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Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! (/showthread.php?tid=12956)

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RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - Sig - 08-18-2015

A note penned in simple hand had been stuck to the bottom of the flyer:

"Amateurs.  Let me offer a kindness.  In the vintner trade, we usually segregate the weakest cultivars at the end of the season.  We crush those sh---- grapes in a single press, and then slap a pretty label on the bottle, usually hand-drawn.  We market it as an "exciting new red blend."  It sells like wildfire. 

Now let me offer you the kindness and the secret behind any s----- red blend, no matter how its marketed - you need to water the actual product down.  That's the real secret - no one can taste or detect the difference, I assure you.  Give it a shot, and you'll watch the margin claw up.  At 5 gil, you're probably sucking in around 1-2 gil a pop.  I know street urchin who reap better margins.  If you're already doing it, put more water in the mixture.  

You owe me a glass of wine sometime, friends.  And make sure it's not watered down.  I'll know the difference. 

- Sigurd Sund-ste-i-gen."

Sig huffed under his breath, blowing a few strands of blond hair off his brow, fingertips affixing the note to the flyer, and then scooping the hair back behind his ears.  Amateurs were almost annoying as bangs.

RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - GloryRhodes - 08-18-2015

[Image: NxGdPX1.jpg]
BRONCO GREASE!
WORK WITHOUT REST!
FINISH THAT PROJECT!
STAY UP ALL NIGHT LONG!
ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE!
5 GIL A BOTTLE!


Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.


RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - Oscare - 08-18-2015

Oscare walks on by the usual wooden post of media, wondering whatever was up no -- wait.

After some shuffling under old newpaper clippings, the corner of a darkly colored poster caught his attention. And of course, there's another recognizable blonde. This time it was at least someone he expected to be up there.

"Miss Cliodhna Eoghan, yeah?" He rips off the poster, examining it from all angles. "Definitely less surprising than Edda. But I wonder where the heck these gals take their photos from." He mused aloud before reading the clearly bold print disclaimer at the bottom. "Oh," a disappointed tone rolled off his tongue.

He folds the poster and stashes it in his belt satchel with the others he so weirdly kept on him. There was something seriously wrong with this guy. He trots on away as if there was nothing wrong at all.

RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - GloryRhodes - 08-19-2015

FRESH FROM THE FRONT!
INSPIRED BY THE FIGHTING MEN AND WOMEN OF THE IMMORTAL FLAMES!
BRONCO FLAME!
[Image: SSuaIC9.jpg]
BEAT THE HEAT!
BEAT THE GARLEANS!
BEAT WHOEVER YOU WANT!
ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE!
7 GIL A BOTTLE!


Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.


RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - Star Lin - 08-20-2015

Kestlona open the paper, scanning through the news.  "Hm, not interested...oh, his job down the drain...Captain Mynhier in a leather throng..."  She pause, went back to the add, felt her face flush at the site of her Captain in all of his Highlander glory.  "Cliodhna...what did you use to talk him into that..."

****
Sam chuckle as he stares at the adds that were on the board.  "Oh this is great.  He is so going to get rib by all of the Flames.  John, you have to see this."

John frown, looking up from the latest notes he was working on.  "Sam, I'm busy," the miqo'te said.  He blink as he makes out several posters on the board.  Sitting his quill down, he comes over, and his face flushes as he sees for Cliodhna.  He swallows hard, thinking how good she looks...to Erik in that outfit.  He began to breath heavily, the robes making him feel far too warm.  He look...really good and his mind wonder what Howl would look like in that...outfit.  His young mind painted a very 'good' picture for him and blood began to trickle from his nose.  Blood rush from his head, the room spun, and he hit the floor, wearing a dopey grin on his face.

"Oi, John, you alright kid."  Sam chuckle again.  "Geeze, what are we going to do with you."

RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - Melodia - 08-20-2015

Melodia put her journal away and stood up to head out of the bar until she stopped in her tracks, the newspaper catching her eye. Well...not the paper itself. It was the ad. She picked the clipping up and read it.

Over and over.

She pulled her journal out and considered for a moment, wondering.

"Did I use this stuff?" Noting the fine print she gasped and folded the ad, slipping it into the journal she looked concerned.

"Did th' Bronco Grease cause me ailment?!"

RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - Cliodhna Eoghan - 08-20-2015

Cliodhna smirked, nose crinkling ever so slightly as she did so. Scanning the posters on the board down Sapphire Avenue was always interesting but this held more of a personal interest. After checking that there was a couple more around with the same images, she grabbed a small screwdriver and pried the nails out of the posters. There was only two and it seemed a shame to tear the image any more then the nails already damaged. "Then again, I probably could have just asked for a copy..." Murmurs to herself shrugging as she rolled both up. One would go in the hanger and the other, she was framing and putting on Erik's desk.

RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - Steel Wolf - 08-20-2015

Steel paused her walk through the streets of Ul'dah, staring absolutely agape at the poster. At the musculature. The form. The....curves...of things.

She blinked slowly, then sighed out of her nose.

Great, now I'll never be able to look the Ser in the eye. Or anywhere else, for that matter...

RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - GloryRhodes - 08-20-2015

NEW FROM DUBIOUS DISTRIBUTIONS
BRONCO ICE
[Image: gP0lXHk.jpg]
DRINK BRONCO!
KILL A DRAGON!
ON SALE AT THE GRINDSTONE
10 GIL A BOTTLE
A PORTION OF THE PROCEEDS GO TO SUPPORT OUR BRAVE FRIENDS IN ISHGARD IN THE DRAGONSONG WAR


Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.


RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - Jariana - 08-20-2015

Jariana strode brusquely along the dusty stones of the Emerald Avenue, her tail twitching angrily.

"Godsdamned pompous ass of a client!" she muttered under her breath. "Demanding to see me in full armor in this Twelve-cursed sun and then turning me away because I'm too Godsdamned short!"

The well armed, but diminutive Miqo'te growled as she turned onto the Ruby Road. As she marched toward the airship landing lift she continued her rant, "But it was 'urgent' they said. A matter of 'life and death'. Halone's icy tits! Over-privileged, soul-sucking, f..."

The Keeper paused as her plated foot came down on a scrap of parchment that had been fluttering about on the road. She tilted her head as she peered down at it, the irritation in her face melting into a wide smirking grin.

"Twelve be good! Is that who I think it is?" Kneeling down to pick up the scrap, Jari burst into loud laughter, drawing the stares of some nearby passersby.

"V'aleera Lhuil... That is definitely a side of you I never expected to see. Not that I'm complaining..."

RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - GloryRhodes - 08-21-2015

Dubious Distributions Presents
A New Sensation
[Image: HT6A5E8.jpg]
Not Every Warrior Fights
On the Battlefield
Energy when you need it
Energy for what you need it for
BRONCO TEMPTATION
Passion in a bottle
6 GIL
ON SALE AT DATE AUCTIONS


Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.


RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - Melodia - 08-21-2015

(08-21-2015, 02:42 PM)GloryRhodes Wrote:
Dubious Distributions Presents
A New Sensation
[Image: HT6A5E8.jpg]
Not Every Warrior Fights
On the Battlefield
Energy when you need it
Energy for what you need it for
BRONCO TEMPTATION
Passion in a bottle
6 GIL
ON SALE AT DATE AUCTIONS


Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.

LOL. *Looks at ad* THIS is the one I should have replied to yesterday. Wink

RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - Desu Nee - 08-21-2015

(08-21-2015, 02:42 PM)GloryRhodes Wrote:
Dubious Distributions Presents
A New Sensation
[Image: HT6A5E8.jpg]
Not Every Warrior Fights
On the Battlefield
Energy when you need it
Energy for what you need it for
BRONCO TEMPTATION
Passion in a bottle
6 GIL
ON SALE AT DATE AUCTIONS


Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.
Ququki simply holds it in disbelief...however is doing this Bronco must have one of the smoothest tongues in the realm. Dare she say the world itself.

"Well...there was a line to be crossed, and they went throught blazing. I'm just curious who's next!"

She then returns to her daily activities.

RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - Faye - 08-21-2015

(08-21-2015, 02:42 PM)GloryRhodes Wrote:
Dubious Distributions Presents
A New Sensation
[Image: HT6A5E8.jpg]
Not Every Warrior Fights
On the Battlefield
Energy when you need it
Energy for what you need it for
BRONCO TEMPTATION
Passion in a bottle
6 GIL
ON SALE AT DATE AUCTIONS


Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Grease Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Grease will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Drink at your own risk.

Faye stood before the poster of herself, studying it quite intently if the unwavering stare she gave it was any indication, chin rested thoughtfully between her thumb and index finger, blue eyes narrowed scrutinizingly. After a long stretch of silence, she finally spoke her verdict, "It's a blessing, for once, that Val cannot read well. He should be quite fond of the photo, at least. Perhaps too fond."

RE: Advertisement: BRONCO GREASE! - Telluride - 08-21-2015

The bard stopped at the alleyway's exit, his vision tempted by another... vision. Well, a poster, but now we're being silly.

"So, the different flavors are at different prices... and each flavor has a different cost... all right then. So, why is Cliodhna at five gil, and the Sultansworn at five gil, but Faye is at six? Is there some sort of inflation involved?" He stared harder at the poster, as the thought rolled around his head, storing a joke about Inflation for later use.