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AquiziTC · **06-23-2015, 09:39 PM**

Woah now, let's not get too hostile. It was just disagreement of an opinion.

Alderique · **06-23-2015, 09:41 PM**

Everyone's gonna have their own take on it. It's not worth debating. Diversifying is definitely important, and participating with all sorts of individuals and groups, rather than leaning only on. It is very easy for any group to become a little clique that you confine yourself to, but it doesn't have to be that way.

That being said, I'm happy to hear of anyone's experiences having played in games: if you've encountered any negative situations, and how you and others have handled it, or if you've encountered any positive situations just by chance.

Alderique · **06-23-2015, 09:44 PM**

(06-23-2015, 09:38 PM)Tseren Wrote: [quote pid=194109 dateline=1435107153]
Many LGBT people donâ€™t have access to other LGBT people, community centers or support networks. Many places in the world are neither friendly nor safe for LGBT people - developed first world countries included. I've met a lot of people through other games who are that exact situation. Also, in my experiences, video games and online communities are often one the first place many trans* individuals start to explore their identity. I've had the opportunity to connect with and share my experience to those who are desperately seeking a safe place to do the same.

I'm not expecting such a Linkshell to be so heavy all the time. I'm hoping to use it to set up connections and plots with other LGBT characters. I think there's a lot of potential for fun in doing so.

[/quote]

Sorry to post so frequently after my last, but I hadn't seen this reply.

This is a great point that I think about at times. I've met several people online who lived in places where other queer folk were uncommon. They didn't have anyone to talk to and very little experience. For some its nice to have a space where you can talk to others who may have been in your situation, or just to hear different perspectives.

Everyone's going to want something different out of it.

***Maril*** · **06-23-2015, 09:54 PM**

I have heard in the past that beyond being the unofficial rp server, balmung was also selected as the unofficial LGBT server.. But from which community that came I do not know. There has been, might still be, LGBT linkshells - I was in a non-rp one, but eventually left it because it filled up with too much drama. So chiming in with saying you might find many likeminded people, and you definitely do not have to post a craigslist add - ICly all of my characters know a host of non-straight people, and I've never met any of them out of OOC desire to find them specifically. They just popped up on their own ^^

Klynzahr · **06-23-2015, 10:03 PM**

So I decided to try counting and after adding Natalie's Tia (who I didn't actually know was gay)..... I am pretty certain that I have met more homosexual characters than straight ones. This was entirely unintentional but far from unwelcome.
Laugh

While I can see the OOC value behind having a specific linkshell, I doubt that you will need one to locate similar characters. There are many already integrated into the community.

So welcome! Variety is the spice of life!

Tseren · **06-23-2015, 10:44 PM**

(06-23-2015, 10:03 PM)Klinzahr Wrote: So I decided to try counting and after adding Natalie's Tia (who I didn't actually know was gay)..... I am pretty certain that I have met more homosexual characters than straight ones. This was entirely unintentional but far from unwelcome.

While I can see the OOC value behind having a specific linkshell, I doubt that you will need one to locate similar characters. There are many already integrated into the community.

So welcome! Variety is the spice of life!

While I've found it easy to locate LGBT characters, I've found it difficult to find ones who weren't primarily focused on romantic or sexytime plots. But that's kind of the curse of cold calling people you haven't interacted with solely based on their search tags.

K'hatos · **06-23-2015, 11:01 PM**

(06-23-2015, 10:44 PM)Tseren Wrote:
(06-23-2015, 10:03 PM)Klinzahr Wrote: So I decided to try counting and after adding Natalie's Tia (who I didn't actually know was gay)..... I am pretty certain that I have met more homosexual characters than straight ones. This was entirely unintentional but far from unwelcome.

While I can see the OOC value behind having a specific linkshell, I doubt that you will need one to locate similar characters. There are many already integrated into the community.

So welcome! Variety is the spice of life!

While I've found it easy to locate LGBT characters, I've found it difficult to find ones who weren't primarily focused on romantic or sexytime plots. But that's kind of the curse of cold calling people you haven't interacted with solely based on their search tags.

That's the tricky part of being part of a minority group.Â If you want people to know, you need to advertise.Â But if you advertise, then people think that's your focus.Â It's a tight rope to walk.

Gone. · **06-24-2015, 12:50 AM**

(06-23-2015, 10:44 PM)Tseren Wrote: While I've found it easy to locate LGBT characters, I've found it difficult to find ones who weren't primarily focused on romantic or sexytime plots. But that's kind of the curse of cold calling people you haven't interacted with solely based on their search tags.

Well what do you expect? The LGB parts of LGBT are focused on sexual attraction. It's only natural that it ends up a focus for these characters.

