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No Longer Exists · **10-26-2015, 09:28 AM**

(10-26-2015, 09:09 AM)Kattoki Wrote: Thanks for all the comments, I understand what you all mean. Though I am not looking for love online, I still have those feelings while talking to some people. A lot of people would say not to RP with personal emotions, but I wouldnt RP without emotions since that is my whole goal of RPing. IC most of my characters are looking for love, most never really got very far. But with some people like, this person in particular I feel that a IC relationship would work out.
I feel that it has to be agreed on by both parties of course, there have been IC relationships I have cringed at simply because those people dont tear at my heartstrings the way some of the others do.

Sometimes I even feel relationships IC are not such a good thing since they can take away from normal RP with others.

Meanwhile OOC I am very much feeling my own characters feelings, therefore I feel in love with that character but I am not going to try an actual relationship OOC with that person. I admit it would be nice, but I dont see it happening too much.

So just to clarify for people when I said I am falling in love for another character, I mean that in the IC sense of my character is falling for them. But OOC I am feeling these feelings and a real connection between the two.

Sounds like we were all very confused by your OP there. lol

Okay, so! A friend and I had been shipping our characters hardcore for a looooooooong time of playing early on when this game came out. She's married, I'm not, but damned if we both weren't utterly in love with how our characters were as a power couple. OOC, there were no personal feels other than knowing she was an amazing person and a great friend. IC though, we were constantly gushing about things and what we loved most or dreaming about new stuff the two were gonna do together, yadda yadda yadda. So in that respect, I feel there is absolutely nothing wrong with falling in love with characters played by others. I have ZOMG feels for lots of characters played by people I know and specifically a man-crush on Warren Castille because Reasons. Bromance! Enjoy it, it makes the game a lot more fun.

-Hatter

Askier · **10-26-2015, 09:34 AM**

Ummm, It sounds like you are suffering from SERIOUS emotional bleed and that's a red flag situation.

I mean I understand people rp and sometimes make connections oocly. Heck I am friends to some degree with my.whole fc oocly.Â

But you very openly say that you are experiencing your character's emotions and that's a sign you need to walk away and get off the game for a bit. Â IC and OOC should never mix. Your character's relationship with this other character and your ooc relationship with the person who plays the character are two different things. Period.

Now if your OOC relationship becomes more than a friendship, great. But it should become that because of things that happen that are unrelated to IC things. Cause if you go after this person feeling 'love' and they have no desire to be anything more than friends ooc, you are setting yourself up for drama that will very likely ruin your friendship and your IC relationship.

Kattoki · **10-26-2015, 09:42 AM**

(10-26-2015, 09:28 AM)Black Hat Wrote:
(10-26-2015, 09:09 AM)Kattoki Wrote: Thanks for all the comments, I understand what you all mean. Though I am not looking for love online, I still have those feelings while talking to some people. A lot of people would say not to RP with personal emotions, but I wouldnt RP without emotions since that is my whole goal of RPing. IC most of my characters are looking for love, most never really got very far. But with some people like, this person in particular I feel that a IC relationship would work out.
I feel that it has to be agreed on by both parties of course, there have been IC relationships I have cringed at simply because those people dont tear at my heartstrings the way some of the others do.

Sometimes I even feel relationships IC are not such a good thing since they can take away from normal RP with others.

Meanwhile OOC I am very much feeling my own characters feelings, therefore I feel in love with that character but I am not going to try an actual relationship OOC with that person. I admit it would be nice, but I dont see it happening too much.

So just to clarify for people when I said I am falling in love for another character, I mean that in the IC sense of my character is falling for them. But OOC I am feeling these feelings and a real connection between the two.

Sounds like we were all very confused by your OP there. lol

Okay, so! A friend and I had been shipping our characters hardcore for a looooooooong time of playing early on when this game came out. She's married, I'm not, but damned if we both weren't utterly in love with how our characters were as a power couple. OOC, there were no personal feels other than knowing she was an amazing person and a great friend. IC though, we were constantly gushing about things and what we loved most or dreaming about new stuff the two were gonna do together, yadda yadda yadda. So in that respect, I feel there is absolutely nothing wrong with falling in love with characters played by others. I have ZOMG feels for lots of characters played by people I know and specifically a man-crush on Warren Castille because Reasons. Bromance! Enjoy it, it makes the game a lot more fun.

-Hatter

Its hard to describe feelings sometimes. So I didnt really know how to ask the question

Kattoki · **10-26-2015, 09:50 AM**

(10-26-2015, 09:34 AM)Askier Wrote: Ummm, It sounds like you are suffering from SERIOUS emotional bleed and that's a red flag situation.

I mean I understand people rp and sometimes make connections oocly. Heck I am friends to some degree with my.whole fc oocly.Â

But you very openly say that you are experiencing your character's emotions and that's a sign you need to walk away and get off the game for a bit. Â IC and OOC should never mix. Your character's relationship with this other character and your ooc relationship with the person who plays the character are two different things. Period.

Now if your OOC relationship becomes more than a friendship, great. But it should become that because of things that happen that are unrelated to IC things. Cause if you go after this person feeling 'love' and they have no desire to be anything more than friends ooc, you are setting yourself up for drama that will very likely ruin your friendship and your IC relationship.

