+- Hydaelyn Role-Players (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18)
+-- Forum: Community (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18/forumdisplay.php?fid=8)
+--- Forum: RP Discussion (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18/forumdisplay.php?fid=13)
+--- Thread: Cliques and RP Etiquette (/showthread.php?tid=10229)
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - sforze - 02-22-2015
People find themselves in fortuitous situations for a host of reasons. Maybe they joined the community at a good time, maybe they met the right people/had the right resources, maybe they had friends they came with -- you really do have to take that into account before you say "I did X and everything worked out for me!" The point of entry each person has into the community is going to be a little bit different at different periods of time. There's a gulf of difference between asking to have a place at the table the minute you show up (AKA: hay i'm new please open your circle to me and accept me uncritically and be my bff) and asking to have a fair shot at earning that spot at all.
The advice being given here IS solid, fundamental advice, ultimately. There's nothing wrong with offering suggestions, especially because I've asked for it and have benefited from a few ideas I hadn't thought of. I hope that others who have had similar issues have caught a couple words of wisdom that they didn't have before, as well.
As an aside, I also want to pause and say thanks to everyone who has reached out to me in light of this thread. I've had some better experiences since I made the original post and I still plan on putting myself out there and trying.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - IvikBlack - 02-22-2015
I've never seen you RPing in public. I mean, maybe it's just that your method of OOC first works better than other methods, because I have seen you shouting for your group. As far as I can tell, you have put in a lot of effort and you've probably earned what you have.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - Gone. - 02-22-2015
Though I'm sure the things I'm about to say have probably been mentioned, I'll throw this out there just in case:
I do not purposely ignore anyone that approaches me. Some may think I am, but it's usually not the case. When it comes to RPing with more than one person, I have trouble keeping up, much less in a crowded spot with dozens of messages being flung around.
I'm also a bit slower to respond which has put me on the opposite end of the spectrum. There's been times where I'm simply not given enough time to reply before someone walks off and leaves me a nasty, passive-aggressive /tell.
This is why I often find myself staying within my already sizeable circle, relying on word of mouth or pre-planned sessions (/tells, the RPC, etc.) when I'm in the mood to find someone new. Anything else is just too difficult and stressful most of the time, nor is tavern RP ever really substantial enough for my wants in the first place.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - Aya - 02-22-2015
I'm just going to say that you can use this as a platform to criticize the community and individuals whose RP you do not like as much as you'd like, but I am confident that you would find being patient, persistent, and positive to be more helpful in what you asked about in your OP.Â
Good luck, either way, but I'm more interested in trying to help, and much less interested in casting a far-ranging critical eye upon the community of RPers on Balmung. You can call that blaming the victim, or being insular, or whatever else negative you'd like, but that's the way it is for me.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - IvikBlack - 02-22-2015
Well, if the advice here works then the people who take and apply it shouldn't have any problems. But if it doesn't and there's an external issue... Well, there's always other games and communities.
I won't complain anymore either way, I've said my peace.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - sforze - 02-22-2015
I understand your hesitance, but I think it bears saying that you can be patient, persistent, and positive AND critical of how things are at the same time. Those concepts are not antithetical to one another. Part of being helpful and solving problems within groups of people, in my opinion, is being able to cast a scrutinizing eye inward as much as you do outward.
I understand why some feel defensive over this post and it really wasn't my intent to upset anyone, but I really do think people in the community are intelligent and can handle stuff like this reasonably.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - Tiergan - 02-23-2015
I don't think a critique upon the community means those of us who have been here for a while are 'bad' or assholes. At the end of the day, there's nothing wrong in being told that newer folks are having a hard time and that some of us could do a little more to help make it easier for the newest members of the community to find RP and feel like they're part of the whole. Even if it's just small things like RPing with a new person every once in a while or stopping by the Quicksand or making events that are more oriented around helping folks get to know one another instead of something more scripted and theatrical.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - Val - 02-23-2015
(02-23-2015, 02:49 AM)Tiergan Wrote: I don't think a critique upon the community means those of us who have been here for a while are 'bad' or assholes. Â At the end of the day, there's nothing wrong in being told that newer folks are having a hard time and that some of us could do a little more to help make it easier for the newest members of the community to find RP and feel like they're part of the whole. Â Even if it's just small things like RPing with a new person every once in a while or stopping by the Quicksand or making events that are more oriented around helping folks get to know one another instead of something more scripted and theatrical.
Agreed. If anything, we as older members of the RPC should accept this idea with open ears rather than shunning it because WE'VE found RP just fine. I'm not necessarily saying anyone here has done this, but it's always good to look at something objectively and consider that it may very well be a possible issue.
I know my FC generally keeps their doors open to newcomers, but not all would know that and that still makes it feel very cliquish when the person has to go TO the house to find RP rather than just hanging out in the city. I'd like to see more RP out in the world, or down city streets or even in other cities rather than centering it around the Quicksand. You can certainly find it, but it's hard.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - Tiergan - 02-23-2015
I personally would love to see the Adventurer guilds (or the Bismark) get some more use in other cities. It's kind of a bummer when my non-Ul'dahn alts have to head to Ul'dah for the brunt of most RP.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - Chris Ganale - 02-23-2015
(02-23-2015, 03:16 AM)Tiergan Wrote: I personally would love to see the Adventurer guilds (or the Bismark) get some more use in other cities. Â It's kind of a bummer when my non-Ul'dahn alts have to head to Ul'dah for the brunt of most RP.
