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ArmachiA · **12-24-2014, 04:18 PM**

It's true, people DO do that, but it's actually pretty easy to sort them out by using tricks for anyone who tries to just get with your character (Trying to get into a relationship too fast, falling in love with your character in one meeting, pressuring you for erp, etc etc). As someone who is completely open to the idea of polyamory irl, I'm even concerned about the people who only use it in roleplay to get their rocks off, but it's like that with anything sexual and you just need to be wary of the red flags

Val · **12-24-2014, 04:21 PM**

(12-24-2014, 04:07 PM)Edvyn Wrote: i am bringing up an actual concern - namely that there are people who use polyamory as an excuse rather than a storytelling device

There are people that use plot devices of ALL kinds as an excuse to eventually find a way to ERP. As she said, if people just want to ERP each other all day, is it really doing anything to hurt you so long as they do it in privacy?Â

As others continued to state, this thread is certainly to help people RP it well and open a general discussion on it. I believe that it can open someone's eyes to see it as not a necessarily bad thing so long as the people enjoying it are happy, and is certainly something for people to try if they're considering it IRL and are closeted to the idea otherwise.

Mod note by FreelanceWizard: Removed some quoted text that I excised from the thread.

Edvyn · **12-24-2014, 04:23 PM**

(12-24-2014, 04:18 PM)ArmachiA Wrote: It's true, people DO do that, but it's actually pretty easy to sort them out Â by using tricks for anyone who tries to just get with your character (Trying to get into a relationship too fast, falling in love with your character in one meeting, pressuring you for erp, etc etc). As someone who is completely open to the idea of polyamory irl, I'm even concerned about the people who only use it in roleplay to get their rocks off, but it's like that with anything sexual and you just need to be wary of the red flags

would it be helpful, then, to discuss the red flags in the best interests of people who have a more real interest in rping polyamory? Big Grin

Faye · **12-24-2014, 04:24 PM**

(12-24-2014, 04:07 PM)Edvyn Wrote:
(12-24-2014, 04:06 PM)Faye Wrote: But to give an answer in vain: Does it really matter? If someone wants to ERP everyone and call it polyamory, more power to 'em. I don't see why it should really matter to anyone. Likely, the type of people to do that would practice polyamory IRL, even if closeted, if they could find the right partner. Regardless, why does it matter what someone would or wouldn't do IRL? I wouldn't do 75% of the things my characters do. If you would do all the same things your character would, you're not role-playing, you're inserting yourself into a fantasy universe.
i am bringing up an actual concern - namely that there are people who use polyamory as an excuse rather than a storytelling device

it doesn't matter what someone would/wouldn't do irl, I am questioning people's intent in rping "polyamory" as I have seen far too many cases in my years spent in other games/sites of creepy straight dudes playing lesbians that sleep with everyone and aggressively seek out people to erp with - even if those people don't want to erp with them. these dudes almost definitely wouldn't practice polyamory irl, some I've dealt with actively opposed it.

is it wrong to find an ethical problem in genuine sexualities/sexual practices being exploited by horny nerds looking for cheap imaginary sex?

Sort of? It's sleazy, for sure, and it's obviously not okay if they're trying to force/pressure/trick people into doing sexual things with them. But if everyone involved is a consenting adult OOC and anything scandalous is done in private, if they want to role-play sexual polyamory to try to get off IRL, good for them, I guess. It's not my cup of tea and I personally don't approve, but I won't fault them for it or try to police their RP.

I find people exploit a lot of actual RL relationship/sexual/gender issues in the name of sexual fetishes--most futas pretty much making a mockery of transgender people, for example. It's tasteless, but at the end of the day it's meant to be in the name of fun and fantasy. And if that's their idea of fun... well, at least they're enjoying themselves.

Mod note by FreelanceWizard: Removed some quoted text that I excised from the thread.

