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+--- Thread: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall (/showthread.php?tid=9147)
Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Steel Wolf - 12-04-2014
As I've stated in other threads in this forum, I've returned after a long stint away post 2.1. I missed this game and playing it does feel good, and despite a fair amount of its continued design decisions, it's good to be back. Genuinely. For srs.
The problem I have, however, is one I've experienced in MMOs that I've played in since time immemorial. The problem of insular, cliqued-off roleplay.
Even within my own FC, Aeon--who are excellent people as people, I do wanna clarify--feel like I'm outside looking in. They run events on days and times that progress a story that I can't take a part in because work...and I feel like I'd be interrupting somehow if I try to, like, strike up a conversation. Despite the fact that nobody in Aeon has given off that impression, I still feel this way and I don't know what the sh** to do to shake it.
So, okay, look to outside RP sources, right? Maybe try to break in to the barstool RP scene? But even then that feels itchy as hell to me too and can be hard to manage.
It likely doesn't help my own personal perception within my FC that I just quietly creep along, leveling my Warrior....I'm like a crazy cat lady, except instead of collecting cats I collect Leve allowances and talk to my chocobo like a creepy person talks to a body pillow.
I need help. I need to have that "She's All That" break-out moment...or "Taming of the Shrew" if you prefer the really literary version. I have to Kool-Aid Man my ass through this wall of cliques and personal indecision.
Has any of you felt this way? And what did you do to have that moment?
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Gegenji - 12-04-2014
Felt that way and still do, doubly so since I haven't actually joined an FC yet. Little Chachan is an alt, after all, and I've been quickly trying to retread ground to get him up to speed and have access to everything. I even made a mad dash for Revanent's Hold well before the MSQ would've sent me there just so I had access to the aetheryte and everything there.
I don't know if I've wedged myself into a clique, or am just a hanger-on sitting on the edge eager to hop in when they'll let me, but I've managed to stumble across a few folks that I can RP fairly regularly with. There isn't much of a plot, per se, beyond "hey this happened/got mentioned" last time... which I think lets it be pretty open and free-form... and there hasn't really been any major events (beyond a theft and Chachan's durdling quest to become a hero).
I don't know if I've actually managed to "Kool-Aid Man" it, but I've just tried to be a bit more bold about jumping into RP if it seems like something Chachan would home in on. I'm also trying to break my habit about worrying overly-much about bothering folks and poking them via /tell to see if they're up for some RP.
So, I suppose the best I can offer is myself as a person to RP with. At least we have Gran as a talking point to start things off with.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Inessa Hara - 12-04-2014
Hrm. . . Generally, if you're missing event's then you probably need to find another RP FC that operates on whatever prime time you're on.
With that said, if you're shy, there is not much anyone can really do about that. It all comes down to the player having the nerve to take the dive to be able to initiate RP with others. Ive had to do it before, it can be unnerving but it's a rewarding RP experience in the end.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Warren Castille - 12-04-2014
I'll bite.
Hate to be the bearer of potentially bad news, but if it's group-based RP you're looking for, and the group you're in runs when you're not available... It might be time to look for a new group. Of course, that's the nuclear option.
It can be hard to strike up and find anything meaningful or fun with "randoms." Any given night in the <local hub> can provide you with roleplay, but that's not crunchy enough all the time, right? It's bar talk. It's chatter. It's talking about the big things, but not the big things themselves. If you want an arc, you're not liable to find it milling around and discussing things over drinks.
So, what's the solution? I don't know! If it is a character arc you're looking for, you can always try to build it yourself, but that still comes down to solo writing. You could kick off a thread on the forums here and look for people to run along with. It's something I tend to do when I've got the itch to roleplay but don't have the means/time/group to do so. My first experience with the RPC here was a long (long, long) series of solo-posts that ended up being accompanied by others wishing to join.
It's going to sound selfish, and I suppose it is, really, but if you're not looking out for your needs or wants, you can't expect anyone else to. An already-churning FC storyline tends to not wait for many, so your options are limited, doubly-so because you're legitimately at work during those windows. Ask them if it's possible to move times? Ask them if there's anyone around for off-hours catch-up or sideplot?
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Parvacake - 12-04-2014
Best thing to do is just thrust yourself out there.
