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Faye · **03-27-2015, 07:55 PM**

Maybe it's not the best habit of mine--I have a hard time saying no and a hard time breaking character as well--but I usually keep the RP going until I'm forced to end it for OOC reasons, even if I predict beforehand it's going to end that way. I'd like to hope I don't usually waste anyone's time with this, though, as I try to keep it all as true to IC as I can. If someone wants ERP and I don't, my character will turn them down, or if for whatever reason my character refusing sex is not IC, I will go along with it but ask to fade to black. I don't really feel bad about it because, well, no one should be dead set on ERP they were never promised.

But if someone becomes abusive or all around weird OOC, I have no problems ending or retconning an RP with no hesitation.

Gone. · **03-27-2015, 09:02 PM**

Some decent advice spread throughout here with a lot of bad that creates more hostility than it actually solves anything.

Communication. That is the most important thing when it comes to roleplay. I can't say it enough. If something is bothering you, just pull said person to the side, bring it up, and talk it through like a mature adult. I'd be willing to bet that most people are not trying to make you feel uncomfortable OOCly, and are likely to reel things back on their end if you just take the time to say something.

Now if they're legitimately being a creep after that, then yes, do whatever it takes within reason, but other than that? It's all that needs to be done, and for the record, no, I don't always do this given how extreme my social anxiety can get at times.

Still, it's worth making an attempt at for the sake of everyone involved. Take it from someone that's been on the other end; it's terribly upsetting to be skewered with a great deal of defamation based on nothing more than mere IC musings when a simple chat would have been all it took to straighten the situation out. Game ruining, even.

Flickering Ember · **03-27-2015, 09:15 PM**

As others have mentioned, it's better to let your immersion be shattered than be forced into a situation that you regret and brings you down. OOC communication is a good fall back however, I really do think you can have your cake and eat it too--that is find a way to bail without breaking character.

I think it is good to consider that our characters don't exist on a single strand for a timeline. There isn't only one way your character can possibly react to a situation. Life is filled with many possibilities and our characters can be complex individuals-people.
"My character wouldn't do that" becomes a dangerous phrase if it restricts your OOC interests in how you want to pursue your character.

Sometimes our characters get involved in things they normally wouldn't do and that's okay. People aren't going to act in a 100% predictable manner all the time. Our state of minds can justify acting differently in a variety of situations while still remaining true to ourselves.

Tiergan's linkshell idea is fantastic. Even in every day RP I see a lot of people use "I have business attend to" as a common way to eject themselves from the RP. It can be used for a variety of things. Maybe you want to go do a dungeon or maybe you're not feeling well OOC. In that particular example you posted, the RPer was giving hints as to his intention--ERP. You can also do this same by emphasizing her naivete in emotes or by having her invite friends along during "magical romance ERP time."

"Oooooh! We get to ride on a chocobo! I want to see if my friends want to come along too!"

You could also let the RP advance forward a little bit in that case. Perhaps she becomes more interested in the chocobo than continuing a conversation. Or perhaps she turns the conversation all about his chocobo. (People do this irl all the time with their adorable babies and adorable pets) Perhaps your character is tired and she just needs to leave.

What I am ultimately getting at is you can bail without breaking character. There are so many reasons why you could leave or just turn the RP into something else entirely. You could even do this in tandem with OOC saying "I'm not interested in ERP" or "I don't want to go in this direction with the RP."

General advice though: Random RP tells are usually a sign that the other RPer wants to initiate ERP. Right off the bat find out their intentions or insist on using /say.

Caspar · **03-28-2015, 05:13 AM**

My usual excuse is "I have to go train."
The nice thing about playing a character like Virara is that I can have her misunderstand or take them literally untill she rivals a neutron star in density.

