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+--- Thread: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? (/showthread.php?tid=19504)
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - EorzeanPartisan - 05-24-2017
I'm not sure anything has changed like others have said already. I'm not opposed to what I guess you would call "ERP". I RP an adult, and part of being an adult is being sexually active. It's OK, and not a weird thing. So when I hear "living in the world" I think that sex would be a part of that.
That being said, I don't play "flirty" or "fast" characters, though I'm not going to lecture someone who does. I've done storylines with people that have lead to romantic interest between characters, and I've also done long storylines that have ended in just strong platonic love. I'm OK with either. What is important to me is that people are happy and that the interactions are natural and make sense when all things are considered. I don't try and "manipulate" things too hard. My RL partner was in for a shock when he started RP'ing with me and realized that just because we were together IRL doesn't mean my in-game characters were always going to like him, much less be attracted to him!Â
Some people just like making level 1 characters and ERP'ing. That's fine too. It's not for me, but then it doesn't have to be.Â
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - Faye - 05-24-2017
Call me young, but I can't remember any times or communities where a good chunk of RPers weren't just trying to get their rocks off, barring very small spaces that were niche and/or private. The fabled ye olden days of ERP shaming don't exactly sound like a much more healthy environment, and I will say that a portion of people playing courtesans or looking for IC romance are not solely looking for ERP (and sometimes aren't even looking for it at all), but rather it's just part of their RP character that they like to explore--and sometimes ERP can even be used for just that, and not just glorified cybering.
To answer your questions, I do see this. I also see people who happen to ERP or play sexual characters but provide intriguing RP with or without the sexual tones. I also see great role-players who don't have the slightest interest in ERP. I see some amazing RPers and have no idea whether they do or don't ERP because they must keep anything like that discrete if it happens and I'm too busy enjoying the RP to wonder or care what they do in their private time. I see open world RP's and events and RP FC's and LS's that have nothing to do with sex or ERP.
If it's all that you're seeing, I wonder if it's because you're too busy staring at it to find or notice anything else. I'm not going to argue that it's not prevalent (maybe too much so), but it's far from all that's out there. I think sweeping generalities and doomsaying are time and energy better spent trying to find the RP that is catered to your own liking, and exudes negativity that can make people reluctant to interact. I do understand your frustrations and I've dealt with it, too, but ERP is not all there is, and I don't think pessimism is helpful. Keep at it; there is RP out there that you would enjoy. Keep searching for it, and don't fret over others RPing things that aren't your cup of tea.
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - Maril - 05-24-2017
I'm definitely in the boat of that not much has changed. Even back when I started rping, which is way too many years ago now, we would joke about how there's two types of rpers- those who admit to ERP and those who lie. It's not 100% true, of course, but I suppose it says something about how things once were. I think what's happened in Final, especially on Balmung, is that we don't per se have a goldshire and then an alternative that everyone else uses - Which is something that always puzzled me, since there's other tavern options very close by. The Quicksand in Ul'dah is an RP hub just as much for serious characters as it is for level 1 courtesans. And in general, there's a lot more peace and acceptance in our community than there are in some others/have been historically (from my experiences), so the things that were hidden away out of shame - not just limited to ERP - is more or less on full show.Â
But I would also hesitate to call those who purely seek ERP as roleplayers? At least when it comes to the level one variety. They're not something I see as a part of the rest of us, because the rules are different, IC/OOC is more blurred and self-inserting into your character is also something you see more. Aka people roleplaying as themselves. If it's the main goal, then honestly I see it as cybering. To me, the definition of ERP will always just be the erotic part of roleplay, a thing that needs to occur naturally and that some opt to skip kind of like how some opt to skip RP that involves a lot of walking. I find it a bit sad that perfectly good/healthy terms gets dragged through the mud and comes out of it like something regular rp'ers would no longer put on their resumé, because I see the need for RPers to be able to tag themselves up as one of the keys to having less ooc drama.
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - Flynn Rosenberg - 05-24-2017
I think it's fine to have this kind of reaction. I can't say whether RP has changed or not for other people, but for me it has and it comes down to what you're used to seeing. Before last year, most of my RP didn't involve as much sexual content as you would see today. Sure, my character got with someone around the start of 2.0, but that wasn't our goal. It just happened and we still continued with our stories. Anything ERP related, we kept it completely to ourselves. Before that, ERP and relationships were looked down on in the RP communities I was used to. I welcome them, but like real life I don't want it in my face.
After coming back to the RP scene after a break, it did baffle me going to events that were slice of life, fight clubs, tavern openings, etc. Roughly around 15 people. But when I was helping a new RPer in the game, we had a job done, got wounded, I took him to Bronze Lake to get healed (because that's where war veterans go), but there was a date auction (and orgy) there and it was literally full. I think I counted 50+ people, and I mean full as in you couldn't see the water. Lore wise, I found it disrespectful, but it kind of tells me is this what the majority of people are really into. Sadly this new RPer was uncomfortable as this wasn't what he was expecting or used to seeing, and neither was I.
TL;DR Your reaction is perfectly normal IMO.
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - Y'idya - 05-24-2017
Honestly that's just the kind of RP you expect to find when you hang around the quicksand or the alley behind it. Yes of course that's not always the case. But I wouldn't ever expect to see two people humping each other in the corner of the Canopy in Gridania.
But there's a big difference between seeking romance and just seeking ERP, though they do of course overlap at times.
It all just depends on what kind of RP you enjoy. Some people just like social rp and aren't looking for a deep story to throw their character in, and prefer just slice of life and social character development so finding love and making out is part of that.
But I think it just comes down to where you look. People that are already part of a FC or storyline aren't going to post on making connections, because they already have those connections, and like others said it's usually the ERP type of people that go through RP partners pretty fast and would have a higher need for finding new ones.
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - Vexander - 05-24-2017
I guess it depends. In general I've always found there tends to be a -location- in game where those looking for ERP over character-building/developing/growing-RP congregate. In WoW, that became Goldshire (for the server of Moon Guard). In FFXIV that became the Quicksands in Ul'dah (for the server of Balmung: I moved to Mateus and was thrilled to see the Quicksands virtually deserted).
I suppose the difference I see between Balmung and Mateus as far ERP goes is, I haven't see a lot of RP'ers on Mateus with ERP-related info in their search notes. In Balmung you'd see a lot of [M/E/RP] (Straight/Gay/Bi) and the likes. So for the most part on Mateus I see a lot more Search Notes that read, "Ishgardian Machinist, scar over the left eye," or, "RP'er, Walk Ups Welcome." Not that you didn't see those with search notes on Balmung, but it always seemed like the more ERP related part was included.
My personal opinion is to stay true to your character above all else, and that it is healthy both ICly and OOCly to have a diverse range of characters in a RP setting. A place like the Quicksands is OOCly healthy as it consolidates characters looking for that, 'two ships passing in the night,' kind of encounter, much as we have Clubs and the likes for that in the Real World. ICly its also healthy as it brings a kind of diversity to the RP community and setting that deepens immersion, because we have that same thing in the Real World.
You can have your Ishgardian prude who doesn't believe in Sex before marriage who would have a heart attack walking into Balmung's Quicksand, and that's pretty realistic in my opinion. As much as as an Ishgardian Youth who's felt sexually repressed all their life by their house's views on sex and the likes, who decides to throw inhibition to the wind and indulge.
So, to each their own, and I'd say, stick to the RP you like. As far as seeing girls with strings covering their breasts or guys naked except for a speedo, take it as a cultural thing or that the person is mad. Or possibly lost a bet. That's how my characters tend to roll. In most cultures beauty is a sign of power, so why not flaunt it?
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - Aaron - 05-24-2017
LTB GF. Will pay top gil.
(I've only seen stuff like that in QS like everyone else has said)
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - Hathaway's Flash - 05-24-2017
(05-23-2017, 09:23 PM)Lydia Lightfoot Wrote: For others, it's just one element of a fully-realized story arc. Our literature and media are replete with tales in which, even if the overall story has nothing to do with the pursuit of romance, nevertheless include characters who fall in love and deal with relationship turmoil (even if they really ought to be waiting for all of that until they've finished impeding the imminent resurrection of Carnage Emperor Zoglorth).Â
Your mileage may vary, but my experience has been that I get out of RP more-or-less what I put into it. That means if I want long-term character friendships and story arcs wherein the acquisition of love is but an aspect rather than a priority, I must be prepared to take it upon myself to provide that story arc, to seek out others who are of a like mind, and to keep at arm's length those who too readily seem willing to try and attach their character to mine in a manner which as her storyteller I'm not yet prepared to accept. I can't expect that others will change their behavior based on my own interests and expectations - we don't lack for roleplayers, so let them find their needs met with someone else, as I will.
