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The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Printable Version

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RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Gone. - 02-09-2015

It's also possible to be too disconnected, though, to the point that a character no longer feels like an actual person. There's nothing wrong with putting some of your first-world experience into a character; it helps give them life, believability. Sure, the line has to be drawn somewhere, but replacing an extreme with another extreme doesn't work, either.

This same scenario can also lead to one of my biggest IC/OOC pet peeves, and that's shirking responsibility by using 'IC' as an excuse for landing on subjects that some are likely to take personally. Roleplay is not a legitimate excuse for being insensitive to those around you.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Kinono - 02-09-2015

(02-09-2015, 06:46 PM)A'mon Vespar Wrote: Just to help pull this back into topic, I haven't read all the replies yet, but this boundary line referring to relationships or other things?

Everything, really. Relationships are the biggie, but it's definitely not unheard of for IC slights/arguments to be taken OoCly.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Reshie - 02-09-2015

I view the IC/OOC boundary as being a very simple and very clear divide for me. This is a character who I am playing to match their own distinct personality. Are there parts of me in this character? Yes because I can't play something I don't understand but that being said I am not that character. I had a lot of issues in SWTOR with people feeling that I was my character and it caused a lot of problems that have made me a little gunshy about RPing. That being said, I view the character as the character. You are not your character and I am not going to assume such. Just because the characters are friends does not mean you are my friend OOC and we're all buddy buddy. That's just not how it works.

I don't mind OOC communication but traditionally that communication stays about the characters and their interactions. If a friendship forms, okay, but when that happens the lines are clearly drawn especially if the other person is a male. I've encountered too many people who live through their characters and it bleeds into OOC conversations and feelings.(This tends to be more with RP relationships than just character friendships and/or business relationships but the same applies for all instances) I make it very well known that I am in a serious relationship so if I see something I deem to be a mixing of OOC, it is brought up with a clear warning of "No. This is not appropriate and this will not happen." If I end up with someone who causes me more stress than my day to day life or who I start avoiding like the plague because of something they are doing, something has to be said about it. You don't have to be rude about the warning but it needs to be clear and direct. No beating around the bush or hinting because that causes issues of its own. If I see it a second time, I end the contact. I won't risk my relationship or my sanity over RP. I've had to learn to be very strict about this particular thing. I know it's kind of harsh and a lot of people don't agree with it but in my experience being nice about it or trying to just push it to the side doesn't work. It only gets worse with time until you end up with a much bigger mess than it ever should have been.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - SicketySix - 02-09-2015

(02-09-2015, 10:04 PM)Kinono Wrote:
(02-09-2015, 06:46 PM)A'mon Vespar Wrote: Just to help pull this back into topic, I haven't read all the replies yet, but this boundary line referring to relationships or other things?

Everything, really. Relationships are the biggie, but it's definitely not unheard of for IC slights/arguments to be taken OoCly.

How odd, I can understand the lines of a romance/erp blurring the lines, but never IC arguments.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Kinono - 02-09-2015

(02-09-2015, 10:09 PM)A'mon Vespar Wrote:
(02-09-2015, 10:04 PM)Kinono Wrote:
(02-09-2015, 06:46 PM)A'mon Vespar Wrote: Just to help pull this back into topic, I haven't read all the replies yet, but this boundary line referring to relationships or other things?

Everything, really. Relationships are the biggie, but it's definitely not unheard of for IC slights/arguments to be taken OoCly.

How odd, I can understand the lines of a romance/erp blurring the lines, but never IC arguments.

Sadly, I'll totally admit to having previously acted coldly to people ICly who I did not like OoCly. It wasn't so much about bleed, I don't think, more just... "I want this social interaction to be over with." That could be argued, obviously, but that's just my own experience. I try not to do that anymore, because I know it comes off as extremely childish as opposed to just excusing myself and leaving.

Typically if there's IC drama a-stirrin', it's with people who are familiar with me and know that what happens IC changes nothing OoCly, hell, I'll probably poke fun at it myself later. If something does happen with someone who I'm not as familiar with, I try to send them some confirmatory tell at some point during or after thanking them for the RP and apologizing for my character's action so they know there's no hard feelings. Most people are totally okay with it.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Enla - 02-09-2015

(02-09-2015, 10:09 PM)Amon Vespar Wrote:
(02-09-2015, 10:04 PM)Kinono Wrote:
(02-09-2015, 06:46 PM)A'mon Vespar Wrote: Just to help pull this back into topic, I haven't read all the replies yet, but this boundary line referring to relationships or other things?

