
Almost all of your sentiments are things I've said myself, only I was applying them to Titan EX at the time. For days and weeks and weeks and weeks I was trying to complete that fight. It was driving me completely insane that, despite knowing my role as a tank and performing flawlessly, other people dying to slides/bombs/whatever were ending my chances of progression. I found myself debating on quitting for a while since at that point I wasn't doing much of anything besides dying on a progression fight.
A very similar experience when I was trying to down T5 following the DF and nerfs there. With the inflations Twin isn't "difficult" to tank as long as you know what's expected of you, but seeing people dying to conflags? Or not knowing how to do the Twist? That's part of working in a group, though: You take the losses with the wins, and in a constantly fluctuating group of varying experiences and skillsets and ability, you're going to see losses a lot more than you'll see wins. It's a rule of pick-ups in general that you're going to lose. Don't take it personally if you didn't contribute to the wipe and remember there are seven other people who died, too. You might not be the only one worried about how you looked to the group, and I know you'd be one of the first to set someone's mind at ease if they weren't fucking up and wiping everyone.
Do what I do. Raid while drinking!
A very similar experience when I was trying to down T5 following the DF and nerfs there. With the inflations Twin isn't "difficult" to tank as long as you know what's expected of you, but seeing people dying to conflags? Or not knowing how to do the Twist? That's part of working in a group, though: You take the losses with the wins, and in a constantly fluctuating group of varying experiences and skillsets and ability, you're going to see losses a lot more than you'll see wins. It's a rule of pick-ups in general that you're going to lose. Don't take it personally if you didn't contribute to the wipe and remember there are seven other people who died, too. You might not be the only one worried about how you looked to the group, and I know you'd be one of the first to set someone's mind at ease if they weren't fucking up and wiping everyone.
Do what I do. Raid while drinking!