orange-red hair looked around, ears perked up as she noticed the person in the room. She scurried to them, her deep puppy-dog brown eyes looked up at them, flashing a bright fanged grin. "H-Hello there, Sir!"

RE: Community Full of Cliques - Verad - 12-18-2016

(12-18-2016, 05:30 PM)RavieRaptor Wrote:
(12-18-2016, 05:27 PM)Verad Wrote: What do your average posts look like? Can you give an example?
I can, sure.

The door opened slowly with a creak, when a small head poked from it. A small miqo'te with orange-red hair looked around, ears perked up as she noticed the person in the room. She scurried to them, her deep puppy-dog brown eyes looked up at them, flashing a bright fanged grin. "H-Hello there, Sir!"

Okay, good. You're engaging multiple senses, giving a decent visual of the character, and indicating a reasonable amount of personality with a brief stutter. I think perhaps the visual isn't absolutely necessary because we have reasonably decent avatars, but I would engage with this post.

And, in fact, I will. What days and times are good for you, and can you find a reason for this character to brave the Quicksand?

RE: Community Full of Cliques - RavieRaptor - 12-18-2016

(12-18-2016, 05:33 PM)Verad Wrote:
(12-18-2016, 05:30 PM)RavieRaptor Wrote:
(12-18-2016, 05:27 PM)Verad Wrote: What do your average posts look like? Can you give an example?
I can, sure.

The door opened slowly with a creak, when a small head poked from it. A small miqo'te with orange-red hair looked around, ears perked up as she noticed the person in the room. She scurried to them, her deep puppy-dog brown eyes looked up at them, flashing a bright fanged grin. "H-Hello there, Sir!"

Okay, good. You're engaging multiple senses, giving a decent visual of the character, and indicating a reasonable amount of personality with a brief stutter. I think perhaps the visual isn't absolutely necessary because we have reasonably decent avatars, but I would engage with this post.

And, in fact, I will. What days and times are good for you, and can you find a reason for this character to brave the Quicksand?
My character in that post is usually always in the Quicksands, mostly just eating or watching others around her. She doesn't have anywhere to go. I'm always available, just poke me if you want to rp. Her name's Khrys Relanah, but I have other alts as well.

RE: Community Full of Cliques - Edda - 12-18-2016

(12-18-2016, 04:13 PM)RavieRaptor Wrote: I've made all different types of characters over 20+, just trying to get people to notice me and accept me into their rp groups. I probably have spent over 100 dollars on fantasias and name changes alone.
Don't do this. Commit to one character. That is your biggest problem.

Making lasting contacts via large events is usually futile. Contact people you find interesting privately and schedule RP with them. This might take some trial and error. Keep throwing yourself at people you mesh well with and their friends. If you're compatible, then you will be able to join their clique, and then you too can stand around at events in a tight-knit group of people.

RE: Community Full of Cliques - Warren Castille - 12-18-2016

Don't create your characters by committee. If you're constantly trying to make a character that checks off boxes on someone else's approval checklist, you're never going to be happy with the result.

RE: Community Full of Cliques - Tiergan - 12-18-2016

I am going to just link this ancient thread here: Random RP: Sometimes You're Not Being Ignored On Purpose!!

RE: Community Full of Cliques - Faye - 12-18-2016

As others have said, the Golden Gala is not really a good example to gauge how easy it is to meet people at events. The chat scroll is awful. If you look away from your screen for five seconds, you can miss a post entirely, and the barrage of text is a lot to take in, so to spare their time and their eyes, rather than reading through every emote, most people just skim for the name(s) of the person/people their character is already talking to and read their posts and theirs alone, therefore they can miss a post from a person who unexpectedly walks up to them.

An hour is not a long time to try to find interaction when you're swapping from character to character, at least not in a place where so many people may miss your posts, or may take a few minutes to notice your character is standing next to their character targeting them and ask if you posted and scroll up to find your post. Others may be RPing with the people around them in /party or a LS to avoid the chat scroll, and may not even be watching /say and /em at all.

If you want to try to approach people at spammy events like the Gala, I recommend standing right next to them in clear view with them targeted, using their character's entire name in your post (i.e. "She walks up to Faye Covington," rather than "She walks up to the white-haired Midlander"), and perhaps sending them a /tell OOC to let them know you posted at them.

It's also important to remember that purely IC interactions aren't the only way to meet people. I was only at the Gala for a couple hours last night, and while there RPing of course with my RP partner, I also had two semi-planned walk-ups from two of my FC members, a walk up from someone I'd first met OOC via a shared linkshell and later began to RP with a few times, a walk up from an event worker offering drinks and food, and a walk up from someone I'd befriended OOC but hadn't yet had the pleasure of RPing with and whose character pickpocketed from my character, which led to an altercation after/outside of the Gala where my character had a few interactions with some more people both old and new. Barring perhaps my FC members, none of us run in the same usual social circles, so it was not the fortune of having a "clique" that brought me these interactions, but rather having pre-established OOC connections.

So on that note, on someone who does also know you OOC... make use of your pre-existing OOC connections. Even if you're looking for new people specifically rather than just RP in general, if you hang around people, you tend to meet their friends IC and OOC who may be strangers to you. Even as someone who knows you, I haven't really had any extensive interaction with you in the past year or so, especially not IC, nor have any of my close friends to my knowledge, even though you met some of them back during your time in HoD--that's not a complaint or anything or even a suggestion, just evidence that I don't think you've exhausted reaching out to every corner of the community here.

