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+--- Thread: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? (/showthread.php?tid=19332)
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Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Casa Kai - 05-09-2017
I've reached a kind of bizarre conundrum. I have a character I really like to rp but I find it kind of hard to get through the initial part of greetings and such. They have some attitude problems, come off as a jerk, and generally keep to themselves. Now that's nice and all but it's very hard to find RP if I just sit there quietly and brood all the time so I have to do the usual 'hello, how's it going' with that kind of character. So I'm wondering, how do you get people to come RP with a quiet/stoic type of character? Should I ask them oocly to come talk to me? I don't want to do that each time >.<
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Aaron - 05-09-2017
Use an outsider factor neither you or the other person has control over. Accidental bump into the other person, begrudgingly asking for directions to somewhere, mistaking them for someone you knew IC (even if they look nothing alike or the person you knew doesn't exist even lol)
Or solo RP doing something in public like cleaning your weapon or talking to a minion. Odds are if you do the boring "X looks around people watching" approach you're in line with the 100 others doing the same and waiting for walk ups. If your character doesn't walk up, make yourself unique in idle action so others approach you then.
Take this with a grain of salt though, as I haven't RPed in months lol
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Shadottie - 05-09-2017
Actions speak louder than words at times! Â I personally have a hard time hitting up the smalltalk-bar rp scene, so I pushed myself in other ways for the quiet/reserved bunch I have. It can be a bit nerve-wracking to put yourself out there and especially be the one to start up RP, but I believe in you! ;u;
Things like ... looking for a lost item and hooking people with a need to help; or stumbling across lost item and asking others if it's theirs! Â Minions are great too, like, finding a stray cat/dog and what do with it???Â
One I used to use as a hook outside the Quicksand was having my character help tend to the chocobo stalls and struggle with a fiesty bird. xD There are lots of quirky intros out there, and there's surely someone to bite!
Creating a little RP hook profile here on the forums could help with planning a meet up time for these kinds of rps too! Folks typically reply or shoot PMs! c: I'd love to hear more about your character!
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Casa Kai - 05-09-2017
(05-09-2017, 11:18 AM)Shadottie Wrote: Actions speak louder than words at times! Â I personally have a hard time hitting up the smalltalk-bar rp scene, so I pushed myself in other ways for the quiet/reserved bunch I have. It can be a bit nerve-wracking to put yourself out there and especially be the one to start up RP, but I believe in you! ;u;Hey thanks for the kind words! I'm usually used to rather outgoing characters so I never had any trouble going up to people like 'Hey how's it going.' And I like the having an outside force thing be the thing to spark conversation. Only problem is that I rp mainly in my fc and with some people I see every day I can't really see myself using a missing cat that many times xD
Things like ... looking for a lost item and hooking people with a need to help; or stumbling across lost item and asking others if it's theirs! Â Minions are great too, like, finding a stray cat/dog and what do with it???Â
One I used to use as a hook outside the Quicksand was having my character help tend to the chocobo stalls and struggle with a fiesty bird. xD There are lots of quirky intros out there, and there's surely someone to bite!
Creating a little RP hook profile here on the forums could help with planning a meet up time for these kinds of rps too! Folks typically reply or shoot PMs! c: I'd love to hear more about your character!
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Griffith! - 05-09-2017
As my current RP main, I play with a deck of cards and do card tricks IC to attract attention. It's had a fairly decent success rate.
But yeah, I'd echo the "make yourself stand out" advice.
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Casa Kai - 05-09-2017
(05-09-2017, 12:03 PM)Griffith! Wrote: As my current RP main, I play with a deck of cards and do card tricks IC to attract attention. It's had a fairly decent success rate.Hah, what a coincidence! My character does do card tricks/magic tricks. Though I do still find it hard to emote that and have someone come talk to me.
But yeah, I'd echo the "make yourself stand out" advice.
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Maril - 05-09-2017
Idle-emote all the time, as others have said.Â
Another thing is to avoid placing your character in places that naturally do not inspire walk-ups, especially in bars. It's very easy to fall into this sort of pit when you enter a player made tavern; some are great and has designs with relatively no risks whilst others have some areas that see no natural flow of people beyond smaller groups (which is most likely what they were designed for). Nooks, crannies, and generally the further away from the bar you yet, the more complicated an excuse do people have to conjure up in order to make for an approach. Why would someone go to the farthest, darkest corner when there are seats at the bar still, etc.Â
This is then made even worse by standing about in silence and dropping no hooks. If you're in doubt about how a tavern might have pitfalls, consider observing where people go when they enter the tavern, and how long it takes for someone to fan out towards the edges as the crowd builds up. Â
Also, even though your character may be anti-social and grumpy, they still have to live - certain lifestyles, like that of an adventurer, hints more towards a person being very likely to obtain most of their meals and have their downtime in inns and taverns because if they have a home at all, it might be on the other side of Eorzea. Try to see if you can give them some motivation as to why they would reach out even though they don't like it; maybe wayfinding advice, to check if the food/ale is good before ordering, hearing local rumors to aid them or give them an advantage. Especially the last option is something you can ask literally anyone. Thinking this way has helped me get my own grumpy tall lizardman into more interactions - people are usually fine with him being grumpy, it's not what keeps them away in my experience. If anything, I find that some people may even go "challenge accepted" and figure out why the character is such a grump.
ETA: Another point is also that if you 100% rely on people coming -to- you, then you will always end up waiting a very long time for RP. Walk-ups are intimidating, yes, but what is the worst that can happen? If people flee you probably didn't want to be rping with them anyways.
