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Cato · **03-27-2015, 02:25 PM**

(03-27-2015, 02:20 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 02:18 PM)Graeham Ridgefield Wrote: I never struggled to do that back in WoW yet in FFXIV's community it proves to be largely ineffective.

off-topic:
Can I bring up a pet peeve? Why do people keep comparing FFXIV to WoW, or any other RPable game for that matter? It's a different community, made of [potentially] different people. Shouldn't it be expected it's going to have a different feel to it?

Obviously it's going to be a culture shock to some and I've admitted as much in the past. At the end of the day, though, both are not starved for role-players and so it's pretty easy to make the comparison.

WoW didn't start out perfect either - people had to acknowledge and address flaws to help cultivate the 'right' culture for encouraging and forging pleasant interaction.

It's why threads like this are so important: it allows for a platform for concerns to be raised and issues to be addressed.

Domri Blackblade · **03-27-2015, 02:25 PM**

Sometimes promises fall through. It's not always something that can be helped, nor does that mean it's automatically bad. I've been here for a month, I made a thread, and as an example: Berrod and I said in the thread we would follow up on a connection and it kind of fell through. I missed him when he was online and then I never got to following through. But I don't hold contempt for Berrod. I don't think that it fell through it was somehow bad. I still greatly respect him and his RP and hope one day that connection get made, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.

Look at it this way. One of the biggest hurdles for people is shyness. I suffer from pretty bad social anxiety out in that expensive, slow grind MMO called IRL. I know what the hesitation is and where it comes from. But what's the worst that could happen? A 'not right now'? Everyone whom I have approached in this game has been nothing short of gracious. If they don't have time, every single one has said 'but XxxxxxX time works better for me if that's ok.'

I've approached in rp hotspots, forums, outright PMs. Not once has anyone ignored me or flat out rejected me. And I can't wear the label of a popular because I've been here three and a half weeks. I haven't even begun to reappraoch people I knew on my previous character, but they are there.

If you see someone you want to RP with and hooks aren't being bitten, then just bite the bullet and PM them. The anxiety sucks, but people here aren't really malicious and will most likely be nothing but open minded with you. I don't really know how much further to offer advice if people aren't willing to combat their shyness just yet.

Anti-social character? Keep throwing out idle hooks. Someone will eventually bite. Hell, if I'm there I guarantee I will bite. It can get discouraging when it doesn't happen right away, but just keep trying.

Approach people in the most random of places! Brynhilde and I met when she approached me on the streets of Gridania. I was literally half tabbed out but I saw the emote and I just rolled with it. Someone may be like me and just hop IC right then and there. If it works, it works. Great! If it doesn't, it doesn't. The worst that could happen is someone isn't IC at the moment and you can probably make a friend right there anyway trying to plan a better time to RP.

I could ramble for ages on different methods, but the base is always gonna be the same and that's take the risk and dive in.

Berrod Armstrong · **03-27-2015, 02:27 PM**

(03-27-2015, 02:19 PM)Melkire Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 02:16 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote: We're here to play a game. Maybe socialize. But we're not therapists. We're also not mind-readers.

Quoting this for emphasis, because I think it's really, really important.

Communication, as always, is key.

I actually am a therapist. Shit. Though I agree that communication is key!

Edit: Domri! I shall hunt you down when my internets are stable again! I saw you at the Grindstone on Saturday-- if I'm overseeing again this week I'll have Racist Cactpot Granny Berrod come voice APPROVAL OF THE BLOOD. Or something!

Melkire · **03-27-2015, 02:29 PM**

(03-27-2015, 02:18 PM)Graeham Ridgefield Wrote: It's not really my intention to guilt trip people. Apologies if it seems that way - I usually wouldn't resort to such a low blow but I couldn't figure out how else to raise the point after repeatedly biting my tongue. Obviously I'm not going to name and shame since that's against the rules but...it's just food for thought and people are welcome to do with that what they will - whether it's ignoring it, contesting it or working to remedy it.

And I get that, that's why I felt the need to point it out, because it could be read that way. Been in too many discussions that have gone to hell because someone took something on a personal level.

(03-27-2015, 02:18 PM)Graeham Ridgefield Wrote: As for people being busy and only human, that's totally understandable. It's not an attack: I'm just raising awareness that it can be pretty disheartening when someone ends up caught in a net and unable to 'break in' to a fresh social circle to expand their list of IC and OOC contacts.