Jumping characters doesn't necessarily help find RP. If you constantly fantasia/namechange/retcon or alt-hop, people can forget or lose track of who you are. I'm not sure I even know your character name anymore, and probably haven't for a while. It can make the people you have built connections with feel like they're unimportant, or like they're wasting their time by interacting with someone who doesn't spend much time on the character they met or who will ultimately retcon everything. People who've enjoyed RPing with you and would like to again may not recognize your new character name and therefore may not walk up to you as they would have otherwise. And as for forging new connections, you'd be surprised how many people will approach you because they recognize your character name from your RPC posts or wiki, or because they've seen you around in the past and decided you were someone they wanted to meet.

Building up your name is a better way of meeting people than constantly building new characters to try to appeal to people. Play the character(s) you want to play and stick with them! A character that has more time put into them for past interactions and development will be more interesting than a new character created as an attention grab. This is a large RP community, so if you want significant interaction, you'll have to make your character appealing. (Also not sure if this is the case here, but I've seen people bail/alt-hop so quickly others didn't even have the time to reply to them or approach them if they'd even wanted to, so patience is key.)

And as my usual note--being here since launch, I've never had any problem finding RP, have never felt particularly ignored or outcast by the community as a whole, and have also never felt like a usual member of any sort of static clique (at least as far as RP goes). I think a lack of RP is a problem that requires introspection rather than pointing fingers at the community, as I wouldn't consider it a normal experience. If a sassy, socially awkward wallflower and subpar role-player like myself can never feel lacking for RP, then anyone can find RP.

RE: Community Full of Cliques - T'errin - 12-18-2016

I'm going to be very blunt and say that this thread absolutely boggles my mind.

I was at the Gala for a short period of time last night as well, I didn't really expect much RP and my intention was really just on gathering hooks for the possible future, since I was going to be going to the Grindstone anyway. I was completely floored by the amount of people just sticking to their small groups, and yes, completely ignoring those who actually tried to engage themselves in it. Let me emphasize this -

COMPLETELY IGNORING THOSE WHO ACTUALLY TRIED TO GET INVOLVED


I have no trouble saying that I had a bad taste in my mouth when I left, and am very glad that the people at the Grindstone were very different.

However, then I get on here, see this thread, and am once again floored. I can't believe that people are actually saying shit like "It's your own fault that no one paid attention to you.", "Don't go to public events to make contacts.", or "People usually use private channels at events.".

Like, do you people realize how outrageously dumb this stuff sounds? Then proceed to have the gull to tell them "You just gotta get out there."? Are you kidding me?

That's top of the line BS. If you go to a public event, then proceed to use a private channel at it, why are you even there? Yes, the scroll does get real, but that's a piss poor excuse to completely ignore /s and /em when you knowingly went to a public event. Hell, it's a piss poor excuse when you watch someone walk up to you and target you.

Yes, people who basically do nothing (Like I did at the Gala), but expect others to RP with them is silly. People who actually try to get involved, but get ignored? No, that's absolutely not okay at all, and there is zero justification for it.


I didn't expect this to be my first post on here, but holy hell this thread rustled me hard.

RE: Community Full of Cliques - Valence - 12-18-2016

I'm sorry if it sounds dumb or anything. I just stated the truth without any subjective value added to it.

That is the way things are. Maybe it's dumb. It's the blunt, honest truth. 


Note: smaller 'public' events are perhaps more suited to it. Although I feel like it's still trying to put a cart before horses.

Stop hurting yourselves and find a similarly minded FC. Find similarly minded friends. Then go out in the open and hurl yourself alone at a howling tsunami like the gala. It may mash you up to pieces, but at least you won't get out of it salty and broken since your whole circle of (potential) friends doesn't rely exclusively on it.

RE: Community Full of Cliques - Nodem - 12-18-2016

As seen from the replies... Yes, people will stick with the familiar, their groups, or their contacts. However, it doesn't always mean it's on purpose. NOT ALWAYS. Chat spams are real, and things are easy to be missed. I can testify that it does happen, just because of the chat scrolls.

If you think a post was missed, the best thing to do is to send a tell, "Hey did you see my post?" I often get tells like this from people, and either ask for a repost or try to find it. Finding it always isn't an option, so I'll ask for a repost normally. It's an up arrow or two for you, but might be a page of text for me.

Cliques are real, despite what people might argue, however the entire community itself isn't that way. What Warren said above is something good to take into account. Don't build your character(s) for other people, but for yourself. As a non-courtesan Miqo'te RP'er, I'll tell you if you want to RP a miqo'te, do so. As a non-weeb Au Ra, if you want to RP an Au Ra, do so. I don't do popotos, mainly because of the movement animations. Same issue with Roe's. lol.


Public events are great to go to to meet people. I'd personally suggest something smaller at first, like a tavern night. The reasoning is because there's less people and spam typically, so people have an easier time keeping up and are more chatty.

At an event like a Gala, I will say that even in real life people with stay with their cliques or groups in huddled corners of the world. They stick with the norm unless they see somebody else they know appear.


I do agree with T'errin on one major thing.
T'errin Wrote:That's top of the line BS. If you go to a public event, then proceed to use a private channel at it, why are you even there? Yes, the scroll does get real, but that's a piss poor excuse to completely ignore /s and /em when you knowingly went to a public event. Hell, it's a piss poor excuse when you watch someone walk up to you and target you.
It closes yourself off, and shows you're only willing to RP with a certain group. I know the spam can be real. I see it weekly. I get the reasoning, but it slams the door in everybody's face, especially if you're turning off /say and /emotes.