Arter Wood · **06-24-2015, 12:55 AM**

(06-23-2015, 03:02 PM)Aaron Wrote: Though im not one of them, there's plenty LBGT people on Balmung, Â there's even a FC called Yuri dedicated only to lesbian (If that's what you are).

But ask around, Â everyone is friendly about it lol

Oh good lord, my sister has fun with those people. They go to Ishgard or some salty place like Mor Dhona and say they're recruiting non-binary genders. Always causes a mess in shout chat.

I've honestly never seen any FC that doesn't like the LGBT community. This is totally a good thing - to put aside pride parades and all that and just to recruit things without any mention of some special organization, which imo is what the "LGBT community" sounds like. Why do I want this to happen? Because I want this to look as equal as they can.

Cato · **06-24-2015, 01:03 AM**

(06-24-2015, 12:50 AM)hauntmedoitagain Wrote:
(06-23-2015, 10:44 PM)Tseren Wrote: While I've found it easy to locate LGBT characters, I've found it difficult to find ones who weren't primarily focused on romantic or sexytime plots. But that's kind of the curse of cold calling people you haven't interacted with solely based on their search tags.

Well what do you expect? The LGB parts of LGBT are focused on sexual attraction. It's only natural that it ends up a focus for these characters.

That doesn't make it any less frustrating though - especially when those characters end up being portrayed as walking stereotypes. A character shouldn't be defined by their sexuality as far as I'm concerned - it should just be something that they happen to have alongside everything else.

Graeham's bisexual but it rarely comes up in role-play because he doesn't try and sleep with everything that moves. If people want to make their character's sexuality a major point of their character then that's fine - but they shouldn't be surprised if other people find it off-putting. I feel the same way about straight characters too, so it's not a matter of discrimination.

At any rate I've found that most people are pretty tolerant and welcoming in MMO's so I've never really felt like I was being discriminated against based on my character's sexuality or my own sexuality. The bad apples are usually treated with contempt and shunned when they emerge.

Though if there's some sort of LGBT LS I wouldn't be opposed to an invite provided the place is used for more than just hook ups/sex talk/drama. Might sound a bit like a knee jerk reaction but in my personal experience a lot of the conflict within the LGBT community in MMO's is not from 'outsiders' but from creepy commentary, IC/OOC bleeding and spiteful gossiping so I tend to be quite wary.

Alderique · **06-24-2015, 01:38 AM**

(06-24-2015, 01:03 AM)Graeham Wrote: Though if there's some sort of LGBT LS I wouldn't be opposed to an invite provided the place is used for more than just hook ups/sex talk/drama. Might sound a bit like a knee jerk reaction but in my personal experience a lot of the conflict within the LGBT community in MMO's is not from 'outsiders' but from creepy commentary, IC/OOC bleeding and spiteful gossiping so I tend to be quite wary.

I tend not to hang around with groups of other gay men IRL for this exact reason. I would prefer to avoid this in-game myself, and instead just carry on with chat like any other linkshell.

Jaran · **06-24-2015, 01:53 AM**

+1. Amen to all of what Graeham said.Â
I fall under a couple of the LGBTQA um... letters? One of which is that I'm bisexual.

I also hate the stigma that I get from both sides about being bisexual. Like somehow that makes me someone who wants to sleep with every person I see or something (which could not be any further from the truth). I'm far more interested in the human being, not the genitalia.Â

That said, I see nothing wrong with IC relationships and romance. In fact, I rather enjoy seeing two characters get to know each other and slowly fall for one another. It's cute and I'm not ashamed to say I get a little giddy when it does happen.Â

Also, I really dislike 'outting' myself to the general public. It's not so bad here on the RPC, but in most spaces, people have no idea that I'm a part of the alphabet soup, and the fact that I am not mentioning what other 'letters' I may have in that group should be sorta telling. Some people just aren't comfortable discussing some things outside of safe spaces. These spaces are not a way to discriminate, they're a way of getting things off our chests and minds with others of the same mindset or understanding. I really don't understand why that's too much to ask.

Tseren · **06-24-2015, 01:54 AM**

(06-24-2015, 12:55 AM)Arter Wood Wrote: I've honestly never seen any FC that doesn't like the LGBT community. This is totally a good thing - to put aside pride parades and all that and just to recruit things without any mention of some special organization, which imo is what the "LGBT community" sounds like. Why do I want this to happen? Because I want this to look as equal as they can.

It's not about being special, different, or set apart from someone else.

Most of the LGBT community is forced to rely on straight and cisgendered people and allies for government assistance, medical services, therapy, education on LGBT issues and general support. Many of us donâ€™t have access to other LGBT; we canâ€™t talk to people going through the same things or get resources created by our own members.

Many LGBT people donâ€™t really want to rely on peopleÂ who will never go through theirÂ experiences telling them how to deal with it, but we're often required to do so for our mental, physical and emotional health needs.

This whole experience creates a sense ofÂ dependence that makes LGBT people feel awful; we are capable of standing on our own, we can support our own community. Which doesnâ€™t mean that ally support is not meaningful or welcomed, but just does not replace the need for for intra-community support.

The experiences of the LGBT community areÂ unique â€“ there is no comparable experience to a trans person who is transitioning, for example. While you may sympathize with and support someone who is transitioning, can you really understand what it's like to be dysphoric if you've always been secure with your gender identity? Or what it's like when you're misgendered? Or called by your deadname? Or when you're constantly outed by people in your life, to where complete strangers know who you are and what you are before you even the room? Or when members of your family such as your parents or former spouse are teaching your children about gender in ways that invalidates and marginalizes your entire existence?

While there are many similar things that people go through, LGBT people often feel best supported by connecting to others who have gone through the same things. Allies and cishet people donâ€™t know these experiences; they canâ€™t support LGBT people the same way that other LGBT people can. And thatâ€™s okay!

Pride and LGBT events are very important. Why? Because there's a lot more problems out there than the lack of same sex marriage and viability is really important. Here are few (mostly American based) reasons:
- In 32 states you can still be fired or denied employment based on your gender identity.
- 29 states don't have any kind of LGBT non-discriminatory laws at all, which means you can be fired based on your sexuality as well.
- The same goes for public accommodation (renting or buying a place to live).
- Sexual orientation and gender identity aren't protected under hate crimes in 20 states.
- Sexually active gay men can't donate blood.
- 82% of queer youth reported being verbally harassed because of their identity, and 38% reported being physically attacked.
- Sexual health education doesn't address LGBT sexual heath. We're not taught how to take care of our bodies. For example, lesbians are ten times less likely to get a routine Pap test, because they don't think they can get HPV, but at the same time, four out of five lesbians (including those who have been man-free their whole lives) have it.
- LGBT people are often provided inadequate health coverage and often have to fight with their insurance companies (if they have insurance) for their medical care.
- 40% of homeless youth identify as LGBT, 54% reported being survivors of abuse from their families.
- 14 trans people have been murdered this year - that's more than two a month.
- In the first four months of 2014 there were 102 acts of violence against transgender people worldwide. While several of them were minors, the youngest was an 8 year old who was beaten to death by his father for trying on his mothers clothes.
- Nearly every two days a person is killed somewhere in the world for expressing gender nonconformity.

These are the things that are often discussed and campaigned for/against at Pride, events and community spaces. This are what LGBT legislative groups get signatures and active volunteers for at LGBT Pride events. These are where and how members of the LGBT community are educated about their rights and the active, local campaigns that are fighting for them. These spaces are where we learn to navigate the medical mazes, insurance and legal systems that often fail to cover us properly.

Yes, they're also a celeberation of who we are. It's a way to show us that being LGBT is beautiful, empowering and just plain ok in a world that so often tells us otherwise.

TLDR: It's ok for LGBT people to want to reach out to other LGBT people. There's a lot to be gained from supporting one another. This doesn't mean we don't love our allies or distrust the general population. This doesn't mean we're trying to stand apart. There's no point in "looking equal" when we still have so many legislative, medical, social, mental health, education, employment, family, and public safety needs ect. in which we are being treated unequally.

Tseren · **06-24-2015, 02:16 AM**

(06-24-2015, 12:50 AM)hauntmedoitagain Wrote:
(06-23-2015, 10:44 PM)Tseren Wrote: While I've found it easy to locate LGBT characters, I've found it difficult to find ones who weren't primarily focused on romantic or sexytime plots. But that's kind of the curse of cold calling people you haven't interacted with solely based on their search tags.

Well what do you expect? The LGB parts of LGBT are focused on sexual attraction. It's only natural that it ends up a focus for these characters.

The opportunity to write with characters who might share a comon experience that my character has. Sexual attraction may be part of the LGBT alphabet, but it's not the only way we relate to one another. Especially if you, or your character, is under one of the other letters. It's also often nice to play with someone who's player (and possibly character) understands your characters gender identity, challenges and direction.

It's entirely possible to find, as I've done it through other formats plenty of times.

McBeefâ„¢ · **06-24-2015, 02:17 AM**

I mean, I agree with above in the real world, but everyone is legitimately very nice.

I've never had any issues, and I'm not sure why I'd need an LGBT person help me RP or run a dungeon.

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LGBT Characters and Related Groups (Balmung)

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