***Maril*** · **03-28-2015, 06:10 AM**

When it comes to random people, I think walking away is one of the most powerful tools. Most situations can be excused, and for what it's worth I tend to try and make it look like I'm not leaving for any other reasons than having to be somewhere else. I usually apply that so any minor situation, if someone is being a nudge too creepy or so. And by creepy I don't mean IC-creepy, but in a sort of bleedy way. This may also happen if the person is breaking the lore (and telling my character) in a way that my character can't possibly acknowledge because doing so would take my character away from the understanding of the lore that I am comfortable with. In situations where I don't leave, it's usually because I've contacted the player and asked if I can pretend they didn't hear that or similar, explaining how I am about the lore. In 9/10 cases I get positive responses to that, I quite like it when people can work together to overcome their differences.Â

When it comes to more serious problems, like metagaming and power-emoting and suchlike, my strategy is still to withdraw from the situation - but I would always be communicating with the other side to try and resolve the problems. Especially when it's powergaming it can feel a bit abrupt to just leave. I don't tend to leave instantly either, but when I am sufficiently convinced it's not just a slip-up I will. If the other side becomes agitated by my inquiry then it'll most likely end in a walk away & retcon of the nights events with that person if they do not calm down. I find that once you question certain things, some people get angry ry the way instead of seeing it as a simple request for elaboration on the characters actions.Â

It's extremely rare that I would let a situation I'm not comfortable with persist to be uncomfortable and just go unresolved. Fortunately I meet mostly level headed and cool-minded people in this game Smile

Flashhelix · **03-28-2015, 06:19 AM**

I'd say one could have their cake and eat it too, that is, avoid having to avoid horrible vile RP and also not have to break character is to have your character reasonably be able to is to have them object to the same things you find it unacceptable to RP. Now, this isn't to say you should project all your OOC beliefs on to your character as this bad RP, but I don't think you're sacrificing any creative integrity by saying "Y'know, I'm not a horrible creep that wants to RP my character raping somebody, so I'll have them think rape is bad." Or something along those lines.

mongi291 · **03-28-2015, 08:19 AM**

I was thinking about a macro for this situations. Not sure if it can work, I never use macro usually.

/tell <t> [Go back to masturbating, you pervert.]
/.slap <t>
/mk ignore1 <t>
/return

Nebbs · **03-28-2015, 08:21 AM**

(03-28-2015, 08:19 AM)mongi291 Wrote: I was thinking about a macro for this situations. Not sure if it can work, I never use macro usually.

/tell <t> [Go back to masturbating, you pervert.]
/.slap <t>
/mk ignore1 <t>
/return

Just imagine the apologies when you miss target that macro lol.

Seriously, don't tickle their egos with attention.

cuideag · **03-28-2015, 09:34 AM**

I walk.

No one owes anyone their time especially if they are being made uncomfortable by what's happening with it. You aren't obligated to interact with everyone. If someone is being skeevy, I'll ask them to chill and if they aren't agreeable, well, no skin off my back if I don't have to deal with them again. Same for folks who repeatedly meta, godmode, and most of all blend. Thanks but no thanks! Good luck and adios.

Renata Lynn · **03-28-2015, 09:44 AM**

(03-28-2015, 06:19 AM)Flashhelix Wrote: I'd say one could have their cake and eat it too, that is, avoid having to avoid horrible vile RP and also not have to break character is to have your character reasonably be able to is to have them object to the same things you find it unacceptable to RP. Now, this isn't to say you should project all your OOC beliefs on to your character as this bad RP, but I don't think you're sacrificing any creative integrity by saying "Y'know, I'm not a horrible creep that wants to RP my character raping somebody, so I'll have them think rape is bad." Or something along those lines.

Very true. Off-topic for a moment, I was dying OOCly when Gwannes told Eorla not to trust the Roe she was chatting with, "Because he has a feather on his head. He probably stole it."

DYING. The Roe is rped by an RL friend and he thought it was hilarious as well.

Qhora Bajihri · **03-28-2015, 10:03 AM**

I tend to go with the flow, unless I have an OOC reason to break character, like needing to leave the keyboard or being busy in-game. But my characters aren't generally willing to do things that I as a player am not (er, in the IC sense, my characters do all sorts of things I would never do IRL). That helps.

I've only had a couple of skeezy approaches and being the horrible person Qhora is, they all left disgusted and angry, probably OOC as well because kind of person blah blah blah. Oops. Sorry not sorry.

But if I were playing a more acquiescent character, they'd have lines of their own that they'd draw. They might initially agree to go for a chocobo ride with a stranger, then balk when the person touched them, or suggested they go somewhere no longer in a public space, or got flirty.

