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Sigyn Shieldbreaker · **09-07-2013, 10:18 PM**

And you don't even have to do-- I should specify again-- a direct walk-up-and-say-hello. Yes, that's awkward and it rarely happens IRL unless it's at a job fair or something. I recall all the times I've ever started a conversation with someone.

Looking over in a book store and seeing someone reading a book I like or overhearing an order in a cafe and asking if that drink is good. If you tend to hang around a place that's of interest to your character, like the market or a tavern, the docks or a training ground, other characters might have similar interests.

It's another reason I feel compelled to start up a training LS. Just a group of individuals who spar against one another and form connections with expert and novice fighters alike to keep their skills sharp. Anyone who'd be interested to watch could hang around there too. But I'd be much more likely to start it -after- meeting people in character who share such interests.

I should also mention that when people say they don't like seeing closed groups and they're scared to walk up to people, it's not helping to promote just joining an LS or an FC -JUST- to make it easier. Emphasis on the 'just' there, because people who rely on their groups for contact often either end up forming cliques, unintentionally, and only show up when their new friends are about RPing or they feel neglected because LS/FC-mates aren't giving them the RP they joined for. While LS and FCs are great, if you can't build up the courage (not to say you can't have help but practice does contribute a lot to building up your self-esteem) to attempt walk-ups, then you're probably not going to be able to contribute as much as you'd (or your guild leaders) like to the overall LS/FC purpose. Guilds consist of like-minded people and your officers and such can be DMs and they can outline the guild plot and organize events and they should be making sure all the members are happy but it's an equal-part members contributing to the guild itself by going out and working towards the purpose and actively getting involved with one another rather than hoping that their leaders will come get them.

That, of course, really only applies to joining an RP LS/FC, not for OOC ones. I've just seen people try to join guilds for RP because they feel like they'll have more of a chance to get attention and character develop and friendships but they end up feeling neglected and leaving again for a guild they think will do better for them.

Atrius · **09-11-2013, 05:39 PM**

In my opinion the biggest thing you can do is get comfortable with your own character. Get comfortable roleplaying that character. Roleplay that character when no direct interaction is happening.

You don't have to be a Heavy roleplayer to be in character sometimes. Stopping at a hall to turn in a quest? Walk in, look around, throw out an emote, and turn in your quest and leave.

What this does is create opportunities for natural interaction. The reason why walking up and talking to someone is awkward is because it is!

When people are interacting you should know a reason why you would be running into that encounter. This doesn't have to be complex, it doesn't have to be character driven. Think of interactions that people have every day. From saying Hello, to asking for directions, asking someone if they dropped something, confuse them with someone else.

The reason should tie into the location, and the number of people involved. Don't try to steal the stage from them, but if it's a casual encounter it's less likely to break the flow.

If you throw out general interaction enough, even alone, you'll get more comfortable with the character. If it helps, make a cheat sheet. Watch a movie or a show, read a book and note interactions that characters make. Set that sheet next to you when you play. Make up your characters own motivations and keep it on a list. Have some ammo ready to make you more comfortable.

And most of all, don't worry about depth of that interaction. A simple Hello with a wave and move on goes a long way. Don't worry about having an epic tale to tell, worry about where a good place to get a drink is, because you're thirsty...

A small interaction today can turn into a greater interaction tomorrow.

Oroban · **09-11-2013, 06:16 PM**

The biggest issue I have with walking up is the absolute, gut clenching terror that OH GOD WHAT IF THEY AREN'T RPING. I've been on the other side of that, and on the approaching side. I even had a non-RPing friend who I play with on Balmung keep getting approached while he was trying to fish. The best you can do is keep trying...though I'm not really qualified to give the advice because I tend to shy away from it more often than I should! Oops! Search comments and friendly questions seem to help,though. (I'm actually acquainted with someone who roleplays a ton back from my Ragnarok Online days, but he has a bad habit of somehow getting stabbed a lot, so I'll avoid that for the moment. >.>; )

WriathBlackmane · **09-11-2013, 06:34 PM**

Your on balmung so this is largely useless from me, but anyone on gligamesh who might be nervous about first time rp; if you see Sasha somewhere just say hi! (Send me a tell so i realize your talking to me maybe too?). I might not always be in a 'scene' but I can pretty quickly put together an IC reason to be wherever I am.

erosskye · **09-11-2013, 08:22 PM**

I have sat down and discussed the hardships and issues of engaging with roleplayers who are either ignoring players; or have other reason to have done so.

The Ignorance Class ->Here<- Thumbsup

Kylin · **09-11-2013, 08:46 PM**

I see this problem all the time. There are always people, usually newcomers, who struggle to "find" RP. Below is going to be a wall of text that you may or may not find helpful. I've been involved in XIV's RP community since 1.0's pre-launch without any break, and XI's RP community before then for 5-6 years without a break. While my general MMO experience may be lacking, my RP community experience is something I'd hope people would take seriously. I'm sure some may not even agree with some of what's below, but this is based on my experience. So take it or leave it, it's up to you Tongue

Unless you're established in the community (and even if you are), RP takes an amount of effort on your part to find. It will very seldom just fall onto your lap.

Bad Advice Vs Good Advice

I see people constantly give advice to new RPers to help them "find" RP, especially on these forums. Quietly, I usually facepalm because the advice is BAD and rarely works in ACTUAL practice. Here are two examples of common bad advice people dole out to "help people find RP."

"Walk instead of run. This will indicate to others that you're likely a RPer!"
"Throw out a random emote every now and then, like humming or something to that effect. This will show people you're a RPer and possibly start something up!"

/facepalm

These don't work, folks. And when they do, it's super rare. Here's why. Those examples DO signify that you're a RPer, but that's it. They don't break the ice or give an opening for another RPer. I see someone walking around and humming? OOCly, I'm like "oh, cool. A RPer." ICly? I don't do squat. My character isn't going to jump up and start conversing with some random person just because they're walking around and humming. Sorry. Doesn't work that way. It's way too forced for most RPers and makes no sense IC. SOME may do this. Most do not.

Here's some GOOD advice that does work. I personally use these techniques myself ALL THE TIME without fail. Keep in mind some of these techniques may not necessarily work for the more rigid characters, but the majority of RPers can probably use these.

Bumping: This means exactly what it sounds like (and is often a two-step process). You literally emote having your character not paying attention and physically bump into another RPer. This will force the other person to respond to you in some way or another. Depending on the response, you may need to work a bit harder to get something continuous going though, which leads to...

**The Apology: "Ugh, sorry I spilled some of my drink on you. Let me make it up to you by buying you a drink?" Or "I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention. My mind is all over the place due to blah blah." This -usually- leads to an extended interaction with the target.
The Commentary: "That pet is adorable! Does it have a name?" Or "Ugh, why did someone bring their pet pig into the hot springs? Is that even sanitary?" Or "That's a nice outfit. Where did you get it?" Commenting on random little things about another character that grabs your character's attention can be a great icebreaker for RP with the target in question (or even unintended targets).
The Failed Meeting: "Are you the goldsmith from the guild by chance? No? Damn, the bastard was supposed to meet me here half a bell ago. Looks like I got stood up."
The Tell: Exactly as it sounds, you can simply send a tell to someone you want to RP with and tell them as such. "I really like your character and your RP style seems similar to mine. Anyway we can find an excuse to get our characters together for something soon?" And then work out the circumstances from there.

These are just some icebreakers to get things started. But I can tell you now that I've personally used every single one of them in some manner or another. And they work every single time without fail. Of course, you need to put forth some effort to keep the interaction going but that's much easier than getting it started.

Freelance Versus Linkshell

A lot of people, especially new people at launch time, tend to choose freelance RP over linkshell RP. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. But...it doesn't work for everyone. No matter how you spin it, freelancers have to work twice as hard to find RP most of the time. Unless you're an established person in the community with a myriad of resources to pull from, this isn't an easy path to take. Being a freelancer means you need to be capable of pulling from a myriad of IC and OOC resources to get a healthy amount of RP (assuming you like to RP frequently anyway). You're not likely to have such resources if you're virtually unknown like many in this thread are (no offense intended of course). So if you opt to freelance, you need to be prepared to work like hell to get the RP you want. It will not be easy, and most of the work falls on you. Attend every event you possibly can and use some of the icebreakers I mentioned above with random strangers.

If this proves to be too much work, it is highly advised to join a RP shell and build up your resources that way instead. Even this method will take some time though if you're an unknown player/character in the community, so be prepared to put forth some amount of work either way. But a linkshell is a bit easier in allowing to create resources for future RP.

MMO Hopping

Yeah...I have to touch on this a bit. Sorry.

Nowadays, the MMO market is saturated with titles all over the place. Back in the day, putting forth a big list of MMOs you played was seen as a good thing. Endgamers were like "oh snap, this person has vast experience." Rpers were like "ooooh, lots of different RP environments this person was in." Nowadays, there's a gradual change of attitude toward that. Word of advice: Stop listing tons of MMOs in your welcome posts and/or applications to linkshells. Keep it minimal. Why? Because nowadays, someone sees a huge list and thinks: "Yikes, this person is all over the place. They're going to probably jump ship to another game in a few months so I don't know if I want to invest much of MY precious time/energy into them only to potentially get screwed over later..."

That's exactly the train of thought I personally have in the RP community myself. And it seems to be a growing sentiment with a lot of RPers I talk to, like it or not. MMOs, unlike single player games, are generally supposed to be long term commitment games. So some of us long term players see the game hoppers as detrimental to the long-term success of our individual characters, thus avoiding said hoppers like the plague. Personally, my character was DESTROYED in 1.0 when everyone important to his storyline left for "greener pastures." It took me nearly a full year to recover and get to a good place again. This happens to a lot of Rpers these days. Someone who plays your sibling may jump ship, leaving a gaping hole in your family tree/storyline. A lover may drop off the face of the planet without a word, leaving a gaping hole there to fill. Or just some random person who may have got involved in a complex storyline disappears and you needed something from them to advance the current plotline. So yeah, MMO hopping is becoming more and more frowned upon by RPers (and maybe even endgamers to some extent). People aren't going to invest in something that has little chance of returning anything back. That's just the way things are becoming nowadays, like it or not.

So advice here: Only publicize a handful of MMOs you played. This goes for Enjin too. Enjin makes it SUPER easy to track a person's track record. So exercise caution on that site especially. I can literally find almost anyone on it and their past "hopping" trends. Your reputation follows you from one game to the next nowadays Tongue

. Speaking for myself? If I see you have played a ton of MMOs or have a HUUUGE listing in your games list, I'm going to purposely limit my interactions with you to casual conversations only. No storylines at all. I know that sounds terrible, but you have to try to put yourselves in the shoes of the opposite party and understand how the hopping directly and negatively impacts us.

Anyone notice how the 'big name' RPers in the community have largely vanished from the RPC recently? I have. Wanna know a big reason why? Because the flood of new people makes it impossible to discern who's in it for the long haul. Thus, it's difficult for these people to invest too much in the current threads because to them, it may just be a waste of energy. The people who showed up on these forums only within the last couple months are most prone to poofing from the game in the next couple months, and the 'big name' people know this. If that's not a clear sign of how serious people take the MMO hopping issue, I don't know what is. Obviously, nobody can stop hopping. But just be aware that people are starting to look at it very differently than they used to when it comes to RP investment.

Invest in Others

RP in MMOs is not all about you or your character. People don't like always being just support characters. You need to be willing to give others your undivided attention when they want to do something with their character. Doing so will mean that they will likely return the favor when you want to do something with your character and move along your own storyline. You are not THE hero nor are you THE villain. There are many heroes and villains all around you. Give them due consideration and they will almost always return the favor. Long story short, sometimes you have to be willing to relegate your character to "support" role. In fact, that'll happen more often than not.

The easiest way to do this is to either create RP events that focus on social interactions between others or even simply just attend them and make an effort to mingle with a set number of people. It's important to not overstretch yourself though. Too many interactions can make it very difficult for your character to hone in on more in depth relationships with other characters.

Don't Give Up

People seriously give up way too easily these days the second something doesn't work out how they want it. This was so incredibly evident at the gala event. A lot of people were frustrated at the 200+ attendees and just left. While it's understandable to be overwhelmed by that, these people likely shot themselves in the foot and missed out on a lot of opportunities throughout the night after things calmed down.

On the same page of that, you can't get frustrated over your first few failed attempts to make IC friends/enemies. It happens, even with established RPers like myself. Sometimes, circumstances make it difficult to get involved in a certain scene. Or some RPers/characters just may be more secluded than others, or they may be simply overstretched as is. Or they may not even be IC at that time due to some ongoing storyline (they may be ICly in jail, or sick, or so on). So find a different target. And then find another one if that one fails. Or another if necessary. One should be persistent in their search.

In summary though, you have to be willing to put forth effort to get any results. RP will almost never just fall into your lap unless you're highly established as a character/player in the community (and even then, it still doesn't always just happen effortlessly). Like any investment, you get what you put in to the community. Those who stick things out tend to be rewarded the most for their efforts in the long run.

Naunet · **09-11-2013, 09:12 PM**

(09-11-2013, 08:46 PM)Kylin Wrote: Speaking for myself? If I see you have played a ton of MMOs or have a HUUUGE listing in your games list, I'm going to purposely limit my interactions with you to casual conversations only. No storylines at all. I know that sounds terrible, but you have to try to put yourselves in the shoes of the opposite party and understand how the hopping directly and negatively impacts us.

Anyone notice how the 'big name' RPers in the community have largely vanished from the RPC recently? I have. Wanna know a big reason why? Because the flood of new people makes it impossible to discern who's in it for the long haul. Thus, it's difficult for these people to invest too much in the current threads because to them, it may just be a waste of energy. The people who showed up on these forums only within the last couple months are most prone to poofing from the game in the next couple months, and the 'big name' people know this. If that's not a clear sign of how serious people take the MMO hopping issue, I don't know what is. Obviously, nobody can stop hopping. But just be aware that people are starting to look at it very differently than they used to when it comes to RP investment.

Well, this was a load of disturbing to read and not least because of the sweeping judgments and the fact that you never actually describe what you consider "a lot" of MMOs to be. That level of looking down on new players is something I didn't think I'd see.

You have no idea what a person's situation is surrounding what games they play and when. I played WoW without pause for over 4 years, but during that time, I also played other MMOs (without, I will be clear, ever stopping my participation in WoW - I ran a rather hardcore raiding guild right up until the point I quit the game from severe burn-out late last year). Some were not very lengthy stints simply because the game was horrible (Aion), and some are just something I play only casually (Rift). Still others I've poked at out of sheer curiosity (GW2, LotRO, the WildStar beta). Then there was TERA, which actually pulled me away from WoW completely, and I fully intended to remain there for the foreseeable future... but then it went F2P, the community went belly-up, and I just could not stand to deal with BHS and EME anymore. And I wouldn't label those who left 1.0 as MMO hoppers. 1.0 was legitimately horrible, and those who left had every reason to do so. The same can be said for other games.

Basically, shit happens and people have idle curiosities and are generally human, so making assumptions just... seems rather asshole-ish. Especially when you take those assumptions and draw a line against ever having meaningful interactions with a person's character. All without even defining your expectations clearly.

Kylin · **09-11-2013, 09:14 PM**

Watch the namecalling. I don't take kindly to be called "asshole-ish" and it's against the forum rules. So don't do it again.

erosskye · **09-11-2013, 09:32 PM**

::watches the new member run away:: Cactuar

shdwsng · **09-11-2013, 09:49 PM**

To redirect from the previous posts...

As a long time RPer, and a long time MMO RPer, I'll echo what everyone else says. Finding RP is hard, and walk-up RP is kind of intimidating. The post Kylin made had many good points, as well as a few that I disagree with.

For the most part, I've had the best luck finding RP communities like this and lurking around for awhile to find a group that matched what I was looking for in a character. Then I'd join that group and use it as a starting point for RP.

Here in FFXIV, we have different options with the Linkshells as well as the Free Companies. Of the two, I'd focusÂ first on the OOC style Linkshells because they have the potential for a wider membership. And once you have joined the Linkshell OOCly, then I'd use that as a starting point with something like, "Hey, I'm bored. Anyone want to chat in (insert location here)?".Â Usually you'll get a couple of people that will be interested, and then you can take it from there. If you find a Free Company that suits your character, then you can discuss joining up that way for even more IC options. But don't feel limited to one or the other!

Alternately, poke around the Member Directories here on these forums. Send people a polite message saying that you like what they've got available for a character, mention something that your character would have in common with theirs, and then ask if they'd be interested in chatting sometime. If there's the potential for good RP, most of us will probably say yes.

As far as the point raised about gamejumping... If you ARE in a major storyline with someone and need to bow out, then communicating that with them and finding a temporary closure point is always a good thing. Having been on the receiving end, it's really kind of jarring. However, having been on the "crap I don't feel like touching this right now" end... Clear communications are a must, especially when working with really close familiar or romantic relationships. Just because you're playing someone's sister or brother isn't any reason to stick with the game if the thought of logging back in just grinds... Talk to them and come up with something like a job, or a caravan, or an opportunity to study some obscure hobby with a master. And especially if it's a romantic thing, I'd use that as an excuse to break up with them if only for awhile. Limiting someone's play like that is kinda rude, and QUITE jarring to suddenly have your love just go AWOL.

Ildur · **09-11-2013, 10:24 PM**

Kylin's advice is quite sound and good. I'll endorse it with this sticker of a shinny and long beard, and give him a crumpet!
Except for the "MMO Hopping" section, which I don't personally think makes any degree of sense. To blame 'big names' dissapearing on the influx of 'new people' into the community is a bit silly. The simpler answers are the most probably correct: If I had to blame their dissapearance on anything, I'd blame the game. Levelling, dungeoning and RPing in-game is probably what they wanted to do in the first place, so they might be doing that. Or perhaps they played and decided that ARR's design wasn't for them.

The bulk of that section seems to imply there's a correlation between having played a lot of games and being a storyline abandoner. This might happen in some cases, but labelling a whole section of the playerbase (those who have played more than X MMOs before, where X is whatever you consider 'a lot') because they might abandon the game is excessive. You don't find out if a person has investment in the game by looking at a list of games they have played: you find out by interacting with them. Talking with them. Playing with them. Learning what they think of the game and the community. By getting to know them, basically.

You can certainly decide arbitrarily to not include someone in your storylines. You have a right to decide who you spend time with, and nobody can force you to spend time with them if you don't want to. But writting someone off only because of their gaming habits is very rude. It's better to write them off because they are conscious and persistent Mary Sues, godmodders or outright nasty people of any other variety.

Nimilanor · **09-12-2013, 05:05 AM**

I have found that, either just join the EU linkshell and ask for rp (its just a collection of rpers) if your on balmung that is.

Anyway:

I found that just sending a tell to a walking person, or making some posts if you enter a bar and see some people sitting or "" seemingly"" Â standing for a long period.
go with the flow kind of thing.

other than that you can also view the search info on a player.. if it has a "" chat bubble"" Â behind their name in a search it has some added info usually it will be a rper I suppose, but ive seen others with.. weirder.. content..

Im probally in your boat aswell, I am not a fan of the walking up method i just prefer to walk around in town or sit at a bar make some posts and if i get no reaction move on, or go afk till someone else walks up and rp's or whatever really.

All I can say.. most rper's are verry friendly people and wont bite your head off or do anything to make you feel bad in tells. in fact most of them would be verry accomidating, with either yes lets rp, or im a tad busy maybe later.
wichever really!

After being a rper for many years, ive seen good and bad rp sadly the latter usually outwheighing the good and sometimes makes me want to give up on it in general, but then im once again reminded why I do rp..Â

1: to write.. I like writing i can sometimes write half a book over my characters or plot ideas and angles and such and love discussing such aswell with friends or potential rp partners.
2: made some of the best friends I have due to rp.
3: I can be a totally different person in rp..As i always said : you can be the biggest asshat in character. Â just be nice and respectfull to your fellow rpers oocly.

hope it helps!

~nimi~

Reibees · **09-13-2013, 05:17 PM**

I feel that everyone's mistaking my/other's nervousness as being new to RP - I've been a RPer for about 12 years now, I'm in no way new to RP in MMO/Forum/Chat or any variety of RP... that doesn't make my paranoia any less.Â

Also; the MMO hopping.. I find these comments rather rude. I played WoW for EIGHT years. Nonstop. And then I played Tera since OBT until F2P. Accusing someone of being flighty or inactive in the community or a 'hopper' because they previously played more than one game is rather unfair.Â

Don't assume, because I'd gladly dedicate my time to a MMO if I had found an active RP community that interacted with me there. Just because I have played games in the past doesn't mean I'm gonna jump ship from this one. If the RP community fails to interact with me and actively/openly RP? Then yes, I will leave. If I get story/plot/longterm RP? No, I will definitely stay.Â

Outcasting me and others because we played games prior is WHAT runs me and a lot of others off these 'new' games. Excluding me from your story because I slip and say "Oh I played WoW a year ago", is unfair.Â

I'm sorry I didn't know I was only allowed to play XIV 1.0 exclusively? I didn't know that meant I wasn't allowed to RP storylines with others.Â

This is precisely WHY I am intimidated to approach people. /: "You're not good enough for me/my story because x reason"...

Anyway- Thanks everyone for your continued suggestions. I'm still terribly nervous but maybe I'll be able to approach easier soon.

Sakurai Koji · **09-13-2013, 05:36 PM**

Well hell, how bout I make this a step easier for ya. Look me up on balmung, and if you want to rp, we will rp. Give me some more to do, other then then normal leveling up and game story line quests and playing the cat and mouse game trying to find other rpers lol. Idra is a bit of an ass, but I'm sure we can find something to do. If nothing else we could bounce ideas back and forth for fleshing out our characters.

Kylin · **09-13-2013, 05:42 PM**

(09-13-2013, 05:17 PM)Reibees Wrote: I feel that everyone's mistaking my/other's nervousness as being new to RP - I've been a RPer for about 12 years now, I'm in no way new to RP in MMO/Forum/Chat or any variety of RP... that doesn't make my paranoia any less.Â

Also; the MMO hopping.. I find these comments rather rude. I played WoW for EIGHT years. Nonstop. And then I played Tera since OBT until F2P. Accusing someone of being flighty or inactive in the community or a 'hopper' because they previously played more than one game is rather unfair.Â

Don't assume, because I'd gladly dedicate my time to a MMO if I had found an active RP community that interacted with me there. Just because I have played games in the past doesn't mean I'm gonna jump ship from this one. If the RP community fails to interact with me and actively/openly RP? Then yes, I will leave. If I get story/plot/longterm RP? No, I will definitely stay.Â

Outcasting me and others because we played games prior is WHAT runs me and a lot of others off these 'new' games. Excluding me from your story because I slip and say "Oh I played WoW a year ago", is unfair.Â

I'm sorry I didn't know I was only allowed to play XIV 1.0 exclusively? I didn't know that meant I wasn't allowed to RP storylines with others.Â

This is precisely WHY I am intimidated to approach people. /: "You're not good enough for me/my story because x reason"...

Anyway- Thanks everyone for your continued suggestions. I'm still terribly nervous but maybe I'll be able to approach easier soon.

I'm getting really tired of the defensiveness toward this, as amusing as it is. Point is, I'm allowed to have an opinion like anyone else. And I'm allowed to opt who I want to RP with and when.

I never once attacked anyone MMO hopping. Read my post again. Seriously. My point was that OTHER people see a huge list of games on your record and yes, they DO assume. That's human nature. My advice in this arena was to only advertise the major ones, not the other ones someone spent minimal time is. Take the advice or leave it. But stop getting defensive over it. My opinion on the matter will not change either way. Sorry.

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Terribly nervous to walkup - how to meet rpers?

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