I think I'm best off talking personal views first, and characters second.
ERP is a very difficult subject to talk about with any sort of mature discussion (the irony, right?), so I am gratified to see it discussed in this thread with calm and rationality. As an RPer, I've had my share of it, in both one-night, short bursts and in long-term RP relationships that spanned months, and in a couple of cases years, of time. To be blunt, I have learned many things the hard way, having had some incredibly wonderful, character building experiences, and admittedly, some horrible ones that, earlier in my RP career, led to some severe OOC issues. However, the one benefit to learning the hard way is that one gains insight on how to handle it, so I have a few core rules I have established for myself.
Story is key. ERP should be a part of a character's persona, and build from it, when it is practiced. If one wants to have a character who actively seeks it out, then I say, play on, but the character should remain a character and not merely a posting-machine. That doesn't preclude fast meetings and exciting new encounters, of course, but these should ideally affect, or be affected by, the personalities of both participants.
I insist on at least a little play-up RP before engaging or moving towards a sexual encounter, and I don't mean simply foreplay. I want to talk to the other participant in the same way I'd get to know actual people - banter, share stories, flirt, gauge the characters' attractions, and, to be blunt, test out the other person' ability to RP effectively. Yes, this is elitist, perhaps, but ERP with a bad RPer is ten times worse than any other sort of RP with a bad RPer! Though we have some very limited visuals, FFXIV is still largely a text-based medium for these sorts of thing, and if the banter is bad, the sex is going to be a lot worse!
Comfort between players is the single most important thing - be sensitive to your partners' wishes and how far they are willing to go, and be prepared to stop and fade to black if a comfort zone is breached. I have had a number of RP relationships over several games in which pretty much anything and everything was described in tantalizing detail, but I have had others in which the couple faded to black at the moment the first item of clothing dropped, and the latter were still some of the best experiences of my time, because the story was so well done, the other character so built up and vibrant and fun, that the mechanics themselves were disposable. Yes, it can be a mood killer to ask, but there are ways to find out. Give the other person a chance to react to overtures, and don't immediately grab for things - this is basic RP 101, the kind of give-and-take that avoids godmoding. You can play a sexually aggressive character with a submissive partner and STILL give the actual player cues to react to, so that a boundary encountered can be respected. Also, take responsibility for ensuring your own comfort, and do what you need to do as a player to secure comfort; any RPer worth spending your time with will respect that, and if they don't, it's time to Fade.
Keep it private. This isn't about catering to whiners or puritan purists, but about respect for the community and immersion. Finding the right setup, and keeping it restricted for the participants and the participants only, should be a major goal for everyone who wishes to try ERP. Party chat is a good tool - use it.
Play it up! Let your character's personality show forth during the encounter. Chat it up, introduce some quirks, change things around, and let the other person enjoy who your character IS as much as, if not much more so, than the act itself.
Finally, do not engage in ERP with someone who you are pretty sure is going to create OOC issues, especially ones that might leak into RL with bad results.
As for my own character, Nathan grew up in a troupe of bards and performers who might be referred to as "gypsies", with apologies for any stereotype. They were singers, dancers, jugglers, and yes, a few "courtesans" who were rather open and deliberately outgoing with their sexualities because such makes for a good show, public attention and a good flow of gil; Nathan himself was but a musician and singer with them, but inherited his surrogate family's libertine attitudes. He doesn't expect to sleep with every woman he meets - to play with the wrong townies can bring disaster to a traveling troupe, and many times in the past, his people had to make a too-hasty exit because one of his "siblings" made a play for the wrong person and brought down the wrath of the local gendarmes and politicos; this wariness persists in him despite now being bereft of his former family. Being about as big as it is possible for a Highlander to be, Nathan is attracted heavily to tall, and especially Roegadyn, women, but would never turn down a lovely lady simply because she had a smaller nose or a tail, though his own personal prejudices and physical size means he cannot take Lalafell sexuality seriously at all. Enthusiasm calls his attention more than any physical characteristics, in the end, and he would gladly spend more time with an aggressive Miqo'te than a painfully shy but shapely Roe. He values his freedom to wander and play songs across Eorzea more than he values any particular relationships at this time, and he tends to avoid both hard-to-get and too-easy-to-get at those extremes. He is brash by nature, and terribly wordy, and wouldn't push for a physical encounter with any female who could not enjoy these characteristics, because for him, the play and banter doesn't stop just because the lights go out.
Also, I have an alt in the works who is a powerfully loyal bodyguard for a Lalafellin madam, played by a good friend of mine. This character was the only survivor of a rather brusque and overly familiar pirate crew, and is used to sexuality at a moment's notice, and has learned through hard knocks to compartmentalize friendship and physicality. As the bodyguard, though, there's no concern about being made part of the merchandise, unless the Mistress demanded it and gil was terribly short, which has not yet happened. In fact, we've been meaning to check in with Umi/PkThundra's courtesan initiative, but RL and other responsibilities, plus my current focus on my main, have slowed down the necessary leveling for this alt that I need for travel and the like.
I'd say the final word is Maturity - have it, find it, get it, but apply it to your ERP and to those with whom you practice it.
ERP is a very difficult subject to talk about with any sort of mature discussion (the irony, right?), so I am gratified to see it discussed in this thread with calm and rationality. As an RPer, I've had my share of it, in both one-night, short bursts and in long-term RP relationships that spanned months, and in a couple of cases years, of time. To be blunt, I have learned many things the hard way, having had some incredibly wonderful, character building experiences, and admittedly, some horrible ones that, earlier in my RP career, led to some severe OOC issues. However, the one benefit to learning the hard way is that one gains insight on how to handle it, so I have a few core rules I have established for myself.
Story is key. ERP should be a part of a character's persona, and build from it, when it is practiced. If one wants to have a character who actively seeks it out, then I say, play on, but the character should remain a character and not merely a posting-machine. That doesn't preclude fast meetings and exciting new encounters, of course, but these should ideally affect, or be affected by, the personalities of both participants.
I insist on at least a little play-up RP before engaging or moving towards a sexual encounter, and I don't mean simply foreplay. I want to talk to the other participant in the same way I'd get to know actual people - banter, share stories, flirt, gauge the characters' attractions, and, to be blunt, test out the other person' ability to RP effectively. Yes, this is elitist, perhaps, but ERP with a bad RPer is ten times worse than any other sort of RP with a bad RPer! Though we have some very limited visuals, FFXIV is still largely a text-based medium for these sorts of thing, and if the banter is bad, the sex is going to be a lot worse!
Comfort between players is the single most important thing - be sensitive to your partners' wishes and how far they are willing to go, and be prepared to stop and fade to black if a comfort zone is breached. I have had a number of RP relationships over several games in which pretty much anything and everything was described in tantalizing detail, but I have had others in which the couple faded to black at the moment the first item of clothing dropped, and the latter were still some of the best experiences of my time, because the story was so well done, the other character so built up and vibrant and fun, that the mechanics themselves were disposable. Yes, it can be a mood killer to ask, but there are ways to find out. Give the other person a chance to react to overtures, and don't immediately grab for things - this is basic RP 101, the kind of give-and-take that avoids godmoding. You can play a sexually aggressive character with a submissive partner and STILL give the actual player cues to react to, so that a boundary encountered can be respected. Also, take responsibility for ensuring your own comfort, and do what you need to do as a player to secure comfort; any RPer worth spending your time with will respect that, and if they don't, it's time to Fade.
Keep it private. This isn't about catering to whiners or puritan purists, but about respect for the community and immersion. Finding the right setup, and keeping it restricted for the participants and the participants only, should be a major goal for everyone who wishes to try ERP. Party chat is a good tool - use it.
Play it up! Let your character's personality show forth during the encounter. Chat it up, introduce some quirks, change things around, and let the other person enjoy who your character IS as much as, if not much more so, than the act itself.
Finally, do not engage in ERP with someone who you are pretty sure is going to create OOC issues, especially ones that might leak into RL with bad results.
As for my own character, Nathan grew up in a troupe of bards and performers who might be referred to as "gypsies", with apologies for any stereotype. They were singers, dancers, jugglers, and yes, a few "courtesans" who were rather open and deliberately outgoing with their sexualities because such makes for a good show, public attention and a good flow of gil; Nathan himself was but a musician and singer with them, but inherited his surrogate family's libertine attitudes. He doesn't expect to sleep with every woman he meets - to play with the wrong townies can bring disaster to a traveling troupe, and many times in the past, his people had to make a too-hasty exit because one of his "siblings" made a play for the wrong person and brought down the wrath of the local gendarmes and politicos; this wariness persists in him despite now being bereft of his former family. Being about as big as it is possible for a Highlander to be, Nathan is attracted heavily to tall, and especially Roegadyn, women, but would never turn down a lovely lady simply because she had a smaller nose or a tail, though his own personal prejudices and physical size means he cannot take Lalafell sexuality seriously at all. Enthusiasm calls his attention more than any physical characteristics, in the end, and he would gladly spend more time with an aggressive Miqo'te than a painfully shy but shapely Roe. He values his freedom to wander and play songs across Eorzea more than he values any particular relationships at this time, and he tends to avoid both hard-to-get and too-easy-to-get at those extremes. He is brash by nature, and terribly wordy, and wouldn't push for a physical encounter with any female who could not enjoy these characteristics, because for him, the play and banter doesn't stop just because the lights go out.
Also, I have an alt in the works who is a powerfully loyal bodyguard for a Lalafellin madam, played by a good friend of mine. This character was the only survivor of a rather brusque and overly familiar pirate crew, and is used to sexuality at a moment's notice, and has learned through hard knocks to compartmentalize friendship and physicality. As the bodyguard, though, there's no concern about being made part of the merchandise, unless the Mistress demanded it and gil was terribly short, which has not yet happened. In fact, we've been meaning to check in with Umi/PkThundra's courtesan initiative, but RL and other responsibilities, plus my current focus on my main, have slowed down the necessary leveling for this alt that I need for travel and the like.
I'd say the final word is Maturity - have it, find it, get it, but apply it to your ERP and to those with whom you practice it.
"But in the laugh there was another voice. A clearer laugh, an ironic laugh. A laugh which laughs because it chooses not to weep."
![[Image: 3610850.jpg]](http://assets-cloud.enjin.com/users/1266293/pics/original/3610850.jpg)
