[Balmung] Tears upon starlit sands... - Printable Version +- Hydaelyn Role-Players (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18) +-- Forum: Role-Play (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18/forumdisplay.php?fid=27) +--- Forum: Town Square (IC) (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: [Balmung] Tears upon starlit sands... (/showthread.php?tid=20778)

[Balmung] Tears upon starlit sands... - Kisa Treani - 10-18-2017 A cool night as she walked the line of the beach. The breeze of the sea blew a strand of pink hair free from her head and she chose to just leave it there. She had far more pressing things on her mind as she walked through the sands of Costa del Sol. Pink eyes filled with sadness looked at the stars above and began to shine as tears filled them. She took a breath to try to push them away but in that moment she couldn’t.   Nearly two weeks had gone by since she had seen her heart and soul… her kitten, her cuddlebug… her beautiful starlight. She dropped to her knees on the sand and just rested there. A place where they had shared so much love, a place she knew to be her angel’s favorite and here she was… all of those emotions pounding from her chest.   “They… look so dull without you my love…” She said to herself quietly as tears began falling from her eyes. She had been strong… she had hoped so much and still did… but her conversation from the morning… it had hit harder then she realized. She had not allowed herself to cry… she kept telling herself that she had to be strong for her… but in this moment, in this place where their love flourished, she could not hold back.   She pounded the sand not caring it did nothing; she just needed something, anything to try to take the emotions out on. The sand gave nothing and that is what she felt like… nothing. Her friends kept telling her to hope… saying that she would return and everything would be as it was. Truly… that is all she wanted… everything back to when they were happy.   She had seen it… a change, a shift in her love… she couldn’t place her finger on it but she knew it was there. She didn’t know why she didn’t tell her what was going… why she didn’t open up to the woman who cared more for than anything else that ever was. But she was not one to pry… she merely stood by her angel’s side hoping that the light she had given her could be reflected back in a way.   But it couldn’t… here she was… tears falling and wetting the sand below as she finally cried… after two weeks of feeling lost and lonely she finally let it free and her tears fell like rain. Her friends did what they could for her and in truth without them she would be even more lost then she was but they were not her… they were not her goddess, the woman who had shown her that love was possible… no one could be.   She wrapped her arms around her knees and just let herself cry…therapeutic in a way to be sure to let the emotion she had bottled up inside out. She looked towards the stars again and remembered her smile, her laugh, the way she would tease her and the devotion that she had for her bean… all of it gone.   “I… am so lost without you my love… I never deserved you in the first place but to not have you here… I am shattered…” She cried out to the stars hoping that there would be an answer… a sign… but nothing came and nothing was to come. She wanted so much to find her love again and to hold her in her arms. But in the end, as the days turned into weeks… she feared she never would again.   In truth she didn’t know… she didn’t know what had happened,where her love went… why she did not return home that night. She tried not to think about it… she tried to silence the dark voices in her head but as time passed they grew louder, stronger.   “No!” She called out chiding herself for even thinking any of those thoughts. The two of them were made for each other… the Twelve themselves created the two to be together… they had been so happy together… so loving… she was not going to accept what that dark voice told her…   But after that last night… and after not seeing her since… she just shook her head. She couldn’t believe it… she knew what her angel had been before… the kind of relationships she had been in but she had said to her that she was her one and only… the one she wanted and loved above all else. In truth her kitten was the only one she ever wanted for the rest of her life… but now she was gone.   “I am still here… I will always love you… my beautiful shining light… you will always have my heart… no matter where you are… or where you go…” She managed in between tears. She sat in the sand cradling her knees just… crying. Her heart ached to see her love once more… just once… just to know she was alright.   “So many things I would say… so many things I would apologize for… so many things I would try to do better… for you… nothing is too much… for you… I would give all of existence…” Again she cried out into the empty night sky… hoping her words would reach her angel in whatever distant place she was in. In truth she didn’t know where her goddess was… there were no words, no signs… just… gone.   That is what hurt the most… not knowing… not knowing if her love was hurt or worse, not know if her love was happy, sad, mad, nothing…  and that is what ground at her so. She was a healer… it is her job to help those in need… it is her job to hold her love and keep her safe… but she had failed… in some way shape or form she had failed and because of it she was empty.   “I am sorry my love… for what it’s worth… I am sorry. Somehow, someway I failed you… if only I could be given the chance to make it right I would a thousand times over. I just… I just want to see your smile again… to hold you in my arms again and to know you are alright…”   The tears streamed freely down her face as she made her plea to the night’s sky… she would wish on every star just to have her kitten brought back to her. To have her heart given back to her there is nothing she wouldn't do… for her… she would and had done everything.   Those eyes turned to the sky as her tears shined in the light cast by the moon on that cool crisp night. She looked toward the heavens and opened her mouth to speak… so much had she said already but this time words did not come at first. She took a breath as her eyes took in the sky above her and she sighed before finally those words came to her…   The eyes of a wanderer sore, lost within the stars Upon her heart weigh heavily the pain of scars But for the briefest of times she had been given light With her angel, with her goddess she had felt so right   But now that angel has taken wing As she looks towards the stars doth the wanderer sing In hopes that her words of love reach her angel’s ear So that perhaps she can move forward once more without fear   In the wanderer’s heart only love resides To her kitten she hopes it guides Her beautiful starlight back to her side Upon her angel she will always look with pride   As her heart beats into the starlit sky She wishes with her love to once more fly To be given back her angel’s beautiful light For that gift, for that treasure she will fight   No matter where her kitten has flown Within her heart, love shall forever remain sown For though tears flow freely from her eyes The wanderer shall never stop looking towards the sky   For that is where her goddess belong An angel of beauty and a light so strong The wanderer reaches out her hand to the sky above Forever giving her angel nothing but love…   The hand fell to the sand again and the tears continued to fall from her eyes. In poetry she spoke words that she could not otherwise. She missed her Dani beyond what words could ever truly say and in truth… no matter what the voices in her mind may be telling her… she would never lose faith in her goddess. She belonged to her… she was her bean and that would never change… she would always love her… she was still even after this long her heart and soul… her everything.   Even if the voices in her head were right… even if her angel was gone forever she would still hold a large piece of her heart because despite everything… she deserved it and more. She got to her feet and looked upon the stars again.   “I… will always be here for you my love… you will always hold my heart and I shall always be waiting for your return… you are my goddess… my angel… my everything… may you always know you have a place to go… and a place to be loved…” She said taking a deep breath before turning and summoning aether to return her home.   In truth she was in that place to clear her head… and in crying…in releasing the emotions that had been picking away at her heart, she had gained clarity. Whether or not her Dani chose to return to her was not important. For in reality Dani was always with her… the memories, the joy she felt with her… those would never leave her no matter where she herself went.   She had to keep going, she had to keep fighting… but she had said what she needed to say… she had given her light to her angel… hopefully in some distant place, the most beautiful woman in all of existence would hear it…Â