      Too late to run now, Qhon doesn’t bother trying. She coo’s something to her daughter and eyes me balefully as I walk over, the look on my face must be right fierce, as she actually steps back when I stop in front of her.
      I can’t say anything, even though I want too, the little one is looking at me. Vibrant purple eyes assessing, she’s not shy at all. Reminds me of myself, makes me feel like my guts just spilled out onto the ground between us. She looks away a moment later, says something in that small-child talk only a mother will understand. Before Qhon can respond a tall Wildwood man is beside her, arm protectively around her. My expression must be something scary. I try to relax my face.
      It’s impossible to tell how old he is. Elezen live longer than most and he doesn’t look old. His hazel eyes are just short of glaring daggers at me. We’re both wandering who the Hells the other person is. It’s almost funny to me, but I can’t laugh.
      “Qonâ€, he butchers her name. It’s Qhon, not Qon, but I try not to focus on that, only Miqo’te can say a name like hers right. Not his fault. “Someone you know?†He asks softly. I hear, I hope this is someone you don’t know.
      Mayhap I’m just imagining that. I am.
      Qhon turns and hands over her - our - girl to the Wildwood. She takes to him easily, happily. What she calls him is unmistakable; pa. He’s father to her, even though it’s all wrong and my heart just skipped a beat and burst. The little one’s tail swishes happily, she babbles.
      “Take her Jeand, I will not be long,†Qhon’s voice is stoic, even. They look at each other a moment, then they share some understanding that only long familiarity can bring. Daughter-I-ain’t-know-about reaches for her as he turns to go. She says something, he says no. She cries. It fades as she moves further away. Funny how it can seem like the world is ending when you’re that small, just because you’re being moved away from your ma for a short time.
      “Why ain’t ye-†is all I can get out before she cuts me off.
      “You ain’t need to know,†she replies, curt.
      “Why fer not?â€
      “Easier for everyone.â€
      The makes me angry again. Easier on who? Was this how it was meant to be? I was a boy when my clan was smote to nothing by the Greenwrath, the Wood set to raging by what was freed from Dalamud. I ain’t get to see how it was supposed to be. My own pa dead before I was old enough to even wonder about him. Am I supposed to provide a seed for the fertile soil and then set off? Was I the wrong one here?
      Old pains. I almost cry right there, but I’m a man now, not the screaming boy what wailed at the loss with his twin for hours. I swallow hard.
      “She’s beautiful,†is what I choose to say. It takes Qhon by surprise, her stoic mean-mask falls off, one very near to guilt replaces it.
      “Mm, she is and we love her.†We. Her and Jeand, the Wildwood.
      “You’re married,†see, I’m not so dumb. I can sum two things together to see the whole.
      She nods, expressionless again. “Five years.†Her ears are quirked on guard, tail anxious. Mine are the same. Our kind is easy to read, even though her face is placid her body betrays her.
      Five years? But the morning we shared fell definitely within her marriage. It baffles me a moment. Most married folk ain’t keen on sharing. So that’s why I ain’t ever see her after, why she stumbled upon me in the Wood and were so quick to get to bed, why she ain’t want to talk much during or after. Just before, to see what sort of man I was. Though I was barely a man when it happened.
      I suck in a breath to ask, and she cuts me off, guessing rightly about what I’m about to say.
      “We tried on our own, it just ain’t meant to be. He were born seedless, or the Gods ain’t see to bless our union. Who knows.â€
      I frown, but I’m not sure why. So that were it, I was a stud. It occurred to me I was like to have a kitten or two about, but considering the abstraction and seeing the reality ain’t the same. I saw her for moments and already I loved her. There was that sick feeling again.
      “What’s ‘er name?â€
      Qhon frowns, brow knitting, deciding. She doesn’t want to tell me. If I know that’s less distance, makes her even more real to me, not that I could see her as less than real. Sorry Qhon, I just saw her and I’m in too deep already. Can’t muck it up any more than we already have.
      She seems to come to the same conclusion, “Nia,†she says finally, voice low, like it’s a secret.
      “Niaâ€, I repeat, testing it. Sounds wonderful.
      “Please just go,†Qhon says, voice taking on a hard edge, “we’re happy. She’s happy. I’m sorry to not have told you, but I were thinking of Jeand and mine’s happiness. You weren’t supposed to find out.â€
      I turn away, looking for Nia, she’s some distance away, and done crying. Jeand’s got her busy with what looks like a little toy. My eyes are sharp but I can’t tell what it is from this far. They look happy, though Jeand has got an eye on me. I think he’s figured it out.
      Had a lover once I was right fond of, she had a bad heart. Kaahi was her name. She was brown too, like Qhon. Told me all about how she was raised by a kind Elezen man, how much she missed him after he was gone. She’d tell me stories about how she grew up as we lay together after lovemaking. Things weren’t always perfect between us, but it hurt a lot after her heart finally gave up on her. She knew it were coming, asked me to bury her next to her Elezen father when the time came. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
      Nia would have a better life with Qhon and Jeand. His clothes marked him for a man that wasn’t poor, and though he looked at me sternly he had nothing but softness in his gaze for Nia. It was painful to watch.
      Bet the arsehole could read too.
      What was my being around worth next to something like that? True, I’m a Hearer, and not a bad one. But that meant being far afield betimes, and the money were never as good as what a man dresses as he does might have. I hadn’t noticed in my shock, but Nia was wearing finery herself, an adorable Miqo’te Doll-Girl. All that and they loved each other too. Nothing could come from poor, dumb Rakka’li but confusion.
      Too clear to me, crystal. I blink rapid-like as I look back to Qhon. Dirt in my eyes.
      Qhon’s got the barest hint of sympathy on her face. She really was sorry for it, even if she were prepared to double-down on how mean she’d need to be. I swallowed again. There’d be no need, I’m not that dumb.
      “I’m glad I know,†I say, even though my mouth feels like I’ve been dining on ash.
      She looks doubtful, so I press on, “I won’t get in yer way ‘er nothin’, but if there’s anythin’ ye need d-â€
      “We won’t,†ouch, did she have to be so short about it?
      “-even so, if there’s anythin’ ye need. M’ a Conjurer true an-â€
      “There’s other Conjurers about.â€
      I grit my teeth. She’s right of course, I’m reaching for wet twigs and trying to build a fire with it. Could I blame her? She used me to get everything she wanted, and I never spared that morning a second thought until today, was I any better? In for an onze, in for a ponze. She’d be stupid to not stay mean enough to keep it as it was.
      “Rakka’li,†oh, she did remember my name, somehow that makes me feel slightly better, “don’t feel like you’re responsible. It was my doing, the lot of it. You’ve grown into an adventurer anyroad.â€
      An adventurer? Is that what I was? I suppose it was half true. In my mind I’m just me, but I’ve had my share of adventures ain’t I? Still, seems like a bad fit.
      “Good bye,†she says, in a way that means ‘don’t talk to me again’. I struggle to say something else, my ears flattening in a way that says I’m really, really unhappy, she notes them silently, but says nothing more, only sparing me a mournful look before hurrying after her husband and Nia. I watch them go, eyes fixed on the spot where they finally vanish from sight completely. Jeand shoots me one look before he’s gone, it’s not friendly.
      Ain’t this what I wanted? To fuck as I please and forget about it? Slake my pleasure and get gone.
      I already know I’m lying to myself, it’s a bitter truth. Most truths are. Truth is I’m a sad sort, though I grin a lot. Mayhap grin too much. I think of my twin Rakka’sae, and how far he is, I wonder if he’s safe. I can’t keep no one in my life no more, Kaahi died, and Lhei left me for her clan-home. Who could think to blame her? Only folk that seek me out are looking to fuck or have a problem with Elementals, and Elementals ain’t really count as folk.
      All I can think of is Nia looking at me, curious for a moment, fearless. Eyes all the same as mine.
      I stand there so long that a passing Lalafell, a friendly one, tugs on my robe and asks me if I’m alright. I lie and tell her I’m fine. She frowns at me, so I turn tail and set off.
      I can’t say anything, even though I want too, the little one is looking at me. Vibrant purple eyes assessing, she’s not shy at all. Reminds me of myself, makes me feel like my guts just spilled out onto the ground between us. She looks away a moment later, says something in that small-child talk only a mother will understand. Before Qhon can respond a tall Wildwood man is beside her, arm protectively around her. My expression must be something scary. I try to relax my face.
      It’s impossible to tell how old he is. Elezen live longer than most and he doesn’t look old. His hazel eyes are just short of glaring daggers at me. We’re both wandering who the Hells the other person is. It’s almost funny to me, but I can’t laugh.
      “Qonâ€, he butchers her name. It’s Qhon, not Qon, but I try not to focus on that, only Miqo’te can say a name like hers right. Not his fault. “Someone you know?†He asks softly. I hear, I hope this is someone you don’t know.
      Mayhap I’m just imagining that. I am.
      Qhon turns and hands over her - our - girl to the Wildwood. She takes to him easily, happily. What she calls him is unmistakable; pa. He’s father to her, even though it’s all wrong and my heart just skipped a beat and burst. The little one’s tail swishes happily, she babbles.
      “Take her Jeand, I will not be long,†Qhon’s voice is stoic, even. They look at each other a moment, then they share some understanding that only long familiarity can bring. Daughter-I-ain’t-know-about reaches for her as he turns to go. She says something, he says no. She cries. It fades as she moves further away. Funny how it can seem like the world is ending when you’re that small, just because you’re being moved away from your ma for a short time.
      “Why ain’t ye-†is all I can get out before she cuts me off.
      “You ain’t need to know,†she replies, curt.
      “Why fer not?â€
      “Easier for everyone.â€
      The makes me angry again. Easier on who? Was this how it was meant to be? I was a boy when my clan was smote to nothing by the Greenwrath, the Wood set to raging by what was freed from Dalamud. I ain’t get to see how it was supposed to be. My own pa dead before I was old enough to even wonder about him. Am I supposed to provide a seed for the fertile soil and then set off? Was I the wrong one here?
      Old pains. I almost cry right there, but I’m a man now, not the screaming boy what wailed at the loss with his twin for hours. I swallow hard.
      “She’s beautiful,†is what I choose to say. It takes Qhon by surprise, her stoic mean-mask falls off, one very near to guilt replaces it.
      “Mm, she is and we love her.†We. Her and Jeand, the Wildwood.
      “You’re married,†see, I’m not so dumb. I can sum two things together to see the whole.
      She nods, expressionless again. “Five years.†Her ears are quirked on guard, tail anxious. Mine are the same. Our kind is easy to read, even though her face is placid her body betrays her.
      Five years? But the morning we shared fell definitely within her marriage. It baffles me a moment. Most married folk ain’t keen on sharing. So that’s why I ain’t ever see her after, why she stumbled upon me in the Wood and were so quick to get to bed, why she ain’t want to talk much during or after. Just before, to see what sort of man I was. Though I was barely a man when it happened.
      I suck in a breath to ask, and she cuts me off, guessing rightly about what I’m about to say.
      “We tried on our own, it just ain’t meant to be. He were born seedless, or the Gods ain’t see to bless our union. Who knows.â€
      I frown, but I’m not sure why. So that were it, I was a stud. It occurred to me I was like to have a kitten or two about, but considering the abstraction and seeing the reality ain’t the same. I saw her for moments and already I loved her. There was that sick feeling again.
      “What’s ‘er name?â€
      Qhon frowns, brow knitting, deciding. She doesn’t want to tell me. If I know that’s less distance, makes her even more real to me, not that I could see her as less than real. Sorry Qhon, I just saw her and I’m in too deep already. Can’t muck it up any more than we already have.
      She seems to come to the same conclusion, “Nia,†she says finally, voice low, like it’s a secret.
      “Niaâ€, I repeat, testing it. Sounds wonderful.
      “Please just go,†Qhon says, voice taking on a hard edge, “we’re happy. She’s happy. I’m sorry to not have told you, but I were thinking of Jeand and mine’s happiness. You weren’t supposed to find out.â€
      I turn away, looking for Nia, she’s some distance away, and done crying. Jeand’s got her busy with what looks like a little toy. My eyes are sharp but I can’t tell what it is from this far. They look happy, though Jeand has got an eye on me. I think he’s figured it out.
      Had a lover once I was right fond of, she had a bad heart. Kaahi was her name. She was brown too, like Qhon. Told me all about how she was raised by a kind Elezen man, how much she missed him after he was gone. She’d tell me stories about how she grew up as we lay together after lovemaking. Things weren’t always perfect between us, but it hurt a lot after her heart finally gave up on her. She knew it were coming, asked me to bury her next to her Elezen father when the time came. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
      Nia would have a better life with Qhon and Jeand. His clothes marked him for a man that wasn’t poor, and though he looked at me sternly he had nothing but softness in his gaze for Nia. It was painful to watch.
      Bet the arsehole could read too.
      What was my being around worth next to something like that? True, I’m a Hearer, and not a bad one. But that meant being far afield betimes, and the money were never as good as what a man dresses as he does might have. I hadn’t noticed in my shock, but Nia was wearing finery herself, an adorable Miqo’te Doll-Girl. All that and they loved each other too. Nothing could come from poor, dumb Rakka’li but confusion.
      Too clear to me, crystal. I blink rapid-like as I look back to Qhon. Dirt in my eyes.
      Qhon’s got the barest hint of sympathy on her face. She really was sorry for it, even if she were prepared to double-down on how mean she’d need to be. I swallowed again. There’d be no need, I’m not that dumb.
      “I’m glad I know,†I say, even though my mouth feels like I’ve been dining on ash.
      She looks doubtful, so I press on, “I won’t get in yer way ‘er nothin’, but if there’s anythin’ ye need d-â€
      “We won’t,†ouch, did she have to be so short about it?
      “-even so, if there’s anythin’ ye need. M’ a Conjurer true an-â€
      “There’s other Conjurers about.â€
      I grit my teeth. She’s right of course, I’m reaching for wet twigs and trying to build a fire with it. Could I blame her? She used me to get everything she wanted, and I never spared that morning a second thought until today, was I any better? In for an onze, in for a ponze. She’d be stupid to not stay mean enough to keep it as it was.
      “Rakka’li,†oh, she did remember my name, somehow that makes me feel slightly better, “don’t feel like you’re responsible. It was my doing, the lot of it. You’ve grown into an adventurer anyroad.â€
      An adventurer? Is that what I was? I suppose it was half true. In my mind I’m just me, but I’ve had my share of adventures ain’t I? Still, seems like a bad fit.
      “Good bye,†she says, in a way that means ‘don’t talk to me again’. I struggle to say something else, my ears flattening in a way that says I’m really, really unhappy, she notes them silently, but says nothing more, only sparing me a mournful look before hurrying after her husband and Nia. I watch them go, eyes fixed on the spot where they finally vanish from sight completely. Jeand shoots me one look before he’s gone, it’s not friendly.
      Ain’t this what I wanted? To fuck as I please and forget about it? Slake my pleasure and get gone.
      I already know I’m lying to myself, it’s a bitter truth. Most truths are. Truth is I’m a sad sort, though I grin a lot. Mayhap grin too much. I think of my twin Rakka’sae, and how far he is, I wonder if he’s safe. I can’t keep no one in my life no more, Kaahi died, and Lhei left me for her clan-home. Who could think to blame her? Only folk that seek me out are looking to fuck or have a problem with Elementals, and Elementals ain’t really count as folk.
      All I can think of is Nia looking at me, curious for a moment, fearless. Eyes all the same as mine.
      I stand there so long that a passing Lalafell, a friendly one, tugs on my robe and asks me if I’m alright. I lie and tell her I’m fine. She frowns at me, so I turn tail and set off.
