Hydaelyn Role-Players
[Balmung] Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: [Balmung] Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? (/showthread.php?tid=13140)

Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Pioneer - 08-25-2015

So this is my first time in a long time I've started to look outside my FC for RP.  I've been in the game since launch and RPing about FFXIV since well before via skype.  I've been with a good crew of people since then in a wonderful fc, but the past few months RP wise I've felt more or less like I just don't belong.

Before 3.0 came out everyone sort of paired off with ideas of who they were going to be with new characters and had great plans between each other.  I'm more of a natural flow with the RP sort of person so didn't do that.  Though now I find that any RP that happens is basically only about or seems to involve those that paired off and set something up in advance.  It's gotten extra bad lately with most of the RP being done in private areas.

Don't mistake me, I still love my FC and the people.  We're super active and the events are fun.  My character is the boss and from that perspective I get plenty of RP.  The reporting to the boss, or getting permission or being scolded by the boss kind of RP is about..half of my character but there's not a lot of exploration or growth in that.

I've come to realize that in order to feel satisfied with my character and the RP I need to branch out and away from my FC to find more personal connections that I just can't seem to do from within.  With that being said...any suggestions?

I'm in two linkshells that have been helpful so far, giving me event dates to come and mingle a bit.  QUicksand is a bit off putting to me as everytime I poke my head in there it seems to me like it's more or less a red light district gone sour.  Still I've tried and even had a few fun RP nights but nothing lasting.

Super open to ideas and suggestions or just meeting new friends!!  Let me know.  Thank you.

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Faye - 08-25-2015

I'd be happy to role-play sometime! Smile My character is the boss of her FC, as well, so I know what that's like. It seems like most of the RP I do is just IC work. It's nice to have a break from things!

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Cliodhna Eoghan - 08-25-2015

due to work/school and timezones; a lot of rp is set up in advance between those that have been rping together or even fc mates. that's not to say you can't do what you just did and pop up a thread asking to meet some new rp buddies. :3 tell us a little bit about your character(s) and what rp you're looking to get involved in.

while i'm glad to hear you get rp within your fc there's also nothing to be upset about wanting to have more options to develop other sides to that character and branch out. quicksand isn't the only place to rp; for awhile there was a fairly active thread titled something to the effect of "anywhere but qs" for players wanting to get out of ul'dah's biggest and most crowded bar and into the other reaches of the world. bismark is a great place to have a lunch outing and you can get good drinks at the drowning wench; costa's a lovely spot (with the moonfire event still going, lots of events themed in that vein are taking place there or the bronze lake hot springs!) an gradania is always beautiful. (i had a wonderful afternoon picnic at sweet bloom pier with an ic friend a few weeks ago)

use those linkshells, tel them you're wanting to expand your rp or even poke around the linkshell forum here; not all of them are for fc and some are great for helping people with common ic an/or ooc interest make a connection.

so list up some kind of potential hooks for what you have to offer or what you're craving for rp and check the event/calendar page often! my favorite way to me a new rp buddy is to go into one of the events and just mingle! if you see someone off to the side or feel a bit shy; feel free to shoot them a quick tell asking if you can approach them for rp! there's so many one time and perpetual events going on, you're sure to meet some new people that can over time help you form stronger ic relationships an lend to more stories, so many ic/ooc friends i've gotten were through events or a simple note saying i had read up on their character and wanted to get to know them. granted not every meeting will go as planned but the more chances you take the more chances you have for it to work Big Grin

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Will Erhardt - 08-25-2015

I compeltely understand how you feel, i myseelf have been feeling the same way ive been recently reaching out and i did just ifnd this website as well id be more then willing to join you in rp as well as your search ^_^

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Aaron - 08-25-2015

People set up rp in advance? I've seen It mentioned countless times on here but I've /never/ witnessed it myself. Whenever I try to rp I always find it. 

Anyway hit me up in game sometime I'll hang with ya.

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Lydia Lightfoot - 08-25-2015

I'm always up for random "characters are in the same area and happen to accidentally meet" RP myself, feel free to throw small objects at me OOCly any time you happen to be bored. :)

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Cato - 08-25-2015

(08-25-2015, 07:53 AM)Aaron Wrote: People set up rp in advance? I've seen It mentioned countless times on here but I've /never/ witnessed it myself. Whenever I try to rp I always find it. 

Anyway hit me up in game sometime I'll hang with ya.

A lot of people do it because whilst random role-play may work out for some role-players it doesn't work out for everybody. The same can be said of Linkshells and events - it's all too easy to show up, try to spark up some random role-play and never have it amount to anything meaningful. 

I've had much more success simply through singling out individuals on this site who I think I'd click with and then sending them a message to organise a meeting in-game.

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - arkamas - 08-25-2015

Though I have no idea what your characters like, I've a few characters they could interact with.  I'm usually available in the afternoons well into the night, so just let me know on here or in game if you'd like to rp, and we can set something up!

Character Names, with wiki link if available, brief description if not.