This is pretty much spot-on. I figured I'd add my two cents, especially seeing as I've, uh, flat out stated my character's a prostitute. Personally, I didn't want to restrict myself to just doing "vanilla" roleplay scenarios, because I enjoy watching a relationship form between two characters over some period of time. I didn't want to box myself in and remove sex/ERP from my character's story entirely. Also I think watching him struggle with it makes him more interesting, since there's plenty of Miqo'te out there.
And yeah, I'm open to quick, one-shot scenarios. But does that mean that I'm trekking down to the Quicksand every night and getting lewd in public chat? Of course not. If it isn't private, if my partner doesn't fit, or if the scenario isn't written well, then I'm going to be less inclined to RP, no matter what kind of content's involved. But I like doing short little scenes occasionally, so I created a character where that was possible.
I can't say if it's become more prevalent, but I think in the past good writers might have been dissuaded from it because it was sort of looked down upon. I wanted to be upfront about it because I think there's a lot of writers/roleplayers who might want to try it but haven't, and I want people to know what they're potentially getting into. ERP's always been here. It's just more accepted now.
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - Vexander - 05-24-2017
(05-24-2017, 08:37 AM)Hathaway Wrote:Alas, pity you're on Balmung. I remember a few Courtesan/Prostitute RP'ers back in WoW, and they were the best ICly. I had a lot of bookworm type characters, so the prostitutes/courtesans were so fun to just gossip with and all. Also rewarding to lend a shoulder to when things got a bit too intense in their lifestyle. Never crossed the friend-barrier, mind you, but that was part of the appeal of that RP too, since crossing it would've felt like a betrayal of said friendship to my characters.(05-23-2017, 09:23 PM)Lydia Lightfoot Wrote: For others, it's just one element of a fully-realized story arc. Our literature and media are replete with tales in which, even if the overall story has nothing to do with the pursuit of romance, nevertheless include characters who fall in love and deal with relationship turmoil (even if they really ought to be waiting for all of that until they've finished impeding the imminent resurrection of Carnage Emperor Zoglorth).Â
Your mileage may vary, but my experience has been that I get out of RP more-or-less what I put into it. That means if I want long-term character friendships and story arcs wherein the acquisition of love is but an aspect rather than a priority, I must be prepared to take it upon myself to provide that story arc, to seek out others who are of a like mind, and to keep at arm's length those who too readily seem willing to try and attach their character to mine in a manner which as her storyteller I'm not yet prepared to accept. I can't expect that others will change their behavior based on my own interests and expectations - we don't lack for roleplayers, so let them find their needs met with someone else, as I will.
This is pretty much spot-on. I figured I'd add my two cents, especially seeing as I've, uh, flat out stated my character's a prostitute. Personally, I didn't want to restrict myself to just doing "vanilla" roleplay scenarios, because I enjoy watching a relationship form between two characters over some period of time. I didn't want to box myself in and remove sex/ERP from my character's story entirely. Also I think watching him struggle with it makes him more interesting, since there's plenty of Miqo'te out there.
And yeah, I'm open to quick, one-shot scenarios. But does that mean that I'm trekking down to the Quicksand every night and getting lewd in public chat? Of course not. If it isn't private, if my partner doesn't fit, or if the scenario isn't written well, then I'm going to be less inclined to RP, no matter what kind of content's involved. But I like doing short little scenes occasionally, so I created a character where that was possible.
I can't say if it's become more prevalent, but I think in the past good writers might have been dissuaded from it because it was sort of looked down upon. I wanted to be upfront about it because I think there's a lot of writers/roleplayers who might want to try it but haven't, and I want people to know what they're potentially getting into. ERP's always been here. It's just more accepted now.