I know the feeling. I also know that the biggest obstacle is common times and locales. We don't just have conflicting IRL schedules and personalities to contend with, there's also our in-character schedules and personalities that can get in the way of two or more characters meeting and their respective circle of contacts expanding.

It's like multiplying two decimal values. 0.1 x 0.1 = 0.01, after all. And that's really, really lame, but that's how it is.

(03-27-2015, 02:18 PM)Graeham Ridgefield Wrote: In regards to the FC I'm in now I simply made an application and sank my teeth into role-play the moment the opportunity became available. Again, I'm not really starved for role-play due to my FC but expanding beyond it has been where issues have arisen.Â

As for where I've tried to get stuff up and running? Pretty much everywhere, really - Ul'dah has been a major target but so has various areas throughout La Noscea. The latter interests me more than the former simply because my character concept gives more weight to him being there than lingering in Ul'dah.

I'd agree with you: La Noscea has a lot of appeal to it. My character's background and story took him to Ul'dah even before I knew where most of the roleplayers were to be found, otherwise I might've chosen to make more of an effort in grounding myself in, say, Limsa, for example. Now my character is definitely rooted in Thanalan, and opportunities to break him away from there, while refreshing and I do jump on each and every chance that makes sense from an IC perspective, are rare.

(03-27-2015, 02:18 PM)Graeham Ridgefield Wrote: I generally avoid major events because I'm more of a fan of character driven interaction on a much smaller scale. I'm eager to cross paths with people's characters at random and then head off out on an adventure. I never struggled to do that back in WoW yet in FFXIV's community it proves to be largely ineffective.

Disclaimer, never played WoW, but I think this phenomenon in FFXIV largely owes itself to the "Quicksand is the hotspot for RP!" and "Sign up for an event if you need to break out!" mentality which discourages a more personal, one-on-one approach of random encounters. That, and a LOT of new people I see here on RPC list themselves or their characters as really shy and introverted, which makes losing themselves in a noisy crowd a lot more appealing than walking up to someone on the street at random and going, "Hey, will you walk with me for a bit? I'd like to ask you about _____" as a hook.

(03-27-2015, 02:22 PM)Apl_Juice Wrote: Let's also acknowledge that no one is guaranteed anything.

This, too, is very important. Even if someone takes your hook, or you take theirs, there's no guarantee it'll turn into anything long-lasting or meaningful.

Cato · **03-27-2015, 02:34 PM**

In regards to Ul'dah, I do intend to give that place another go if only because it seems like something major is about to go down there during the next set of MSQ's and being in the city when that happens seems like a pretty good plot hook for the sort of delicious intrigue I enjoy indulging in.

So for what it's worth I'll definitely be looking out for familiar and unfamiliar faces. Not necessarily in the Quicksand though.

Verad · **03-27-2015, 02:35 PM**

(03-27-2015, 02:29 PM)Melkire Wrote: Disclaimer, never played WoW, but I think this phenomenon in FFXIV largely owes itself to the "Quicksand is the hotspot for RP!" and "Sign up for an event if you need to break out!" mentality which discourages a more personal, one-on-one approach of random encounters. That, and a LOT of new people I see here on RPC list themselves or their characters as really shy and introverted, which makes losing themselves in a noisy crowd a lot more appealing than walking up to someone on the street at random and going, "Hey, will you walk with me for a bit? I'd like to ask you about _____" as a hook.

Taverns in WoW were generally the oppositeÂ of a hotspot. Goldshire's reputation is well-known, but other, smaller places like Silvermoon's Wayfarer's Inn and Stormwind's Blue Parrot also had reputations as loci of bad RP. People avoided them in favor of one-on-one interactions.

The reversal has been interesting, but, for me at least, pretty rewarding.

Melkire · **03-27-2015, 03:05 PM**

(03-27-2015, 12:50 PM)Ilweran Wrote: I am unsure if this will help but I think that there are several things you can do to prepare yourself and to help for making some connections. This will probably be a confused message as I won't set an order in all those "ideas" but here we go :

Precise you're a RPer in your profile in game, and give the link of your wiki using a tiny URL :
Right, this one seems quite logical, though it's not always the case. When I meet someone new, the first thing I do while I talk to them (generally they are the ones reaching out, thank you guys for that, I'm still extra shy here) is to check their RP profile if they have one. It's really important, I think, to spend some time to write your wiki and to make sure that you have the link of it on your signature, in game, on your tumblr, etc.

