I've been watching the thread since just after the logs or examples or whatever were removed... honestly, I can't bring myself to believe the OP isn't trolling.Â
On the off-chance, though, that this is a legitimate cry for help and/or for any future legitimate inquiries to the topic, here's my couple of shiny coppers:
Should both IRL partners be okay with ERP?Â
-- ERP can be a legitimate aspect of roleplaying; for some people as natural and normal as RPing someone eating or taking a walk somewhere, and it has no more effect on their personal life as RPing eating or taking a walk somewhere.Â
-- Of course, there ARE people out there who ERP is done solely for a sense of gratification and a person engaging it has no real legitimate RP reasons behind the act. This is what I would consider cybering, not ERP, but I know not everyone follows the same reasoning I do.
-- Knowing what the motivation is behind the acts is probably one of the first steps in deciding if you should be understanding about your IRL partner's want to participate in ERP.
-- On the flipside, what are your objections to your partner's desire to ERP? Is it an ambiguous "It's wrong/cheating!", or do you have specific reasons that relate to -Your Personal- feelings? If you are really against the idea of your partner ERPing, you will probably get further in reaching some sort of understanding if you first sit down and identify your personal motivations and objections.
Respect the IRL relationship.
-- Of course. The IRL relationship SHOULD always come first. There is, however, no cookie-cutter answer to what "respect the relationship" means, because before you can respect the relationship, you have to define it first, and that definition is going to vary from couple to couple. Communication and understanding is key to any relationship.Â
-- There are people here who are in healthy, committed relationships (long-term dating, married, etc) who participate in ERP with people other than their IRL partners, and they have their partner's permission to freely do so. Other people in healthy, committed relationships, their IRL partners have a few stipulations/restrictions ('only if the player of the other character is the same gender', 'only with X-person/people because I know them', etc). Other people, again in healthy and committed relationships, don't participate at all because their IRL partner has objected to the idea.Â
As for the OP... again, on what I think is an unlikely chance that it's not a troll... there's obviously more problems in the relationship than just the ERP. There was prior cheating involved, a lack of respect (the name calling), and... some intolerance (the edited-out "perverts" comment). Add to it that the OP had already labeled the boyfriend as the "soon-to-be-ex"... again, there's enough there for me to think that the relationship was doomed even without the ERP aspect.
On the off-chance, though, that this is a legitimate cry for help and/or for any future legitimate inquiries to the topic, here's my couple of shiny coppers:
Should both IRL partners be okay with ERP?Â
-- ERP can be a legitimate aspect of roleplaying; for some people as natural and normal as RPing someone eating or taking a walk somewhere, and it has no more effect on their personal life as RPing eating or taking a walk somewhere.Â
-- Of course, there ARE people out there who ERP is done solely for a sense of gratification and a person engaging it has no real legitimate RP reasons behind the act. This is what I would consider cybering, not ERP, but I know not everyone follows the same reasoning I do.
-- Knowing what the motivation is behind the acts is probably one of the first steps in deciding if you should be understanding about your IRL partner's want to participate in ERP.
-- On the flipside, what are your objections to your partner's desire to ERP? Is it an ambiguous "It's wrong/cheating!", or do you have specific reasons that relate to -Your Personal- feelings? If you are really against the idea of your partner ERPing, you will probably get further in reaching some sort of understanding if you first sit down and identify your personal motivations and objections.
Respect the IRL relationship.
-- Of course. The IRL relationship SHOULD always come first. There is, however, no cookie-cutter answer to what "respect the relationship" means, because before you can respect the relationship, you have to define it first, and that definition is going to vary from couple to couple. Communication and understanding is key to any relationship.Â
-- There are people here who are in healthy, committed relationships (long-term dating, married, etc) who participate in ERP with people other than their IRL partners, and they have their partner's permission to freely do so. Other people in healthy, committed relationships, their IRL partners have a few stipulations/restrictions ('only if the player of the other character is the same gender', 'only with X-person/people because I know them', etc). Other people, again in healthy and committed relationships, don't participate at all because their IRL partner has objected to the idea.Â
As for the OP... again, on what I think is an unlikely chance that it's not a troll... there's obviously more problems in the relationship than just the ERP. There was prior cheating involved, a lack of respect (the name calling), and... some intolerance (the edited-out "perverts" comment). Add to it that the OP had already labeled the boyfriend as the "soon-to-be-ex"... again, there's enough there for me to think that the relationship was doomed even without the ERP aspect.
