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Character opinion/Feedback - Printable Version

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Character opinion/Feedback - Colyer - 08-10-2013

I'm including both in this post since I don't want to clutter up the forum with two thread so I hope that is ok.

I would like people's opinion on three hairstyles for my Lalafell. At the moment his basic premise is a slightly insufferable academic type. An egghead who can be apologetically blunt and clueless when dealing with other people.

[Image: Hair_zps0dd46e98.jpg]



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RE: Character opinion/Feedback - Teardrop - 08-11-2013

(08-10-2013, 11:57 PM)Colyer Wrote: I'm including both in this post since I don't want to clutter up the forum with two thread so I hope that is ok.

I would like people's opinion on three hairstyles for my Lalafell. At the moment his basic premise is a slightly insufferable academic type. An egghead who can be apologetically blunt and clueless when dealing with other people.

[Image: Hairchoices_zpsb2fc87cd.jpg]

That type of personality is best displayed by choice "B", in my opinion Big Grin


RE: Character opinion/Feedback - FreelanceWizard - 08-11-2013

For the lalafell, option B all the way. Smile The facial expression really gets that across.

For the character background, it looks good. I'd consider a couple of things, though.

First, it seems to revolve a lot around Tomas's family. We don't get to see a lot of his perspective on things -- what does he want to do? Did it bother him being put in the position of taking over the family business? Why didn't he start a family -- did his mother oppose it, or was the work too occupying for him? I think the backstory would be more powerful if we could see more of what was going on in Tomas's head.

Second, from a lore perspective, one thing I'd consider is that the Black Shroud was exceedingly dangerous to outsiders before the Calamity; it was extremely easy to anger the elementals as non-Gridanian, resulting in the accumulation of "woodsin" and ultimately the forest itself attempting to kill you. Since the Calamity, however, this effect seems to have been largely written out of the plot (the why is still undisclosed). So, you might want to consider how your character got around that. The easiest approach is that you were traveling to Gridania when Bahamut attacked, which neatly solves the issue and would put you in Gridania for 5 years prior to the start of the game. However, there's other alternatives: Tomas's family knew a Gridanian of the guild, and they were able to guide you into the city; Tomas has an affinity for the elementals (perhaps a talent for Conjury?); Tomas sneaked into Gridania with some less-than-legal assistance that knew a secret path or other means through the Shroud; Tomas fell victim to the forest, but a kindly Gridanian took pity on him and saved him; as above, but moogles saved him (mirroring the 1.0 Gridania intro sequence); etc. I'm not saying you have to change your background, just that you need to have an explanation for why the usual "outsiders get killed by the forest due to woodwrath" element of Gridania pre-Calamity didn't apply in his case.


RE: Character opinion/Feedback - LeCard - 08-11-2013

(08-10-2013, 11:57 PM)Colyer Wrote:
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I have done some minor copy editing on your background. items marked as such have been edited within the post for simple grammatical errors. However, there were a few spots that I think could use better wording/explanation, those have been marked in a unique color to indicated that they will be discussed below.


Tomas seemed to of had a typical, average childhood, because well, it was
Tomas seemed to of had a typically, average childhood, because well, it was
Tomas seemed to of had an average childhood, because well, it was

After returning from Ul'Dah for the wedding, Tomas' father became sick. Disregarding his illness he continued to work to the point of exhaustion, and shortly before Tomas' 18th birthday his father succumbed to the illness and passed on.

Tomas no longer having to worry about helping to support his mother
Please explain why he no longer has to worry about his mother. She is staying with(from what I gather a recently widowed soon to be mother) and that isn't generally thought of as someone with a stable income. Did she receive some sort of pension or widows fund type of deal?

Still reading? well I went with option C for the Lala, the hair just says egghead to me.


RE: Character opinion/Feedback - Ildur - 08-11-2013

I'm going to leave a small acknowledgment that my opinions on the backstory mirrors what FreelanceWizard said. Yay for others thinking and writting for me!

B obviously looks better, but that has little to do with the hair and all to do with the emote. I think you should have provided screens of the three alternatives during the same animation. Otherwise, option B ends up despicting a much more interesting personality than the other two.
With that said, I'll go with hair A.


RE: Character opinion/Feedback - Colyer - 08-12-2013

I changed out the photo as some suggested,


And thanks for in feedback, will change up certain aspects of my Hyur's backstory and expand on other parts as suggested.


RE: Character opinion/Feedback - FreelanceWizard - 08-12-2013

With them in the same pose, I like C, but A is also good.


RE: Character opinion/Feedback - Teardrop - 08-12-2013

My choice has changed to C as well, now that all things are even Smile


RE: Character opinion/Feedback - Falkner - 08-12-2013

I vote for the C!
When you put some round glasses on him, it'll be awww, what a cute academic egghead~


RE: Character opinion/Feedback - Colyer - 08-13-2013

Ok, here's an updated back story. Changed up some stuff, not that happy with the end of it, but putting it up as I mulled over it.


As apologize for any words butting up against each other - for some reason pasting it in does that to random words. Tried to get them all but may of missed a few.



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Also quick question is there a town or village in the Mor Dhona region? Been trying to find info but the wikis are pretty sparse on details of what is in the region.