Ah, I get what you mean. I play and RP because I find it fun, that is my most important thing I keep reminding myself, have fun. Emotions or characters feelings IC, OOC, can be a big NO for some people. But most people I talk to say they feel their characters emotions OOC. OOC however I do not act on it. I just enjoy having those feeling whether its of the character in love or feeling depressed for some reason. It lets me see what its like to step into my characters shoes for a moment, and feel what they feel. Just a reminder OOC I wont ahead and be all "My character loves you, so I love you too" it just doesnt work that way and I am just trying to have fun.

If not for the emotional side RPing, I would not RP at all.

***Teadrinker*** · **10-26-2015, 11:16 AM**

A lot of posts here have a lot of wisdom. That being said I've always been hesitant to say you should -never- develop feelings for someone because of bleed. The reason for this being is that meeting someone you click with enough to share these kinds of intimately nerdy things with is pretty rare and I'd never advise something that could result in someone passing that up.

I've also known people who somehow end up romantically OOCly entangled with just about anyone and everyone they have an IC relationship with. This is the other side of the spectrum and is just....unstable.

As far as having a crush on a -character- this is totally normal I think. In my mind, I equate it to having an attraction to a character from a movie or TV show. They aren't real. Like I'm in LOVE with Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock. I think the character of Sherlock is hot as hell. Does that mean I'm in love with Benedict as a person? Noooooope. And he would think people that think that way are creepy.

This is also why I tend to shy away a bit from people who openly roleplay as themselves. That's just....way too blurry. That being said, all of our characters have a bit of ourselves in them, just like I'm sure there is a bit of Benedict Cumberbatch in his portrayal of Sherlock, but in the end it's not him by any stretch of the imagination.

I hope my incredibly dorky example was helpful. Moogle

SicketySix · **10-26-2015, 11:42 AM**

Now that I further understand what you was trying to say, I think it's a more normal feeling then most here would care to admit. As Teadrinker already said, it's like an attachment to a movie character. You love them, but you are not in love with them. So as far as that goes it's perectly normal.

And also, as was stated above again, being warned about falling for someone OCC while IC, quit can be a slippery slope but hey,mothers have done it. Just go with what you feel. If you feel that the other person may feel the same way, go for it. Just be prepared that they may not feel the same way.

As far as OOC friendships go, I'd love to be OOC friends with anyone I'm IC friends with. So no harm there.

-no longer matters- · **10-26-2015, 12:37 PM**

Ohhhhh this one is a touchy subject.

Okay Do not fall in love OOC with an IC character any more than you would any fictitious character. The character is just that a fictitious character, and seldom is an accurate representation of the player behind the character.Â

Now if you and the other player are building up feelings for each other because you are clicking OOC (like chatting getting to know each other etc.) That's all well and good. You're both grown adults and decide how to act appropriately from there I would imagine.

Jana · **10-26-2015, 06:46 PM**

Mai Waifu played my character's love interest in another game, but we didn't make an OOC relationship jump until we had been playing this game (separately from each other) for at least a year.

Relationships you make with RPers in a game can be the real deal. But you should take some time out of character to examine how you really feel, and about whom. I know that if someone fell in love with my characters as a proxy for falling for me, I'd have to ask them to give me space; my characters are usually nothing like how I really am as a person.

Warren Castille · **10-28-2015, 11:30 AM**

As everyone else has echoed, this is a tricky situation. It can be difficult to avoid the obvious pitfalls of meeting someone new and meshing well with them; Look at the sheer number of failed Eternal Bonds in game because folks confused compatible friendship with True Love and ran headlong into things that didn't have any real staying power.

It's entirely possible you've found a very good friend. It's possible you just found an Internet Person who you get along with in these circumstances. It's possible you've met your FUTURE HUSBANDWIFE WHOAMG WATCH OUT. Really, though, it's not possible to tell these things with any modicum of speed.

If your character gets along with their character, see how things develop without an agenda. It can be easy to get all starry-eyed and start thinking of tailed and horned little babeez but the further you build up expectations the harder it can be if things don't go that way.

This can be repeated for OOC interactions: If you enjoy spending time chatting with someone, continue to do so, but don't feel obligated to think it's love or romance; Somethings we just like hanging out with people.

To tell a tangentially-related story: A friend of mine from some games past was in our guild and he had the bad habit of mistaking any sort of positive female contact as romance. If he liked hanging out with someone, it was because he clearly ushered romantic feelings for them. If they said or did anything nice for him, it was clearly them sending signals. He ended up creeping out every female in our guild because he'd get mad at them for messing with him, simply because he was unable to discern friendship from relationship. Everyone knows That Guy, and it is important to never, ever be That Guy.

I guess to sum up, my advice would be DON'T RUSH. Let things grow naturally, if they grow at all, and just see where things go.

SicketySix · **10-28-2015, 11:41 AM**

I realize that there was a certain level of understanding between what the OP wrote, and what the meant to say.

That being said, even if it wasn't a misunderstanding the only thinking would of cautioned against was it happening so fast. Bad mistakes get made that way. And then there was the "friends say it's love" statement....

I have no issue at all if you feel for someone, we're humans and we like to know that someone has feelings for us, amd to us having feelings for them. It's just tricky in an RP setting because my character could totally be head over heel in love with yours, and I may not even like you OOC. That's why everyone is saying this is hard to answer.

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Falling in love with another Character?

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