Fo' seriously.
I was in an old FC before that was made up of friends who had known each other for years. Many of them had their own patterns and things they generally liked to do amongst themselves and it was a hard group to meld into because of it since if ever anything WAS happening it was always the same 2-5 people.
It wasn't until after I was out of the FC and had my character more actively in public and going out of my way to just DIVE into random RP did it explode. In some of the best possible ways. Granted, it left me with such a full plate of RP that I didn't have time to juggle all the people I wanted too or that I should have made time for, but it was one of the greatest decisions I made.
Cliques are every where. Best to roll up your sleeves, spit to the side, and start singing the 'Fuck it All' rendition of 'Let it Go' as you barrel on through
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Unnamed Mercenary - 12-04-2014
I'm in agreement with what most of the people have said above.Â
As unnerving as it can be, sometimes the only way to start RP is to be the one to initiate it, even in the possibility that it could crash and burn. Waiting for someone else to "figure out" that you're looking for RP, make the connection that you want to be involved, and find a way to insert you into a storyline that's currently running is not an average behavior.Â
Yes, cliques form. Sometimes the members recognize that and are happy that way. Other times, they have no idea that they've formed some group that doesn't seem inviting. Only way to really find out is to ask. As others have said, if they're doing a lot of events that you'd like to be involved in, but can't due to time constraints, the responsibility does rely on you letting them know that. An inviting group will look for ways to accommodate more people, or will find alternatives to help get you involved. But it's that initial push that needs to be done.Â
Best of luck with getting more involved. Remember, it's that initial communication that really makes all the difference! A group of people each waiting for someone to act will just sit there quietly.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Steel Wolf - 12-04-2014
Thank you everyone for your kind responses. I want to re-clarify again--I'm not trying to bad-mouth anyone in the FC I'm in. I feel as though these are all personal hurdles and nothing that, I can willfully say, were placed in front of me.
To that point....I'd rather not take the "nuclear option" as was put it. Not if I can help it, anyway.
I suppose it's perhaps just as simple as leaping in. It's hard to "just" do that though when one has built up this indecision and worry around themselves. It's rather a bit like the Qarn dungeon. Lemme explain.
I had been locked down from progressing the Main Scenario Quests because I had to do Qarn. I had never done Qarn. By the time I was in that part of the MSQ, Qarn was done so hard that being a tank without prior knowledge felt like a kiss of death. So, I didn't progress. I let the game languish on my desktop for months.
I return. Some folks in the FC very kindly dragged my silly arse through, out of practice with my Paladin tanking maneuvers and completely blind.
It was easy. Piss easy. Embarrassingly easy.
Maybe it's just that simple? Nah....can't be....can it?
Thanks for the encouragement guys. T^T
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Warren Castille - 12-04-2014
You definitely weren't smearing your group and no one should interpret it that way. Sometimes schedules just don't sync up. Everyone should hopefully understand that.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Aris - 12-04-2014
I think we're going through a similar thing! Most are already in their own clique, and it's quite difficult to fit in with that. I find it very nerve wracking and sad knowing I haven't got a place anywhere, not just OOC but then I'll need my characters to fit in too. xDÂ
I'm get incredibly anxious just talking to people, and getting into roleplaying is definitely a big step! But it does seem like it's a case of just.. going for it. The first few times doing it will be the hardest, but it'll get easier. Ideally finding a group of people who are on at similar times as you (that's definitely my biggest problem as I'm in the EU) would be helpful. Perhaps try some different linkshells if you'd rather not leave your FC? I'm currently looking for a FC as well.
I haven't had the guts to do it with anyone yet, but if you don't mind a newbie I'd happily RP with you if you wanted a partner. Or perhaps I'll see you while we both hunt for a group to join.Â
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Maia - 12-04-2014
I might actually recommend pulling aside one of the leaders in your FC, expressing that you would like to be more involved, and ask for their suggestions on how you can do so. I'm sure that any FC or LS has some tools in place to help new or odd-timezone members keep up with the story. ^^
I know that reading a summary isn't the same as attending an event in person, but it can help to connect the dots! I'm sure that a leader of an RP LS or FC might also have additional suggestions on avenues you can use to "break in". After they offer those tools, it's just a matter of using them to the best of your ability!
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Unnamed Mercenary - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 11:07 AM)Steel Wolf Wrote: I return. Â Some folks in the FC very kindly dragged my silly arse through, out of practice with my Paladin tanking maneuvers and completely blind.
It was easy. Â Piss easy. Â Embarrassingly easy.
Maybe it's just that simple? Nah....can't be....can it?
Thanks for the encouragement guys. Â T^T
While I totally think WAR > PLD any day, yes. It's totally that easy! (disclaimer: with the right people)
As discussed in one of the other recent-ish topics about finding RP, a lot of the "really social" players might also be trying to figure out how to schedule the vastly larger amount of RP they want to do into the smaller time boxes they can do it. The same way it'd make your day to be randomly approached by a person looking to RP and hit it off, try making someone else too! Especially if you don't know them! There's no 100% chance of success, but it does work reasonably well. "Just" is a terrible word for these types of things though. It can be scary to "just" go and approach someone. Someone "just" may not be looking for that type of RP. But working on getting yourself out there is the Kool-aid man bursting through the wall experience. Show some awesome!
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Volk - 12-04-2014
I definitely understand where you are coming from with this thread. I feel very similar, but am trying my best to change my experience. I know this isn't exactly sage-like wisdom or the answer you are looking for, but if you (or anyone else reading this thread for that matter) ever see my character around i truly mean it when I say that I am open to walk ups.
I'm hardly an RP socialite like some of these fine folks, but my typical modus operandi is to find one or two good friends ICly, then try to explore their network of friends and forge new connections and interests. I will say that Balmung seems like it is no place for the bashful and I've had to be a bit socially bold in places where I'd normally not be on occasion!
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Zhavi - 12-04-2014
Pretty much I always feel like I have something to prove to everyone, maybe especially myself. But, I also want to rp. So, fuck it, if I see someone interesting I send them a pm and just hope that they'll be forgiving enough of my eccentricities and vagaries to want to keep rping with me. Some people ditch me after awhile, others stick with me for years (and I always have this nagging feeling that I'm being annoying, but eh). The only thing you can do is keep pushing and keep moving forward, because the other option is to not move forward at all. To me, the latter just isn't acceptable.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Unnamed Mercenary - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 11:38 AM)Ameline Valtin Wrote: I definitely understand where you are coming from with this thread. I feel very similar, but am trying my best to change my experience. I know this isn't exactly sage-like wisdom or the answer you are looking for, but if you (or anyone else reading this thread for that matter) ever see my character around i truly mean it when I say that I am open to walk ups.
I'm hardly an RP socialite like some of these fine folks, but my typical modus operandi is to find one or two good friends ICly, then try to explore their network of friends and forge new connections and interests. I will say that Balmung seems like it is no place for the bashful and I've had to be a bit socially bold in places where I'd normally not be on occasion!
^That's me. I leeched onto a couple people and slowly expanded. ...I've had about 6 months to do it, so my network's got quite a few people. The downside to wanting to RP with lots of people is itself though. How does one manage to RP with everyone?!Â
I need their scheduling secrets
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Gegenji - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 11:51 AM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:(12-04-2014, 11:38 AM)Ameline Valtin Wrote: I definitely understand where you are coming from with this thread. I feel very similar, but am trying my best to change my experience. I know this isn't exactly sage-like wisdom or the answer you are looking for, but if you (or anyone else reading this thread for that matter) ever see my character around i truly mean it when I say that I am open to walk ups.
I'm hardly an RP socialite like some of these fine folks, but my typical modus operandi is to find one or two good friends ICly, then try to explore their network of friends and forge new connections and interests. I will say that Balmung seems like it is no place for the bashful and I've had to be a bit socially bold in places where I'd normally not be on occasion!
^That's me. I leeched onto a couple people and slowly expanded. ...I've had about 6 months to do it, so my network's got quite a few people. The downside to wanting to RP with lots of people is itself though. How does one manage to RP with everyone?!Â
I need their scheduling secrets
I... I think that's kinda what I'm doing. I managed to start some RPs with a couple folks and Chachan's acquaintances have slowly begun to balloon out from there.