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+--- Thread: Advice for a Dark Knight character (/showthread.php?tid=12209)
Advice for a Dark Knight character - mongi291 - 06-22-2015
So, after seeing all the lore behind Dark Knights, their powers and their relationship with Ishgardian society, I decided to make a Dark Knight character. But, as usual, I need some help to make sure I don't create a lorebreaking character or a Mary Sue. Here's what I thought so far.
??? (I haven't found a name yet, tbh XD)
- She is an Ishgardian Duskwight Elezen. She is 24 years old.
- She comes from a poor family, and was born in indentured servitude (her entire family was forced into it for an Ishgardian noble due to not being able to repay some debts).
- The noble for which her family worked molested her mother. Her father confronted the noble about that, but got killed, when she was just 9 years old. The body wasn't found and it was thought he escaped.
- Later on, when she got older (around 14 years old) the noble molested her too, but knowing she couldn't do anything about that, she just tried to ignore him, until...
- ...one day, when she was cleaning the house, while the noble was away, she opened his private closet  in his room, and she found her father's body.
- Realizing how he died, she confronted the noble about her father's death. Filled with anger, pain and sadness, she channeled a burst of dark energy and ended up killing the noble. She fainted after that.
- Before she came back to her senses, her mother found her and tried to hide the body and clean the place before someone noticed, but she was found and arrested.
- Her mother was accused of murder and heresy (because the noble died due to dark magic). She tried to tell the knights that her mother was innocent, but they ignored her. Her mother was executed.
- Now homeless, orphaned and filled with guilt, she was forced to become a criminal and steal to survive, for a few years. 3 years later she was found and almost arrested by Temple Knights, but a Dark Knight came to her rescue.
- Intrigued by powers similar to the ones she used 3 years before, she stopped the Dark Knight before he could leave and asked him about those powers. He hesitated, but then revealed to her the true nature of Dark Knights and their dark powers - the dark side of one's personality channeled into magic.
- Remembering her natural talent for those powers, and willing to find a way to pay for what she did, she decided to become a Dark Knight herself, to protect the weak and the poor, and she asked the Dark Knight to train her. At first puzzled by her request, he later accepted, unaware of her tragic past.
- She currently is a Dark Knight, still fighting for justice in Ishgard. Due to her dark past, her powers are a force to be reckoned with, but they're rather uncontrollable and quite taxing for both her body and mind. To balance that, she tries to never think about her past, and acts as cold and unemotional as possible.
RE: Advice for a Dark Knight character - Hunfrid - 06-22-2015
Looks good... But there's one thing I found off.
Your character was cleaning the house five years after her father died, and found his body... inside the house?
I am not too familiar with Ishgard lore, but that's an aweful long time to be holding on to the corpse of a slave. Inside a house, too.
RE: Advice for a Dark Knight character - Viola - 06-23-2015
(06-22-2015, 09:48 PM)Hunfrid Wrote: Looks good... But there's one thing I found off.
Your character was cleaning the house five years after her father died, and found his body... inside the house?
I am not too familiar with Ishgard lore, but that's an aweful long time to be holding on to the corpse of a slave. Inside a house, too.
Be a bit suspicious if a slave died under work of a Noble, I'd think.
RE: Advice for a Dark Knight character - Mercer - 06-23-2015
Given the nature of DRK abilities, inner conflict is a very bad thing. I foresee awful things in this one's future.
RE: Advice for a Dark Knight character - Khadan - 06-23-2015
Probably a small thing but I don't believe there are any slaves in Ishgard. Just nobility and peasants. =P
RE: Advice for a Dark Knight character - Lost River - 06-23-2015
And people lower strung than that; homeless poor peasants.
RE: Advice for a Dark Knight character - McBeefâ„¢ - 06-23-2015
Slaves are inefficient, you have to take care of them when they get old.
A permanent underclass is much better! Just let them starve to death when they get too old to work.
RE: Advice for a Dark Knight character - Aduu Avagnar - 06-23-2015
Indentured Sevant - polite way of saying slave, without it being slavery!
and probably more inline with the Feudal society Ishgard's got going on.
RE: Advice for a Dark Knight character - McBeefâ„¢ - 06-23-2015
(06-23-2015, 04:47 AM)Nakoli Chalahko Wrote: Indentured Sevant - polite way of saying slave, without it being slavery!
Right? And they can figure out how to pay for their own kids. It's fantastic.
It's too bad Evangeline is a proto-communist activist, because there is so much money to be made!
RE: Advice for a Dark Knight character - mongi291 - 06-23-2015
(06-22-2015, 09:48 PM)Hunfrid Wrote: Looks good... But there's one thing I found off.Well, I didn't think of a better place.
Your character was cleaning the house five years after her father died, and found his body... inside the house?
I am not too familiar with Ishgard lore, but that's an aweful long time to be holding on to the corpse of a slave. Inside a house, too.
I guess I took the "skeleton in a closet" saying too literally.
By the way I fixed a few things.