Pumpkinweed · **12-24-2014, 04:26 PM**

The things people do for coitus.Â Rolleyes

Edvyn · **12-24-2014, 04:27 PM**

(12-24-2014, 04:24 PM)Faye Wrote:
(12-24-2014, 04:07 PM)Edvyn Wrote:
(12-24-2014, 04:06 PM)Faye Wrote: But to give an answer in vain: Does it really matter? If someone wants to ERP everyone and call it polyamory, more power to 'em. I don't see why it should really matter to anyone. Likely, the type of people to do that would practice polyamory IRL, even if closeted, if they could find the right partner. Regardless, why does it matter what someone would or wouldn't do IRL? I wouldn't do 75% of the things my characters do. If you would do all the same things your character would, you're not role-playing, you're inserting yourself into a fantasy universe.

i am bringing up an actual concern - namely that there are people who use polyamory as an excuse rather than a storytelling device

it doesn't matter what someone would/wouldn't do irl, I am questioning people's intent in rping "polyamory" as I have seen far too many cases in my years spent in other games/sites of creepy straight dudes playing lesbians that sleep with everyone and aggressively seek out people to erp with - even if those people don't want to erp with them. these dudes almost definitely wouldn't practice polyamory irl, some I've dealt with actively opposed it.

is it wrong to find an ethical problem in genuine sexualities/sexual practices being exploited by horny nerds looking for cheap imaginary sex?

Sort of? It's sleazy, for sure, and it's obviously not okay if they're trying to force/pressure/trick people into doing sexual things with them. But if everyone involved is a consenting adult OOC and anything scandalous is done in private, if they want to role-play sexual polyamory to try to get off IRL, good for them, I guess. It's not my cup of tea and I personally don't approve, but I won't fault them for it or try to police their RP.

these people are trying to force/pressure/trick people into doing sexual things with them, and this is where the problem lies! I have personally dealt with people trying to guilt trip me - as in me the player, not just the character! - for not responding well to their hamfisted attempts to drag me into gross cybersex

(12-24-2014, 04:24 PM)Faye Wrote: I find people exploit a lot of actual RL relationship/sexual/gender issues in the name of sexual fetishes--most futas pretty much making a mockery of transgender people, for example. It's tasteless, but at the end of the day it's meant to be in the name of fun and fantasy. And if that's their idea of fun... well, at least they're enjoying themselves.

they're enjoying themselves, but they're being incredibly offensive to the groups of people they're exploiting in the name of sexual fetishes. this is not something to simply write off as harmless, as these practices can make people in a community feel unwelcome purely based on how their sexuality is portrayed.

QUICK NOTE: can you please stop modifying your posts after I've responded to them? It means I have to edit my responses in turn to address the extra points you conveniently forgot to bring up initially when you could just bring them up in your next post

Mod note by FreelanceWizard: Removed some quoted text that I excised from the thread.

Faye · **12-24-2014, 04:30 PM**

(12-24-2014, 04:27 PM)Edvyn Wrote:
(12-24-2014, 04:24 PM)Faye Wrote:
(12-24-2014, 04:07 PM)Edvyn Wrote:
(12-24-2014, 04:06 PM)Faye Wrote: But to give an answer in vain: Does it really matter? If someone wants to ERP everyone and call it polyamory, more power to 'em. I don't see why it should really matter to anyone. Likely, the type of people to do that would practice polyamory IRL, even if closeted, if they could find the right partner. Regardless, why does it matter what someone would or wouldn't do IRL? I wouldn't do 75% of the things my characters do. If you would do all the same things your character would, you're not role-playing, you're inserting yourself into a fantasy universe.
i am bringing up an actual concern - namely that there are people who use polyamory as an excuse rather than a storytelling device

it doesn't matter what someone would/wouldn't do irl, I am questioning people's intent in rping "polyamory" as I have seen far too many cases in my years spent in other games/sites of creepy straight dudes playing lesbians that sleep with everyone and aggressively seek out people to erp with - even if those people don't want to erp with them. these dudes almost definitely wouldn't practice polyamory irl, some I've dealt with actively opposed it.

is it wrong to find an ethical problem in genuine sexualities/sexual practices being exploited by horny nerds looking for cheap imaginary sex?

Sort of? It's sleazy, for sure, and it's obviously not okay if they're trying to force/pressure/trick people into doing sexual things with them. But if everyone involved is a consenting adult OOC and anything scandalous is done in private, if they want to role-play sexual polyamory to try to get off IRL, good for them, I guess. It's not my cup of tea and I personally don't approve, but I won't fault them for it or try to police their RP.
these people are trying to force/pressure/trick people into doing sexual things with them, and this is where the problem lies! I have personally dealt with people trying to guilt trip me - as in me the player, not just the character! - for not responding well to their hamfisted attempts to drag me into gross cybersex

Of course, and that's a problem and something that definitely should not be happening! I've dealt with it often, myself. However, not everyone after cybersex or ERP is manipulative, underhanded, or abusive about it, so it's not really fair to generalize like that.