Agreed. I had to shoehorn R'tahz into becoming a delivery boy just to give him an excuse to go to Ul'dah.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - Val - 02-23-2015
(02-23-2015, 03:16 AM)Tiergan Wrote: I personally would love to see the Adventurer guilds (or the Bismark) get some more use in other cities. Â It's kind of a bummer when my non-Ul'dahn alts have to head to Ul'dah for the brunt of most RP.
Seconded. It really needs to happen more.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - sforze - 02-23-2015
I'm doin' it. I'm gonna start parking my ass at the Drowning Wench until it becomes hip. You saw it here first -- I'm making it A Thing.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - Kage - 02-23-2015
So let me ask everyone this as I welcome suggestions for it, I've pointed out several reasons why sometimes it's easy to ignore or miss other peoples' emotes so would people have ways to fix that other than communication?
Because those types of things happen in all areas. It's not limited to the Quicksand, Ul'dah, or what have you other places.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - Parvacake - 02-23-2015
Here's a snippet from my FC's Rules and Regulations post that briefly touches on when one has a lack of RP. This is only the first part of it. (Thanks again, Ezhara)
Be Constructive, Not Destructive: It is understandable that sometimes emotions get the best of everyone. However, instead of taking out on your fellow members and friends, please maintain a manner of civility and respect, find solutions to problems instead of dwelling on it. Not getting enough RP? Try to think of why. When was the last time you approached or whispered someone for RP? When was the last time you went to a public RP hub and walked up to someone for random RP? Instead of bemoaning lack of RP, get out there and snatch some up! People are friendlier then you think!Â
We've all been there before, and I know how badly it can stink. Sometimes it's about perseverance. I didn't get any active RP until after I server transferred to Balmung about being in the beginning community on Gilgamesh from September to March. That's almost 6 months of dead end RP, trolling taverns, and other kind of RP that was sporadic or withered and died.
I've read through quite a bit on this thread and everyone has a lot of helpful input to give. A lot of suggestions and advice, many of which I don't think are meant to be harsh or critical just like I don't think those coming forth are playing the victim. So best to knock that crap off while it's ahead on both ends. It's just making people look bad.
Now. With that being said.
Towards the comments about the community needing to do something as a whole about this...
One thing to always keep in mind is how many individuals have limited amounts of time on the game. To do runs, to do things with friends or FC members, craft, PvE, PvP, etc. Some of us can stay on the game for hours and hours every single day save when we work or go to classes. Personally I've been in-between jobs and won't be able to job hunt until I move so it's left me with more time then before just sitting here twiddling my thumbs. It's also given me more time to stop and look around for a change.
For many of us, it's hard to squeeze in anything new with new characters and their stories. Especially for those of us with limited time to get everything taken care of with those we already share stories with and are associated with. It's not anyone's fault, just the way things are with any community. If someone can manage the time for it, great! But don't get mad for those who can't.
New people themselves: There's always this struggle with any game and any community. I've seen it in WoW. GW2. TESO. Aeon. Rift. Everquest. The hardest thing is the beginning establishment phase which can vary in difficulty based on the kind of character you have, the setting you're in, the lore, and finally the community itself.
With how big we are as a whole (since I know TONS of non RPC folks as well as RPC), there are plenty of fish in the sea. Someone misses your post? Wait a minute or two, send a whisper. If that doesn't work? Move on. They're obviously distracted with alt tabbing, whispers, chat spam, or are too focused and best not to be bothered anyways. Don't take offense, just move onward. For a dozen people that can't make time there are a dozen more who are clawing at the chance to find someone just like you.
RE: Cliques and RP Etiquette - sforze - 02-23-2015
(02-23-2015, 03:26 AM)Kage Wrote: So let me ask everyone this as I welcome suggestions for it, I've pointed out several reasons why sometimes it's easy to ignore or miss other peoples' emotes so would people have ways to fix that other than communication?
Because those types of things happen in all areas. It's not limited to the Quicksand, Ul'dah, or what have you other places.
We live in an imperfect world where mistakes happen and sometimes messages get missed. There's no way to fix it so that 100% of the people are always there and responsive 100% of the time, without fail, but patience and PMing people seems to be a good first bet.
I personally filter my tabs to put my FC/linkshells into a separate window so I can monitor multiple things at once and easily parse through the junk when chatscroll becomes a problem. I also try not to AFK in known public RP places or move myself if I plan to alt+tab and not monitor my screen. I also benefit from a dual monitor setup to where if I alt+tab to check something, I can keep an eye on things on the other screen, so that's pretty helpful. If I come back and see someone is sitting at the same table/looking at me/etc., I immediately apologize OOC out loud to announce I'm back and then try to find if anything's been said. Easy stuff, really.