Forced a lot of soul-searching.
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - ExAtomos - 05-24-2017
As others have mentioned; it's very much a ymmv thing. Some friends of mine can't walk ten fulms without being propositioned; I can plant a character* in the QS and only get regular RP every time. (I was actually just discussing this the other day in an attempt to figure out what /I'm/ doing differently that keeps ERP away so I can pass the secret to others. xD ) In my experience, the vast majority who only ERP aren't RPers at all, but are trolls (or close enough).
As an aside, been RPing online for 20 years... it's always been a thing. Of course, I did a lot of World of Darkness RP back then. But really? Many fantasy novels are full of sex scenes, so I guess ERP is actually important for immersion. xDDD
*Thus far, I've taken Mid M, Mid F, Aura M, Aura F, Roe M, Roe F, Miqo M, and Lala M. My search info does not include any RP types (E/M/D) and has some sort of hook for RP in it. I have both struck up convos and kept myself quiet. I've stood against the railing and wall on both sides of the room and have taken seats at the tables. The one time someone from the sex bench came in to the QS proper and tried to pull a "hey bby" in tell, I lured him to a back alley and my FC mugged him (dude seemed a good sport about the whole thing.) The only time my character's butt was grabbed was by a rando on Hyperion and the only person who used to keep asking me for cyber on Balmung isn't a RPer. (My testing notes. xDDD)
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - Sylentmana - 05-24-2017
I have seen it grow in recent months, but I honestly think it fits in well with a city like Ul'dah. In that way its become more immersive. I do have to be honest though. It kind of annoys me that two of my favorite races, Miqo'te and Au Ra, are the ones you see the most. They're starting to get a reputation in some areas, if you catch my meaning.
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - Vexander - 05-24-2017
(05-24-2017, 09:13 AM)ExAtomos Wrote: As an aside, been RPing online for 20 years... it's always been a thing. Of course, I did a lot of World of Darkness RP back then. But really? Many fantasy novels are full of sex scenes, so I guess ERP is actually important for immersion. xDDD
Makes me think of Game of Thrones. A lot of the sex scenes come off as superfluous at times, but as the plot goes on, it's rather amazing how, 'Who's sleeping with who,' really plays a role in the narrative.
(05-24-2017, 09:20 AM)Sylentmana Wrote: I have seen it grow in recent months, but I honestly think it fits in well with a city like Ul'dah. In that way its become more immersive. I do have to be honest though. It kind of annoys me that two of my favorite races, Miqo'te and Au Ra, are the ones you see the most. They're starting to get a reputation in some areas, if you catch my meaning.If Au Ra weren't added it'd just be Miqo'te. Clearly SE needs to add more races which fit that aesthetic. Let us welcome our Viera Overlords, hopefully in 5.0.
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - CuddlyBunneh - 05-24-2017
This is why 99% of Peccavi's Development is based around the friends that i joined FFXIV with sadly. While I do wish for her to have more outside contacts, that probably is not going to happen since most of the people who dare go up to her just want to ERP. Good thing Migrated to Balmung with seven people or else I'd never get my character in the direction I want her to go. T_T
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - Mercer - 05-24-2017
Love, sex, drama, violence are all important to Roleplay. It can become a head ache for us players at times but it's just as important to accept those themes. I am not advocating playing a hyper violent or sexual character, unless that is your thing. Instead, I advocate playing your characters that those themes will come up.
In it's purest form, RP is really improvisational acting. It is mimicry of real life in unusual situations and as such love, sex, drama, conflict, violence are all very real things that are cornerstones of the human experience.
RE: Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days? - Iron Bride - 05-24-2017
(05-24-2017, 03:58 AM)Faye Wrote: Call me young, but I can't remember any times or communities where a good chunk of RPers weren't just trying to get their rocks off, barring very small spaces that were niche and/or private.
Gotta agree here. I've been at this for... almost ten years, now, and can't remember a time where romance/sex didn't feature heavily in MMO roleplay culture.  Balmung's culture is fairly open about it compared to some servers/games I've been on, but compared to say, Moon Guard in WoW, Balmung is still kind of tame.  It all depends on your own experiences and perspectives, I guess.