Val hadn't been able to get much sleep since that day in the Quicksand; the one where Verad had proclaimed himself to be Eorzea's Greatest Lover. It rubbed Val the wrong way. How could that man seriously call himself the greatest lover. If anything, it should be him! Alas, Verad had pointed out something very true: There were no books written about Val's exploits in making love, whereas Verad had at least one (that he'd no doubt written himself).Â
...Val wasn't much of a writer, nor did he really know his way around books. He didn't even know how to go about getting one written, much less published and sold throughout Eorzea. Honestly, Val didn't even know what "publishing" was. What he did know, however, is that Verad had sold a giant pile of Lalafel lust novels to the Company upon their first meeting, something about a shipping error--whatever that was. Luckily for him, Val knew precisely where these books were kept.
For the next few days, Val would remain late in his office to "finish up paperwork," which wasn't entirely a lie. He would pull one of the large sacks out from under his bed, which contained only a sampling of the total books, and write in them with ink and quill. When he finished, he tore the original cover off and used his own sewing techniques (which were actually quite impressive; another skill he'd never admit to)Â to bind a new cover to it. The title was simply, "val nunh iz gratizt luvr in eyorzeeuh".
He repeated this process for each book until he'd finished and, when Verad was out one day, slipped into the man's room and dumped all of the books in his floor. Should Verad happen upon them and decide to actually read them, he'd find that only the first page was written on in all of them. They all contained different things; it was a volumed set! First edition, all for Verad! They contained marvelous things such as:
"val nunh iz gretizt luvr"
"val nunh iz betr et luvn den vehraid"
"nu won cumperz 3 val nunh en behd"
Some seemed to be written from the perspective of others:
"wun dey i wuz en brahnz laik n i thot titen wuz ataken but den ey herd fey mone n new it wuz jest val shayken wirld wif hiz luv"
"i herd hi mekz fey soh wet dat luhveyuhthan gitz jeluz"
"dey sey hi mekz hur screm soh lowd itz liek siren iz sumond i pee uh litl sumtimz cuz i thenk shi iz"
After a while he seemed to have gotten bored, drawing little squiggly lines next to them and often showing crude stick-figure diagrams to illustrate precisely what he'd been doing during his personal time with his ladies. Some of the phrases were written horizontally, some vertically, and some diagonal. Some had smiley faces drawn beside them, and some a circle with an oval at the top that might have been a thumb's up.
Val left the office with a smile on his face. That'll show 'em.
...Val wasn't much of a writer, nor did he really know his way around books. He didn't even know how to go about getting one written, much less published and sold throughout Eorzea. Honestly, Val didn't even know what "publishing" was. What he did know, however, is that Verad had sold a giant pile of Lalafel lust novels to the Company upon their first meeting, something about a shipping error--whatever that was. Luckily for him, Val knew precisely where these books were kept.
For the next few days, Val would remain late in his office to "finish up paperwork," which wasn't entirely a lie. He would pull one of the large sacks out from under his bed, which contained only a sampling of the total books, and write in them with ink and quill. When he finished, he tore the original cover off and used his own sewing techniques (which were actually quite impressive; another skill he'd never admit to)Â to bind a new cover to it. The title was simply, "val nunh iz gratizt luvr in eyorzeeuh".
He repeated this process for each book until he'd finished and, when Verad was out one day, slipped into the man's room and dumped all of the books in his floor. Should Verad happen upon them and decide to actually read them, he'd find that only the first page was written on in all of them. They all contained different things; it was a volumed set! First edition, all for Verad! They contained marvelous things such as:
"val nunh iz gretizt luvr"
"val nunh iz betr et luvn den vehraid"
"nu won cumperz 3 val nunh en behd"
Some seemed to be written from the perspective of others:
"wun dey i wuz en brahnz laik n i thot titen wuz ataken but den ey herd fey mone n new it wuz jest val shayken wirld wif hiz luv"
"i herd hi mekz fey soh wet dat luhveyuhthan gitz jeluz"
"dey sey hi mekz hur screm soh lowd itz liek siren iz sumond i pee uh litl sumtimz cuz i thenk shi iz"
After a while he seemed to have gotten bored, drawing little squiggly lines next to them and often showing crude stick-figure diagrams to illustrate precisely what he'd been doing during his personal time with his ladies. Some of the phrases were written horizontally, some vertically, and some diagonal. Some had smiley faces drawn beside them, and some a circle with an oval at the top that might have been a thumb's up.
Val left the office with a smile on his face. That'll show 'em.
![[Image: ValForumSignature.png~original]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v443/Kendei/ValForumSignature.png~original)
