(09-03-2015, 08:38 AM)LadyRochester Wrote: I encourage constructive criticism and feedback! So long as you're polite, I won't get offended.

"There are many lessons in life you will come to learn on your own, my love, but as your mother, I will teach you the importance of charm. Be intelligent with words, and they will become the most powerful shield against any blade that seeks to strike your way, stronger than any sorcery you might learn from the greatest mages. Heed this, my child, for the words in this letter will help you in life and might save you someday, as they have saved me.

• For an IC letter, consider a brief paragraph describing the physical style of the letter.  Is it on fine parchment?  A shitty scrap of paper?  What does the writing look like?  I didn't realize this was a letter until three sentences in.  I struck some verbose surplusage.
  

First and foremost, there's a universal law when it comes to all men and beastmen alike: They all want something.

• Really drive important text like that home with some sort of distinguishing mark to grab the eye. 
  

Those ignorant on how the mind works think that the best way to control individuals [make them desire something yet keep it barely out of reach].  [[Short declarative sentences = good. [[ is to show them something they want and keep it constantly barely out of their reach.   However, this tactic [[is rarely useful because interest gradually wanes or someone else will inevitably feed their desires]].  only works until someone else comes along and gives them what they want--Or until they get tired. If you show them something you won't give up, they will begin to question your motives, your honesty, and their loyalty to you.

Daughter, the trick is rather simple:

[[A personal reference is always lovely in these sort of communications]]

You give them what they crave, then you slowly threaten to take it away. Every great merchant, every drug trafficker, and every expert politician knows this. And I promise you dear, everyone in the world will -always- want something from you. even if they aren't completely aware of it, it's in the nature of every living being. Everyone in essence is selfish, not everyone will admit it. The true challenge is finding out what they want.

[[Less is more.  Cut out the extra terms when possible.  Makes dialogue more punchy.]]

In order to do this, you must observe them. You must learn and use that knowledge for your own benefit. Watch their mannerisms, their words, their outlook. To truly understand the person and to understand their desire, you must see from their perspective. And based on what you see, you must become what they desires, even if it's a facade.

There's another universal law that will make this easier: People usually believe what they want to believe. They will choose to follow what fits their perspective best. Flatter them, discreetly fan their beliefs and light the fire they thought only they could ignite. If they sense some kinship with you, they will be easier to decipher and control.

Never be too blatant about your power, however, because the moment someone senses you are wearing too many masks, they will distrust and conspire against you. This is quite inconvenient. You are a merchant and the world is your marketplace, be intelligent enough, and almost any factor in people's hearts and psyche can be exploited to your benefit, I promise you this.

Be analytical.
Be perceptive.
Be wise.
Be knowledgeable.
Be charming.

If you deceive, do so wisely. Never show your true motives, as someone might finally see this and use your own desires against you. Even your closest friend is capable of exploiting your weaknesses, remember we are all selfish. Don't let others know they do more for you than you do for them.

As long as the world feels it's in your debt, it will be in your hands".