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+--- Thread: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? (/showthread.php?tid=4331)
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - Tosheden - 09-06-2013
Well, there's seems to quite the number of suggestions in this thread! I had this same issue when I tried RPing during my short time playing TSW. However, this time around I'm going to attempt to put my neck out there a bit more because I've noticed the RPing community is more welcoming here. So that always makes it a lot easier for us timid ones. Funny how your characters personality could be the exact opposite of being shy until it comes to actually initiating RP.
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - Gideon Aryeh - 09-06-2013
This is for anyone who feels this way, definitely contact the people in this thread if you are on Balmung. Dogberry and Freelance Wizard are both excellent and welcoming roleplayers and you honestly can't go wrong with them or any of the others who have replied here.
If you are on Gilgamesh and feel this way feel free to contact myself or anyone listed as linkpearl holders in the Coalition OOC and Limitless Sky links in my sig below.
Ignoring is never ever a thing that should be in any rp community and its not your job as a new roleplayer to carry or feel forced to establish your rp with veterans. If you ever run into anyone who ignores you, make sure you immediately find nice folk who won't. Ignoring is deplorable in public spaces period. It's rude in real life and its rude in a game where we are roleplaying having real lives but in a different world. There are absolutely no excuses for such behavior at all and the rules of manners simply do not change because the medium of life does. One thing I can promise you is that the folk who spoke in this thread and the ones listed as pearl holders in the thread links in my sig will never do this ever. If you are on Gilgamesh feel free to send me tells and feel free to send me private messages on here anytime you wish to roleplay.
Run into someone who will ignore others in public without even an upset remark in character ?(out of character upset remarks would be totally uncalled for, sorry but they are. Don't want people engaging you in public, don't have so called private conversations in public. It would be the equivalent of getting upset for someone asking you directions or the time) Do not be discouraged, just keep it moving and find great folk who won't.
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - Reibees - 09-06-2013
Thankyou all for the replies! This community seems much nicer than the ones I had in WoW and Tera, I'll be adding those who offered for sure u w u)/
I appreciate all the suggestions, too, I'll try and look into an OOC LS and hope I can get into some RP that way. If anyone likes to they're more than welcome to add me ingame (I'm on balmung)!
My characters are Vesta d'Lycaon and Dilandau Vi'Azel, I'm always open for RP if asked or walked up to, as long as I'm not about to do a dungeon with a friend or smth. Q w Q
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - sanguineFenrir - 09-06-2013
The others have done a great job offering ways to resolve walkup anxiety--which I've read, but I thought I would share my own frustration and anxiety:
As someone who did work on one forum I owned, which was less "roleplaying" and more "long novel literary collaborative writing with only one other user", RP in other games has often left a bitter taste in my mouth. I do OOC a lot less here than I did in those other games, which does work out better for me, but I think that, in general, the "brevity" or quickness of individual /say replies in a lot of game RP doesn't help me.
Because of having to keep the pace for other people and being a relatively slow typist, I am afraid to make the long, descriptive, figurative posts that were so characteristic of my former writing. For one thing, I had the reputation of being a "show-off"(I'll freely admit that), and, for another, the RP goes by so fast that I can't feel the sensory details I rely on. So it comes off as stilted, and I stop. Crowded areas are very distracting to me, but planning everything is something some people decry as inorganic.
I still roleplay on this game, but with a constantly nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I am not living up to my own very high self-standard. For whatever reason, perhaps lack of practice or a change in emotional state, I have completely lost the ability to write except at a relatively basic, nondetailed, technical level, which outright infuriates me. I would go back into practice, but I have no reason to write, and even if I were to post things here, I would have to disallow input, because they may not have anything to do with the world at large, and I don't really want others reading my work until I can get my "power" back, if I knew how.
It's a vicious cycle, and it upsets me, because I know I can do better work than what most people see.
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - Orlog - 09-06-2013
I'm actually pretty terrible with this myself. I tend to stick around people that I'm familiar with when it comes to RP, so it's definitely something I need to work on! I know when I'm with a group, it's easy to just brush off being ignored, but when you're all on your own, it's pretty embarrassing and a little hurtful.
So, I might not have any suggestions to add to this, but I will say that everyone else has added some great ones, and I'll definitely try giving them a shot as soon as I can!
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - Otte - 09-06-2013
There has been some great advice on this thread, and many of them I consider doing when I calm down from my initial PvE spree. Hopefully I manage to pull out enough courage to engage people in some random RP.
Like some other I also have a problem of being terribly shy when approaching other people for RP. Because I usually go with less conventional means to portray my characters in the way I see them(for example using a female toon to portray a short effeminate man), I've gotten ignored quite a few times, and had my characters and myself ridiculed behind my back. This has made me quite wary of other RPers, and actually made me slow down and finally stop RPing all together. I've always wanted to get back to RP, but it's hard to get over the fear of being rejected, even if it's only in a video game.