Fyrilsunn Fiandoensyn:  https://wiki.ffxiv-roleplayers.com/pages/Fyrilsunn_Fiandoensyn


Jujuwai Totowai:  https://wiki.ffxiv-roleplayers.com/pages/Jujuwai_Totowai


Geisshund Loezkhansyn: A sergeant aboard a Maelstrom affiliated privateer vessel, he's in charge of one of the crews more stealth oriented affairs: Recon, sabotage, etc.  He's gruff, to the point, and fights dirty as the seven hells. While largely self motivated, he does his damndest to look out for his crewmates, especially those placed under his leadership.

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Kaiz - 08-25-2015

"It's lonely at the top." As the saying goes. I can certainly understand the feeling of disconnect in your situation. Often there is a kind of professional barrier between getting too friendly with a leadership figure and it can be easy for some to forget that the leader is still a fellow RPer who probably wants all the same kinds of meaningful personal relationships too.

I'll keep an eye out for you in game. Kaiz brightens everyone's day.

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Aya - 08-25-2015

There are times when things become a little stale, and you just have to open them up a little!  It happens to everyone and I can very easily remember some of the times I have felt that way!  The good news is that there are many people here looking for RP, so your chance of finding something good are quite high Smile

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Olofantur - 08-25-2015

looks like we've got a bevy of other people interested in helping so i'll assume you've got some contacts on hand.

Resolution wise? I try to make a point of never allowing myself to go a full week without doing something in a public area. Not just "the Goblet" because I still feel that allows for a certain amount of filtration, but in a city proper or in the wilds.

Lately i've taken to lingering at my old pre-home home the Ossuary, aka That place with the creepy finger waggling lalafells that cackle to themselves. And I try to bring people along with me or have them meet me there, aaka the Thaumaturges guild.

Another option you have since you're a member of an FC and i've done this once or twice but ask someone about their friends, it doesn't have to be directly, I usually do a "Oh hey I heard you were working with people at ____" this doesn't mean that you have to meet up with those people directly, but even asking one of your FC mates to pass along a message or a question to the other FC they interact with can get things rolling. There's an understandable reluctance to want to engage with your friends friends for different reasons. The big reminder is follow up!

An easy example is with crafters, anytime someone commissions something interesting in the FC i'm a part of, I make a point of ICly asking them about the maker and details around it, this later allows me to both approach the maker with some fore-knowledge as well as open up conversation with others discussing the crafters. (The skills/hours of one vs another, or even over all recommendations.) And if you're getting all your crafting done OOCly by people in your FC then you're missing out! its a great and reliable way to forge connections.

I hope this helps, it might not be the most applicable or fast returning on your investment, but I prefer the ponderous rolling narrative pilled up over the course of months over an applied storyline most of the time.

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Pioneer - 08-25-2015

Thanks everyone for the replies and support. I have to admit I was a bit nervous Bout this at first. I'm at work right now but will respond in kind to you all later tonight. My outlook has turned very positive suddenly. Thanks again.

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Vale - 08-25-2015

Network, network, network. The more people you know (and the more diverse they are) the more opportunities you have. I've been trying to do that since I've RP'd and my character has gotten to the point where, when I actually sit down to RP with him (Vale, not Khuma - he's new) I have plenty of options. I'm in a couple of RP-centric LS's that help me too.

As for my new character Khuma? I went to the Sands with him and tried to do a magic trick. He was promptly ignored by everyone in there. Then, I went and talked to someone individually and did a trick just for them and we had a nice 2~ hour discussion before Khuma thought some people were trying to eat him and fled from the tavern. ^_^

My point here is that... if you're finding yourself unfilled with the RP you're doing then find some new stuff. Maybe your character wants to go on a sabbatical, or they suddenly think that their new calling is art, or possibly they had an odd run-in with magic that did something to them. The limits are only with your imagination (and to some extent the lore) when RP'ing ^_^

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Anthony Valron - 08-25-2015

Hi, friend.

I am seeking RP friends, just like you. The same feeling you have is the one I've had since I came here, originally to Gilgamesh and now to Balmung.

So! Please feel free to contact me IG on Anthony Valron or C'adrien Nunh, or on Skype: Neversurrenderwra.

I just want to roleplay. pls.

RE: Feeling Like I don't Belong. Please help? - Mitzer The Mighty - 08-25-2015

My best rp groups come from random encounters. If you ever want a group of random rpers that are into fun casual rp send me a tell and I'll pop you on the linkshell. All started with a meanie elezen picking on my child character (Mitzi Moui) and an Au Ra woman insulting him with the verbal slam of the century. One free dinner from said elezen later resulted in a custody squabble between the two of them and random people who happened to walk into the bar in Drybone. That has resulted in a modest group of 7 or so people who interact with the open world regularly airing out their comedy for anyone to join in. We're currently haunting Limsa Lominsa at the moment. Thinking of joining a FC but my worry is if I did join one, I'd be disappointed again, but also our rp would be bottled up in the houses, keeping us away from new people and new ideas.