(10-02-2014, 03:35 PM)Melkire Wrote: Dear Phoenix,
Family can be such a bother. Enlistment suited me back when I was turning my life around, but now I find soldiering tedious and boring. I fancy a change, and the change I fancy is transfer. Ran into a few tight spots under my former commanding officer, you see, that required quite a bit of legwork as well as a discerning eye. Though I abhor and despise their practices, I suppose I could work within the system of our local red-clad constabulary, for the good of the people and in the interest of my own satisfaction.
Alas! The wretches that call themselves my flesh and blood insist that I settle and marry, of all notions. I've neither the time nor the inclination for a husband, let alone children, and yet they won't hear a word against the idea! How do I go about getting their attention long enough for them to listen to me, short of setting their hair on fire?
Signed,
A Small Sunflower
P.S. I love my parents, but they can be such a bother at times.
P.P.S. Please pardon the desperation behind this letter. Appalling, that these words could not be committed to parchment without such disgraceful behavior typical of the self-absorbed: "I, I, I, I, I." Apologies if I have offended.
Dear Small Sunflower,
Barring your suggestion of setting your hair (or theirs) on fire, your problem is not terribly difficult to remedy. There is the simple option of ignoring them, but this is neither a permanent fix nor particularly satisfying. You could, of course, try the alternative route of showing yourself to be vastly incompetent in the field of courting--pick several suitors that are absolutely detestable to your family (or at least find a handful of friends to masquerade as such). This will give you the delightful chance to watch your family scramble to find you a suitable suitor--to which, you can, after turning down a few options they chose, remind them if they try again that 'Mother/Father/Guardian--need I remind you that you've enlisted several suitors for me over the past few months and they've all been unqualified disasters.'
Within a few months time, you get to have some fun and turn the entire burden of inadequacy back on them rather than yourself.
If all else fails, I know of an alchemist that will happily sell you a flammable tonic.
Signed,
The Phoenix
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