(10-07-2014, 01:02 PM)Lyriell Wrote: I really don't like a lot of people being so onesided in their answers here.
We literally only know one side of the story and that side isn't even explained proberly.
Maybe I'm missing something here since the original post was edited, but was the guy cheating on you IRL or just via ERP?
If the latter is the case then you need to ask yourself, can this really be considered cheating? What if that guy looks at the picture of a naked woman? Is that considered cheating too? What about music videos? Lot's of them have naked booties and titties in them, is that considered cheating too then?
I don't want to be an asshat about it...but men...are men you know..?
Aside from that, just because he's doing ERP doesn't mean he does it to get off to it.
I for example consider ERP to be part of a characters development. If it fits the situation then I don't see anything wrong with it. We're playing out the life of a character and sadly the sexual life is a part of that as well.
Now if he's doing ERP constantly without any plot to it involved and if he's pretty much just an ERP whore then I'd understand your dilemma. But if it only happens occassionaly then I'd see nothing wrong with it.
I also don't like how people say the guy has to set his priorities right. You don't even know him. Maybe he cherishes his freedom?
I for one wouldn't like to be told what I have to do, not even by my girlfriend, my mother or anyone. If I feel I'm not in the wrong, then why should I have to change?
I hope that's some food for thought.
At the beginning of our relationship, my boyfriend was not okay with the idea of me ERPing. I didn't view it as anything to akin to being unfaithful, but he did, so out of respect for him, I stopped ERPing for a few years because he is more important to me than a highly unnecessary facet of my RP. I did it because he asked me, not because he told me. Now, we've been together long enough and have had enough talks about it that he understands my reasons, so he doesn't really care if I do it. However, if he was never comfortable with the idea, I'd be perfectly okay with never ERPing again. I think that's perfectly reasonable.
The issue here isn't whether ERP can be considered cheating or not. Sure, it might be great if the OP opened her mind and stopped viewing all ERP as something OOCly perverse, but that's not the problem here. The problem is that he brushed off her concerns--something bad enough, made inexcusable by the fact that he (if I'm reading the post right?) cheated on her once before with someone online, thus giving her every right to feel uncomfortable and paranoid. Not only is he ERPing despite her not liking it and despite him possibly not doing a good job of explaining his reasoning, but he also insulted and berated her for feeling insecure after he cheated on her. That's not okay, regardless of whether ERPing is actually "cheating."