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+--- Thread: Atempt at Au Ra backstory (/showthread.php?tid=11543)
Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Aven - 05-10-2015
Given how little Lore is available for them, i have taken a shot at a character back story. i would like some opinions and critique before i move it over to my wiki. I hope you enjoy!
Aven is a Xaela Au Ra who has wandered long and far from his homelands. In his teenage years, his nomadic family was slain by a rival family. He took an arrow through his chest and was left for dead. Aven was extremely lucky to have the condition of Situs Inversus (which he had no knowledge of) so the arrow had only priced his lung and not his heart.
               Aven was on deaths door and for a moment he might have actually died, but a wandering conjurer had seen the conflict and rushed to the site after the attackers had looted and fled. The conjurer healed his wound and left before Aven ever saw his face. Though the wound was healed a scar forever remains upon his chest.
               (depending on Au Ra Naming conventions, if Aven does not fit, he would have discarded his old name in his shame of defeat. He would have picked up his current name over the course of his travels.)
               His family and friends now gone, he was wracked with guilt for being the sole survivor. He lay among the fallen until his hunger clawed at him from the inside. When he could bear it no longer, he took up a broken sword and headed out to hunt. Everything he did felt numb, he moved and acted only to survive. He wandered away from the scent of death that lingered heavy in the air, his guilt still hanging heavy in his heart. Eventually he found himself far outside of Au Ra lands and found himself in Hyr territory. He was feared and was chased away from the town. He lingered on the outskirts doing what he could to survive, stealing food and new clothing.
               One day monsters attack the town (ill figure out what latter) While the guards had it mostly under control, a wall was broken and many civilians were endangered. Aven leapt into action not thinking of his own safety. He held off the creatures protecting those he could until reinforcements arrived. The family he saved vouched for his bravery and Aven was allowed to be among the town. He worked any odd job he could find gathering gil, equipment and food. His martial prowess did not go unnoticed either. He trained to join their guard and put forth great effort to show his loyalty.
               To hide his abnormal appearance he commissioned and suit of black plate armor which he wore day in and day out. He was intimidating in appearance but many of the villagers knew of his caring attitude and willingness to help. He found his larger size and great strength lended him to use a great sword of axe, wielding the large two handed weapons to devastating effect against the local threats.
               One day a Coerthan hunting party came through the town. They said they were hunting dragons and heretics. Fearfull of his life and his reptilian nature, Aven fled and resumed his nomadic lifestyle. He kept his armor donned whenever he thought he might be seen as to keep his identity and race safe.
               He hated his own cowardice, and he hated his weakness that forced him to hide, so he began to see out ways to become stronger. He wanted strength to protect what he cared for. Strength to be free of anyone who would oppress him, and strength so that one day he might find those who slew his family and send them to the void.
               (Depending on how lore breaking it is, I know there are only a limited number of dark knights, so I have been trying to find a way to make him dark knightesque. My idea Is that his near death experience put him on the edge of the void without making contact with it. This experience gave him an affinity to dark magic and allows him to wield it alongside of his sword play.)
Please give helpful feedback and critique, and thank you for taking the time to read my silly stories.
Edit: changed White mage to Conjurer
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Cailean Lockwood - 05-10-2015
Definately not bad.
However, some people would most likely point out that it couldn't have been a White Mage that aided him, because of the White Mage lore. Apparently, only Padjali and The Hero of Light are able to be real White Mages, as everyone else attempting to be so turns insane. But that can easily be corrected by saying a Conjurer came for his aid. ^^
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Seye Qhesu - 05-10-2015
(05-10-2015, 12:55 PM)theincubuslord Wrote: Definately not bad.I agree. Just changing it to a conjurer will be an easy fix to all the heavy lore nuts ready to jump at their meal.
However, some people would most likely point out that it couldn't have been a White Mage that aided him, because of the White Mage lore. Apparently, only Padjali and The Hero of Light are able to be real White Mages, as everyone else attempting to be so turns insane. But that can easily be corrected by saying a Conjurer came for his aid. ^^
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Aven - 05-10-2015
Ok, change has been made. I had heard about that being a problem for some people. I feel like the job lores are terribly exclusive.
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Cailean Lockwood - 05-10-2015
(05-10-2015, 01:24 PM)Aven Wrote: Ok, change has been made. I had heard about that being a problem for some people. I feel like the job lores are terribly exclusive.
Totally agreed. ^^
Anyways, your story is nice. Good job.
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Aaron - 05-10-2015
Normally id call it the cliche lone survivor emo that's been overused. (IM NOT DONE YET)
BUT! (SEE I WASN'T GOING TO PICK ON YOU)
Given the Xaela lore your story is a lot more believable then some of the stuff I've heard. I like it.
Only issue is the void part. I don't think dark magic is synonymous with void magic as technically anything that doesn't help something can be dubbed /dark/ depending on the people.Â
Other than that it sounds perfectly fine.
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Aven - 05-10-2015
Thank you for the honest feed back. With the lore i was trying to come up with a way for the character to sort of suddently show up haha. Hes actually not that emo of a character, hes taken what has happened to him and tires to be stronger because of it.
as for the Dark knight stuff. It has me stumped. I am completely open to suggestions on it. I just know after playing paladin and warrior as my main two classes while i was playing earlier, that i am going to love DK. I really wish there was more lore available for the Au Ra. I will probably do a total rewrite once the base lore is fleshed out more.
oh also when i say dark magic, i mean magic useing the element of darkness/shadow. Its also part of why the character has an aversion to harsh sunlight. He prefers the cool and calm of night.
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Aaron - 05-10-2015
I see what you're getting at. I think the lore will be released through in game texts tbh so you'll have to wait till HW.Â
Though. If you want to make a emo character do let me know. Apparently im a pro at making those xD.
As for the shadows/darkness magic. I've always wondered how exactly shadows and darkness harmed people. Is it like similar to burning people with fire? Or shocking someone?
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Aven - 05-10-2015
hmmmm never thought of that. To me Darkness magic has always been conjuring it into a physical form like a blade or barrier, or i guess i could be associated with cold. Also stuff like energy drain or illusions. But I must admit, you made me think on it.
Could also be a chaotic energy that hits with force? again just brainstorming, Also will have to see what spells DK's actualy get.
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Aaron - 05-10-2015
It is thought provoking! Light/dark elements always confused me about how they actually hurt things.
Well. I know from vampire stories etc light is like holy fire to darkness. But darkness is just basically one of those elements where you don't know how it feels but its apparently bad.
A blade feeling sounds legit though. Maybe even like being suffocated or feeling like you just acquired a flesh eating disorder.
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Meena - 05-10-2015
I would still however wait for naming conventions due to the fact that even miqo'te who do not live with thier tribes still keep their ancestral names.
You have to remember most names in this game are tied to religious believes. I think that names for Xaela will be tied to moon father and sun mother and such. :3 only have to wait a small while longer for them too.
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Lilia Lia - 05-13-2015
It's not bad! I'm happy to see people attempting original Au Ra backstories that are based in the lore as opposed to being stories of how their Miqo'te was transformed into an Au Ra.
I only have a couple of criticisms that I'm comfortable giving. Both are based on the principle of trying to cut back on things that distinguish your character without really adding anything of value. There's nothing wrong with being "special" or "unique" but there are times where it's good to cut down on these in order to balance out your character. It would just add polish.
One, I have to agree with the poster that said you should wait for the naming conventions so you can have a lore-based name. Otherwise it seems like you are trying to write in a justification for having the name that you happen to like, which seems to be commonplace among people who didn't have the foresight of giving their character a lore name. Regardless of your actual intention it will come across as being sloppy and overly convenient.
Second, there's this:
(05-10-2015, 12:51 PM)Aven Wrote: To hide his abnormal appearance he commissioned and suit of black plate armor which he wore day in and day out.
Frankly I don't think it makes sense that he would go to such ridiculous lengths to "hide his abnormal appearance" when the measure he took still makes him stand out so much. You'd think he would want to blend in, if possible, rather than continuing to stand out. Wearing a cloak with a face covering would accomplish this minimally and not be as ridiculous. Remaining relatively unseen would also work. He could even just be accepted by the town but kept secret from village outsiders. Try to think of more reasonable and realistic ways that a person could live in a community while hiding their extreme physical features.
After all, he can still have a distinctive black suit of armor that he wears in combat, but "wearing it day in and day out" (do you know how uncomfortable armor is?) when the justification for this is to try and conceal his identity? That's more than a little implausible.
Anyways, kudos again on going the "original Au Ra" route. I'm hoping to meet lots of Au Ra come HW who have interesting backstories that make use of their race lore.
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - SM Nick - 05-13-2015
You've given me inspiration for my own soon-to-be Au Ra. I still need to flesh out her character before being able to fully RP her. Thanks and kudos!
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Star Lin - 05-13-2015
I like the backstory so far for Aven. I'm interest when if happen for my miqo'te healer John Waterstrike and my monk Seawolf Kestlona Guhtgeiswyn to meet him. Their wiki are in my sig if you want to look over them to see if Aven might become friends with either of them.
RE: Atempt at Au Ra backstory - Aven - 05-15-2015
Ive been Rping in private with a friend and i really like the character. Unfortunatley he is going to stay as Aven regardless of Au Ra nameing conventions.Â
(my idea is if it doesnt line up, he abandoned his name when his clan was slain. When he saved the villiagers they asked his name, He said he didnt have one and a young child spoke up and said, "I will call you Aven,")
As for the armor i will agree with you and change that soon