Everything, really. Relationships are the biggie, but it's definitely not unheard of for IC slights/arguments to be taken OoCly.

How odd, I can understand the lines of a romance/erp blurring the lines, but never IC arguments.
It does happen. Knew someone in another game who was dropped from RPing with a certain group because their character no longer had any interest in being with this other player's character. It caused all sorts of drama as the other person took it as a personal insult that their character wouldn't be getting their jollies off with the first person's and made things tense in the groups that interacted with theirs for awhile as well.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Knight Kat - 02-09-2015

(02-04-2015, 02:08 PM)Ckayah Polaali Wrote: With conflict RP of any sort, you really, really have to trust the people you're RPing with if you do it freeform. You have to trust their (and your) commitment to the story, and trust that whatever they do they do for the benefit of the story. If you can't, that's a sign you should suggest using some sort of randomizer to resolve things. This doesn't just apply to combat, it could apply anywhere.

To help get the thread back on track, I went back and reread a few pages. I want to put kudos and emphasis on this quote. The best way for people to not blend IC/OOC during a conflict of any kind is trust and OOC cooperation in the telling of a story.

When people start trying to beat another character with their character, it becomes a contest that can end up on an OOC level. I unfortunately speak from experience. Lesson learned.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Kurt S. - 02-09-2015

(02-09-2015, 09:37 PM)hauntmedoitagain Wrote: It's also possible to be too disconnected, though, to the point that a character no longer feels like an actual person. There's nothing wrong with putting some of your first-world experience into a character; it helps give them life, believability. Sure, the line has to be drawn somewhere, but replacing an extreme with another extreme doesn't work, either.

This same scenario can also lead to one of my biggest IC/OOC pet peeves, and that's shirking responsibility by using 'IC' as an excuse for landing on subjects that some are likely to take personally. Roleplay is not a legitimate excuse for being insensitive to those around you.

Aye, I guess I never thought about that at all.

But well that's my method at least and I'm not too disconnected seeing as I still get salty OOCly sometimes when some other guy does shit to my own characters. Especially when they're not really on good terms, though I swallow it and still try to have an amiable conversation with the player behind the character. And I'm not saying I don't put my view point into them, a lot of their opinions stem from me and I just tweak them to fit the world.

It's just the really strange parts like trying to maintain Ramona's heterosexuality that I have to be a little more disconnected with. She wants a guy after all and I'm a straight guy. 

And this is more to just help me keep in mind that even though they have a parts or huge chunks of me in them, they're still their own characters and they don't know what the other knows. While keeping me aware that I'm not Kurt, not Keil, not Ramona, I'm all three of them but not at the same time. 

I should probably get some breakfast.... I'm sure I didn't make any sense.

EDIT Very bottomline: I use the fact that I have alts as an anchor in the clouds to stop me from falling in too deep. Otherwise I'd very irritated, annoyed and pissed with a few other members here. XD It helps me compartmentalize the emotions I feel when interacting with certain characters. Otherwise I basically am Keil, Kurt or Ramona when I use them. I wont lie it bleeds out into OOC and then I just remind myself I have other characters. When the bleed gets too bad I just shut up OOCly...which, now I realize is probably something I shouldnt do.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Ashe - 02-09-2015

I agree with all the people who say that communication is key.  Usually I am either talking on TS with FC mates or Party Chat while RPing with people to make it clear that any IC intentions I have are just IC--not OOC.  

Admittedly it makes me uncomfortable when I try to establish something OOC (i.e. a boundary) that is completely ignored.  When that happens I will just tend to write that person out as someone who isn't mature enough to handle two separate identities (their own and their character).  

I have always tried to make my characters are different from me as possible--this includes in my writing outside of FFXIV.  That's why I tend to RP male characters.  It sets up an OOC boundary from the start, in my opinion....that and I just tend to write male characters better >.<  
But yeah.  I really do think that communication OOCly is key and if someone is unable to handle two separate things (IC/OOC) and keep them separate, they shouldn't be RPing....

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Berrod Armstrong - 02-10-2015

(02-09-2015, 02:43 PM)Flashhelix Wrote:
(02-09-2015, 08:36 AM)Berrod Armstrong Wrote:
(02-09-2015, 08:11 AM)Mamushi Wrote:
(02-09-2015, 06:37 AM)Eleni Wrote: But, erm, I'm not sure I understood what you mean by the spoliers in your last sentence. Undecided
Its just a pet peeve of mine. Players that use the term 'mature' but seek rp of a sexual nature almost exclusively are trashy in my opinion. Its like a prostitute calling themselves an escort to make what they do seem legitimate.

(I was supposed to go to bed hours ago, I apologize if this response is unclear.)
Juuuuuuust as an aside, that statement is a bit uh. Well, offensive. Escorts/sex workers in general are legitimate in areas where they are legal. The career is no less legitimate than any other, as it's up to the worker to decide what they do with their bodies. This is speaking as someone who has willingly worked in the sex industry.

That's all well and good, but we're talking pretend prostitutes played by creepy guys on the internet, not real sex workers.
Which is why I'd prefer the comparison not be made.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Kinono - 02-10-2015

(02-09-2015, 10:52 PM)A Ashe Wrote: Admittedly it makes me uncomfortable when I try to establish something OOC (i.e. a boundary) that is completely ignored.  When that happens I will just tend to write that person out as someone who isn't mature enough to handle two separate identities (their own and their character).  

It's embarrassing how much this has happened to me. I was worried I wasn't being clear or forceful enough at first but it eventually got to the point where I accepted that many people, unfortunately, don't want to listen. 

When I was first trying to branch out more, I went to the Quicksand, as many are likely to, to try to meet new people. So many times I met people only interested in one thing and every time I'd state OoCly "I don't want this thing for this reason and this reason and this reason."

Not a one of those people stopped until I started ignoring them or just left.

Kino doesn't go to the Quicksand anymore.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Chris Ganale - 02-10-2015

(02-10-2015, 04:19 PM)Kinono Wrote: Kino doesn't go to the Quicksand anymore.
It's just a shame there's really no other major hubs to meet people in, because when I feel like fishing for some RP with Chao I really don't have much in the way of options of where to go. And that's not even considering that her story basically has her living in Ul'dah for now.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Gegenji - 02-10-2015

(02-10-2015, 04:42 PM)Chris Ganale Wrote:
(02-10-2015, 04:19 PM)Kinono Wrote: Kino doesn't go to the Quicksand anymore.
It's just a shame there's really no other major hubs to meet people in, because when I feel like fishing for some RP with Chao I really don't have much in the way of options of where to go. And that's not even considering that her story basically has her living in Ul'dah for now.

The other recommendation is to utilize the RPC!

Make a post in the Making Connections forum and tell people the sort of stuff you're looking to do with your character! Then you can plan a way to have your character bump into another person's character. Communication, as always, is key here - laying ground rules for what you would and wouldn't like to do will ensure you get the folks you'd be most comfortable with responding.

You could also start an open RP thread down in Town Square, see if you can't get some forum-based interactions going that could ultimately segue into the game itself.

And there's always the events set in the calendar on in the Events section. Usually there's a good description of what event is when and what will go down in it. Even if it's just attending a pilgrimage to learn a little bit more about one of the Twelve, you have a chance for interaction.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Chris Ganale - 02-10-2015

Well....I fish on Chao (and very rarely at that anymore) instead of try to open a connections thread here because A) I have a tendency toward unnecessary and strangely-termed description which typically comes off as passive aggressive and B) I've already been attacked three times in two days by the lore police with her.

RE: The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way - Kellach Woods - 02-10-2015

(02-10-2015, 04:42 PM)Chris Ganale Wrote:
(02-10-2015, 04:19 PM)Kinono Wrote: Kino doesn't go to the Quicksand anymore.
It's just a shame there's really no other major hubs to meet people in, because when I feel like fishing for some RP with Chao I really don't have much in the way of options of where to go. And that's not even considering that her story basically has her living in Ul'dah for now.

This is something that really, truly, absolutely, irritates me to no end.

If you do not care for the Quicksand, there are MYRIADS of unused places you can make into potential RP hubs. Settle on one, go chill there, inform others so that they know hey we don't have to go to the Quicksand anymore.