Focus on the rumors part when you write your wiki :
If someone want to hook with you in character, they will need a reason and the easiest way is to give them some informations about your character, either with rumors either by writing some "your character might notice this about my character" informations. Give to the other one in front of you some opportunity to reach out using what they might know about your character .

Walk :
99% of the people walking in town are RPer. If you walk, before even anybody talk to you or check your profile, you're announcing to them that you're a RPer AND that you are IC, so potentially available for RP.

Join some LS / FC :
I have to do a HUGE disclaimer here as I found out after some time that a part of the people joining a "finding connection" LS are expecting the others to reach out to them and they will find themselves rping with some knew people within an hour. It clearly doesn't work this way. So here is some "how to use a making connection LS" FAQ.
- Discuss with people: Don't hesitate, I find myself easier to know the people OOC when I'm going to RP with them and so meeting them in a relaxed way helps a lot.
- Ask some RP questions if you have some : You will both have some answers and also be able to note some different style of RP (not every RPer are compatible), and you will gather some informations about the character(s) of that RPer (can help to find some hooks).
- If you click with someone, pm them to see if some RP would be possible.
- Keep in mind that everybody lives in different time zone / have different activities aside / might not be in the mood right now for discussing or RPing.
There you go, you are now properly using some "making connection" LS.

Write some IC letters :
That is a thing I do when I want to reach out to some people or when I'm trying to not lose contact with them. I write an IC letter, giving some informations about my character situation and I try to include some hooks so the people would think "Hey this is how my character can answer and what they can do !". IC letters are a good way to keep contact while your own character is not available for a reason or another (Hello Ilwe who spent 1 1/2 month secluded in his house) and it will even give to those who will receive it the possibility to know where your character is right now if they ever want to see him.

Show Content

Here is an example of letter I wrote this past week. Yes it's Ilwe's handwriting AND the paper he's using.

Have your character seeking for some help :
I'm RPing since over 15 years and I found extraordinary common to meet some character who will never ask for some help unless X is dying, seclude themselves, refuse to be among the others etc. Obviously this will not help you to find some connection : if your character want to be alone, alone he will be and I know really really few people courageous enough to spend some time to try several time to reach out when they will only find some rejection. Keep in mind that there are a lot of RPer around and you have to give your character enough attractive traits so people will want to meet them.
This doesn't mean that you cannot RP someone who is the calm sort, doesn't like tavern and all and Ilwe is the perfect example to prove this. BUT ! You cannot give to your character every single traits that will repel away people. You have to choose. And for Ilwe, even though he's the sort of not liking crowds and such things, he asks for some help and reaches out when necessary and this is how I manage to have some connection.
What if you don't know anybody who might be able to help on this topic ? This is at this precise moment that the "making connection" LS and forum are useful : Make a topic there, ask for some precise person for a precise plot. Here you go, it's easier to reach out this way when you have a reason / a goal than only having an introduction of your character. And if you can't find ? Run in a crowded place (AKA QS) and shout for some help, have your character crying, ATTRACT THE ATTENTION.

RP relationship are like flowers :
Keep in mind that it's not because you met someone once that this person will remember you IC or OOC in 3 weeks. Exactly like for IRL you have to nurture your connections in a way or another (IC letters are my way, I'm sure that some other people could give some other tips for that). If you don't do it, like a flower, the relationship you had with them will whiter.
And with reason !!! Keep in mind that your character has his plots and life, and it's the same for this other character you met 3 weeks ago : Their life might have change, things happened and your character has no idea about this. If you want to keep in touch with someone. Do it, in a way or another. Just don't pretend that because you met this RPer during 30mn a few weeks ago, your characters are now best buddy forever, it doesn't work this way.

Communicate :
Well, I think I'll finish like this : Try to communicate OOC with the people you like. I know, I'm now Captain Obvious, but it doesn't hurt to remind to people that communication is necessary. Don't hesitate to say when you want to RP with your friends. Don't hesitate to tell them when you don't want. Remember about time zones and so make the RP happen by giving your schedule to people, even several times, as they won't remember it.
Be available and be visible. Really. That's what you need to be seen and to see the others.

Quoting this because I, for one, completely missed this post earlier in the thread and I think it deserves a good (possibly second) look.

g0ne · **03-27-2015, 03:42 PM**

This is a good one.Â

I know newbie RPers are shy, I was at that stage not so long ago. I still think I'm shy, but instead of shyness, I suppose it's more of being intimidated.Â

See, when I joined up here on the RPC, the things that crossed my mind were that everyone here is so good and so well known, how would someone unknown and little like me possibly get mixed up with the big guns.Â The other thing is that newbies aren't that well known and well, they're still developing their skills, which creates more of a barrier.

