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Aldotsk · **12-08-2014, 11:33 AM**

(12-02-2014, 12:30 PM)Melodia Wrote: I have a question as I seem to run across this problem a lot in this game and so much so that I have had to do mass purges of my friend list lately.

Why is it that people I tend to meet in this game are friendly to a point and then decide to cool and not to a minor degree but to a point where they no longer even want to talk? It's baffling to me. I have many many of my "friends" tell me one thing and then do the complete opposite, so long as it is with someone else. It's almost like a shiny object syndrome with some folks and I am wondering...is this common in MMOs? Or just here? Is this common mostly with rp'ers? Because my "friends" (not all.....but a lot) seem fairweather type and discourages me from getting out and meeting folks because I don't want to get burned or lied to or treated coldly again. :-/Â

Any thoughts?

I dont mind having "friends" that I met on internet, but I am very paranoid about who I talk to and who I meet that I have never hung out with in person. Which is why I am very against online relationships/long distance relationships or even online friendships. I feel that they are not fully trustworthy.

Those who open up to me freely and somehow I feel the same chemistry to them - then I usually open up and become friends regardless. I dont give away my Facebook info and I dont accept their request right away. I know -few- people who tried to add me on Facebook and I've actually had a long time to think about it to add/accept their friendships.

I also dont like to talk everyday 24/7 wasting my life in this forum or other community sites. I only contribute when I need to, and other times I play games or do other things outside like a normal person as much as I can and hang out with friends. I don't want to feel like I am isolated and be anti-social when I already am from jocks and regular sports fans and beer/alcohol drinking folks.

I understand what you mean by closing your friendships IRL because of gaming/or other reasons, but should you want to ramble or talk about it, feel free to add me on skype. But I dont usually talk about my life unless I feel that it's at the point that I can trust you or anyone else who adds me.

ArmachiA · **12-08-2014, 12:23 PM**

I'm a very distant person by nature, so maybe I can explain some of my thought process.

I'm an extrovert. I thrive in a group environment. I'm really good at parties, the people who I went to to Las Vegas with can tell you I'm really upbeat and talkative, I'm good with people and I'm not really afraid of people... in a group environment. Group RP is easy, getting people together for group RP is easy, planning and telling stories for players is easy. Hell, making friends is fairly easy.... to a point.

My sticking point is one on one.

I will always talk to people I like in /FC or /LS. If you aren't in one of those with me, chances are I'm not going to talk to you much unless you send me a /tell. I'm not... comfortable with sending people tells by my nature. It feels really personal to me, since no one can see what your talking about and there are very few people in the game I will send tells to first (Counting: 2. a whole 2) and both of those people sent me tells first at the start. My first inclination is to go talk in /ls or /fc so everyone can see the conversation to and jump in on it. A lot of people find this strange about me, since I'm really good at directing people and unafraid of asking for rp or whatever. It's generally because I'm doing what needs to be done to move the story along, RP isn't personal so I don't worry about it so much.

I keep a lot of my personal information close to my chest. Not for any real reason other then I need to feel comfortable giving it out.

BUT, in my mind, I'm cool with a lot of people. Even if I don't talk to them very much it doesn't mean I don't like them or even that I'm not friends with them. I actually don't mind if people send me tells. I'll talk back or whatever, it's just not something I do very much. The best place to really socialize with me is in a group setting. Once you're not anywhere in a group that can see me talk, I generally don't go out of my way to make sure you can.

Also, I get BUSY in this game. I used to be the Guild Leader AND the Storyteller for my FC which was easily 13-14 hour days of doing nothing but feilding ooc questions, ic questions, raiding schedules, and drama. My entire day would look like: Get up, take a shower, write for an hour, get on the game, do roulettes, 10 hours of Guild responsibilities, some rp, go to bed. If I got up anytime past 10am, I would lament I wouldn't have time to do what I wanted to do that day. I GET BUSY.
Still do. I'm just the storyteller now but it still takes a lot of my time.

I'm like this is real life too. Anyone of my friends can tell you that's it's pretty normal for me to fall off the radar for awhile. I'm an extrovert and I'm social, but I also need time to just be a loner too - write a story or play a game. This game forces me to be social everyday so it's a little different.

THere are reasons for my behavior, but those are TMI really, so I hope I just explained it well enough XD

Melodia · **12-08-2014, 12:25 PM**

(12-08-2014, 12:23 PM)ArmachiA Wrote: -snip-

Armi you know you're always good with me! *hugs*

Melodia · **12-12-2014, 09:09 AM**

Follow up question....

Say you have friends who've been quiet for a while. Where's the line between between being a pest (i.e. sending a hello or something) and just letting go? When is that line crossed? I ask because there's some folks who I say hello to and get nothing back, if I keep pushing until I get a reply I fear being a pest and making things worse. <------------*has been called an annoying pest before* Sad

ProvaDiServo · **12-12-2014, 11:30 AM**

(12-12-2014, 09:09 AM)Melodia Wrote: Follow up question....

Say you have friends who've been quiet for a while. Where's the line between between being a pest (i.e. sending a hello or something) and just letting go? When is that line crossed? I ask because there's some folks who I say hello to and get nothing back, if I keep pushing until I get a reply I fear being a pest and making things worse. <------------*has been called an annoying pest before*

I tend to send a "sup" post once and only once. if I don't reach em then I assume they'll get back to me at a later date.

K'nahli · **12-12-2014, 12:33 PM**

(12-02-2014, 04:20 PM)Coatleque Wrote: For my part, I am typically a quiet person. Â My friends list is 99% people who added me first. Â And I rarely send people tells unless it's to clarify something from RP. Â Doesn't mean I don't like people. Â I'm just not one who engages others.

This is me in most cases.

Naja · **12-12-2014, 08:31 PM**

Quote:Why is it that people I tend to meet in this game are friendly to a point and then decide to cool and not to a minor degree but to a point where they no longer even want to talk? It's baffling to me.

Hmm, I think sometimes people are like this because your and their personalities don't mix? People can sometimes put up a front when you initially meet them (and perhaps appear super friendly), then as you get to know them, either you or they realize that you both have less in common than you both initially thought. I think that if that's the case, then you shouldn't ignore the person who you don't mesh well with, and at least say via tell or a letter that you can't be friends. I believe that's kinder than stringing someone along.

But really, if someone's been treating you that way then they aren't worth keeping around as a friend. I think a lot of people like the idea of making genuine friends in MMO's, but honestly, I believe that unless you connect with the person on a deeper level, then you're more than likely just acquaintances.

Quote:Say you have friends who've been quiet for a while. Where's the line between between being a pest (i.e. sending a hello or something) and just letting go? When is that line crossed? I ask because there's some folks who I say hello to and get nothing back, if I keep pushing until I get a reply I fear being a pest and making things worse. <------------*has been called an annoying pest before* Sad

Perhaps the first time they're just busy. Especially if you're messaging, say, a popular roleplayer. I'd try maybe 2-3 times. After that, it quickly becomes apparent that they don't want to talk to you. I wouldn't be discouraged though. It takes work to get good friends, but an online game renders the search particularly difficult. You have people playing the game, roleplaying in the game, and doing AFK things. This naturally makes people distracted and stalls their replies.

I think even with all of that going on that it's still a great platform for potential friendships *IF* you have things in common OOC that makes the friendship more solid.

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MMOs and Fairweather Friends

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes