Have I ever met an individual as tenacious as the one who has been finding me in the most random of locations? I have to admit that I cannot recall a time in the recent past, since I had met the individual, that I had not had had some time engaged with his presence. Could one chalk it up to fate or perhaps it is something more in control than I'd imagine? It wouldn't be hard to fathom that a criminal such as himself would have hired thugs tailing my every move, giving him my location whenever it changes. It is all too convenient for him to keep running into me no matter where it is I end up. I have to ask myself, though, is it such a bad thing? It isn't like is company is all so terrible, it isn't as if he is hard to be around, but perhaps that in itself is the underlying problem in itself?

It isn't too difficult to tell that his man is interested in me, for one reason or another, he makes his intentions very clear even though he hides behinds facades and jokes often. He makes every attempt and takes every opportunity to do his best to uncover what there is to get to know about me on a personal level. Why? Maybe I shouldn't ask because I already know the answer to it even though I wish I hadn't. I would be lying if I said it wasn't fun, being around his company, but his relentless questions and attempts to try and dig into me and learn more about me can become overbearing sometimes. He is one of the more familiar faces to me, someone whom I can't say that I dislike to be around entirely. I can stomach his presence for some time, I enjoy the meals we have together and the conversations that we have to some extent. I would call him an acquaintance, a friend even, despite him being such a louse and a criminal to boot!

I recall fondly on the last dinner that him and I had, a delicious Marmot feast with fish and chips on the side. He had paid for it not only with his money but with his company as well, I couldn't remember the last time that I had ate so well! I even had a side of entertainment to go with such an exquisite meal on his behalf when a female acquaintance of his approached him asking for gil! I couldn't help but break out in laughter, the interactions between the two of them was just too much for me at that point. The two of them seemed to fit well together, a lot better than him and I seemed sitting at a table with one another. The criminal swears up and down that his female acquaintance was a nuisance and my claims of her being his girlfriend were immediately shot down every time I had called her as such. Their relationship is unclear to me despite the different scenarios he had laid out to me, I'm unsure of what to really make out between the two of them, not that it should matter to me in the least. The female seems to know plenty of personal details, her actions leading me to believe that the two of them are or were a lot closer to one another than the delinquent would like to make it out to seem. That had to be so awkward for him, poor thing, if only I could have read the thoughts that were probably racing through his mind at the time.

All good things come to an end, the feast that I was presented had been consumed and I had to call an end to the night that him and I had shared together. I was more saddened about the lack of food before me rather than having to leave my company as he seemed to be. I did my best to deter him from walking me to my place at the local inn but he just would not take "no" for an answer. He is quite the barbarian, I must admit, should I have been surprised? As the two of us walked forward through the night, under the beautiful starry night sky, I found myself recalling our conversation in a way that made me sick to my stomach. I had found myself attempting to stop the smile that had been forming on my lips, slowing down the beating of my beating heart when I thought of the way I had responded to some of his more intimate questions. There is no way that he will ever get through to the answers that he is looking for, I'm not going to share nothing about myself or my past or the things that he wishes to know. Why does it matter? Why can't he take a hint? I'm only here for one thing, and in the end it won't matter what my age is or what kind of things that I like.

I'm but a fleeting existence, much like the Marmot I had feasted on for dinner.

Not much unlike it and the life that it had, only perhaps a bit more complicated.

The two of us share the same fate at the end of our roads, one way or another.

There was a day that was not unlike any other day where I had found myself sitting on one of the many railings of one of the many platforms in Limsa that hung over the beautiful deep ocean below. I remember the way that my eyes had scanned the surface trying to look for breaks in the waves to see as far down into the unknown as I possibly could. All that welcomed me was darkness, an unclear picture of the things that remain and exist in the depths of such a vast body of water. I wonder how long I had been sitting there reflecting on such matters before I began to question if I was subconsciously reflecting on my own self?

If there is anything that I had learned during my short and violent life it is that there is no such thing as a coincidence in this world. There are far too many factors, far too many entities in the world, for anything to happen simply because. There was a time when I did not believe in such things as fate or a predestined future, words like that simply had made me laugh! The truth of the matter - and I know this all too well - is that they do exist in this life. The road that we are meant to travel is always traveled by us, one way or another, and it is difficult to stray from the path that has been laid out before you to walk. I am not a lamb to be guided along by a shepard, I am not some weak and helpless animal that needs to be leashed and domesticated to survive. I am not going to succumb to the truth of this world and let my feet travel in a direction I don't want them to go. I will fight it, I will fight the entire world and the nature of things if I  have to, my resolve will be far too clean and honed for fate and predestined future to control.

I will be damned until the day that I die if I ever let myself listen to the words of another or let myself be taken care of by another individual! I am not some weak and little kitten that cannot defend or think for themselves, I am not incapable of making my own conscious decisions or understand the risks that I take on a daily basis. I do not need my hand held, I do not need to be babied, I do not need any advice, and I definitely do not need someone else in my life. I'm not looking for something so trivial from someone, weak emotions such as those will not help me in the slightest! All those emotions ever do is bog you down, make you weak, turn you into some sad and pathetic creature that isn't even a shadow of your former self. I have seen what a sensitive heart can do to a strong person with my own two eyes, I have seen the kind of misery and kind of weakness that comes from opening yourself up to another, and I am far too smart and keen on such matters to throw myself into such a hell.