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Aegir - 05-09-2017
You need an outgoing wingman to help keep your character in the plot. Me and my roommate almost always RP together and we tend to trade off on how edgy our characters are. If I'm alone and being antisocial, I feel pretty awkward. But I can go for hours with a wingman, because I still feel like I'm a part of what's going on and I know he'll acknowledge me when I finally do speak up. If your wingman acknowledged your anti-social char, other peoples chars are inclined to do so too.
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Askier - 05-09-2017
One thing I recommend , and do, is send a /tell asking ooc if someone would like to rp. In my experience it has a much higher success rate than just posting an ic emote in a crowded space and hoping it gets a reply. Almost everyone who has 'tell friendly' in their search info means it.
. So once you have them engaged with you ic, your character can get their brood on lol
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Nebbs - 05-09-2017
Just a thought, really get the anti-social aspect across. Do it enough and someone will take offense so the RP begins.
Like:
- Stare at people with a psychotic glint
- Wipe your nose on your sleeve
- Eat things with your mouth open, loudly and insist on pulling the food out of your mouth to look at before putting it back in
- Shout comments at people's conversations, it could even be nonsense
- Automatically assume anyone approaching you means you no good
- Body oder is a good line, so don't bathe or wash your clothing
- Act like you are cripple but then walk off perfectly fine when it's not working
- Always sit next to the good looking folks, they deserve you
- Always complain about the cost of things and try to get as much for free as you can
- Always pay for everything in 1 gil coins that you count out slowly
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Casa Kai - 05-09-2017
(05-09-2017, 12:25 PM)Nebbs Wrote: Just a thought, really get the anti-social aspect across. Do it enough and someone will take offense so the RP begins.I do try and do that! I consider it a success in an rp meeting if someone oocly tells me they hate my char or are scared of them.
Like:Don't be anti-social and likable .. no one wants that.
- Stare at people with a psychotic glint
- Wipe your nose on your sleeve
- Eat things with your mouth open, loudly and insist on pulling the food out of your mouth to look at before putting it back in
- Shout comments at people's conversations, it could even be nonsense
- Automatically assume anyone approaching you means you no good
- Body oder is a good line, so don't bathe or wash your clothing
- Act like you are cripple but then walk off perfectly fine when it's not working
- Always sit next to the good looking folks, they deserve you
- Always complain about the cost of things and try to get as much for free as you can
- Always pay for everything in 1 gil coins that you count out slowly
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Byahta - 05-10-2017
My own character, Byahta is pretty text-book Asshole. She's well known for her different spiteful looks, for mysterious and creepy powers, and, to those who have gotten to know her well... that she's just kind of a bitch the whole way down. But, this hasn't stopped her from being surrounded by a circle of friends who 'accept' her.
The character itself needs motivation to be a part of a group, even if distant.
When I consider Byahta's actions I have a list of things she will and won't do. My priority in scenes with meeting new people is to have an in-character reason for my asshole character to be putting themselves forward. Byahta is hunting for mercenaries for the dangerous contracts she is always running. This means that despite her brooding and spiteful nature she will physically put herself into conversation with other characters.
The character needs to be willing to work with others to achieve their goals.
DnD 5E has a great point on playing brooding-assholes/Evil characters. The central conceit of 5E is that our characters WILL work together to achieve their goals. Even the biggest asshole in DnD 5E must be willing to see the benefit of working with cohorts. Its too easy to the catch-all of seeing everyone as incompetent, or, playing the EDGELORD WHO WILL HURT HIS FRIENDS.
Playing an anti-social character without any sort of friends to help you is a bad idea. OOC conversation with those you meet can greatly help clarify this.
One of the best ways to survive the trouble of being an anti social character is to OOC talk to some people. Maybe the people you've approached are having trouble with your character. A fight might be brewing. Try talking to them OOC to clarify what your trying to do, and, any help that might make the scene turn right. They may not want their snowflake healer who is half miqote half auri and half genie to be dealing with you... But they might know someone who is more patient and willing to become your friend!
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Ritsu - 05-10-2017
I have had quite a few folks tell me my elezen is difficult because she is very stoic. Really the majority of RP I do with her is business. Socially, her husband is usually around and he is slightly more outgoing than her.
So consider a wingman/gal. Also could perhaps try seeing you could set up or have some pre-established connections.
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Renault Delumiere - 05-10-2017
Maybe an unpopular opinion...
But just like in real life, if you want to make friends, you are going to have to be at least a little bit social.
RE: Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character? - Zhavi - 05-10-2017
(05-09-2017, 10:59 AM)Casa Kai Wrote: Should I ask them oocly to come talk to me? I don't want to do that each time >.<
One way to avoid having to do that each time is to oocly scope out sociable characters. Focus on a few. Five, max. Once you've arranged for rp with those, there is a high chance that opportunities will arise for your character to interact with their acquaintances.
Too, as others have said, focus on action -- not dialogue. I've started various rps with spilled drinks, spilled food, spilled ink, dead bodies, victim (or perpetrator) of pickpockets, delivery mishaps with orders, etc.
Have a run in with some thugs in an alley. Fail at saving an npc from committing suicide. Find a mysterious package. Stumble over some kids bullying another kid. Thrust your character in the path of moral quandaries. Interact with the vast and vastly populated world around you, and drag others into its various little stories with you. They can all be simple one-offs -- the point is giving yourself and others something to work with that overcomes your character's social issues.