Furthermore, I don't know why... but I get the feeling that when you know someone and have RPed with them frequently you choose to RP with them over 'that other person'. I don't know why this happens, but let's all admit it that this feeling does exist somewhere in our minds.Â

And I know my time zone is really mismatched, and I'm only around on weekends when I'm free, but I sincerely and honestly say that I will RP with anyone and everyone (of course, sane RPers, not random hi let's bang ERPers because I'm bored and I have nothing else to do), and even if I don't know you, that shouldn't become a barrier, so feel free to poke me. In fact, do it!! Do it, I say!!

Edit: I don't know what's wrong with the font!

Mod note by FreelanceWizard: Fixed that font for you. Smile

**Unnamed Mercenary** · **03-27-2015, 04:06 PM**

(03-27-2015, 03:42 PM)Eleni Wrote: This is a good one.Â

I know newbie RPers are shy, I was at that stage not so long ago. I still think I'm shy, but instead of shyness, I suppose it's more of being intimidated.Â

See, when I joined up here on the RPC, the things that crossed my mind were that everyone here is so good and so well known, how would someone unknown and little like me possibly get mixed up with the big guns.Â The other thing is that newbies aren't that well known and well, they're still developing their skills, which creates more of a barrier.

Furthermore, I don't know why... but I get the feeling that when you know someone and have RPed with them frequently you choose to RP with them over 'that other person'. I don't know why this happens, but let's all admit it that this feeling does exist somewhere in our minds.Â

And I know my time zone is really mismatched, and I'm only around on weekends when I'm free, but I sincerely and honestly say that I will RP with anyone and everyone (of course, sane RPers, not random hi let's bang ERPers because I'm bored and I have nothing else to do), and even if I don't know you, that shouldn't become a barrier, so feel free to poke me. In fact, do it!! Do it, I say!!

Edit: I don't know what's wrong with the font!

Mod note by FreelanceWizard: Fixed that font for you.

Fact: Eleni is a joy to RP with.Â

Response: It's true. Like any social group, people are gonna lean towards connections they have more often than try to make new connections. We like being comfortable in our known circles.Â And there's nothing really wrong with that. When taken to an extreme, it can become a "clique", but more often than not, I see other people ascribing "clique" onto a group than that group actually being closed-off. And once that mentality is set, it stops mattering because judgments get made without actual evidence. This isn't Mean Girls. People don't need to act a certain way or wear some special themed clothes. Treat people with respect and they'll come back for more if the like what they see.Â

Domri Blackblade · **03-27-2015, 04:24 PM**

(03-27-2015, 04:06 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote: This isn't Mean Girls.

YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!

[Image: 5h-gretchen-wieners-1423872856.gif]

**Unnamed Mercenary** · **03-27-2015, 04:28 PM**

(03-27-2015, 04:24 PM)Domri Blackblade Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 04:06 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote: This isn't Mean Girls.

YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!

[Image: 105169-Lindsay-Lohan-breaks-tiara-gif-ICDr.gif]

EVERYONE gets RP. *throws it in little pieces*

Domri Blackblade · **03-27-2015, 04:30 PM**

(03-27-2015, 04:28 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:

EVERYONE gets RP. *throws it in little pieces*

Aris · **03-27-2015, 04:37 PM**

(03-27-2015, 04:30 PM)Domri Blackblade Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 04:28 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:

EVERYONE gets RP. *throws it in little pieces*

[Image: tumblr_nfq1g1T8OG1trkfzio1_500.gif]

Edit: Oops. Ignore this, the below post is much more encouraging. Tongue

Ette · **03-27-2015, 04:37 PM**

(03-27-2015, 04:30 PM)Domri Blackblade Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 04:28 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:

EVERYONE gets RP. *throws it in little pieces*

[Image: tumblr_mumrityIwQ1r6ubhwo1_500.gif]

**Unnamed Mercenary** · **03-27-2015, 04:42 PM**

(03-27-2015, 04:37 PM)Ette Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 04:30 PM)Domri Blackblade Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 04:28 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote: [gif]
[another gif]
[and another gif]

And this is why I love everyone here.Â

--

Honestly. There's no difference between "popular" and not. Just be put yourselfÂ (the general 'you' here) out there and find those people who make the experience for you.

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