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+--- Thread: My Shy Guide to Role Playing (/showthread.php?tid=7345)
My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Hiroshu - 06-10-2014
My Shy Guide to Role Playing
So, you like to role play, but you're shy. Good! I hear and feel this a lot, so these are my thoughts on the subject. This is a first draft, and we'll see if I have the gumption to edit it more later. Feedback is welcome. I hope this is the right place for this.
Go ahead and be different.
Maybe you're afraid your character is too weird, or outside the lore, or underdeveloped, or even overdeveloped? It doesn't matter. In case you aren't aware, you're amongst role players, and this may come as a surprise to you, but there are some pretty weird people amongst us role players. Dare I say, the majority of us are downright weird. Welcome!
So get weird. We are your people. Be among us, not outside of us. It doesn't matter if you think your character name is silly, or too cool, or not close enough to the lore. Someone might even throw a negative comment your way, but consider this: You have two options, 1.) ignore it, or 2.) RP with it. How would your character handle a heckler? Would they rise above it? Would they cry? Either is fine, even if you didn't previously plan it that way for your character. Better still if you didn't. You're role playing. Role playing doesn't mean you have to be cool, and in fact it's usually more interesting when you're not.
But, frankly, if you put your mind to it, you can probably pull off cool better than you think. Food for thought: in every story ever, there are characters who don't think the cool characters are cool. If you have a cool character, expect to encounter those characters. Every hero needs antagonists. Don't lose your personal cool over it. If you're not sure how to "roll" with it, ignore it. Brood about it. Role players love some good brooding. Go sit in the corner of the tavern by yourself for a little while and strike up a conversation out loud with the NPC bartender, because chances are someone will join in with you, and next thing you know, you're no longer hanging with the robots and you're back role playing with us humans again. As mean as we all get, we really do want you around.
Go ahead and brood.
We're all aware of those people who sit alone in the back of the tavern. Chances are, you're one of those people. We've all done it. Think about that, though. How many solo sitters does it take for you to approach one of them? Reflect on yourself. Aren't you dying for someone to come up to you and ask about your past so you can tell them you don't like to talk about it? Aren't you really dying for them to pry so you can "begrudgingly" feed them little melodramatic pieces of it while feigning disinterest with lore-related small talk? Those people are like you. They will feign disinterest too! Feign disinterest together. Brood next to each other, not apart. Although your character thinks they'll never be able to be close to anyone else ever again, honestly, you desperately hope they'll get the chance to. And they probably will! Everyone loves a good redemption story, but if Game of Thrones has taught us anything, it can be just as interesting to see how much further down rock bottom can go.
Basically, in all likelyhood, someone will want your character in their storyline. Don't look at it as giving people a chance to reject you. Give us a chance to accept you. And we don't get that chance if you don't put yourself in front of us.
Go ahead and be rude.
Do you pretend you're not eavesdropping on everyone else's RP and stop yourself from interjecting because you're afraid of butting in and being rude? Well, be rude! Butt in! Good stories are built on conflict. Stir things up! People want to see characters that intrigue them. As it happens, rude, cocky, goofy, offish, and eccentric characters are interesting. People who only say a little, but clearly have more they want to say, are interesting. You don't even have to act like someone else. If you're shy, with a shy character, people love to try and pry open shy people, in real life, and in RP. Put yourself on the chopping block and tell yourself, "This is for art."
Don't be afraid of jumping into the water because you know it'll be cold at first. In this analogy, "water" is any social situation, and "cold" is feeling rejected and left out. You've got to jump in eventually, and yes, it might be cold at first. Someone will ignore you at some point. Ask yourself, "What's their problem?" (note: not yours), and what have we learned so far? Either, 1.) they're just a jerk, don't waste your time, or 2.) they're role playing a jerk, and that's interesting! Poke and prod them. Do not be surprised when you finally do get a response right as you begin to walk away. Stop, look over your shoulder, and comment back. Next thing you know, a conversation has sprung up between the both of you, and you're role playing! Yay!
But wait! There's a meta lesson here.
I'm one of you. I'm shy. I'm introverted. Many times I've said this to someone else's apparent surprise, because the trick with me is that by now, I know that shy is something in my head. Everything I wrote here is what I tell myself to even walk INTO the tavern at all, sit down, and start listening for opportunities to insert myself into the scene. Think about the stories you like. Characters often inject themselves into situations, because that's what the writer needs them to do in order to get them into the dialogue. People interrupt each other's conversations every day.
Keep in mind that if something you try doesn't work, that's okay. The people who turn their RP into fanfiction won't include it, so the world will forget your mistake. Try it again another time or try something else. At the heart of this medium is improvisation, and improv is a yes-game. You try something, and the proper response from a good role player is, "Yes, and..." not, "No, stop talking." Good role players will try to keep the situation moving, because deep down, we really want that more than all of us brooding in the corners alone and away from each other.
Consider this my internal monologue, as a shy role player, shared with you. Some people might think this is total, useless crap, but I can't know if it's helpful to anyone if I don't take the risk and put it out there anyway. Put yourself out there. Whatever you've got is probably not total, useless crap. I'm looking at you, lurking guest who hasn't even registered yet because they're shy.
Don't be shy. Get out there and role play.
Hiro
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Knight Kat - 06-10-2014
This is excellent, and deserves a bump.
OMG there are a lot of shy RPers out there, and I use to be one of them to an extreme extent. It took me a month of trying before I got any real RP. Or, should I say, a month of lurking like a creeper. If I could go from -that- to where I am now, I don't see why anyone couldn't. I got past it with experience. I just kept trying and trying and trying.
Do you mind if others add advice to this thread?
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Melodia - 06-10-2014
Thank you for this thread. Just...thank you.
And I don't know about anyone else or the OP, but I would love to see what others have for tips or advice.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Roen - 06-10-2014
Your comment to the lurking guest who hasn't even registered yet made me chuckle.
Great positive encouraging guide!
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Jancis - 06-10-2014
This is really useful to someone like me. I always feel so awkward and I blank on what to approach people and say. It wouldn't be too hard to just ask if this spot is open or lean on the railing and just say hello and why are you here.
Thank you so much!
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Aya - 06-10-2014
Breaking the ice is the hardest part!
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Melodia - 06-10-2014
(06-10-2014, 11:22 AM)Aya Wrote: Breaking the ice is the hardest part!This......x1000000000000
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Kage - 06-10-2014
Quote:Don't look at it as giving people a chance to reject you. Give us a chance to accept you. And we don't get that chance if you don't put yourself in front of us.
I learned to do this and it's my advice I will give everyone. Can't RP with someone who's not there. I mean, there's a reason why Kage sat on the railing at Quicksand a lot.
It's taken me months and I still need times where everyday I tell myself "Ok just go in there, sit on your railing. Emote. Just... go!"
Early on, Kage was given the best IC advice ever that I've tried to use OOCly as well. "Fake it." Either fake not being shy until it changes or continue to fake it as needed.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Whittledown - 06-10-2014
Here's an easy way to break the ice, I use this as Hornet a lot:
Walk up to someone, address them directly, and mistake them for someone else (preferably some person from your past, a childhood acquaintance maybe). When they correct you the situation can be a humorous little chance to strike up a conversation. "Wow you look just like an old friend of mine..." can lead to all sorts of good stuff.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Maia - 06-10-2014
I do happen to play a character who is shy, awkward, and extremely lacking in self confidence. She also tends to get overwhelmed in busy/loud places, since she's very reliant on her hearing. But, considering these traits, I also gave her a child-like wonder and curiosity about the world, so in the few times I've taken her into the Quicksand, I'll emote her as actively eavesdropping while talking to Momodi. She may even throw out a humorously innocent comment about a specific conversation that may be going on.
Sometimes this works, and sometimes it doesn't. But no harm done if no one directly interacts! If nothing else, I'm sure many people are still reading what I type, just like I'm reading what they type. So, there's an OoC interaction even if there isn't an IC one. I've even partied with non-RPers who say they hang around the Quicksand while waiting on their DF, just to listen in. In one of my more comical scenes, a non-RPer followed us all around Ul'dah, just so they could keep listening because they were so amused. XD (Not saying that I'm particularly funny, but these two characters happened to play well off one another.) So, my point is, even if it feels like no one is paying attention to you - there very likely is.
I've also had people /tell me in advance, OoCly, asking if their character can get involved. I think that about 90% of the time, people will be very receptive and welcoming in response, especially if they're RPing at a public place. If they wanted the RP to be invite only, then a FC House or a random patch of wilderness would be a better venue.
So, if you think of a "hook" to insert your character into a scene and just aren't sure if you'll mess something up, a quick /tell would likely clear up any doubt. I've found polite OoC discussion to be very handy when feeling out certain things (combat and RPing with new people, especially.)
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Hiroshu - 06-10-2014
Quote:Do you mind if others add advice to this thread?
Quote:And I don't know about anyone else or the OP, but I would love to see what others have for tips or advice.
![[Image: blush.gif]](https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/images/smilies/blush.gif)
Please do! I didn't realize I would spark so many great reactions. The idea that so many people would be so eager to jump in and help others with their shyness just drives my point home.
Quote:This is really useful to someone like me. I always feel so awkward and I blank on what to approach people and say. It wouldn't be too hard to just ask if this spot is open or lean on the railing and just say hello and why are you here.
(06-10-2014, 11:23 AM)Rurutani Wrote:(06-10-2014, 11:22 AM)Aya Wrote: Breaking the ice is the hardest part!This......x1000000000000
Quote:Early on, Kage was given the best IC advice ever that I've tried to use OOCly as well. "Fake it." Either fake not being shy until it changes or continue to fake it as needed.
Exactly! Fake it until you make it.
Quote:Here's an easy way to break the ice, I use this as Hornet a lot:
Walk up to someone, address them directly, and mistake them for someone else (preferably some person from your past, a childhood acquaintance maybe). When they correct you the situation can be a humorous little chance to strike up a conversation. "Wow you look just like an old friend of mine..." can lead to all sorts of good stuff.
That's a great idea. It's an action that calls for a reaction. Interaction is good story telling. The fact that they have to correct you means you've accomplished your mission: interacting with other role players. It gives you an opportunity to hint at a little piece of your back story, which most role players will jump at the chance to help you expand on.
I can admit to feeling The Dread set in after posting this up. You know, "Pssh, no one's gonna like this, they're all gonna be like, 'Who's this guy?'" But again, that's the meta lesson. I had to stick my neck out there before I could know it would be worth it. In short, take this whole thread as evidence that you aren't the only shy person in the world, and we're all out here ready to meet you, greet you, and support you. Thanks for all the support, everybody.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Lady Rivienne - 06-10-2014
This is great advice, thank you for posting this. But, I oft find myself having a difficult time trying to approach someone ..or others.. because I, unfortunately, don't think my role-playing skill is up to par. Or I don't find it appealing.
Ah confidence, where have you gone. Hopefully this can help me with my issue. Got to try and try again!
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Aya - 06-10-2014
Girls only like guys with skills... nunchuck skills... bow hunting skills... computer hacking skills... RP skills...
You definitely shouldn't worry about any "RP skills" (and I am not even sure how you could define this), its something done purely for fun and entertainment, just go with what you've got and have fun, and don't think too hard!
I understand the worry about bothering someone, and I think that's inevitable to avoid. RPing as a barmaid I walk up and intrude on people all the time, and I know some nights a lot of them are going to wave a frustrated hand and ignore me, and that's just the way it goes. But far more often you run into people who were sitting around just looking for any opportunity to RP and they'll love it, and you'll enjoy it, and dealing with that mixed bag is far more fun than sitting around doing nothing - especially since what you'll remember the next day is the fun you had and those people that you momentarily bothered fade away pretty quickly.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Hiroshu - 06-10-2014
(06-10-2014, 12:23 PM)Lady Rivienne Wrote: This is great advice, thank you for posting this. But, I oft find myself having a difficult time trying to approach someone ..or others.. because I, unfortunately, don't think my role-playing skill is up to par. Or I don't find it appealing.
Ah confidence, where have you gone. Hopefully this can help me with my issue. Got to try and try again!
Practice makes perfect. Best advice I've ever taken to heart is, "Don't sell yourself short." It's easy to sit inside our heads and overanalyze our faults. Truth is, we all make those mistakes: boring RP, typos, mistakes with emotes, the list goes on. Don't let that get between you and having fun with your character. Just jump in!
I like what Maia added:
(06-10-2014, 11:57 AM)Maia Wrote: I do happen to play a character who is shy, awkward, and extremely lacking in self confidence. She also tends to get overwhelmed in busy/loud places, since she's very reliant on her hearing. But, considering these traits, I also gave her a child-like wonder and curiosity about the world, so in the few times I've taken her into the Quicksand, I'll emote her as actively eavesdropping while talking to Momodi. She may even throw out a humorously innocent comment about a specific conversation that may be going on.
Sometimes this works, and sometimes it doesn't. But no harm done if no one directly interacts!
This is both good practice for your own style of RP, and a good low-risk method for breaking the ice.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Hiro - 06-10-2014
I've made use of the fact that FFXIV allows one to pseudo-generate eye contact with other players via the targeting system. A lot of Roleplay has sprung up for me as I idle eating cake or a sandwich (seriously, don't become a proficient baker and live alone, all you do is bake, drink, and indulge in MMO's) toggling between people Roleplaying or standing near me. Getting caught staring or checking people out as an introvert can be pretty amusing in itself.
The two Communities are quite accepting in general, and while it's been mentioned before, people certainly won't mind a /Tell asking them whether or not you're intruding or can join them.