Now if I got metagamed or godmoded, so that my perfectly sweet character apparently couldn't run away upon sudden realization of bad touch, that's when I usually fight fire with fire and as much power as they think they have over me, I'd just take back from them. Actually, she greased herself in butter before going for the chocobo ride and has now disappeared over the horizon.

But most reasonable players are willing to let a character react, I think. They might dislike it, but I have a hard time picturing them trying to nail your character's feet to the floor. If your character would freeze and let someone do anything they want to them, that should be something you as a player are prepared for (through playing it out or OOC arranged fade to black or whatever). Otherwise, have the character bow out respectfully IC or request a delay or some space IC or run away screaming IC or some other contingency plan that's appropriate for both character and player. The 'conveniently timed interruption by a friend' is a contingency plan I used relatively frequently back when I played more vulnerable characters.

Rosamund · **03-28-2015, 10:19 AM**

[Image: tumblr_inline_nltsoljY3Y1rkf4dx.gif]

But seriously, that's the best advice given so far. I won't force myself to stay involved in RP that makes me extremely uncomfortable just to preserve the IC/OOC boundary. Inarah will suddenly remember a pressing matter of business and walk away. If the other party starts getting weird OOC as well then I won't respond and hope they take the hint. If not, well, blacklists are helpful... Luckily it hasn't escalated to that point for me but it's always an option.

Askier · **03-28-2015, 10:34 AM**

One Hooray IT Crowd reference above! Lol.

Two

As most people have said, just walk. You don't owe a stranger a thing, especially your time. So they wana do the creep, you can z-snap strut your way otta of there. Ic, OOC, no one will care except the person making you uncomfortable but its your character so tough. Â No one can do anything to your character you don't want.

Though from personal experience there are some.people who will nag you so hard and so incesantly you'll stop logging in for awhile. Â Just have to stick to your guns and keep your ground. Eventually they either get the hint or you ignore them.

Makyn Loneseeker · **03-28-2015, 10:40 AM**

I generally RP out anything, good or bad. If I feel uncomfortable with an RP situation, I just remember that i'm not actually the one facing it.

Mak's pretty naive, though, but when it'd turn something like that, he's built in a way where he'd literally pick up his stuff and walk away from the person.

Renata Lynn · **03-28-2015, 11:42 AM**

(03-28-2015, 10:40 AM)Makyn Wrote: I generally RP out anything, good or bad. If I feel uncomfortable with an RP situation, I just remember that i'm not actually the one facing it.

Mak's pretty naive, though, but when it'd turn something like that, he's built in a way where he'd literally pick up his stuff and walk away from the person.

I can appreciate that, in the spirit of RP. I don't necessarily want my chars to have peaches and cream and rainbow-crapping unicorns, because Eorzea (and life in general) is tough. There are bound to be bad things that happen.Â

Eorla got a huge Roe fist to her jaw when she witnessed him yelling at a Mi'qote girl, calling her a whore. They were at the table next to hers, so I reached out OOCly to both the Roe and the Mi'qote, explained that my character would normally say something in a case like this, and I wanted to make sure that was okay with them before she did. They both responded warmly, and the RPer of the Roe said "My char will probably try to punch yours in the face, because he's a jerk. If you're okay with that, you're more than welcome to jump in!" And I am okay with that, because that kind of stuff can happen, and is a risk when you stand up for people who you feel are being wronged. I also knew that Eorla, being completely useless in physical combat, would not be able to dodge it. And she didn't. And I was OOCly okay with that. The Mi'qote healed most of the damage (after Eorla came to, lol), and whispered her thanks to Eorla for sticking up for her.Â

But OOCly, in the case I stated in my OP, I know that my character is not comfortable saying no to people, and I didn't want to put her in the position where saying no would be even more awkward, both IC and OOCly. And in hindsight, in reading a lot of input and advice, I groaned out loud because there were so many things I could have done and didn't even think of. I'm thankful that the person I was chatting OOCly with came up with a solution for it. It was kind of like the RP version of the girl code.

[Image: 10308132_705767152874500_303589473850068...d6skyk.jpg]

[Image: 10308132_705767152874500_303589473850068...d6skyk.jpg]

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How do you handle RP when it takes a bad direction?

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes