I'll use a recent little thing that happened since I am a person that will admit I have a hard time separating the two--within a certain reason.
Basically, Tarot screwed up royally. He therefore becamme defensive. I therefore became defensive. My personality, whenever things don't go the way I planned or when I look like an ass, leads me to steam over things for a while, essentially thinking of a million different ways I can respond to largely hypothetical scenarios.
For instance, I almost found myself dreading the inevitable scolding Tarot would receive. Not because it was the group demoting me or trashing Tarot or anything; it was because Tarot (and thus myself) had guessed wrong about something in an RP related to the group and it, ICly, cost the group in terms of endangering his teammates.
What was more is that, since Tarot is very dear to me, is very much a character (as someone said earlier) that I have invested a great deal of time and care into, his emotions become mine. I knew the player was a great person but the character was smug and full of themselves (at least from Tarot's perspective) so he knew that apologizing--at least he guessed apologizing--would be met with a demeaning and dismissive response from the person he screwed up with.
This compounded my own emotions since that type of response pissed me off personally--you begin to see where this is headed? I actually had to pull myself away from the computer and take a day to relax and deal with it. Some people, like myself, sadly have that sort of thing. Thankfully, I've learned from previous flare ups to pull out before I have my character say or do something stupid that is largely OUT of character for them simply as a response to the feelings I have.
This is still something I am working on and I doubt I'll ever largely be free of. I say all this to just give a reminder that some of us are aware of this problem we have and that, maybe, a 'safe' word (he) could be used to indicate when you are feeling a bit too testy or upset and need a moment. Something to let your fellows players know 'Hey, I'm getting that feeling in my gut, I need to just leave.'
Tarot isn't the type to storm off an pout, which means that I need to formulate an escape for him--but if this 'safety' word exists than maybe it will be easier for players to pull out and their fellow RPers can simply gloss over the character's departure. Instead of:
"Oh yeah, we tried to talk to him/her but they just left in a huff"
It can be that the OOC notification is given and the player just leaves to cool off then later on the characters can say,
"Hey, you okay? You kinda got quiet and then X before you left'
Something along those lines so that if you need to back out quickly for the blurring of lines, you don't feel like your character will further be stigmatized, y'know?
Hope that was clear!
Basically, Tarot screwed up royally. He therefore becamme defensive. I therefore became defensive. My personality, whenever things don't go the way I planned or when I look like an ass, leads me to steam over things for a while, essentially thinking of a million different ways I can respond to largely hypothetical scenarios.
For instance, I almost found myself dreading the inevitable scolding Tarot would receive. Not because it was the group demoting me or trashing Tarot or anything; it was because Tarot (and thus myself) had guessed wrong about something in an RP related to the group and it, ICly, cost the group in terms of endangering his teammates.
What was more is that, since Tarot is very dear to me, is very much a character (as someone said earlier) that I have invested a great deal of time and care into, his emotions become mine. I knew the player was a great person but the character was smug and full of themselves (at least from Tarot's perspective) so he knew that apologizing--at least he guessed apologizing--would be met with a demeaning and dismissive response from the person he screwed up with.
This compounded my own emotions since that type of response pissed me off personally--you begin to see where this is headed? I actually had to pull myself away from the computer and take a day to relax and deal with it. Some people, like myself, sadly have that sort of thing. Thankfully, I've learned from previous flare ups to pull out before I have my character say or do something stupid that is largely OUT of character for them simply as a response to the feelings I have.
This is still something I am working on and I doubt I'll ever largely be free of. I say all this to just give a reminder that some of us are aware of this problem we have and that, maybe, a 'safe' word (he) could be used to indicate when you are feeling a bit too testy or upset and need a moment. Something to let your fellows players know 'Hey, I'm getting that feeling in my gut, I need to just leave.'
Tarot isn't the type to storm off an pout, which means that I need to formulate an escape for him--but if this 'safety' word exists than maybe it will be easier for players to pull out and their fellow RPers can simply gloss over the character's departure. Instead of:
"Oh yeah, we tried to talk to him/her but they just left in a huff"
It can be that the OOC notification is given and the player just leaves to cool off then later on the characters can say,
"Hey, you okay? You kinda got quiet and then X before you left'
Something along those lines so that if you need to back out quickly for the blurring of lines, you don't feel like your character will further be stigmatized, y'know?
Hope that was clear!
![[Image: tumblr_na3nykiJYw1tj8x6po1_400.jpg]](https://31.media.tumblr.com/9aff6ba119629667e6fc2104ce65b848/tumblr_na3nykiJYw1tj8x6po1_400.jpg)