Mod note by FreelanceWizard: Removed some quoted text that I excised from the thread.

ArmachiA · **12-24-2014, 04:32 PM**

It's definitely an issue. I think it would actually be a valid thing for Lili to put in her guide - concerns and such. People who only want to erp are everywhere in roleplay and if that isn't your goal it can be hard to know who is and who isn't.

Tiergan · **12-24-2014, 04:34 PM**

(12-24-2014, 04:27 PM)Edvyn Wrote: these people are trying to force/pressure/trick people into doing sexual things with them, and this is where the problem lies! I have personally dealt with people trying to guilt trip me - as in me the player, not just the character! - for not responding well to their hamfisted attempts to drag me into gross cybersex

I think if you encounter anyone who tries to guilt trip you as a player into anything you don't want to do - whether it be ERP or Poly related or not - that is the moment where you OOCly tell them you're no longer comfortable RPing with them and block them. People like that are not worth the trouble and they probably have other motives for pursing the RP that they are - not to mention the rampant IC/OOC mixing that will probably happen.

Val · **12-24-2014, 04:36 PM**

(12-24-2014, 04:34 PM)Tiergan Wrote:
(12-24-2014, 04:27 PM)Edvyn Wrote: these people are trying to force/pressure/trick people into doing sexual things with them, and this is where the problem lies! I have personally dealt with people trying to guilt trip me - as in me the player, not just the character! - for not responding well to their hamfisted attempts to drag me into gross cybersex

I think if you encounter anyone who tries to guilt trip you as a player into anything you don't want to do - whether it be ERP or Poly related or not - that is the moment where you OOCly tell them you're no longer comfortable RPing with them and block them. Â People like that are not worth the trouble and they probably have other motives for pursing the RP that they are - not to mention the rampant IC/OOC mixing that will probably happen.

I agree with this 100%. If at any point you or anyone else becomes uncomfortable with something, speak up and tell them. If they refuse to acknowledge or apologize for making you uncomfortable, or continue with it regardless, you are well within your rights to block them and never speak to them again. There are certainly some creeps around in the community--I've seen and heard tales about them. Throwing them on the blacklist is the quickest way to rid yourself of them.

Edvyn · **12-24-2014, 04:39 PM**

(12-24-2014, 04:32 PM)ArmachiA Wrote: It's definitely an issue. I think it would actually be a valid thing for Lili to put in her guide - concerns and such. People who only want to erp are everywhere in roleplay and if that isn't your goal it can be hard to know who is and who isn't.

yes! this is a good idea! it would alleviate my concerns greatly Thumbsup

Jana · **12-24-2014, 04:46 PM**

I've never played a polyamorous character (despite what others may think), but it's always made sense to me that Miqo'te would find it fairly normal. Even before the most recent Moogle Mail missions kinda confirmed it, I figured Keeper males being scarce would encourage them to move from matron group to matron group without really settling down. It's how I figured Jana's parenting would have been done as well.

Zyrusticae · **12-24-2014, 04:53 PM**

(12-24-2014, 10:11 AM)Lilithium Wrote:
Just because you canoodle the doodle or poodle of other people on a regular basis and have some pieces of buttcandy on speed dial on the linkpearl doesn't make one polyamorous. To quote from wikipedia:

Quote:...the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It is distinct from swinging (which emphasizes sex with others as merely recreational)...

So chances are the character is likely just a 'swinger' if sex is the main focus.

Quoting this because people seem to keep missing it.

V'aleera · **12-24-2014, 05:34 PM**

On the subject of traditional Seeker mating practices, I don't think the Nunhs (because remember, many tribes have more than one) really keep a harem. I've always thought that the relationship the Nunh has with the women he mates is more businesslike (like someone else mentioned). Basically, if a Seeker woman decides she wants to have children then she makes an appointment, gets an injection, and that's that.

Zetchryn · **12-24-2014, 06:01 PM**

(12-24-2014, 05:34 PM)Intaki Wrote: On the subject of traditional Seeker mating practices, I don't think the Nunhs (because remember, many tribes have more than one) really keep a harem. I've always thought that the relationship the Nunh has with the women he mates is more businesslike (like someone else mentioned). Basically, if a Seeker woman decides she wants to have children then she makes an appointment, gets an injection, and that's that.

... I just imagined a turkey baster. I'm sorry. I'm dying now.

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Discussion of "Polyamory: A Roleplaying Guide"

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes