What can I say about the past two days? I don't understand what what the man in Ul'dah could possibly see that would attract him so. There is nothing I can do to remedy what is broken in me. I am not what he is looking for, and I admire his ability to accept my saying as much. A friend is what suits me best.
In light of such, back at the house I foolishly stated I would try drink. Having never done so, the effects I was ill prepared for. Though I felt no reason not to let myself indulge if only just this once, after all I was among friends. I am coming to trust them more with each passing day. And the Elezen, Ravusa, she has proven to be someone whom I can trust, and confide.
I can recall no other whom has been as genuine in my past dealings. I only hope, that by looking after me in such a vulnerable state, I had not robbed anyone of rest. More over, I hope I did not alarm my host while I slept. The nightmares of the drunken slumber were vivid, and frightening. It was almost as if it were real. Had I stirred in the night, I would not know. Unlike most other nights without the influence of drink, the nightmares wake me with little effort.
This night, however, I could not. I am embarrassed to think that such a friend as she, could have witnessed me so vulnerable. After slipping out, hopefully unnoticed upon the morning sun, I had to take some air to clear my head. But the pounding, and the pain are quite overwhelming. Perhaps a walk..
In light of such, back at the house I foolishly stated I would try drink. Having never done so, the effects I was ill prepared for. Though I felt no reason not to let myself indulge if only just this once, after all I was among friends. I am coming to trust them more with each passing day. And the Elezen, Ravusa, she has proven to be someone whom I can trust, and confide.
I can recall no other whom has been as genuine in my past dealings. I only hope, that by looking after me in such a vulnerable state, I had not robbed anyone of rest. More over, I hope I did not alarm my host while I slept. The nightmares of the drunken slumber were vivid, and frightening. It was almost as if it were real. Had I stirred in the night, I would not know. Unlike most other nights without the influence of drink, the nightmares wake me with little effort.
This night, however, I could not. I am embarrassed to think that such a friend as she, could have witnessed me so vulnerable. After slipping out, hopefully unnoticed upon the morning sun, I had to take some air to clear my head. But the pounding, and the pain are quite overwhelming. Perhaps a walk..
