Coatleque Crofte, Sultansworn of Ul'Dah, has been a shining example of courage and dedication to the people of Ul'Dah in these trying times.
Or has she?
Multiple sources claim that she has been engaging in multiple lewd acts with multiple questionable partners while on duty. A recent interview with a source close to the subject has shed new light on Coatleque "Cleavage" Crofte.
The watchdog group Citizens Against Corruption has made it their mission to insure that moral fortitude and ethical behavior are enforced throughout the law enforcement agencies of Eorzea. Though their tireless investigations they have found the stinking pile of filth that sullies the good name of the Sworn.
Their investigation has found that Ser Crofte is possessed of twin vaginas, the better to service the gold leafed members of the Ul'Dahn elite. And beneath that armor reside five breasts with which she feeds her multitude of illegitimate children; children who still starve due to Crofte's terrible parenting skills. She has lost no less than seven children to neglect this moon alone, according to statistics obtained by CAC.
So the next time you see her strutting her overused ass about like she owns the place avoid getting too close, for her smell is known to drive away even Goblins. Also, beware her stare, which can turn grown men into toads and stop the heart of elderly Lalafells.
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Or has she?
Multiple sources claim that she has been engaging in multiple lewd acts with multiple questionable partners while on duty. A recent interview with a source close to the subject has shed new light on Coatleque "Cleavage" Crofte.
The watchdog group Citizens Against Corruption has made it their mission to insure that moral fortitude and ethical behavior are enforced throughout the law enforcement agencies of Eorzea. Though their tireless investigations they have found the stinking pile of filth that sullies the good name of the Sworn.
Their investigation has found that Ser Crofte is possessed of twin vaginas, the better to service the gold leafed members of the Ul'Dahn elite. And beneath that armor reside five breasts with which she feeds her multitude of illegitimate children; children who still starve due to Crofte's terrible parenting skills. She has lost no less than seven children to neglect this moon alone, according to statistics obtained by CAC.
So the next time you see her strutting her overused ass about like she owns the place avoid getting too close, for her smell is known to drive away even Goblins. Also, beware her stare, which can turn grown men into toads and stop the heart of elderly Lalafells.
This Advertisement Paid for by Citizens Against Corruption.