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - Cato - 09-06-2013
(09-06-2013, 04:21 PM)Bea Wrote: I'm actually pretty terrible with this myself. I tend to stick around people that I'm familiar with when it comes to RP, so it's definitely something I need to work on! I know when I'm with a group, it's easy to just brush off being ignored, but when you're all on your own, it's pretty embarrassing and a little hurtful.
So, I might not have any suggestions to add to this, but I will say that everyone else has added some great ones, and I'll definitely try giving them a shot as soon as I can!
Heh, I'm in a similar situation. I've been so used to role-playing with a specific group of people that I've gotten a tad rusty where random interaction is concerned. I'm still trying to find my 'niche' in the community, though I suspect that's the case for a fair few people. I've just been forcing - and rewarding - myself for stepping out of my comfort zone.
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - Aedan - 09-07-2013
A couple of days ago I had never RPed before, so I suffered from the same nervousness. First RP I was privy to I was too scared to interrupt because it was a pair, but after that, I sent one an OOC /tell, and now I've RPed with them! So there's always that option. I'm also one those RPers who is constantly IC, even when alone, or questing and levelling, and sometimes I'll just send out a random /em to show that I am RPing and see if anyone responds.
Otherwise, feel free to approach me!
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - Fox - 09-07-2013
(09-07-2013, 03:48 AM)Aedan Wrote: A couple of days ago I had never RPed before, so I suffered from the same nervousness. First RP I was privy to I was too scared to interrupt because it was a pair, but after that, I sent one an OOC /tell, and now I've RPed with them! So there's always that option. I'm also one those RPers who is constantly IC, even when alone, or questing and levelling, and sometimes I'll just send out a random /em to show that I am RPing and see if anyone responds.
Otherwise, feel free to approach me!
I've rped for over 15 years now and I still get nervous sometimes with approaching people.
 Its natural and it doesn't matter on how long a person has rped, it can seem quite daunting no matter what. But! The community here is awesome and quite helpful.
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - cuideag - 09-07-2013
(09-06-2013, 04:49 PM)Theodric Brandt Wrote:^ Yeah, this is my thing. I've been able to make friends with a great LS so far but I've been struggling with getting myself going in terms of RP. I'm crazy shy IRL and it's hard not letting that come through in-game. ._.(09-06-2013, 04:21 PM)Bea Wrote: I'm actually pretty terrible with this myself. I tend to stick around people that I'm familiar with when it comes to RP, so it's definitely something I need to work on! I know when I'm with a group, it's easy to just brush off being ignored, but when you're all on your own, it's pretty embarrassing and a little hurtful.
So, I might not have any suggestions to add to this, but I will say that everyone else has added some great ones, and I'll definitely try giving them a shot as soon as I can!
Heh, I'm in a similar situation. I've been so used to role-playing with a specific group of people that I've gotten a tad rusty where random interaction is concerned. I'm still trying to find my 'niche' in the community, though I suspect that's the case for a fair few people. I've just been forcing - and rewarding - myself for stepping out of my comfort zone.
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - Rosekitten - 09-07-2013
I was thinking this the other day after only having a handful of rp interactions with the small still forming FC that I'm in. ^^; I get nervous around that group and they are people I know well, the thought of just seeking out random rp community members never dawned on me because I assumed it would not end well. Though this thread has some good advice in it..still not sure i'm really ready to just reach out to someone. >w< someday though.
It is very refreshing to see how supportive the community is as a whole though... after being booted from a FC (booted after waiting 2-3 months in the application process and right before they finally got around to ic interviews...) that I was going to join I've been sort of .. under the impression that rp'ers on this game were like any other rp'ers and having such high standards I might as well not bother. =/
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - Sigyn Shieldbreaker - 09-07-2013
(09-06-2013, 04:15 PM)sanguineFenrir Wrote: Because of having to keep the pace for other people and being a relatively slow typist, I am afraid to make the long, descriptive, figurative posts that were so characteristic of my former writing. For one thing, I had the reputation of being a "show-off"(I'll freely admit that), and, for another, the RP goes by so fast that I can't feel the sensory details I rely on. So it comes off as stilted, and I stop. Crowded areas are very distracting to me, but planning everything is something some people decry as inorganic.
I still roleplay on this game, but with a constantly nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I am not living up to my own very high self-standard. For whatever reason, perhaps lack of practice or a change in emotional state, I have completely lost the ability to write except at a relatively basic, nondetailed, technical level, which outright infuriates me. I would go back into practice, but I have no reason to write, and even if I were to post things here, I would have to disallow input, because they may not have anything to do with the world at large, and I don't really want others reading my work until I can get my "power" back, if I knew how.
It's a vicious cycle, and it upsets me, because I know I can do better work than what most people see.
 I always find myself typing too much too. And honestly, it's great when you're in a pair or a small group where you don't have to worry about A. Washing other people's RP away with a wall of text and B. People responding too soon or not waiting for you to finish.
I love my multi-para RP, and while sometimes I'll get into a mood where I can match others for their one-liners or three-liners (no offense to those of you who choose to RP that way; I -do- understand that with an avatar and /emotes and the environment already there for you, you can skip all the superfluous details), most often I sort of... gently encourage others to meet my pace. As often as one might feel obligated to post less, others can be encouraged to post more. It does good, I think, to give others a reason to 'step up their game' so to speak.
For all of you that are shy IRL and afraid of jumping in with people who might be too fast-paced or elitist or too busy to even acknowledge you, I should say that I suffered the same feelings, especially in WoW. I always felt like the best RPers, who wrote the way I did, were paired up or in House guilds (And I was terribly bored of Elven Houses in WoW), going along at their own little pace. While they -claimed- they'd accept walk-up RP and such, most often they were just OOC until they met up with a bunch of their friends.
I was terrified of even being on a forum; that people would decide they didn't like me here and it would carry over into character, based on how highly opinionated I can seem at times. I avoided all the forums until now. But really, like in WoW, I realized that I just have to keep putting my character out there. She's a fantastic character to me, although I'm a little biased, and I'm not a terrible roleplayer. I know this. And I'm sure many of you are confident in your skills, just not in the reception you'll receive from other players.
I'm not going to say I hate people that ignore me because I understand many of them are caught up in what they're doing or they're busy. That's not their fault-- whether it's because you're with friends and you've got tunnel vision or you're just not 100% focused on others, you're going to fall a little shy of the super focus on every single line or paragraph that -might- be focused on you. There are plenty of people, I'm sure, roaming around who'll walk up to you any time or take your walk up and you'll make new friends. It's important, regardless of whether you decide to meet up with people via pre-arranged meetings OOCly or you join a linkshell to try and break yourself of the fear. Be bold. Don't wait for people to come to you and don't be afraid of what will happen when you go up to them. They're just characters in a game with people behind the monitors, writers just like you. If they don't like you or they snub you, let it roll right off your back and keep going because there are other shy people out there like you who might not be able to get the reinforcement you can get from the RPC, who deserve to be RPed with too.
For those of you afraid that you're not going to be able to keep up with large groups, I actually did something in SWTOR that helped me quicken my pace a lot without sacrificing the size of my posts. I got a Cantina job.
I know it sounds cliche and so many people are like "Ungh, I hate tavern RP" but when you're working as a waitress or a bartender, you can write big posts and acknowledge people, help them build their characters and hone your ability to acknowledge multiple people without making them feel like you're rushing through them. It's also a good way to keep up to date on events with RP characters and make good friends.
You don't need to have a super social character to do it, just one that wants or needs a job or who is mildly interested in seeing how others are interacting.
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - LiadansWhisper - 09-07-2013
(09-07-2013, 07:01 AM)cuideag Wrote:(09-06-2013, 04:49 PM)Theodric Brandt Wrote:^ Yeah, this is my thing. I've been able to make friends with a great LS so far but I've been struggling with getting myself going in terms of RP. I'm crazy shy IRL and it's hard not letting that come through in-game. ._.(09-06-2013, 04:21 PM)Bea Wrote: I'm actually pretty terrible with this myself. I tend to stick around people that I'm familiar with when it comes to RP, so it's definitely something I need to work on! I know when I'm with a group, it's easy to just brush off being ignored, but when you're all on your own, it's pretty embarrassing and a little hurtful.
So, I might not have any suggestions to add to this, but I will say that everyone else has added some great ones, and I'll definitely try giving them a shot as soon as I can!
Heh, I'm in a similar situation. I've been so used to role-playing with a specific group of people that I've gotten a tad rusty where random interaction is concerned. I'm still trying to find my 'niche' in the community, though I suspect that's the case for a fair few people. I've just been forcing - and rewarding - myself for stepping out of my comfort zone.
I am so there, too. Â It's so hard for me to get involved with RP when I'm by myself. Â I just freeze up. Â :-\ Â Trying to get over it, but it's not easy. Â >.<
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - Arkghyom - 09-07-2013
To be honest, I just go for it. I love breaking the ice once in a while. Sometimes there's chemistry, and sometimes there isn't. When there is chemistry, I love taking my sweet time because I want it to be enjoyable. When I'm not in the mood, I let them know I'm OOC or that I don't feel like RPing at the moment with well-built lines of course. When I know someone is just being a troll, I just ignore or give them the cold shoulder.
RE: Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers? - Briaya - 09-07-2013
I'm usually shy and watch roleplaying from a distance because I don't want to intrude. Granted this is the farthest I've pushed myself with actually posting on a forum and such. Thinking back though I think the times I actually found RP is pushing myself.. Heck.. Do something simple and just find someone you know that RPs and just have your character say something or even do a wave. Who knows? You might be surprised.